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I'm really not sure where to start ...
But perhaps at the beginning would help .. born desperately ill .. childhood mainly ill with brief 'well spells' .. early adulthood a mixture of illness, taking the wrong path (no running pun intended), and sorting out my life's mistakes .. early 30's divorced and in love with life for first time .. finally getting some fitness by learning how to run .. woweee isn't running wonderful
Then hit 40 ... and promptly invalided out of the work force with sudden onset Fibromyalgia Syndrome to go along with my lifetime Severe Regenerative Osteo-Arthritis and Chronic Asthma ..
So .. to cut a very long story short .. since 40 the weight has piled on .. the 'Fibro' plays havoc on a daily basis .. and I admit it .. I have buried my head in the sand for 15 long years .. 'can't exercise' because of the ensuing 'fibro' pain ... 'won't exercise' because I am too scared to because of the 'expected pain' .. and now totally embarrassed by the sight of my humungous body wobbling around ..
I really only joined Runners to see what 'new' equipment or clothing might give me a glimmer of hope .. but then I found this forum and spent ages reading some of the posts .. at first I was 'scared' it would be all 'super athletes' .. well honed .. gazillions of miles a week training .. and all running faster than light ..
But .. you are all 'real people' .. many with real problems .. many fighting weight and fitness issues .. and I cried ... real hot tears of long built up bitterness, years of frustration, self pity, anger and .. well .. I just had to say something ...
Even if no one was to reply .. you have all done far more for my lack of inner self confidence and low esteem than you will ever know .. more than any doctors, physios, carers or other such supposedly helpful people have managed over a lifetime ...
So .. I know it's down to me now .. even if I won't ever run a marathon (or more likely even want to) .. I can ... and WILL .. do something positive about my weight and fitness .. something every day .. no matter how small, short or easy the challenge .. I WILL do it every day .. sensibly and positively .. and hopefully build it up slowly .. because even walking for more than 100 metres without pain would be a result
So thank you .. thank you for all being here ... .. and I hope you won't mind if I pop back in from time to time to 'reinforce' the positive buzz I got from coming here today