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I am feeling more than ever like I don't want my kids subjected to my folks. Even when I am in the house my mum will shout at the kids and call them names. I have never asked her not to do it. Perhaps I should try that first. I guess all that will happen is that she will stop talking to me for a few weeks / months as she goes into a sulk. But then that is fine as it removes my decision from me. I don't want them to grow up without grandparents but I would rather that than they hear things like that said about them. Thanks for listening girls. X
Caro, fabulous to hear you are home already, hope the birth went as you planned. Looking forward to seeing some photos of Eric soon. You'll be able to take him to see the bust of his ancestor he is named after one day, that's pretty cool!
CM - loved the pic of E in her outfit this morning, she is so cute. Well done for talking with your parents about the situation, it can't have been easy. Although nowhere near as extreme as your situation, it was as real eye opener for me when I heard my family speaking to Max when he was only 6 months old, someone called him stupid for holding the wrong end of his bottle! All of a sudden it became clear why my school reports said I was bright but lacking in confidence. I was the youngest of 4 and never measured up (showed them all though as I was the only one to get a 2:1 degree then went on to become a chartered acountant!). You will do what is best for you and your kids, you have already shown how strong you are by leaving T. You know we are here for you (()).
Kinsey, hope you are OK, roll on the weekend!
Joh, hope J is OK and the rest of you don't succumb.
CC, glad J is improving, you are doing so well, you really deserve some 'me' time and also some quality time with Mr CC (()).
Phew. First chance of a quiet sit down with a cuppa. Just had 10 kids in the house after school but hubby has now left with 7 of them to take to swimming, badminton and athletics and I just have the twins and Reece left here! Think I got the better deal! He coaches the athletics so has to go! Sophie and Dylan have Badminton for a hour beforehand and we have to drop my nephew off at swimming which thankfully is the same place as the badminton. Then we have my friends two kids who go to athletics with us and another friends daughter who was also needing a lift to the pool! Good job we have a minibus! They all get home about 7.30 and then Sophie and Dylan have to be out again when Grandad picks them up at 8pm for their accordian and fiddle club. In the meantime another friend will drop her daughter over here to get a lift to the club too! Mondays are mad!
Work for me today and two recovery runs. 4 miles early this morning and 6 miles after work and before the kids got home from school. Legs fine after yesterdays effort.
Loads of fab running going on. Well done y'all!
Looking forward to hearing from Caro and seeing pics of peerie Eric.
Boo to the cabin fever CC. Hope S bounces back quickly and that you get out tomorrow.
CM - E's pic was very cute.
Hope MMs injury is improving.
And that Minks you can get yours sorted. Bummer about the long run. I don't think I would want to train for a marathon if I didn't enjoy long long runs. The marathon isn't everything, you could always work really hard to improve speed and target shorter distances. Think we all get a bit too focussed on thinking the marathon is the holy grail of running. Or of course there is nothing wrong with running for no targets other than enjoyment!
Right better get my stinky kit off and nip up to the local shop for fresh fish. Monday night is usually homemade fish and chips yum yum.
Sorry to hear that some of you identify with the emotional battering from family. I honestly thought it was normal. Probably why I put up with T's attitude for so long...
Lotte- your logistics always make my eyes water!!
Thanks for fab lunch and fab time CM. I'm glad we cheered you up. Thanks so much for the clothes and booster seat. You are a true gem and nowhere near the monster your Mother describes. E is an angel. Quite how anyone could hurt her verbal or otherwise I have no idea. Thanks for comments re my kids. They are good most of the time, and loved your spag bol!!
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Still feeling rather grotty with cold, but did swim 80 lengths this morning. Knee a bit grumbley but thats from the car journey more than anything. Physio later anyway. I can now drive with no pain, but still getting aches and pains in the knee. Did 10 mins aqua run on Sat and 40 lengths which seemed ok at the time but seemed to flare something up afterwards. Nice to know I can still swim though. Not swam since I was 38 weeks pregnant with S, but still managed 1500m in 30 mins just steady swimming half with pull buoy. Only took just over 40 for the 80 lengths and I didn't feel tired at all. Guess a lot of endurance still there.
