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DISCO Assessment
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It does seem as if you're piggy in the middle here with some political machinations in the school Minty. To quote my son it sounds like the HT and VCoG are "trying on each others knickers".
Walking away from it is not the same as saying its right. This is the 21st century for crying out loud, this sort of stuff shouldn't be going on. I hesitate to criticise the teaching profession
but the sort of scenario you are describing is repeated time and again. There really has to be a sea change. These aren't bug eyed axe wielding monsters we're talking about here, just kids who are wired up a bit differently. They make more effort with dysfuntional dogs in this country...
I am terrible. All I've worried about is the effect on everyone else. I haven't worried about the effect all of this has had on me and Little Mint. It didn't cross my mind about his basic human rights and disability discrimination, even when others spelt it out to me. It's only now I'm thinking 'hang on a minute' they're right.
Lies have been told. Why did the HT tell me the teacher was having a nervous breakdown when she was fine? What's the mentality behind that? I asked her and she said she had been exaggerating - but to what end? Was she trying to unhinge me? She knew how upset I was about everything. If she cared, wouldn't she be reassuring me, rather than lying to me?
When she pulled Little Mint (not physically but you know what I mean) into the room with the other teacher and told him he'd made her cry, it was disability discrimination, because by then I'd already discussed the Aspergers possibility with her and if she had the first clue about that she'd know that was wrong. I also have an email from her saying that Little Mint booed the vicar in assembly. Little Mint denied that and when I asked the vicar, he said 'no it wasn't Little Mint'. She's a scheming liar and I don't think she's finished utilising my plight to suit her yet.
I'm not sure what my next move will be, but when I make it, it will be in a calm, measured and rational way. Some people think I should turn up to governors' meetings as usual. I can't be bothered. What's the point when the trust has gone?
I'm sure that at the next governors' meeting she will say that I was hell bent on seeking revenge on her because I wasn't happy about how she handled Little Mint. That couldn't be further from the truth. If anyone were to read this thread they would be able to see, in date order, that yes, I was angry some of the time, but each time I came back down from that and acknowledged that she was making an effort. But was she? I still think I might be onto something in thinking she could be encouraging the bad feeling between Little Mint and the other teacher. I wouldn't put it past her. She's a bitch.
Spoke to another Aspergers mother tonight. Her son was in her class and she said it was awful and she kept telling her he was driving people to a nervous breakdown, when he wasn't. Is that really the way a head teacher should act?
I've forwarded all my emails to another governor just to prove that I wasn't always complaining. I could send them to all the governors but I think I'd rather they judged for themselves. At least 1 or 2 governors will defend my corner. If I've tried to influence them all, it will look bad on me. If I say 'oh, I can't be bothered, I've got better things to do', it will look bad on her (I hope).
I don't mean she's off the hook though. I shall still be speaking to the LA.
Education is rife this kind of crap. I'm not defending it in anyway, you know what I think. But I really see this as not worth the hassle and personal cost. He's got 4 weeks to go. Walk away. Say nothing, don't get led down the path of looking like a nutter. It will impact on your credibility later on.
Little Mint is going to get good provision in his new school so leave it alone.
You're right though. Perhaps it should be somebody stronger than me.
At least, with what's happened, the governors are now aware (the parent governors already were and were right behind me). They now have to choose where to go from here.
I did a lovely long post re what to do and it did not come up! grrr!
The long and the short of it is, you may have the full support of the CofG but when push comes to shove they will back the school and not you! I speak from exprience here ok!
This will take over your life and consume you, it will effect everything and you become so blikered sp?? with it that it's not healthy! some of the things that happened with mini scrum, had me in tears every day, my mother and myself spent best part of a year helping in the class room so that he was not excluded again!
The teacher used to march my son into the play ground, infront of the whole school informing me that he had nearly made me cry today, on one occasion she was so rude about my son infront of him the whole school waiting to collect their children, that I yelled at her, shall we inform the whole school you can't cut it as a teacher? or shall we take this inside to discuss like adults?! after that she took me seriously!!
Please email me, it may seem like they have won but they have not, just ensure mini mint is safe and get as much support for him at big school, meet the senco, take him on extra taster days, ensure you walk him around the school show him the school homework diary books etc and how many children go from class to class!
Mini scrum has now got a full time TA at school, I helped fund his laptop anything to keep him getting an education! I always remember the head master threatening me with, you know if he behaviour does not improve we will have to exclude him again. I smiled and said well I am sure the news papers would love to hear of this, make my day type of thing!! yes I said, children left outside of class rooms for hours on end! family sitting in class rooms because the school wont fund a full time TA for a child with complex needs! bring it on lol!! he never did go for the 4th exclusion funny that isnt it!
please contact the parent link-school support people, they are so good and can take alot of the worry away!!
