Mums Running Club



  • Camlo - what is the date of that run? Sounds good to me! Sundays are a bit tricky for me, but can be done - hoping it's a Saturday...
  • oh girls you are all priceless.  coils falling out (or not); nappies for cats (which i had heard about.  in fact, i have even seen a programme about people with desperately disabled animals where nappies were probably at the normal end of the spectrum of things these people used to care for their animals!!).

    i am all upside down again.  hubby has come home from france with 2 more sets of dates where he needs to be in europe.  both lots are on tues and weds (i work mon - weds), and mean he has to travel on the monday night in both cases.  this means basically that for two weeks in a row, we have a clash, as i need to be away mon / tues or tues / weds and can do neither. my parents can't help out as they are away on holiday and t's mum is going into hospital for a gall bladder op, so can't come down either.

    i know i am going to have to resign at some point and i am desperately sad about it.  i LOVE my job.  it's not just working that i love, it's my job.  (even though it's mad and i get stressed / angry etc).  and i am just not sure that i will ever get over having to give it up just so that hubby can go off and have his illustrious career.  that sounds so awful of me, but it is unfortunately true.

  • Oh CM - you don't sound awful at all - totally justified in being peed off and sad.  image   I would say why do you have to give up your job and not hubby, but I know that isn't very helpful.  Hope you can work something out for your troublesome 2 weeks.

     Good racing Lotte - and a prize too.  We are not worthy image

    camlo - hope Tom is feeling better.  

    And Chynah - woooo - go Nate image

    EF - I've never heard of a coil just falling out!!  Eeek.  Must have been quite a suprise!  Still, I suppose it saved having to go and get someone to take it out for you (also eeek).  

    Not much going on here.  Zac having a substantial nap, still a bit grouchy today, but he did put away a stack of spaghetti in tomato sauce, cheese & toast for lunch, so I think things are heading back to normal!  Phew.

  • hello all, caramel this is my first message on this thread and I have just read this page, do you mind me asking if you have a childminder or if you have ever thought of one?

    My husband works and returned to uni 3 years ago becasue he wanted to change career, we have 2 yound ones, my daughter 3 in january is the youngest, I thought about resigning, but it was not an option, i love my job and we needed the money, my family couldn't help as they live in another country and his mother is always ill, so a childminder that looked after the kids and even picks up my yopungest from school when i am runnign late from the office is a life saver, unlike nurseries you get to choose the times and dates which normally dont fit with the 8am to 6pm,

  • andreia - thanks for your thoughts.  the problem we have is that we both need to work away, so it involves us being away from home (overnight).  i don't think there are many childminders that would cater for that scenario - although I am sure there are some.  but i would not be happy with leaving my kids with anyone other than close family overnight anyway.  if mummy and daddy have to be away, i want them at least to be in their own beds at night with all their own stuff.

    we are probably candidates for a nanny really, if i could only get my head around that.  but we are also thinking of private education, and we cannot afford private education AND a nanny, and i would rather have private education to be honest.  although if i have to resign, then we won't be doing that either!

    i am getting to the point where i am resenting hubby for the fact that he can work and have a glorious career (has been singled out as being in the top 100 managers in his company and they are pan-European, so that is an achievement in itself), while i just keep having to make excuses for why i cannot do things.  i know i can't have everything and i am grateful to have 2 beautiful, healthy children.  but for me that is not enough.  i also want a career, and now that it is becoming more obvious than i can't have one, i am getting very cross indeed.

  • nannies are ok, they also do the dishes, iron, shopping look after the house as well as the children, and if they speak english and are not students its a bonus too, but the fact is they have to live with you and i like my private life to remain private and do not feel comfortable going through my things while I'm away. I have no choice but to have a  childminder, my mother died when my son was 1 and my mother in law is always "ill" i think she doesn't like me and yes some do overnight stay as many mums now do work through the nights like cleaners and air hostesses!

    Nannies are cheaper than childminders as they tend ti live with you rent free. average wages for them are £120-£160 per week and they require at least 1 day off and if they are a student a couple of hours a day or at least 6 hours a week to study!

     I dont think you should give up your job, not only do you need the money for your children's future but i know from experience that it keeps us women sane image I was going mad living at home with just my daughter while my son at school, i was doing the same things every day, shopping cooking cleaning, i forgot to laugh and have a social life!

  • andreia - interesting that.  i could not tolerate a live in nanny, although we do have a granny flat, so could accommodate one.  but we use the granny flat a lot when our parents come to stay and when we have friends, so i would not want a nanny living in there.  non-live-in nannies don't come cheap and because i only work part-time, it was impossible to find one last time we looked because they all want to work full-time.  and in any case we don't earn enough to pay for a nanny plus private school, so one thing would have to go.
  • Well done on the race Lotte - that's a great time for such a tough race and fab to get a prize too especially with an injury.

