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Eating... Help me please.
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(sorry to go off topic summerain)
errrrrrrrrrrrrr
Ill get it in a minute
aaaaaaargh
right
harummph!
anyway
back to topic
(looks a bit pink_)
summerrain-I am assuming your periods are ok?
well, we must not hijack the thread
i know it was me that started it
so sorrry
My periods are kind of irregular. Over the past 10 or so months they've gone 34 days, then 43 days, then 28 days, then 38, 39, 33, 32, 33, 33, and the last one was 36 days. So there's that that makes me think I'm not ovulating, and the fact that no ovulation kits are every positive for me. And the fact that I run. And they say depression stops you conceiving too... Don't know if that's so true. Hippo, are you a medical person?
I will say this though
the "average" time to conception is widely quoted as 18 months, and the younger you are, the more reluctance there seems to be to refer for tests(as in, give it time, it will happen naturally)
Unless you are seriously underweight and training huge amounts-it shouldnt make a difference
Are you saying these irregular period has come on since you upped training-you may be asked to reduce it and gain a little weight9tho you arent THAT underweight form what you told us)
I think it would be worth finding a sympathetic GP to maybe think about referring you for investigation now, cos this all takes time
it sounds as though you have a really good reason to tackle the food behaviours and exercise compulsion, and that IS going to be important to make your body as healthy as possible for pregnancy
I only started recording my cycle lengths last year, but they've always been between 4 and six weeks apart roughly, even before I was running.
One of my closest friends has battled with bulimia since she her early teens, but has only started to actively fight it in the last 1yr and half (she's 30). She's doing so well and I'm so proud of her, but she does slip sometimes. The important thing is picking up on the signs of when you're slipping & tackle them head on. Or, if you've already gone past that point, finding the strength to drag yourself back up again & trying to look over what triggered it & what you could do to help yourself next time you're finding things tough. I know this is often easier said than done & I think you would benefit from having somebody you can confide in to help you with your fight.
By the sound of it you're under a huge amount of pressure at the moment and that is almost certainly compounding your feelings. I know when I was in the final term of my degree there were times when I thought I was going crazy. The world is just so flaming complicated sometimes, and then you have to cope with coursework!
My personal point of view for your situation, & I'm not an expert, but enlist some help/support & go for a 2 pronged attack!:o Look at what you're eating with the help of a Dietician, so you can tackle your food anxieties. To legally use the title 'Dietician' a professional has to be registered, so you could do a google search with the words 'dietician' and the name of the area you live in, and then check they're reg. on this site: http://www.bda.uk.com/index.html. Phone 1 or 2 to get an idea of cost. Don't forget, you don't have to tell them you suffer with bulimia if you don't want to (although it wld prob help them advise you better), you can just ask them for info about a healthy diet for you.
Then you need to tackle the anxiety and repetative behaviour part of your struggle. For this I'd recommend either a counsellor or perhaps a Cognitive Behavioural Therapist. You can either find one privately (for the latter you can search for a reg CBT therapist on: http://www.bps.org.uk/e-services/find-a-psychologist/psychoindex.cfm). or get referred through your GP. As far as I know, you don't need to fit any criteria (!) just explain the impact it's having on your life. A decent GP would want to help.
Most of all, give yourself time and try not to beat yourself up if you're having a bad day. Good luck. I truly wish you the best.
Just to say, re the period stuff, a woman's cycle can range from 21 to 40 days or more, with an average of around 28 days. But anything between 24 and 35 days is common.
When I wasn't taking the pill I was 32-34 days between periods, which was great! Now, with the pill, i'm restricted to 21 days agggghhhh! How unfair is that?!
These might be useful sites for you: http://www.womenshealthlondon.org.uk/leaflets/cycle/cycle.html
http://www.womens-health-concern.org/
Hope that helps
I'm not that bad when it comes to making myself sick as a compensatory method - I hate doing it so it's only when I'm really desperate that I will do that. Don't think I've done that for a good month or so. It's running that I use - I know I can go out and burn all the calories I need to in a 'healthy' way if I've lost control and binged.