I have no idea how Lotte manages ever. My life is hectic but I just have 3 kids and 2 of them go the same place each day!!
Boo to injury Minks. Roller, sit on ball, stretch, sports massage, osteopath I suggest. Then physio if none of them work.
Right best get some tea made for the kids. Hubbie out running with my garmin that hasn't been used for nearly 5 weeks now
. Thanks to CM though and her fab lunch spread I don't have to cook so just some beans on toast will do. Hurrah!! 
Hi I'm just getting back into proper running after giving birth 9 weeks ago and my old friend is back... achey 'hot' knees. Before supplements like glocosamine and chrondition helped prevent or at least reduce effects of longer distance on my knees. However as am breastfeeding I've been told can only take cod liver oil.
Do any of you have any advice for things can take or do that will pre-empt my bad knees??? As am hoping to up my mileage. If do can you message me on here
Thank you!!!
Well, have booked appointment with chiropractor for next Monday. Unfortunately the clinic by our doctors' surgery is only open on Mondays and Thursdays - he had appointments for Thursday afternoon but I'm at work and can't really afford time off because I'm so busy there, so Monday it will have to be. Gone for chiro because I think it might be a joint issue, or even lower back as I'm now getting some dull pain in my lower back on the left side. Could be a trapped nerve even. I will be pleased if I can even get some sort of diagnosis as the discomfort jumps about so difficult to pinpoint the source and the possible cause. I hesitate to even call it an "injury" because I can run with it - it's just pretty uncomfortable especially after 10+ miles but OK on shorter runs.
Lotte, not sure if I like long runs or not to be honest. Last time when I trained for VLM in 2010 I remember enjoying them, but so far this time around not so much, even though I now have a running buddy to do them with. I think I've come into this training with less of a 'base' than last time so (injury notwithstanding) I'm finding it tougher. Last time around I regularly ran 14 miles for a Sunday long run even if not training for anything (I used to alternate 10, 12 and 14 and just repeat) so the jump up to 20 wasn't too bad. This time long runs have only been 10 miles or so, since August anyway when I met my running buddy and started hooking up for long runs. I'm sure he'd be happy to do what I used to do though. Training times this time round are slower as mentioned previously. I'm not convinced I'm in sub-3:15 shape even if I manage to sort the injury so I need to do a bit of soul-searching on VLM.
CM, lovely that you met up with MM. Hope she's OK and getting over the injury.
Kit turns 5 on Monday next week so we are busy organising his party. The theme is Superheroes and we've bought him a Spiderman costume - which he keeps wanting to wear! Hope it lasts until Saturday! Ordered loads of plates, cups, balloons etc earlier - have got all the non-perishable food bits and party bag fillers, now just need to finalise the games and sort the cake!
Just written an e mail to our friend who looked after M all wk end, with all the gory details, so will copy it to you all, as I know how much we love this sort of thing
Actual birth was quick after waters were broken. Ian was supposed to go home at 8.30 and at that point we thought they'd send him home and then do things in the morning. But the registrar was asked if she would do it that night and she said yes, so he hung around and we finally got into labour ward at about 11. I did keep saying as soon as you break my waters if everything is fine I want to go to the midwife led unit, so that was still the plan. However as soon as they broke my waters the baby wouldn't settle so they had to keep the trace on, and wouldn't let me move, and the pain quickly became very very intense. I needed the loo as I thought I needed a poo(!) so went down the corridor and by the time I came back was only just holding it together, and they had told me he was back to back, so that panicked me a bit as Matilda had been, so I asked for an epidural. They got as far as putting the canula in my hand, taking bloods and putting me on a drip, then the MW examined me and I was 9cm, so end of epidural. She then somehow flipped the rest of the crevix over his head (nice!) so that I was 10cm, and then the fun started. Having never felt the urge to push with M I didn't really know what to expect, but now I do! However, as he was back to back he was coming out looking up, so the widest bit of his head was coming through the pelvis. So when he got to that point with his head in my pelvis, before they could see it, I really thought my pelvis was going to split in 2. The agony down the front of it was out of this world and continuous, not coming and going with the contractions. I tried kneeling up but that didn't help, so it was into the stirrups for optimal pushing. According to my notes I pushed for 39 mins, so not that long, and he did come out flat on his back looking up at Daddy!