    CM -sounds like a bit of a nightmare but I agree with the others- why should it automatically be you that gives up work? Is T often away on the same days as you or is it just unlucky that it's happened two weeks on the trot? Could you take annual leave to cover the next couple of weeks or is it too late notice to do that? Although it's not along term solution I know. 

    Carovet and CC-thanks for the advice on my knee (and thanks for the sympathy everyone else). I have an appointment with occ health in a couple of weeks so will hopefully get referred for physio - apparently the waiting list is only 2-3 weeks so may not have to wait too long. think I will probably stick to shorter runs in the meantime as i don't want to aggrevate it. 

    CC - it was Westway climbing wall, near Ladbroke Grove / Notting Hill area. Have to say I really like that climbing is as mentally taxing as well as physically taxing. And its nice that it's not cardiovascular and is more about core strength too....makes a change for me.

    Right, sorry to miss lots of people out but I must go and get a few things done while K is in the bath with her daddy.

  • CM - very tricky situation. Is there anyone you could do a nannyshare with? We have friends who have done this very successfully, and the cost is then halved, so becomes a bit more manageable. In the short term could your friends who are nearby help you out for the 2 nights? I accept that's not a long term solution, but also it doesn't seem reasonable that you should be expected to give up work if you enjoy it and it's so important to you. In the long term surely hubby will have to make it clear that he will not be able to be away on certain days, unless agreed well in advance so that alternative arrangements can be made. I think employers will have to be increasingly aware that men also have to be responsible for their childrens care, and that it is no longer acceptable to expect women to sacrifice everything.

    We were given a bag of clothes for Isabelle by some friends when we saw them a couple of weeks ago and I sorted through them at the weekend - 20 pairs of trousers, 27 tops and 3 pairs of pyjamas! Should keep us going for a while!

    Glad the run went ok Lotte. Must be quite stressful with all the travelling as well!

    EF - would have thought the coil would probably all have fallen out, but would mention it to your GP in case they want to check!

    CM - think I saw that programme about the disabled pets - some eccentric people around!
  • TB- the race is indeed on a Saturday -5th December.- have looked online but can't find it although I know someone put a link on another thread so it's def there ! I've not done it before but sounds like a real gem- off road mainly but not get lostable.... I think it starts somewhere by Bwlch Y Sarnau & ends in Abbey-Cwm-Hir. Plenty of walkers hence the food/ drink stops & a meal at the end I gather ! Think it's organised by a walking/ hiking assoc but will have to find a link!

    CM- What a prob for you. I know it's a long shot but would / could you ask a favorite staff member from the nursery to do some private work occasionally for you? Otherwise pretend it's a 'take your kid to work' day? 

    Still grizzles here- was feeling sorry for Tom with his temp so gave him a strawberry split as a treat. Big mistake- he obviously didn't want it so put it down on top of my keepsake box where it melted into certificates, photos, wedding bits etc etc....  joy.

  • I think this must be the event you are talking about - is one of the LDWA walks, lots of those are runner friendly, they tend to be v. cheap compared with running races, and often (including this one) there is a meal at the end! 

    boo to the strawberry split incident image

  • CM that is a hard one, I don't know what we'd do to be honest.  I'm lucky I suppose in that I am the main career person in our house and so if I need to go somewhere - like Manchester tomorrow- then Andy just fits round it.  That said, I have days when I just think why oh why can't I win the lottery and just give it all up and I'm probably there today!

    Talking of which, did anyone see the footage of the party of all the lottery millionaires yesterday - it was to celebrate 15 years of lotto in UK.  Andy and I nearly threw the TV into the back garden, honestly whoever thought it was a good idea to run a story on a bunch of lucky buggers who never have to work again on a Sunday night when the rest of us are having the back to work blues!

