Eating... Help me please.

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  • I was being serious!!!!!!!!!

    (sorry to go off topic summerain)
  • "carpet bombing"

    errrrrrrrrrrrrr

    Ill get it in a minute
  • holds head in hands

    aaaaaaargh

    right

    harummph!

    anyway

    back to topic


    (looks a bit pink_)

    summerrain-I am assuming your periods are ok?
  • (primly)

    well, we must not hijack the thread

    i know it was me that started it
    so sorrry
  • That's OK people, good to have something amusing on here :)

    My periods are kind of irregular. Over the past 10 or so months they've gone 34 days, then 43 days, then 28 days, then 38, 39, 33, 32, 33, 33, and the last one was 36 days. So there's that that makes me think I'm not ovulating, and the fact that no ovulation kits are every positive for me. And the fact that I run. And they say depression stops you conceiving too... Don't know if that's so true. Hippo, are you a medical person?
  • yeah, i am medical summerrain, but not a GP, so not gynae expert

    I will say this though
    the "average" time to conception is widely quoted as 18 months, and the younger you are, the more reluctance there seems to be to refer for tests(as in, give it time, it will happen naturally)

    Unless you are seriously underweight and training huge amounts-it shouldnt make a difference
    Are you saying these irregular period has come on since you upped training-you may be asked to reduce it and gain a little weight9tho you arent THAT underweight form what you told us)

    I think it would be worth finding a sympathetic GP to maybe think about referring you for investigation now, cos this all takes time
    it sounds as though you have a really good reason to tackle the food behaviours and exercise compulsion, and that IS going to be important to make your body as healthy as possible for pregnancy
  • You think it would be worth finding a sympathetic GP now? I worry they won't take me seriously and tell me I'm worrying over nothing. Do you think irregular periods are a good reason to go now rather than after a year?

    I only started recording my cycle lengths last year, but they've always been between 4 and six weeks apart roughly, even before I was running.
  • Hi Summerrain. You certainly have a lot of support here & deservedly so, u've been v. brave to post your worries. It's a major thing for anyone to admit they are struggling (no matter what the problem) & it takes a lot of strength to ask for help. Well done you.

    One of my closest friends has battled with bulimia since she her early teens, but has only started to actively fight it in the last 1yr and half (she's 30). She's doing so well and I'm so proud of her, but she does slip sometimes. The important thing is picking up on the signs of when you're slipping & tackle them head on. Or, if you've already gone past that point, finding the strength to drag yourself back up again & trying to look over what triggered it & what you could do to help yourself next time you're finding things tough. I know this is often easier said than done & I think you would benefit from having somebody you can confide in to help you with your fight.

    By the sound of it you're under a huge amount of pressure at the moment and that is almost certainly compounding your feelings. I know when I was in the final term of my degree there were times when I thought I was going crazy. The world is just so flaming complicated sometimes, and then you have to cope with coursework! ;) At one time I realised I'd been sat staring at my computer for over 2hrs without realising it, just thinking every thought, all at once! I felt lonely & decided I needed some help to get back on an even keel & saw a low cost counsellor for a while. It helped me unload, learn how to cope & stop being so tough on myself - we'll always be our own worst critics!

    My personal point of view for your situation, & I'm not an expert, but enlist some help/support & go for a 2 pronged attack!:o Look at what you're eating with the help of a Dietician, so you can tackle your food anxieties. To legally use the title 'Dietician' a professional has to be registered, so you could do a google search with the words 'dietician' and the name of the area you live in, and then check they're reg. on this site: http://www.bda.uk.com/index.html. Phone 1 or 2 to get an idea of cost. Don't forget, you don't have to tell them you suffer with bulimia if you don't want to (although it wld prob help them advise you better), you can just ask them for info about a healthy diet for you.

    Then you need to tackle the anxiety and repetative behaviour part of your struggle. For this I'd recommend either a counsellor or perhaps a Cognitive Behavioural Therapist. You can either find one privately (for the latter you can search for a reg CBT therapist on: http://www.bps.org.uk/e-services/find-a-psychologist/psychoindex.cfm). or get referred through your GP. As far as I know, you don't need to fit any criteria (!) just explain the impact it's having on your life. A decent GP would want to help.