I had a 1st degree urethral tear so then needed a urinary catheter put in, and a 2nd degree tear higher up as well. The registrar was called back after the birth as I was bleeding quite a lot, and she did the stitching. I then finally got to go to the birthing unit which I was glad about as it was much quieter than the post natal ward. Didn't really sleep, as it was 4am by then.
So all in all, despite that, it was a much much nicer experience than last time. The staff were on the whole, lovely - only one slightly grumpy MW on the pre labour ward. I also felt like I had given birth, rather than had the baby dragged out of me, and I can look back on it as a positive experience unlike last time. I am glad I didn't have the epidural, and not disappointed about the pool - I do not feel the need to have another one just to have a pool experience!!
Not really any sleep last night, but today he's had a couple of good sleeps - one on his front in our bed, one on his front on my lap and now he is snuggled one me in his sling. Not looking good for sleeping in his bed!! Feeding is already sore which worries me a bit. Hopefully when milk comes in it will be better. Am slathering on the lansinoh.
Time for a salt water bath(!)
pics on FB for those that haven't seen.
Sorry, have to go as we're away on holiday and I'm getting some sideways glances as supposed to be helping with bedtime!,
caro - fab to hear from you. boys, in my experience, are gorgeous but very demanding as tinies. much feeding, not much sleeping. but lots of snuggling. as they get bigger, the feeding and snuggling stays a constant; the sleeping gets a bit better. how grand to have one of each. i think it's great. and i am sure M will LOVE beating up her little brother as she gets bigger.
JT - my chafing issue is ongoing. i now have a shock absorber run. it looks like some sort of complicated harness system. i haven't trialled it yet as it arrived when i was in plymouth and haven't been able to run since. i always ran in a crop style sports jock but since i have lost of a bit of weight all my ancient ones (the most recent one was one i bought immediately after E was born and she is 3 next week - it was also bought for breastfeeding boobs, so is XL, which i am not now!) are now rubbing like mad.
i was going to say Lynz - definitely could be a relaxin thing...
so yes, of course Kit and S are 5 soon, because E is 3 next Tuesday. joy of joys i get to spend the day with my dear ex. he is actually taking the day off this year, so that will be nice for me. we are going to her swimming lesson (which i thought maybe he could do with her as he never takes her; but she has declared quite firmly that she is 'not going in the pool with Daddy. he can sit on the side'. okay...) and then off to a farm or something. and then we are picking J up from school and going to frankie and bennys for tea. i may be on the wine quite early on tuesday night to recover from the ordeal.
i have decided today that i need to go and speak to my counsellor about what has happened with my parents. i have long felt that i have 'manufactured' in my mind a lot of the stuff that i feel so awkward about. i imagine that the things they did / said etc are not really that bad. but i have had quite a few people say to me that that is because i was being abused and the abused tend to blame themselves. i can't see it like that, so i think i need to go and get some help...
anyway, i have just finished hoovering and mopping the peas and pasta from the floor after the feeding frenzy at lunchtime (had to drop and run as went straight from our blast in the village to school pick up to athletics in Cardiff to bedtime), so time to go and get myself something to eat...
Sorry you're feeling low tonight,mope you're tucked u in bed by now, nice and cozy, and that the kids give you a good nights sleep!
Jamie if you'd can wait till the vim expo there are lots of bra shops and people to give advice, but I guess you need one now.
Vixo, have a nice mini break.
Sounds like it eventually went quite fast once the waters were broken. Hope they all get to go home today. Assume Caro just messaged JG as can't see posts on FB yet either.