    Louise is very anti mummy at the moment.  Ended up in tears (that's me not Lou) tonight because she just didn't want me at all.  Everything was "no mummy, daddy do it" and then she pushed me away when I tried to kiss her night night.  Didn't help that I'd been bathing her and she screamed the whole way through and I went to take her out and Andy picked her up and cuddled her and I wanted to shove him out of the way and say look, I wanted to do the hug bit so she knows that mummy doesn't just do the crap stuff.  but at the moment I do just do the crap stuff, I get her up, dressed, teeth done and then we drive her to nursery and pick her up at night.  Then we fight over tea - she keeps saying she doesn't want it when I know that what she actually doesn't want is to be sitting there when she thinks that she could be sitting in front of the bloody telly watching peppa pig.  ARGH.  it's resulting in huge fights.  She only gets 20 mins PP a day but my goodness it's the be all and end all of her life!  On top of all of that she's constipated and nothing I try is moving it along.  Any suggestions?  The nursery said there's a few kids having the same prob at nursery at the mo and they're all on medicine (reinforcing the bad mother feelings in me as it never even crossed my mind to go to dr re that)

    Anyway, to make you all laugh even more at my coil experiences, that was the second one my body rejected!  The first one got expelled after just two days but thankfully I was at home the first time!  Before I had Lou I had two coils and I had no problems at all but unfortunately they don't make the brand I had then and there's very little choice these days it seems unless you want some hormones as well which I categorically do not.

    Off to drown my sorrows in a large cup of hot choc and a scone I think.

  • That's not good Camlo, when you were just trying to help too...hope it didn't make too much of a mess.

    CM - a real dilemma and I really know where you're coming from resenting hubby's work.  I find myself resenting hubby a lot these days which I have never done before and I hate myself for it.  I know that working full-time is not necessarily enjoyable and is stressful and tiring, but at the same time it is stimulating and gives your week some structure.  I also see it as "me time" which I just don't get anymore unless I take myself out and leave hubby to it.  I do miss my colleagues at school, but I am enjoying my TESOL course and some of the tutoring, although I haven't done any for several weeks now.   Have you tried voicing your thoughts to him?  Parental responsibility is a two part process - Mummy and Daddy - and he shouldn't just assume you would give up your job.  If he is better paid then it might make more sense (although obviously I am not saying you should at all!) than for him to give up his job.  I assume there's no way either of you can move your trips away, saying you can't get childcare?  Surely employers have to take this into consideration?

    Sorry, bit of a waffle.  It just shows though how weighted against you the workplace is when you have kids, despite all the legislation and rights etc.

    TBird - glad Z is perking up.

    Feline nappies image

  • Also, if anyone is online in the next five mins can you tell me if there are any "must go to" shops in Manchester - I ought to have an hour to spare on arrival tomorrow and frankly what I need more than anything else at the moment is a pair of work shoes.  mine are a disgrace!

  • EF - Clarks have some really great shoes in at the moment. Heels with nice padded soles which are actually pretty comfortable to wear - I have worn a pair to work today and 6 people have commented separately on how nice they are which is always nice!
  • it's a right old problem with our jobs.  my full time salary is more than hubby's but not much more. obviously i only work 3 days a week.  i am working in hemel hempstead at the mo (2 days a week) but sometimes need to go other places as well, like last week i was in exeter and brum instead of hemel. my employment contract means i have to be mobile throughout the UK.  if i say no, they can sack me...  i can't say no too many times because otherwise they will sack me.

    hubby is now head of engineering across the UK, France and Germany so needs to travel with his job also.  he isn't able to dictate which days he travels on - and he can't (won't!??!) get out of most of his trips.  up until now i have accommodated by working an extra day from home, but now it's just about every week for 2 - 3 days that he needs to be away.  we can't really ask our friends to help out because it is overnighters as well and none of them have the space (or will - i don't blame them) to have a 3 yr old and a baby overnight.

    i don't know anyone who has a nanny to do a nannyshare with.  and none of the local agencies have found me anyone. 

    the reason it comes down to me to give up my job is that hubby is career focussed and basically i'm not.  he's gunning for the stars - he will be vice president of his company by next year at his next promotion.  i can't compete with that as i am on 3 days a week. i can't be career focussed because i keep having to say no to things because i'm only 3 days a week and i have restricted mobility.

  • Ouch - osteo says my pelvis is wrong left to right and front to back, and she did some work on my ITband thing too and as a result I feel properly wonky...
    havn't had a chance to catch up on anyone else's news - sorry!
  • CM, I found a couple of part-time nanny's through gumtree in Cambridge, as we looked into it when I was thinking of going back to work at my old job. Is there something similar in South Wales? I Interviewed several and most were very nice. They wanted about £7-8 net per hour for 3 days a week, this was 3 years ago mind. Hard problem to sort out. I don't envy you. My hubbie hates travelling, so am lucky. He is even wary of promotion because he hates being awa from home. Bless him!

    Also (()) for Camlo, hard things to sort out for both you and CM.

    Have forgotten most I've just read, so big apologies.

    Sad news for you work colleague JT, hope it works out OK. We have decided to not have the triple test. Just not sure what we'd do with the result. Hubbie said he couldn't look at a Down's syndrome child again if we terminated, so we're going with whatever will be will be...

