It looks like you're new here. If you want to get involved, click one of these buttons!
CM none of us doubt you at all. Did you say it happened in Devon? I thought you did in which case I am surprised that they did a cross force referral and so quickly in order to have someone attend at your house. I don't mean that from a doubting perspective - I wonder more what they are not saying than what they are. J's reaction worries me too - it suggests he's seen it before from your mum and dad and so it didn't faze him. I think the short answer is as Vixo says - if you can't trust them, then you can't leave the kids with them. You don't get a lot of support (understatement) from them anyway so it sounds as though from a purely practical perspective it won't make a lot of difference to you.
We used to get hit on occasion and I remember dodging a belting from a slipper once which backfired horribly as I barricaded myself in my (first floor) room and had to come out sometime. But I honestly think the emotional abuse of being told you're useless/should never have been born is far worse than the odd skelp. I hit Lou sometimes - usually a slap on the thigh or arm and usually out of temper on my part. Not proud of it but it's generally when she's working herself into hysterics and it shocks her enough to stop screaming and then I can give her a hug and we can move on. However I would never ever tell her that she's a waste of space or such like. Actually I would hate to think anyone said that sort of thing to her and if I were you I'd be concerned about your folks saying stuff like that to J and E because there's no physical evidence of that, just a total undermining of their confidence.
Apologies if any of that is patronising or lacks understanding CM - but it is true that for anyone who has NOT been through it then it is hard to imagine. I absolutely do not know what i would do. Hopefully the counsellor can help you work through it all and help you make a decision.
Well I stayed awake today. Just. Trying to psych myself into the 10 miler which I think I am going to do on the tready. Hells teeth it's going to be awful. But it's blowing a gale and I've only got indoor kit with me so I'd have to go home and then I end up at the top of the hill again and I run out of places to go in the dark. Better go and do it.
thanks vixo. i don't think there was anything else to it but i can't be sure. when the policeman turned up, he was hugely reassuring and told me that i had absolutely nothing to worry about and that nothing further would happen. i double checked whether the HV etc would be told. he said no, as he had no concerns about the children's welfare. the person who reported them was allegedly a doctor - so whether it was done with a professional hat on, i don't know. perhaps he/she felt they couldn't observe that and not say something. i can't think of any doctors that my parents know who would have a grudge against them. the thing that i am confused about is how i end up with a record relating to a criminal matter on my file (even if it is closed with no action being taking) when i wasn't even present - JUST because my car was being driven. and my parents' details weren't even taken...
N isn't here at the moment but he will be back tomorrow. he will be around on saturday when i go to the counsellor and has said he would come with me if i wanted him to. he will also be around when i have the conversation with my parents. the birthday party and theme park isn't until 3 / 4 march, so if i make my decision this weekend and tell them, it gives them a whole week's notice. slight problem is that i left a library book in plymouth accidentally and i need it back from them. if i tell them that they are not seeing their grandchildren, i won't get that back so will have to talk to the library and pay for it presumably.
i'm sorry for taking your post the wrong way, vixo. i am so hideously fragile right now. have sat in a meeting all afternoon and all that has been playing in my mind is an image of E, naked from the waist down, screaming, having wet herself and been smacked, sitting on a stone at the bus stop. and then screaming so much she made herself sick. when i got home from my run, i went up to check on her and she was asleep, naked (under her covers). i asked if mum had washed her off if she had been sick / weed herself and she said 'no'. i thought that was rather mean at the time - even if she had been screaming, i would have washed her. so i guess she was hauled up the stairs naked and dumped in bed, having had her sick-encrusted clothes stripped off her.
I can vouch for CM being a lovely person. Very generous, very caring and I love meeting up with you. You are as strong as an ox, so do not be afraid and keep talking.
Hoggle your MIL sounds awful...
Spoke with Daddy over Skype which cheered up the kids no end. Sophie was a bit taken a back but soon started chatting...
Early night for me I think, a little more reading then bed ...
thanks, MM. very flattered. it is easy to be nice when you are around because you, your hubby and your kids are lovely too!
hoggle - i remember you writing a bit about hubby's mum. at least it's not such a problem now - you have the perfect excuse not to meet up.
i have never had much of a tie to my family. my mother was estranged from her mother and father, and therefore the rest of her family too. my father has nothing to do with his sister, and his brother and parents are dead. he wasn't close to them either. his sister's family includes the alcoholic cousin whose children have been taken off her and are now being cared for by my aunt. the kids are so sweet though, but you can tell the little girl's self esteem is shot to pieces. she is only 8. i got together with my counsins and the kids when i was in plymouth, and i was talking to the 8 yr old on friday and one of the first things she said to me was 'you know my mummy drinks, don't you?'. it was almost as if she was saying 'please don't like me, because i am not nice because my mummy is an alcoholic'. mum and dad both look down on his sister's family, i think. they don't work, are on benefits, all smoke etc. they are clearly not reputable people. my parents on the other hand...