CM- that is shocking. and don't know what I can add that others haven't already said. I guess you might assume it wasn't too bad if both kids were unphased by it but I would also not feel comfortable ever leaving them alone with your parents again, especially as you know what they were like when you were a child. Such an awful situation to be in and so unfair after all you have been through and are going through. (())
Camlo- glad the op went well, agree that watching jeremy kyle isn't a great idea!
Got the in laws here so having a bit of peace while Rosie asleep on grandpa (she is being so spoilt!) and Maggie playing jigsaws with granny. Hubby making bread, domestic bliss!
Sounds like a good idea CM. Keep talking to us lot too. It all helps (())
Wow Caro. Sounds like an ordeal and some bad tearing. Hope you are OK and take care of the boobs. Sophie rippd me to shreds and she was attached properly, I had two people check, just my boobs needed to toughen up!!
Also big hugs to CC. Very hard being by yourself. I am home alone tomorrow till friday night about 10pm. Joy!! Not looking forward to that. Just as well am injured as treadmill broken so waiting for engineer to replace the part at vast cost
...
Physio seemed positive. He laid into my ITB 'Stripping' he called it. Certainly felt like it. He then stuck needles in it too and around my knee to get the blood flowing. Also very pleasant. Not!!!
So total rest again after that except for exercises and stretching, then maybe try something weds, thurs. Might go swimming first thing thurs after school drop off, but have interview 12pm so thats rather awkward. Have to think about it. He was positive and said we could try running in two weeks. We shall see hey!!
Should be doing interview prep. Part of me not overly enthusiastic as not an ideal job. Will take me 45 mins or so to get to the side of Swindon. Need to go through with it though and not embarrass myself, so must do some reading.
Glad it was quick in the end though and you don't feel like you did last time!
CC - know how you feel too - think its the end of half term, naughty kids and being stuck in too much which really makes me glum.
MM - good luck - always good to get some interview practice in, even if the job isn't a perfect match right now it might be a stepping stone? Hope the work the physio did works - sounds very painful!
Hi to Lynz too - I'm no good for knee ideas, my back always goes before anything else gets a chance!
Tied to the house for as long as it takes for the delivery containing all the stuff for Kit's party to arrive, so contemplating a stack of housework and chores ... hence on here instead! What's the betting the delivery arrives just as I set out to collect Kit from school later?
CC, sorry to hear you're feeling down. I was feeling a bit like that last night too - sometimes there are just too many balls to keep in the air (so to speak!) and everything is overwhelming. Yesterday for me was one of those stressy, annoying days when you don't feel you've really achieved a great deal. I was still ironing at 11 o'clock last night and when I lifted the lid of the laundry basket I nearly cried - already nearly full again despite another full load yesterday. Sometimes things are just relentless. Didn't even get a chance to do the food shop yesterday - usually order it online and have it delivered, but my normal slot which costs £3.95 had gone up to £4.95 and I really object to paying that much; that's the cost of a chicken! So decided to do it myself but then realised that I can't be out of the house between 10:00am and 2:00pm because of working from home (and sometimes I do get calls) and there wasn't enough time to do it between dropping Kit at school and starting work, nor between finishing work and collecting him from school. Suppose I could have taken him after school but he's usually tired and occasionally a bit ratty so not a good combination! Just felt a bit of a failure as there are many who have far more to juggle than I do - and much more "life stress" and I can't even manage to keep on top of my tasks.
Anyway, another day, another dollar so onwards and upwards. MM, good luck for your interview - at worst, see it as good interview experience and worry about whether the logistics would work if you get offered the job. Even if you are offered it, you don't have to take it but it will give your confidence a big boost! Hope the physio is working and you're able to get out running again soon. I feel a bit of a fraud really as I'm resting my leg at the moment - I can run on it and it's not that bad but it has been ongoing for a while and I do know that it won't survive 26.2 miles as it stands without the risk of long-term damage. If I can't do VLM it's not the end of the world, but if I can't run at all then it definitely will be!