I already feel loads better because I don't have to worry about what to do about all the other unhappy parents. I can now just concentrate on me and Little Mint.
Everything is lined up for my meeting with the SENCO, assistant head and head of house of his new school on Tuesday.
Tomorrow is assessment day.
The last few weeks of school, I hope, will be fun for Little Mint. He's got a couple of days away with them this week, cycling proficiency the following week (I bought him a brand new bike yesterday - he hasn't had one for a year after outgrowing the last one). The school play and my graduation are the week after. Then it will be time to leave. Woohoo!
Catching the bus is another thing long story but I told the funding lady if he could not get on the private coach I would be expecting a private taxi to get him as he is band B funded! it went very quite on the phone! I am learning that you need to be pretty thick skinned in person and cry at home! it's the best way!!
Good luck little mints and new bikes are great for keeping mums fit too lol!!
Stay strong, lady!
It's pouring with rain and the school are off on their away trip. :-(
I'll let you know what happens although I don't think anything conclusive will be said today.
Hope it all goes well for you and little Mint.
Remember to keep little Mint positive. Its about making sure he gets the support he needs.
Hope it's helpful.
Thinking of you.
Appointment is at 1.30.
Why do I feel so down?
I just rang another mother to make sure they got off okay. She feels down too. Perhaps it's just to do with sending kids off on their adventure trip. The weather isn't helping either. At least I've got electricity - she's not.
I can remember how I felt when a clinical psychologist assessed no. 1 little CC. I guessed what he was going to say before he said it and had felt sick all through.
From one who's been through it all - twice!!
In fact (((thread))) because it's been a critical support line for me on here. These things positively do your head in! It's good to know there are others going through the same.
Thank you so much for all the lovely support.
*Wonders how the DISCO assessment went*
*Leaves ((((())))) for Minty*
Blimey! It took hours. Four whole hours I was in there!!!!!
It's the first time I've felt I've been able to paint the whole picture. You can't do that in a half hour appointment with somebody. There's so much to take on board.
She said it will take her as long again to input the information on the computer. She said she didn't know but at a guess she would say he hasn't got full blown Aspergers but has Aspergers traits.
She commented that he's very mixed and a key thing I noticed was that even though he does do some of the stuff she was asking, she excluded it if it wasn't obsessive or if he seems to be conscious of his actions - e.g. so even though he makes strange noises, he is conscious that he's doing it and therefore it's not a problem - she was looking for involuntary noises.
Some things she was confused and didn't know how to score. She asked about clubs and I explained that he used to go to Beavers but I was glad to remove him when we moved house because I wasn't happy with the behaviour there. If you put Little Mint with badly behaved kids, he will match and exceed their bad behaviour. However, he goes along happily to his swimming club. I explained that it's a particularly good club because it is very inclusive and allows him to compete even though he will never win. So whilst she could have said he doesn't have a problem with an after school club, she acknowledged that that was only because it was a particularly good one and that left a question mark over the answer. That was the case with quite a lot of the answers.
She felt that the diagnosis will throw up strengths that we can expand on and weaknesses that we can intervene and work with. She said he would benefit from some help with socialisation which I wholeheartedly agree with.
All that was without the actual diagnosis though and so we will have to wait and see. She said it would take a while but didn't say how long.
Now I have to prepare myself for the meeting with his new school tomorrow. I asked Little Mint if there was anything he could think of that he might need help with. He asked me if he could have a map of the school and a timetable. I know he will want to learn the timetable off by heart - he really likes to know exactly what is going to happen and when. I was a bit surprised about the request for the map but understand it's not an unusual request so I shall ask for it. I'm going to ask for extra time for changing before and after PE and I'm going to ask them to decide for themselves whether he might benefit from a head start to get from one lesson to another.
Somebody, I think it was Scrummy, suggested that he goes to visit the school when it is in full swing so that he can witness for himself the throngs of children moving between lessons. That's a good idea.
He's got his induction day anyway on Thursday and maybe then he can decide whether he needs any extra days. They also run a summer school and so he will be there for a week in the first week of the holidays which is great for them because they can get to know the school properly whilst it's not crowded with the bigger kids.
Onwards.
and lots of positives out of the assessment too
big hugs to you both((())))
x
it fits in his top pocket
other kids ask him if they can't remember what they have next
:-)
wasn't my idea - the autism support bloke suggested it
i just made it, with help from boy2
There are degrees of Aspergers, and no one shows all the symptoms.
Well done on getting through this first stage.
Yes get mini mints on walk around the school with his map, get him to take you to toilets science blocks etc and stand with him in the hall when its crush time! eeek!my son did not like that brought him out in a sweat! but mini mint will have to have help going from class to class? ask about him being let out 5 mins before class ends? might help!
x x x you can always email me x x x x