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i'm sure you're not that slow, camlo! E had a hilarious swimming lesson a few months ago where she was learning breaststroke. she had her legs so low in the water that she was effectively treading water. it was hilarious (for me to watch!). she was going like hell for it and not moving at all, bless her. she got it sorted quickly though and is now racing up and down the pool but for that one lesson it was so funny.
had difficult conversation on the phone with N last night... he came down early this morning and is very grumpy with me. he left birmingham at 5 and got down by 7 in time to take me to work!! (because we're going to counselling after work so he decided we should only take one car). i do really want to finish it. i know i need to. but i just don't want to make him really sad,which it will. and also it's hard to do that when really the person IS lovely. the kids love him. he's so helpful. all those things make it really difficult to do. but i just don't want to be in the relationship any more. if i could just have him round as a friend, that would be fab. that's not going to work though...
Thinking of you CM, know how hard it must be.
Xx
Damn CM, horrible hard decision to make. Hope the session helps.
Have been thinking about you today CM - hope counselling has helped x
Winter clothes all in the spare room so not far to go! Can't believe the weather is meant to go rubbish again. It's been glorious here today. Had an interesting (ahem) evening - run with club (that was the good bit) and then returned to find G had been sick
She seems ok now, touch wood, so hopefully it's just a one off puke and not a bug. Oh, and Bluebell the chicken decided to try and roost on the kitchen window ledge (outside!!), which was amusing as she was having a stare out competition with the cat who was on the inside! Egg the chicken is poorly again so I think that's why Bluebell is being a bit odd.
Lots of hugs to CM, that is really hard, especially when the person is so lovely (despite the issues he also does have ...), no one likes being mean but everyone is entitled to their happiness, however that may be panning out.
Yay to swimming coaching - one day one day, maybe i'll really try and swim properly ... maybe!!!
Um, what else, I have been kind of skimming but will confess distracted and stressed is getting in the way a little.
Nurofen, hope the puke really was a random and not a bug, which you then hope doesn't go around the rest of the family ... LOL at the chicken vs cat stand off!
Summer has briefly appeared in Moray but it is definitely not going to last. Yesterday I ran in the forest and it was so warm I was down to crop top and shorts, somehow developing a sun tan in NE Scotland!! Bit more overcast today for my run.
Glad I had a good training week last week as my training this week has been pretty pants tbh. Brain struggling, not eating enough food so energy levels low - not sure I need a weight loss plan at the moment but domestic stress is a good one :-/ (constant gnawing feeling in stomach) and sleep is definitely a bit hit and miss as husband still in denial but he's not returned home randomly this week so it's a little calmer for everyone, but I am on tenterhooks the whole time, feel like I have a continual dialogue running in the back of my head whilst trying to maintain "normal" family life with the kids who are still not enlightened of the situation ...
Family being awesome, my poor sister has had numerous calls from me this week, along with some fab girl-friends who all seem to think I am very strong minded and will hang in through, actually it all feels rather lonely and scary but it's absolutely what I want (I think someone asked if I was sure??), so in the absence of real hugs (family too far away), hugs in mugs in the form of hot chocolate it will have to be!!! Need lots of hot chocolate
so, is it just Minks in for London this weekend? At least sunburn doesn't look like an option!! Must go and do your justgiving linky thing
Um, anything else? am sure I've missed loads - when is Lotte doing her mega run? Very soon I am sure ... this weekend?
Library for me in the morning ... but an osteo appt first, whole of right side has tightened up causing all manner of niggles so hopefully she'll see me right.
And on that note, I need my hot chocolate and then my bed I guess ... will try and keep up better!!
Cc and cm big hugs xx
Camlo my legs used to drag and I was told to press my torso down to lift them. It worked and I think they are quite high now.
Project getting intense at work. My project manager is mega stressed and barking orders at me. Am trying to stay calm...
Good luck minks
CC - so rubbish that he is in denial, thinking of you lots. Try and eat, it will help your brain construct better arguments! xx
CM - hope you are okay too.
Seems to be a week of not great news, my brothers friend's baby was born this week but her heart stopped during labour so they have had an awful time as she was transferred to Bristol and has been kept under a cooling process to stop her brain swelling and causing more damage. It sounds like they have no idea what the eventual outcome will be if she survives the first few days. So very sad as they had tried for ages and were obviously very excited about it. Hoping in every way that she will be ok.
Also one of my old rowing coaches had an aneurysm and died and the service is today. So crap, he was only 50.
Counting my blessings and hugging my kids here more than normal.
Hope your day goes ok Pip.
Hope G is better Nuro!
Good luck Minks!!!
I am going for a run!!