    Most of all, give yourself time and try not to beat yourself up if you're having a bad day. Good luck. I truly wish you the best.
  • Hi, sorry me again.

    Just to say, re the period stuff, a woman's cycle can range from 21 to 40 days or more, with an average of around 28 days. But anything between 24 and 35 days is common.

    When I wasn't taking the pill I was 32-34 days between periods, which was great! Now, with the pill, i'm restricted to 21 days agggghhhh! How unfair is that?! ;)

    These might be useful sites for you: http://www.womenshealthlondon.org.uk/leaflets/cycle/cycle.html
    http://www.womens-health-concern.org/

    Hope that helps
  • Pootle, thanks for the help :) I've looked for a dietician and it seems none of the ones who work close by are registered... oh dear. I'll have to go further afar I think.

    I'm not that bad when it comes to making myself sick as a compensatory method - I hate doing it so it's only when I'm really desperate that I will do that. Don't think I've done that for a good month or so. It's running that I use - I know I can go out and burn all the calories I need to in a 'healthy' way if I've lost control and binged.

    I'm going to be seeing a CBT counsellor, and I have high hopes. Considering the price! I really want to become more confident in myself and my coping abilities. I know this is the key.

    As for periods, I know I'm in the normal length range most months, but it's the fact that the length changes from month to month that worries me. I don't know if I'm being over-worried or if it's normal.
  • Good luck with the counselling, summerrain. You should be very proud of yourself.

    You do have a lot of stress going on. I agree coping skills are key and learning to see the world slightly differently. Study puts people under huge pressure. I'm sure you'll be able to moderate your exercise bingeing and will learn to see your running as an achievement and confidence building part of your life.

    Just wanted to give you a practical tip. I found getting to the initial counselling session very hard. Thought I was fine until about an hour before when I had to go and hide in some public loos in tears - and I don't cry often. Especially in public toilets where the only thing available is that shiny non-absorbent toilet roll that just moved the tears around my face :-)

    Might be worth pre-planning for the day of your first session by trying to keep yourself busy beforehand - go for a run, meet a friend for coffee, anything that isn't passive really. I know from others I met that thoughts of chickening out are to be expected and perfectly normal. You might react differently but try to think ahead to how you might react and plan for it. And do something nice for yourself afterwards - cinema or something. No study! YOu have to reward yourself for taking such a positive step.

  • I am really nervous, but I'm not going to let myself chicken out. I'll definitely go for a run beforehand, get that confidence buzz it so often gives me :) And if I think of bottling it, my husband will be on hand to talk me back into it. He's good like that!

    Hopefully I'll be OK. As I said earlier on, I'm taking Sertraline and it seems to help me with my social confidence, so I feel I should have the guts to go and talk to this counsellor... Well, if not, I will definitely be taking your advice, so thank you :)

    x
  • He sounds like a fantastic husband. I'm sure it'll go well for you. You get to talk all about yourself for an hour or so which you don't get the chance to do often enough in my opinion :-)