    Definitely getting better here, although still feel sick when I'm tired. Have rotten cold still and bad headaches, so popping paracetamol. Did manage nearly 5 miles yesterday though, so pleased about that.

    Sorry to hear TMI have turned up for JG and EF. Try not to stress about it all, just relax and it will happen, bit too quickly for us! We were aiming for July baby not May!

    Right best get on, washing to sort out then it's music group in the village. Hubbie is picking up the ellipitical tariner I bought off ebay tonight, so I'm doing bed tonight, first time in 2 months I've done it as been so ill!

  • EF- we don't have peppa pig but monsters inc is on at least once a day & on repeat's like chain smoking only with cbeebies!

    Constipation in children is really common- often linked to not drinking enough- could try something like warm squash followed by a bounce on the trampoline which little ones think is a treat & works as well as medicines which can lead to all sorts of probs if used for a long time.  Combination of warmth, liquid & some movement usually gets things going! 

    Tallbird- yep thats the run!! Looks good to me! 

    Hi Andreia- I'm a newbie on here too (well I guess March to now could make me an oldie but...)  & the girls (with 1 chap (hi RB)) are fab !!!!!

    Lastly a big YAY for big sisters- Mine has been here an hour, swept the floors, cleaned the kitchen & is helping eldest tidy his room (2 bags of rubbish out already)..... 

  • EF - JP cries when PP finishes in the morning!image We have Finding Nemo, Wall-E and anything to do with Mickey Mouse on DVD with quite alarming frequency... I don't mind though - it's not all the time, and it is the one time he will sit still!

    Camlo - can't make that weekend! Gutted. It's the day I have my choir concert in the evening, and we're having a rehearsal in the afternoon. Never mind, though, I will try and make it to Mid Wales for another race sometime soon. there's a series in Newtown in the summer, isn't there?

    MM - hope you enjoy your cross-trainer! So glad you're feeling better (despite the cold!). I didn't have the triple test either for much the same reasons - I wouldn't terminate under any circumstances. What will be will be! I thought it was a lot of unnecessary stress. Do hope things come back OK for your friend, JT, that is worrying.

    Kinsey - ow, that does sound painful! Take it easy x

    CM - hope you get something sorted out for childcare. very tough to balance things at the best of times. I have a feeling we may have conflict to come in our house once I have finished my PhD and start looking for jobs. I am going to have to commute, because jobs are few and far between. Ben is also v career focused but we're lucky in that we live a 10 min walk from his office! He will be having more trips away in the future too though. Still, cross that bridge when we come to it!

    Had a really dodgy night last night - woke up at 3am feeling really fluey. But took a couple of paracetamol and went back to sleep, and I feel OK this morning, if a bit spaced out. Hope it doesn't come to anything. 

  • thanks, MM.  looks good.  i think what we need quite often is someone who can pick the kids up from nursery (or school when J starts in sept) and keep them in their routine at home / get them to bed until one of us gets home from work. hubby really really struggles to get away by 5.30pm to get them from nursery on the days i'm working, and as i am often 150+ miles away, there's not much i can do about it.

    then there are the times when both of us need to be away but that is another matter and there is no solution to that one.  i think if we had someone we could rely on for the evening shift, that would make it easier on a daily basis anyway.


  • woops, something odd happened there - i was going to say

    i don't actually want a nanny to do daily care.  i would rather E went to nursery because she gets really good interaction with other kids and there is always so much going on for her to watch and join in with, and i would prefer that to her being at home with a nanny.  and of course, once J starts as school, he won't even be around to entertain her.

  • MinksMinks ✭✭✭

    Lots of stresses going on at the moment, it seems.  CM, I really feel for you.  Even though your job gives you no end of hassle it's very clear that you absolutely love it, and it seems grossly unfair that you should be forced to give it up.  Is it worth talking to your boss about the current situation to see whether there's any way you could be more flexible with your days?  You may find if you have a chat with the nursery and explain your problem they might be willing to have the kids on different days than their usual ones sometimes if you need to change which days you're away.  Not easy though and you definitely have the lion's share of the hassle.  In your position I'd probably resent it too.

    I work three days a week too, but hubby doesn't have to travel (and nor do I) so it's very workable.  Should we have another baby, though, it definitely won't be worth my while working as my salary wouldn't cover two lots of childcare and we would have no choice but to get a bigger house, which would mean moving outside of London so Mum wouldn't be able to help out as she does now.  We're still investigating areas to move to - trouble is, all the places we've liked so far just aren't workable from a commuting point of view for hubby.  He doesn't want a much longer or more difficult journey than he has at the moment and also there's the extra travel costs if we move too far out.  If we're still relatively near here and don't have another baby I could potentially keep working in my current job.  In some ways that would be good as once Kit starts school I'll need to work different hours - my department is very flexible and likely to accommodate me.  I could potentially work the same hours but over 4-5 days so I could be there to pick Kit up after school if hubby dropped him off.  Lots to consider.