Oh Kinsey sad times. Hope your run helps. Just dreadful things to happen to people.
oh goodness kinsey - how awful. i'm so sorry to hear about your brother's friend's baby. that's really very sad. and also about your old coach. although he was so young
cc - big hugs my love. and no, you don't need to lose any weight AT ALL!!!
things ok here. counselling didn't go as i had hoped it might. she was a little less harsh with me this time, mainly cos N stood up for me! but she did lay it on the line saying i have 3 options. a) i decide to finish it now; b) i decide to live with it as it is as a relationship and see how it pans out; c) we remains friends and still see each other but no relationship. i need to decide basically cos N is happy with the way things are. well - he'll live with them, and he would put no time limit on me changing my mind about stuff or deciding i wanted to live with him etc. he has got what he wants really so he's happy.
ARGH!!! just that really. ARGH!!!! i just can't decide. maybe, as camlo says, i just live with it as it is. i just can't see how i can build a relationship in the future on the foundations we currently have.
anyway it's really not interesting and also i shouldn't be doing this in public so i won't. work is crap - have had to tell someone that if they don't pull their socks up, i'm terminating their probation. and i'm tired. very very tired.
hugs hugs hugs to the lot of us ... that is really horrible Kinsey, and agree it definitely makes you want to hold your own babies really really tight. Love that my J STILL loves hugs - in fact both were in bed with me this morning while S was doing her spelling homework - as you do at 7am, but the little things are what perk you up sometimes.
PG3 - stay calm through the barking!!!
sounds delightful ... it's Friday though 
CM (()), sounds like you've had a fun time all round then
not!! So is N happy with the fact that you are not happy? is so difficult ... ach, was going to type more but it's 2.40 and I have to be at school in 10 minutes and I am late almost every day without fail!!!
Suffice to say, I woke up this morning despite another night of really crap sleep feeling way more upbeat for some bizarre reason, but let us not question, but just go with it while it lasts??? Thank you for thoughts, I appreciate it's not cheery, and for some, just not very palateable!!! But we all carry on ... back later when I have a bit more time ...
no N isn't happy that i'm not happy. but he says the relationship gives him everything he needs (except sex, but we won't go there !!). and he doesn't want anything else and will happily live with the relationship as it is now because he gets everything else that he needs out of the relationship. bless him. he's so unfailingly lovely and positive. and i feel like a right bitch for wanting to get shot of the relationship. the man is a true sweetheart.
but stuff has happened that i just can't get out of my head (nothing that he did btw, but decisions that were made). and building the relationship on what has happened to date is like building a house on a cesspit as far as i'm concerned. the counsellor suggested that i had some very specific counselling to help me deal with some of the stuff i really have issues with, but again it comes back to me. it's always bloody me!!! and i'm a bit sick of it. N understands how i feel even if he doesn't feel the same.
gah. it's all too crap and much of it unpalateable - good word, cc!
hope school run good. and spellings at 7am in bed sound perfect to me! must try it myself
Maybe do the good old fashioned thing and do a list of pro's and con's CM see if that helps, perhaps for each scenario? I suppose from the perspective I think N sounds like a helpful and kind person so that is good, but perhaps when you total it up against the con's then they will outweigh him being nice. Hope that's not a useless suggestion!!
well I was late, of course!!! Half the problem being that whilst I was typing, I was holding on the line for bank ... put me in a flipping queue and left me there, and the phone signal is so bad here that I couldn't move from the spot i was on ... suffice to say, I gave up waiting, realised I was then really going to be late so had to pull into lay-by on way to school to phone to say i would be late!!! God, I am so disorganised at the moment.
Not quite sure why I did my shift at work this morning, the pay is fairly low, but it does add up when I do multiple shifts ... but being paid £16 to clean the shelves in the library, while knowing there was a whole pile of washing-up I had left from breakfast this morning sitting at home for me ... and then lovely members of the public kept asking if I would come home and do their cleaning!!!! Need to come up with new money-making opportunities ... keep talking about re-resurrecting my sports massage, and perhaps actually putting into practice the indian head massage qualifications I have, the time is coming I think but definitely need a bit of refreshing of techniques as rather rusty ... perhaps I should ask all my pilates class clients to offer themselves up as 'practice' victims??!
If I lived near you CC I would volunteer for any massage you needed to practice!
I know we are not getting the full picture as you can't/won't post the full story on here but you are doing so well keeping everything together for your kids at the moment. I hope that you make some progress this weekend and love that you got your reprieve from taxi service tonight!!
I wanted to send massive good wishes to Minks for Sunday, hope the weather is kind to you.
I can't believe how fast time is flying at the moment, Friday again already. Not sure what we will do this weekend but will enjoy some time with the kids for sure. They are absolutely loving having a swimming pool (us too!) and are turning into little fish. Fay even loves floating around the pool in her float. We have some positive things starting to happen in our business and have longer left on our visas than I thought (2 years not 1) so fingers crossed we can get things working and get green cards before they expire.