  • Grrrrr! I've done it again, I lost control and binged so big, it's horrible! I thought I was doing so well the past few days, I was in control and now it's all gone to pot! I hate how this happens! Why can't I stop it happening? It's because I'm feeling down, really quite rubbish and so I ate and ate and ate and ate. And ate more. I feel horrible. I need to run urgently. I need to get rid! Why can't I eat normally like normal people???!!!!
  • Summerrain Don't panic! Go and get a piece of paper, and write all those horrid feelings down. Turn it over and write some more on the back if you need to, then take it, tear it up and put it in the bin. You are NOT some evil monster, and it is only one day. Then, when you feel able to, go out for an easy run, and next time you feel the need to make yourself feel better, go out and spend the money you might spend on chocolate, cakes, biscuits or whatever on some sexy undies or anything else that makes YOU feel good, even if it is just a pair of running socks.
  • Summerrain Don't panic! Go and get a piece of paper, and write all those horrid feelings down. Turn it over and write some more on the back if you need to, then take it, tear it up and put it in the bin. You are NOT some evil monster, and it is only one day. Then, when you feel able to, go out for an easy run, and next time you feel the need to make yourself feel better, go out and spend the money you might spend on chocolate, cakes, biscuits or whatever on some sexy undies or anything else that makes YOU feel good, even if it is just a pair of running socks.
  • oops Got a bit carried away there!
  • It's just that I've done the damage, I can't make it any better except by running and to do that I need to wait a few hours until this horrid horrid food digests some... urgh.
  • I'm sorry, that was quite negative. I'm going to try your idea. Right now.
  • I know, it sounds very silly, but it worked for me. Just the physical action of putting all those things that were going round in my head down on paper made me confront them. Then literally throwing it away made a difference. It might not help you, but it is worth a try.
  • Tootie A is right. (((Don't panic summerrain))) It's just one day and one slip and you're under a lot of stress right now. You haven't actually started to receive any support as yet so aren't equipped with skills beyond willpower to control these things. And willpower is great but not many people stop bingeing using willpower alone as I'm sure you know. Especially when they're under a lot of stress!
    Once you start counselling, you'll be given some helpful techniques to work through the urge and you'll find yourself in this situation less and less.
    I know you've got some books you mentioned before. Do they have chapters on 'thinking errors', things like black and white thinking, catastrophising etc? I'd recommend reading these as they'll help you understand your response to your binge a bit better. I know it might feel like it's all gone to pot but has it really? This sounds like a good example of black and white thinking to me. You feel desperate because it feels like the end of the wolrd but try to remind yourself it's just one day, one binge and it's done now. Pick yourself up and find that resolve again to be kind to yourself.
    Please don't be hard on yourself. You are under a lot of stress. Hey, I still sometimes get the urge to binge even now when I have tough deadlines at work and the voices are telling me how useless I am and how it won't get done etc etc and I've had a lot of support to get me to this point. You are doing everything right and I know it's so frustrating that you can't seem to break the cycle but you'll get there. Just don't beat yuorself up when things slip in the circumstances you're in. You have done a FANTASTIC thing in making a counselling appointment and try to remember this when you're feeling low.

    Practically, are there things you can do to help plan for the next time this might happen? Do you know when you feel especially vulnerable and are you planning enough breaks from study and looking after yourself?


  • I am looking after myself as best as I can, and I have a list of things to do when I feel the urge. But that list simply gets thrown out of the window and forgotten when I get the urge, because bingeing seems the only thing that will make me feel better, and without it I would just be so so even more anxious that I just don't care about any of those things. And even when I do try to take my mind off it by doing other things like going for a walk etc, I still end up bingeing later on. The urge doesn't seem to subside.

    I definitely have black and white thinking, I've done lots of thought records and stuff. I guess I should get back to doing them. I actually am really looking forward to seeing this counsellor now, as I'm desperate for the help. I know that she will know what to say and how to help, which is something most people I know don't really know how to do.

    Thanks for your words of advice and support. It's really good, and I'm very thankful. VERY thankful indeed :)

    I ended up going for a 75 minute run this evening, and feel better that I have cancelled out some of the calories... Starting afresh tomorrow for sure! I will do it, I will. Willpower! And stopping to feel my thoughts instead of eating over them.

    One day I shall be normal!
  • real sense there Cheshire Cat- Good luck Summerrain -hoping you'll be as right as rain asap:O)

    x
  • Summerrain Good luck, it will take time, but you will get there. And I hope all your exams went well. Remember, you do not have to be, and nobody is, perfect. I hope you enjoyed your run.
  • Summerrain you are clearly not alone in all this and its obvious that there a lot of people willing to help and support you. I hope everything goes well as you finish your uni course.
    So many of these issues sound horribly familiar, and sadly you seem to be going exactly what I have experienced from time to time. In my own experience, it was the stress related to work that made me purge <<run excessive distances with no food>> and then occasionally binge. It made me a complete mess (mentally and physically) and I am only now coming to terms with it.
    You though sound a lot braver than I, at least you are trying to confront your issues by addressing them with a GP or counsellor visit. For me, I never had (and still don't) have the nerve or the bravery to do something like that...although I have confided occasionally to friends and certainly to various similar threads. I have though never really properly addressed it!
    Good luck
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