    Camlo, bummer about the strawberry split.  Hope your keepsakes aren't totally ruined, and that Tom's temperature has gone down.

    Lotte, I think you did really well - especially in the conditions you describe and with a sore hamstring.  You MUST now take care and get the hamstring properly sorted before you start marathon training, otherwise you will go to the start line injured again and will never realise your marathon potential.  Lecture over!

    MM, I agree completely that high mileage gets results and I can see now that's where I went wrong when moving up to 50+ miles a week was not doing enough/easy enough recovery runs.  However, while high mileage works in terms of improving times, for me it just wouldn't be an option as I couldn't fit it in.  Saying that, there are ways and means I guess - running at lunchtimes at work, getting up very, very early on non-work days - to fit in extra miles.  I would maybe consider adding an extra run a week.  My planned Monday afternoon runs when Kit's at nursery seem to have died a death - too much bloody housework to do.  Now that my Monday afternoons are free, housework seems to have fallen off the agenda at the weekends.  I was exhausted by 10pm last night, but still had to find some energy to 'get busy' as I'm now at Day 12 of my cycle so needs must and all that ... image  EF, LOL at the coil story!!  Best to maybe get it double-checked though?

    Very tired little boy here - has not had much of nap the last three mornings and wore himself out at nursery yesterday.  Has been asleep now since 10:15 so hope he catches up a bit.  Have promised him soft play this afternoon ...

  • minks - yes it is a nightmare.  unfortunately nursery is full at the moment so i can't even swap days with them.  i tried to get them in on a thurs and fri just before xmas as i am on a 5 day course with work that week, but they can't have them.  so hubby is (apparently) taking leave that week so that he can have them on the thurs and fri.

    every now and then i stop and think about it all and feel very guilty that i am effectively pushing my children from pillar to post.  but it isn't as bad as it seems because it is only for 3 days a week.

    i did some speed work on the dreadmill in the gym yday.  i did some 7.5 min miling which is speedy for me.

    hope the getting busy was worth it, minks...

  • oh and JT i was gutted to find out that bethan from music bugs was selling up.  we go to her class in ponthir on a thurs morning and both J and E love it.  it's great to be able to do something with both of them like that.  so, please buy it. and run a class somewhere on a thurs morning that i can bring both of them to image
  • Wow, CM, that is speedy! I would be OK doing that sort of speed outside (not for long, mind!), but I think I would fall off if I attempted that on a dreadmill!

    Minks - ooh, yes, hope it was worth it... Have another go on Day 14 just to be sure?!image

    Got my scan tomorrow. Feeling a bit nervous about it, but I'm sure they won't find anything untoward. Or at least, I hope not!

  • Argh I am struggling to catch up so apologies in advance for missing people!

    TattB - hope the scan is fine tomorrow. 

    CM - sorry you are having work/child care problems. Hope you find an answer that isn't you giving up your work.

    MM - really glad to hear you are starting to feel better. Well done on the 5 miles and great news that all was well at the scan.

    Yve - sorry you are having itb probs. I sufffer too now and then. The foam roller seems to keep thing in check for me.

     CC - What kind of mileage do you think you will do fo VLM then? I wa looking at P&D up to 55 - you followed that last time didn't you? Would you recommend?

    Minks - thanks for the lecture! I am listening. Chiro appointment tomorrow. Not sure it is the best time to go mind you - my quads are so sore from Sunday. Hubby says I am walking like I have pee'd myself!

    Kinsey - better to know what you are dealing with and you can get back on track.

    Did 20 miles on the bike this morning but there is no way I could run yet! Hubby went to Norway this morning and isn't back until friday night so unless the weather is good later in the week for a buggy run I will be forced to rest up! MIL is a retired teacher but she is doing full time supply for our school at the moment (age 73!) Emily's teacher is off with a broken leg so she has her Grandma as teacher just now - must be strange for her. My parents are still away so no babysitter. 

    Thanks for the supportive comments after my race. I am still disappointed in a way but more than that is has just made me hungry for the next one as I know I can do better! I don't hink I could have done any better on that particular day the way things were but next time...

     Was just having a wee look at possible races for next year pre-marathon. Choice for me seems to be a half 5 weeks before the marathon or a 10 miler 6 weeks before. Would the half 5 weeks before be too close?

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