Am suspecting hunger may have been primary problem. I do like my food and I generally eat a lot. Today I had brekky, latte and scone pre court to fuel me for the whole morning, then sausage panini style thingy in Starbucks with another latte, a wee creme egg and some water and that was it. I know to some of you that is a lot but to me it is sod all! Nor was it particuarly sensible food to fuel a fast run. Since then I have demolished the above noted food (see earlier post) as well as two tuna fishcakes with salad, a shape chocolate dessert and half a pack of Eric the Elephants (think Percy pigs but elephants!). So now I am totally sugared up. Should head out now!
Hoggle your MIL sounds awful. Glad hubby got a job.
MM what happened to your post on my status in FB? I commented back then both our posts vamooshed!
I have never used Skype. don't even know what it is or how you dial the other person - clearly dial is not going to be the right word! But then I still "tape" things on the V+ box
MR I hope your big toe is OK. REST tomorrow! I miss intervals - miss the chat. I need to come back but I'm too scared not to follow the schedule. This is what is bugging me about tonight. I haven't done what it said on the tin so I feel I need to do it again. BUT I know that I ran 7 slow miles on Monday and that I will do PT tomorrow so my options are either to run again on Fri and try to do either the balance of my 10 miler or the whole thing followed by a 13 mile run on Saturday or else I write it off and just do the 13 on Sat. Hmm. Or I suppose I do the 10 on Fri night, take Sat off and do the run on Sunday but I did want to get it out of the way on Sat.
Think I might just go to bed. BTW where can you buy basic massage oil? Trying to get Andy to see to my legs - can't afford proper massage but anything is helping and I thought oil might assist even more.
MM - I love a pivot table, did one just today! Good luck for tomorrow.
EF - yep, definitely sounds like you just didn't have the fuel to do a 10 miler. When I run at lunchtimes I try and make sure I have a banana about an hour before I go, otherwise I'm starving and have no energy. If I were you I'd write off today's 10 miler altogether and concentrate on doing a good 13 this weekend - but what do I know? I'll shut up and let the experts advise you ... MM?
CM - looks like I'm in the minority edging towards an a) vote. But it doesn't sound like you're curently getting anything constructive from your relationship with your parents, no support, no help, no consideration, and you've said yourself you don't feel that tied to your family. Yes, in an ideal world we would all have a relationship with supportive and understanding parents but unfortunately it doesn't sound like yours fit the pattern and that is totally their fault and not yours so if you do decide that you're better of without them (which I suspect you may be) don't beat yourself up over it, just try and move on. Sounds like Hoggle's hubby has had to do something similar and it is sad that it might come to that but don't ever forget this is all their doing for treating you and your children so badly.
Hoggle - congrats on hubby's new job, bet that's a relief. Good luck with that CV!
Caro - I had the same thing with Anna, resorted to wiping cotton wool soaked in a bit of cold water on her face to wake her up (yes I know, I'm a wicked mummy), but she was sleeping so much I was worried she was hardly having any milk.
Poorly cat went to the vet today. Turns out the claw on her front paw had grown so long that it had gone all the way round to the pad bit on the toe (do cat's even have toes?) and had started growing into it! Vet had to cut the end of the claw off and pull it out - lots of blood and a hole in her toe pad thingy now. But on the plus side that was all there was to it so just a £71 bill which included the antibiotics and steroid injections and they've given us some stuff to bathe her paw in for the next week. I thought cost wasn't too bad but sure Caro will let me know if I've been ripped off .
Right, bed time for me - goodnight all.
Good luck MM!
Have decided to do my 13 miler on Sat and try and do 10 of that at tempo pace. a compromise. the ridiculous thing is I think I have been doing all my long runs at the supposedly long tempo pace as I said before so I should probably just chill about yesterday's screw up.
Or lack of Camlo!! Smile it will have to be!!
You could do a very easy 5 EF instead of 10 that way you've not missd a run and then concentrate on hitting pace on your 13 miler.