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i need some shoulders... big ones...
just got back from devon tonight. been down there for 3 days staying with my folks. yesterday morning mum and i caught the bus into town with the kids and went swimming. E was very tired after swimming and the plan was that i would run home, leaving mum to get the bus back with the kids. i wasn't sure about doing it because i knew how tired E was, and also how mum doesn't cope when the kids play up.
anyway, she persuaded me it would be fine. i waited until the bus arrived, then i phoned dad and asked him to drive to the bus stop to pick them up. he drove in my car (he is insured to drive it).
when i got home, mum said that E had been a nightmare and had had such a big strop getting off the bus that she had wet herself. she then said she had come home and been sick. she was in bed sleeping when i got back, which i wasn't surprised about - had suggested to mum to prioritise nap over lunch.
anyway - tonight i got a knock on my door from gwent police. there had been a complaint about the way my mum and dad had treated E. a member of the public had complained that they had smacked her, shouted at her and used abusive language...
as you can imagine, i am in bits. i have never fully trusted my parents but thought it was my paranoia. i know that it may just have been someone over-reacting to what they saw. but mum said that E was fine on the bus. the bus journey was only 15 mins long. dad was there to meet her at the other end. WHY did she react like that when E started crying? there is NO excuse for it.
so now of course i have to tell my parents. that will go down well. many of you know the history with my mum... i thought an hour while i ran home from town was safe. i was wrong...
of course, i can't take risks like that with T etc... although there will be no outcome of this, i just cannot believe that my own mother has done this.
the thing is that E was VERY tired. i knew that and mum knew that. i am cursing myself because, in spite of knowing it, i let her go home on the bus with mum...
on the other hand, i did put her on the bus (she was fine) and arranged for dad to meet them, so no walking. i thought that was the safest option. and i thought she would just go home and put E to bed for an hour.
but i am just so cross with myself because deep down i guess i know that my parents can't cope with my kids. even for an hour. makes me very sad really. and i feel so guilty because i left them for an hour to have a run and ... this happens...
so... what do i do then? i obviously can't leave my kids with my parents for an hour even. do i carry on seeing them? should i cut off all contact.
it's not like i haven't worried about this before. no smoke without fire. etc etc.
Blimey CM, that's a huge decision to make and none of us can tell you what to do as you have to judge it based on all the history, only you know your parents better than anyone and know what they can and cannot cope with. I do know though that if the same thing had happened with my parents (who I generally get on pretty well with) I would never allow them to be alone with my kids again. If I lose it and shout at my kids (which I generally try not to do) I know it's a cumulative effect of being stressed out with them not listening to me etc. but for my parents who don't see them that often to have a worse reaction (swearing at children is never acceptable in my book) then I'd have to limit their contact with my kids and would never trust them alone again. But whatever you decide that's not to say you can't keep contact with your parents. You know what feels right and you have to go with your gut feeling on this one. Either way it's a horrid situation, try not to stress about it too much and ((())).
Camio - glad all went okay and you're home. Don't forget you're supposed to be taking it easy now and even if the docs didn't specifically say it - "DON'T RUN" - at least for a little while. Take care now.
Caro - looking forward to hearing about little baby Caro tomorrow. Like everyone else have been checking every couple of hours today for news, really does feel like we've all got a share in this little one - you were planning on having 20 running god-mothers right?
thanks Karen. that's a lot of sense. hard though. argh...
Thanks so much for all your lovely replies! I did actually manage to get out for a run yesterday afternoon while hubby looked after Harry. Managed 3.71 miles in 35m 41s (according to mapmyrun!) so quite pleased with that. The only thing that stopped me doing more yesterday was the fact I'm just not fit enough at the moment, so frustrating!
You have all made me feel better about the babyjogger idea. I might see if I can get a second hand one. What is it actually like to run with one? I just have this image of baby bouncing all over the place and hating it? Can you actually run anywere with one or do you have to be careful?
I would be quite happy on a treadmill, love the gym, but really I'd only be able to go once hubby was home and Harry was in bed and to be honest, I'm in bed not long after that myself cos Harry is still not sleeing through. During the day my MIL would be more than happy to look after him but I'm still breastfeeding and H isn't that happy being with anyone else but mummy for very long
I think it will improve once the nights get a bit lighter. Hubby is usually home by about 5 and bathtime isn't till 6 so I'll be able to start going out then I think.
I'll tell you what's got me feeling all like I should be able to do more than I am. Jenni Falconer tweeting about marathon training and doing 14 miles! Her baby was born the day after mine!!
Anyway...I live in Stockport so should anyone happen to be anywhere near here let me know!!
Woo hoo. Congratulations Caro well done. Looking forward to hearing all about it!
Hope you are feeling ok Camlo. Take it easy.
CM - what a shocker. Not sure what else to say. I probably wouldn't cut all contact entirely but wouldn't leave them alone with them again. Can't believe the police haven't been to see them.
Can't see my 18 miles with 12 at MP happening today. Too bloody icy and snowy. I will run 18 miles but there is no way I will be able to push the pace in this. Grrr.