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Eating... Help me please.
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if you do end up sorting out your own counselling, make sure that they are BACP registered
I can only echo what some have already suggested, in that CBT is really worth giving a go. And by this I mean one-on-one sessions with a qualified phychologist, books are so hard to follow by yourself. You can get a referral from your GP, and it may help speed up the process, if you let them know how really really bad things are.
CBT really helps to understand your underlying problems, and why you do what you do, which then allows you to 'fix' yourself piece by piece. Your self esteem and freedom will gradually come back, and you will be able to start living your life again.
I know it may not work for everyone, but I highly recommend trying. I wish you all the very best and a fast recovery.
XXX
there were four accredited people within 2 miles of where i lived-only one did CBT, which is what i decided would be most cost effective for me
we had an initial assessment session-to see if she would be able to help me(and also, form my point of view-to see if i would feel comfortable with her)
people dont always "gel"-not through anyones fault, so its important to feel comfy form day one.if not, you need another counsellor.The psychologist attached to my last workplace was a lovely woman, but i would have hated to be in a counelling type relationship with her-it just wouldnt have worked
we are all different
good luck
but yes, she was excellent
Help and support works, try CBT or Eating Disorders as suggested, but what you need to do is ask what it is that underlies this and get to grips with that, then when you like yourself better, and you will, it all falls into place.
Do email me if you wish, and I will tell you more if it helps.
All the best.
Wishing you both loads of luck with finding help with this and getting your life back. It's a dreadful illness and so limiting but there is light at the end of the tunnel; I think I will always remember the first time I went to a restaurant and didn't feel panicked at looking at the menu.
The chances are you don't eat too much, or eat the wrong things, but your perception of what is 'too much' and how you should feel after foos etc is distorted. You need to work on what is underlying the bad feelings that make you want to eat - there is always a reason. Next time you want to eat and just can't think about anything else, really try to work out what is going on that is making you feel that way - how do you feel (and, if you feel panicky, what do you feel that is making you feel that way?). What can you do to help that feeling, if anything? What will help this underlying issue? Eating is a natural reaction that some of us have to bad situtations. Only by learning new habits, i.e. the habit of working out what's going on rather than just heading to the kitchen, have I been able to get this under control. It's flippin hard work and it's tiring, so go easy on yourself when things don't go to plan. Make sure you get plenty of sleep and see as much as you can of family and friends, as they are a brilliant support network.
As others have said, you'll also find some super support on here (some not so super but there are plenty of people with great tips). You can beat this and you can get a 'normal' life back. Loads of luck with it xx
I know that as I get older things will get easier, I truly believe it. It's just copng with it all in the mean time and practising other ways of coping. I'm gonna try so hard.
I really want children, so much. I didn't mention it but we have been trying since we got married and that has only added to me feeling bad all the time and being anxious. It's the one thing in this life I feel so sure about and it's the one ambition I have that is the most important. I know that once that happens I will have somebody else to put completely before myself. And I know that when this happens (if it ever does) that my food issues will take a back seat, as Hippo said.
Thank you guys so so so much. You are all lovely people.
x
(Oh, and white chocolate rules
There is a group based in Surreywww.foresight-preconception.org.ukwho can provide a lot of help, if you are interested. I was told I would have trouble conceiving, and would love to walk back in to the consultant trailing my 4 children, only 1 of which, I might add, was planned. Please do not despair, and good luck in your exams.
You're right though, I know that we've only been trying a short time compared to a lot of couples.
From the sounds of things you're young so no hurry, I just wonder (this goes for myself, at least) whether putting off dealing with the issues will just make them come back later, once kids have grown up, or if life gets stressful, and then you'll have so much more to deal with, that getting yourself sorted would be more difficult.
Also by getting yourself sorted and really healthy, you'll have the best chance of conceiving and having a healthy and happy pregnancy and family life.
I know it seems sensible to put myself first for a bit, but this is something i feel so strongly about. i want it so much
I'm really pleased you are feeling so positive. Remember you are worth whatever needs to be invested by yourself and others to get past this.
I was amazed by some of the support I got from some surprising quarters when I was trying to get better. Someone once said something abstract that really helped me get through tough times. They said think of all the people who you haven't even met yet who are willing you to get better. Could be your future children. I think it's my boyfriend who has never known the ED me but knows about it and offers the most amazing support in terms of affection and logic when I still have fat or bad days :-)
I love that you are showing your sense of humour. It is a valuable thing in getting better. I had depression too before I know a lot of people worry about whether they are more depressed because of their ED or just more depressed and they will feel it more once the ED is gone. Studies show that depression can be enhanced by the physiological effects of the eating problems (sure Hippo understand the science bit better than me) and once people recover they can feel a lot better, or certainly no worse.
Have you managed to get in touch with your uni counselling people? I think they still provide services over hols and things or can offer alternative sources through networks they have. Do you live away from where you spend the hols?
Kittenkat, how long had you been trying before your doctor tested you for ovulation? I know couples are meant to wait a year before going for the usual tests, but if I'm really quite worried that I'm not even ovulating, can I request a blood test to check just that do you know? Or does anyone else know?
"not much sex"= "only every other day"??
THUD!