Right, best stop procrastinating and get on with some housework! Didn't realise so many of us had kids born around the end of February - knew CM's E was the day after Kit but had forgotten that Martha was also around the same time. Anyone born on 29th February will have a 'real' birthday this year!
Yes seeing him again next Monday and will probably see him weekly until I'm sorted and back running properly seeing as insurance are paying. Also going to switch my osteo to the same practice and get that on that insurance too I hope.
I do feel more positive and think I might try and squeeze in swimming before interview on thursday as can't do much more for it on thursday morning anyway. No idea if x-trainer will work. Maybe try that on friday and rest till thursday morning.
I am so jealous of all you doing long runs and Lotte managing her 80 mile weeks and not getting injured. Long runs never an issue for me, but they are hard sometimes and mainly due to fuel or lack of sleep. Fuelling is the key and pace. Steady runs for marathon training should be 60 secs slower than your marathon race pace unless you are doing some miles at race pace. This is where people go wrong as many girls particularly in the club do their long runs at 8 min miling and yet that's their race pace too. Either their race oace is way too slow or they are doing their runs too fast?
Right exercises and stretching done with S climbing all over me and her number jigsaw (extra resistance!!), now of to music group. She is amazing actually, she can now pretty much count to 10, and knows some colours, pink, blue and yellow. Mum reckons she is pre-programmed like a midwhich cuckoo!!
I certainly have dropping balls days. Just stop breathe, prioritise and carry on. I have gone to the supermarket with all 3 kids in tow. Not easy but when needs must and all that!!
Anyhoo, love the birth story Caro, sounds painful but you managed beautifully! Love the pic on FB too, what a gorgeous boy!
CM I think the counselling is a good idea as a way to explore your feelings safely, sometimes we need permission to love ourselves without exception or condition and abusive influences are NEVER ok.
Birthdays - hope you scrummy mummies are all going to baking birthday cakes! I have suggested a joint party with one of Toms classmates so I can share the load!
jobs - ggrrrrrr, commuting is awful when you have little ones to consider, how about we share the euro lottery between us!?!
BRAs - 3 yr old running bras bought while BF'ing!??? Glad you have seen the light CM, I love my shock absorber! Don't forget normal bras too though - no point forking out for running bra if your others still chaff/ rub or if like me you want saggy, droopy flappy boobs.... Well I don't want saggy, I've got saggy....
Hope the bowl of porridge and cup of coffee starts working soon........
I HATE grocery shopping but also feel on-line is a bit risky as I will spend more. Of course the birthday goodies will turn up as you leave!
Tom was due in Feb but actually didn't arrive until 3rd March so at least I have another few weeks to find a present...... Not like I felt like getting him anything when him and Archie started fighting on the bed this morning and he fell on my tummy.
Rosie slept on us for the first week or so, and still wants to have all her naps on me. She is now asleep in the baby chair with vibrate on full! And the nipples will harden up v quick, I forgot how painful it is at first but is fine now, even with Rosie yanking them all over the place, she really is a little monster when on the boob!
Also love the photos on FB, he is sooo cute!
CC- (()) hope you feel perkier today. I don't know how you do it. Can completely understand you not wanting to move again though.
Camlo- not surprised you're grumpy! Hope you start feeling better soon and manage a poo!
MM- physio sounds positive. And good luck for your interview. Whats it for?
So sorry about your cat Tt, its just horrid having them put down
Minks and all the other ball jugglers, yes its relentless! And i'm only managing 2 without having to go to work. Just put more washing on today, how can one tiny baby produce so much more washing! And we haven't even started her in the washable nappies yet....
Must do more online shopping, attempted supermarket twice yesterday, was sure Rosie would sleep after a whole morning awake but she screamed constantly, so went back home, fed her and then tried again 2 hours later. She still woke up and screamed so I did the whole shop with a howling baby and lots of staring (and some sympathy from other mums).
Shouldn't complain as she's asleep now, better do some housework too