CM - hope you find some answers soon from wherever they will come. We are all here and no one will judge, same goes to you too CC xx
ah TT so great to hear some +++ points for you guys, you have been ploughing through a ton load of shit and definitely deserve a break
Thanks CC, we have secured the endorsement of our product by a massive professional golfer who happens to live locally to us (wow I don't know why but I don't feel comfortable typing his name on here at the moment - we haven't gone public yet but will be in the next couple of weeks). He is in the top 10 in the world and has recently won a tournament. If anyone is interested, ask me over on our FB page and I'll say it there but any of you who were kind enough to like my company FB page will get plenty of posts about it in the next few weeks! We hope this will help us with fundraising and attracting quality staff to our business. Our potential is huge, we have just got so bogged down with the economic and banking crises.
Really do feel like we deserve a break....
Got a friend and her husband coming over later for a bite to eat, not seen them for a while so looking forward to catching up.
ah that really is fantastic TT
will go and prod you for more info on the FB page and enjoy your evening xx
A big tournament. A MAJOR tournament?
Haha, no not a MAJOR one! He's more famous than the winner of that though...
I confess if it's not tiger woods then i'm pretty ignorant!
Am well chuffed for you guys though. That's amazing. And gives me another year's option on your spare room
Sadly not Mr Woods as he is sooo famous but actually this guy is probably better for us in some ways as he is very well respected. Mr W has blotted his copy book somewhat!
Just a tad!
Damn CM, horrible hard decision to make. Hope the session helps.
Tiger Woods is about the extent of my knowledge too! But still, it's fabulous news.
Well I was supposed to be away for an early night, but I'm about as good at that as getting to school on time!! Waylaid by long conversation with my parents whereby I think I've convinced them they do NOT need to drive North next week to offer physical moral support (the thought of my dad driving all that way, even over two days, is enough to put the fear into anyone anyway!!) and I think they are now reassured. Have just realised I want to go to bed but there are no clean sheets on it, having washed them all earlier ... they are still on the line ... maybe I'll be totally lazy and dig out the sleeping bag instead!!! Hot chocolate for me now, hope you all have lovely weekends (even Minks with her London Marathon ... can't wait to hear how you get on) ... night night
I had got into an evening rut of finishing off chores after the girls are in bed then sobbing on the couch watching any old crap on tv. Tonight have some music on and reading instead - can't remember if it was one of you who recommended 'Overwhelmed'?
TTid I am so stoked for you guys re. The endorsement! Must be so satisfying to have something you've worked so hard at validated! And yay for the visa oversight too!!!
Hope Minks has a great race tomorrow. No one else racing is there? Is MM injured again?
CC and CM - sending strength to you both. None of it is easy but you only have one life and you deserve to be happy even if it's uncomfortable in the short term.
Hugs to all in need.
I'm at work now. Little A has chicken pox so I've been at home with her Thursday and Friday, but I only had one day's leave not booked, so this is Friday. I'd planned to be here at 6am to get home while there was still some of the day left, but both girls ended up in with me, with D being forced to go to their room, and the ensuing fight for duvet dominance meant I was awake from 3:30 till nearly 5. Managed to drag myself up at 7:15, but feeling like death. I'd thought about splitting it over 2 days, but the road to work is closed for the start/finish of the Etape tomorrow, so I'm stuffed.
I'm also now behind on my 5x50 (5k a day for 50 days), so I'll have to get the bike out later and put in a few miles - much quicker than running, although probably not easier as I haven't been on my bike since before Big A was born in 2008!
TTid - saw your post on Facebook - wow! Both my hubby and my ex are keen golf fans, so I know who he is - definitely a cut above Tiger.
Hope you had a good sleep CC
I'd have got the sleeping bag out!!
Oh dear Nessie, hope A isnt too poorly with the pox. That challenge sounds good
Good luck Minks for tomorrow!
Tired.com here. Two bad nights with G and the voms have taken it out of me. Bless her, she didn't keep even water down until this afternoon. Was starting to get worried as it had been coming up to 48 hours. Touch wood, there's been no spew since 3pm and she's kept fluids down. No food yet - I didnt dare!! Hope she sleeps! B is en route to Bulgaria and is there until Tues so I need well children!!!
Bit sad about poor Egg too. She hadn't been right for a week or so and then since Thursday she'd been in the house, not really doing much. Then this morning she stopped moving her one leg and wing - it was as if she'd had a stroke. Decided it was the kindest thing to euthanase her at that point - it was awful to see her like that. At least she's at peace now
Sadly not Mr Woods as he is sooo famous but actually this guy is probably better for us in some ways as he is very well respected. Mr W has blotted his copy book somewhat!
Poor egg, boo to voms Nuro, chicken pox Nessie and not having bed made CC
CM - if he does not make your heart leap then certainly finish it, i only said wait if you really werent sure!!
TTid
Good luck Minks and Yve - will have to wait until lunchtime to check results as taking boys to a tri session in the morning.
Hoggle enjoy day with hubby
Q - have had a vibration plate thingy in the garage but dragged it out and used it tonight. Immediately got rid of the ache in my calfs and i am wondering if anyone else thinks they are any good? I would love a regular massage and know i should use a roller... But i dont. This is much easier!?