I keep collapsing

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  • I know nothing (opening caveat) but I reckon anxiety is triggered either extrinsically or intrinsically and how you deal with it varies a bit depending on the cause.   Talking and other 'relaxing events' help me with extrinsic causes......they can help with intrinsic but if my chemistry was causing me to feel inappropriately anxious over events that normally I'd breeze through, then I suspect I'd opt for drugs.  I get occasional mild over anxiety, usually triggered by over committing myself/stressful life/hormones - in my case it's transient so I just whinge a lot and then it passes. Yours also seems time limited but if it's distressing you enough I would consider asking for some other drugs as well as using all the other relaxation techniques.

    Everything passes. The anxiety will pass  - hold onto that. 

  • Thanks for your kind thoughts and I'm 100% OK right now.

    "Everything passes. The anxiety will pass  - hold onto that." Logically this is correct and that the fact that today, Wednesday, I'm as happy as a lark confirms the temporary nature of this anxious phase,

    However, whilst going through the anxious phase, I am quite convinced that it will last for the rest of my life. Logic is on the floor and emotion rules!

    It's all quite interesting what the brain can get upto if fed the wrong things.

    Once again thanks for eveyone's help.

    imageimageimageimageimageimageimageimage

  • I know exactly what you're describing Douglas. It is odd how the brain plays tricks on you
  • SlugstaSlugsta ✭✭✭
    Yep - the times when we most need the rational brain is just the time when it's most likely to have gone AWOL.
  • Came down with a nasty bug which made me sick - image.  Never mind over it now. Have been waiting anxiously for side effects from single dose of white blood cell boosting injection - but pleased to say now day 11 and no major side effects. In fact less side effects than with course of 5 image . Hopefully can now have a "good" week for half-term. Just got trip to see oncologist and bloods on Thursday when hopefully they will be Ok - You cann't help but be a bit anxious they will not be good enough. Got to start to take large doses of steroids before next chemo. 2mg make me feel wired so not sure what 8mg doses will do??????????????

    Douglas - Going back a few postings re: wig. Although only women look reasonable in wigs men do have the advantage of potentially looking very good with a bald head or very short hair.image. Also in order to overcome my needle phobia I had hypnotherapy. Very, very relaxing and learnt some good ways of overcoming my anxiety about having chemo. 

    Oncologist also surprised about how "well" if thats the right word I am so far through chemo. It has been put down to my level of fitness before the big op and chemo. Running has definitely helped both physically and mentally image. Lifes good when you run image 

  • SlugstaSlugsta ✭✭✭
    Well done, Lorra!
  • Well done Lorra.

    I'm very pleased for you over the bone marrow jab.

    Good luck with your wired feeling. Personally I found it horrid. Valium made a small difference. I was anxious and dopey rather than anxious and pacing up and down. If I have another cycle. I'm going to ask for more Valium.

    I'm now in limbo until 2nd June, when I have the post-CT scan meeting with my oncologist.

  • hey Lorra,

    good to hear you are ok, and finding things that help, hypnotherapy sounds good. image

    running might sometimes feel like this...imageimage ......but the benefits as you have noticed are immense and then you feel like this.....image...image......image

    good luck all !

  • Just wanted to say a quick word here, I've been reading this thread and even coming on to specifically see progress etc, and your attitudes are amazing.  Good on you for staying so positive.  image Best of luck for your meeting on the 2nd Douglas.
  • I've been thinking quite a lot about what questions to ask on 2nd June?

    I've come to the conclusion that it's extremely unlikely that my oncologist will be able to give me the perfect answer.

    I suspect that the best that I can hope for is the absence of bad news.

    I'll ask questions such as:

    Is there a plan B?

    Assuming that there's no downside, can I have cycles 7 and 8 for luck?

    What are my chances of running the 2009 London marathon?

    He's already answered the last question positively, but it doesn't do any harm to ask again.

    Lung cancer is a speciality within a speciality and, in my experience of life, every layman's question about the actual disease can often lead to more uncertainty and yet more questions. You can easily end up chasing your own tail and still not getting the answer that you want to hear.

    The most powerful weapon that I have at the moment is acceptance of my condition and confidence in my oncologist. What will be will be. I have every confidence in my oncologist (he's a consultant at a centre of excellence in a city of excellence for cancer treatment) and I know that he will act in my best interest. Therefore getting worked up about the details of newer and better treatments is pointless. It's the oncologist's job rather than my job to worry about what treatment to give me.

    I am also extremely pleased that, at the time of writing, I'm in good health and busting to start some serious training. That's a pretty good place to be on 26th May 2008! imageimageimageimageimageimageimageimage

  • SlugstaSlugsta ✭✭✭
    Will be thinking of you on the 2nd.
  • Hi folks,

    I had my CT scan yesterday. It was no big deal, though I was nauseous for about 3 minutes afterwards. imageimageimage. I was drinking coffee and happy as a lark in a matter of minutes.imageimageimage My actual scan (lungs and throat) took less than 5 minutes.