I'm going to be seeing a CBT counsellor, and I have high hopes. Considering the price! I really want to become more confident in myself and my coping abilities. I know this is the key.
As for periods, I know I'm in the normal length range most months, but it's the fact that the length changes from month to month that worries me. I don't know if I'm being over-worried or if it's normal.
You do have a lot of stress going on. I agree coping skills are key and learning to see the world slightly differently. Study puts people under huge pressure. I'm sure you'll be able to moderate your exercise bingeing and will learn to see your running as an achievement and confidence building part of your life.
Just wanted to give you a practical tip. I found getting to the initial counselling session very hard. Thought I was fine until about an hour before when I had to go and hide in some public loos in tears - and I don't cry often. Especially in public toilets where the only thing available is that shiny non-absorbent toilet roll that just moved the tears around my face :-)
Might be worth pre-planning for the day of your first session by trying to keep yourself busy beforehand - go for a run, meet a friend for coffee, anything that isn't passive really. I know from others I met that thoughts of chickening out are to be expected and perfectly normal. You might react differently but try to think ahead to how you might react and plan for it. And do something nice for yourself afterwards - cinema or something. No study! YOu have to reward yourself for taking such a positive step.
Hopefully I'll be OK. As I said earlier on, I'm taking Sertraline and it seems to help me with my social confidence, so I feel I should have the guts to go and talk to this counsellor... Well, if not, I will definitely be taking your advice, so thank you
x
Once you start counselling, you'll be given some helpful techniques to work through the urge and you'll find yourself in this situation less and less.
I know you've got some books you mentioned before. Do they have chapters on 'thinking errors', things like black and white thinking, catastrophising etc? I'd recommend reading these as they'll help you understand your response to your binge a bit better. I know it might feel like it's all gone to pot but has it really? This sounds like a good example of black and white thinking to me. You feel desperate because it feels like the end of the wolrd but try to remind yourself it's just one day, one binge and it's done now. Pick yourself up and find that resolve again to be kind to yourself.
Please don't be hard on yourself. You are under a lot of stress. Hey, I still sometimes get the urge to binge even now when I have tough deadlines at work and the voices are telling me how useless I am and how it won't get done etc etc and I've had a lot of support to get me to this point. You are doing everything right and I know it's so frustrating that you can't seem to break the cycle but you'll get there. Just don't beat yuorself up when things slip in the circumstances you're in. You have done a FANTASTIC thing in making a counselling appointment and try to remember this when you're feeling low.
Practically, are there things you can do to help plan for the next time this might happen? Do you know when you feel especially vulnerable and are you planning enough breaks from study and looking after yourself?
I definitely have black and white thinking, I've done lots of thought records and stuff. I guess I should get back to doing them. I actually am really looking forward to seeing this counsellor now, as I'm desperate for the help. I know that she will know what to say and how to help, which is something most people I know don't really know how to do.
Thanks for your words of advice and support. It's really good, and I'm very thankful. VERY thankful indeed
I ended up going for a 75 minute run this evening, and feel better that I have cancelled out some of the calories... Starting afresh tomorrow for sure! I will do it, I will. Willpower! And stopping to feel my thoughts instead of eating over them.
One day I shall be normal!
x
So many of these issues sound horribly familiar, and sadly you seem to be going exactly what I have experienced from time to time. In my own experience, it was the stress related to work that made me purge <<run excessive distances with no food>> and then occasionally binge. It made me a complete mess (mentally and physically) and I am only now coming to terms with it.
You though sound a lot braver than I, at least you are trying to confront your issues by addressing them with a GP or counsellor visit. For me, I never had (and still don't) have the nerve or the bravery to do something like that...although I have confided occasionally to friends and certainly to various similar threads. I have though never really properly addressed it!
Good luck