    The radiographer will then compare the 600 images taken today with the previous sets of 600 images. He then reports his findings to the oncologist.

    I'm off to spend the weekend in Cornwall tomorrow with my step-daughter. We are being wafted in first class luxury by First Western. I am comforted by the knowledge that, if we are delayed by leaves on the line, we will be delayed in a state of opulence. imageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimage

    Thanks for your support,imageimageimageimage

  • SlugstaSlugsta ✭✭✭
    good idea to get away for the weekend, have a good one.
  • I hope you have a great weekend Douglas. I hope GWR don't let you down - if you do the stretch of line by the Exe estuary it's beautiful.

    Lorra - steroids affect people quite differently I think. There was someone else posting on Injury forum about being hyper and euphoric. I had to take 40mg steroids couple of years ago and vowed to never go on them again. I felt very low and the side effects (hamster appearance and weight gain) depressed me on top of that. (Vanity is such a curse.)  So I do understand how you feel about increasing your dose. But it didall go away and I returned to normal both physically and mentally image

  • SlugstaSlugsta ✭✭✭
    that's a matter of opinion, Mirs Pig! image
  • lol!

    You don't know what I was like before-this might be normal for me

  • SlugstaSlugsta ✭✭✭
    Ah - as we say about peeps from a neighbouring district 'NFP' (normal for Purbeck)!
  • SticklessStickless ✭✭✭

    Enjoy the weekend Douglas.

    Hello Lorra! 

  • Hi folks,

    I had a very good meeting with the oncologist.imageimageimageimageimageimage

    The tumours continue to shrink and the shrinkages have not plateaued.

    I am not out of the woods yet, but it looks promising.

    I'm having cycles 7 and 8 and then there'll be futher and better scans followed by a major review.

    I repeated my question about the London Marathon 2009 and his exact words were, "Your chances are reasonably good".

    He also advised that, once my treatment is finished, my lungs will be as good as they ever were with minimal to zero deterioration.

    Lung cancer survival statistics are pretty awful. Although it ain't over until the fat lady sings, I feel that I have a respectable chance of joining the miracle category.imageimageimageimageimageimageimage

    Thanks for your support folks.

  • Great news........  Keeping fingers crossed for you
  • magic!
  • Excellent, excellent, excellent!!!

     Also got all possible body parts crossed!

  • imageimageimage

    Good!

    London 2009 hey ?    

  • SlugstaSlugsta ✭✭✭

    great news!! image

  • Great news! I'm so pleased for you.  image
  • That's brilliant Douglas.  Much love J x
  • Yay! Great news Douglas, your attitude through all of this makes you a real inspiration to others. Best wishes from Carlisle!

    H x
  • Hey-ho and it's off to chemo I go.

    There'll still be the old white blood cell issues and, if I was a bookie, I wouldn't take any bets on my passing.

    S'funny, upto 2nd June, I've been sleeping like a babe. For the last few nights I've slept really badly. Very strange, but obviously not bothered.imageimageimageimageimageimageimageimage

    Keep well, folks.

  • Glad to hear it went welll on the 2nd, keep well Douglas we are all rooting for you, and those neutrophils!
  • Hi there,

    True to form I failed white blood cell count. So far I've failed everyone except for the very first!

    Anyway this time they allowed a four day gap to recover from the failed test rather than  seven days as before, and so I had my seventh double dose on Tuesday.

    This time the Valium didn't work as well. However it is only mental and so far I've avoided the dreaded nausea.

    The chemo drugs that I'm on (Carboplatin and Navelbine) have a half  life of around 35 hours so, at time of writing, I've got about 25% of the original chemo running around in my system.

    My next full body scan will take place in around mid-July. If this scan is good news, I assume that I go into remission and get scanned on a periodic basis. Even the really accurate scans only go down to a few tens of millions of cells and can't differentiate between dead, dying and live cancer cells.

    It's also strange that, despite my very positive meeting on 2nd June, I'm now feeling a bit low. I guess that there'll be quite a few roller-coaster moments even when, hopefully, the final all-clear is given.imageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimage

    My cousin, who I grew up with, gave up smoking 23 years ago. She got diagnosed with lung cancer in summer 2007. Unlike my symptoms, she had a tiny occasional cough that just wouldn't go away. Eventually she saw her doctor and the awful diagnosis was made. She is now riddled with secondries and the prognosis is dire. She wasn't even a heavy smoker. Her illness makes me very sad.

    Thanks for your thoughts, folks.

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