Disabled and desperate

I'm really not sure where to start ...image

But perhaps at the beginning would help .. born desperately ill .. childhood mainly ill with brief 'well spells' .. early adulthood a mixture of illness, taking the wrong path (no running pun intended), and sorting out my life's mistakes .. early 30's divorced and in love with life for first time .. finally getting some fitness by learning how to run .. woweee isn't running wonderful image

 Then hit 40 ... and promptly invalided out of the work force with sudden onset Fibromyalgia Syndrome to go along with my lifetime Severe Regenerative Osteo-Arthritis and Chronic Asthma .. image

 So .. to cut a very long story short .. since 40 the weight has piled on .. the 'Fibro' plays havoc on a daily basis .. and I admit it .. I have buried my head in the sand for 15 long years .. 'can't exercise' because of the ensuing 'fibro' pain ... 'won't exercise' because I am too scared to because of the 'expected pain' .. and now totally embarrassed by the sight of my humungous body wobbling around ..

I really only joined Runners to see what 'new' equipment or clothing might give me a glimmer of hope .. but then I found this forum and spent ages reading some of the posts .. at first I was 'scared' it would be all 'super athletes' .. well honed .. gazillions of miles a week training .. and all running faster than light ..

 But .. you are all 'real people' .. many with real problems .. many fighting weight and fitness issues .. and I cried ... real hot tears of long built up bitterness, years of frustration, self pity, anger and .. well .. I just had to say something ...

 Even if no one was to reply .. you have all done far more for my lack of inner self confidence and low esteem than you will ever know .. more than any doctors, physios, carers or other such supposedly helpful people have managed over a lifetime ...

So .. I know it's down to me now .. even if I won't ever run a marathon (or more likely even want to) .. I can ... and WILL .. do something positive about my weight and fitness .. something every day .. no matter how small, short or easy the challenge .. I WILL do it every day .. sensibly and positively .. and hopefully build it up slowly .. because even walking for more than 100 metres without pain would be a result image

So thank you .. thank you for all being here ... image .. and I hope you won't mind if I pop back in from time to time to 'reinforce' the positive buzz I got from coming here today image



  • Jan - good luck, and don't be too sure about that marathon! image
    If you think you can or you think you can't you're probably right.
  • (((((Jan))))))
  • Jan - it's a long road to being fit and healthy, but you've made the first important step.  Believe me, it does get easier.

    PS - I always said I'd never run a marathon, I'm now in training for my first!!!

  • Jan,

    An excellent first post, and hopefully many more to come. I'm sure you will gain further from the forum, and I hope the positive attitude you're displaying will be contagious image

  • Hey Jan, glad to hear you've been inspired by the forum.

    There are indeed all sorts of people knocking around in here. We've all had different life experiences and as runners we are all different too, from the super fast to the slow plodders  - I belong to the second group!

    If there's a question you need to ask or a problem you need solving - on just about any subject you can think of  - someone here will be able to offer advice.  

    Get yourself a nickname (much better for confidentiality) and come back as often as you like.

    Hope your health improves soon, and good luck image

  • Hi Jan,

    You've made the first step already and that's always the hardest.  You know you don't have to run marathons to be a runner, for some it's like a marathon just going round the block, it certainly was for me the first time as I'm asthmatic too.

    Keep us updated on your progress and if you have any problems, running or otherwise, there's always somebody around on the forum to offer help.

  • Jan...dont know anything about some of the illnesses you mention, but it sounds as though you have the will to exercise and do something about the situation you are in. I think this is one of the most important things....you have to WANT to be active etc.

    Simply getting out and doing a little walking every day could be a good start....or even joining a gym could help...as there will be machines that you can use that wont put ANY stress on your joints, but allow the cardio to be done adn therefore work on reducing your weight.

    Gyms will be the same as here....normal folk....some super fit fast types, others just starting out....some posers....just like the real world. Gym I goto has all shapes and sizes, and I dont think anyone pays any real attention to anyone, so that initial insecurity will soon go.....I felt as though everyone was looking at me when I 1st went!....then you realise theyre not!

    Good luck, and seek help or inspiration from whereever.

  • Screamapillar said ... "Get yourself a nickname (much better for confidentiality) and come back as often as you like."

     I used one .. 'patootie' .. but for some reason my first post came up with my real name .. image it's on top of this post right enough .. so maybe I was just too fast to post for it all to get technically sorted properly .. I wrote my message while waiting for the authenticate forum membership to come through image and posted the instant I had clicked to join .. utterly silly .. all my fault ..

    Still never mind .. I have nothing to hide .. and that mistake might just make me even more determined to 'do what I said I'll do' .. hehehe ... can't hide behind a nickname now can I ..

    Nick L .. gyms are few and far between here in the depths of the Cambridgshire Fens (just fields to horizon, no social life, no men) .. and unfortunately the miserly disability benefits I receive simply wouldn't stretch to paying to join either .. and errr .. well .. my fitness level is 'knackered' just getting to my car .. never mind going out .. Fibro is a pretty nasty syndrome .. total fatigue daily, far too much muscle based pain daily .. and a crazy assortment of over 60 symptoms that 'stuff you up' both mentally and physically ..

    Thank you everyone .. I am truly bowled over by your instant and most friendly welcome .. image

    Just done the most important first steps .. weighed myself image .. measured myself image .. and took a good look in my food cupboards .. image

  • Good start Patootie!

  • Yeah go Patootie!
  • patootie - Welcome! and Good Luck with your new lifestyle! image

    I don't know anything about Fibro, but hopefully you can manage a short walk?

    How about that 100m you were talking about? 50m?

    start small, take it easy and build it up over time - it really works!

  • ...ok Patootie......

    I guess then you will have to make simple lifestyle changes to bring about the benefits that you want...and it sounds as though you are going about things the right way.

    little steps at first...they will make a difference....just have to be stubborn and stick at them!

  • Swimming....could offer guidance on adult clubs?

    Cambridge PHAB Club (Physical Disabled and Able Bodied)

    Hester Adrian Centre, 23 Sedgwick Street, Cambridgeshire, CB1 3AJ

    Telephone: 01223 240163

    The PHAB Club provides opportunities for physically disabled and able bodied people to meet together on equal terms.

    More links on groups?

    Old BBC Link...may help?

  • patootie...you'll get to where ever you want to be...and if you stick with RW you'll probs have a great time along the way...it's been a massive help to me, especially as I've just moved away from the majority of my friends...RW is a constant, familiar and friendly place to be!

    just a thought...but would your gp be able to refer you to a fitness scheme? I know some local hospitals or leisure centres do referall programmes...where I guess they would be better placed to understand support you in your training with the various medical elements to consider?

    not quite the same but my mum has just finished treatment for breat cancer and so is looking to lose all the weight she put on through chemo etc...she's benefited from having the support of a gym who are pretty clued up on what she can/can't...should/shouldn't do (we have a fairly big/new cancer unit in town who i think have done work with the gym)

  • Welcome Patootie and all the best, you've made a great start image
  • Hi patootie and welcome to the forums !

    Sounds like you've had and are still having a rough time of it so I admire your positive attitude. As the others said, take things very slowly and don't expect too much of yourself at the start. Remember that old saying "From little acorns mighty oak trees grow" so easy does it and you'll get to where you want to be image

  • Nick L wrote (see)

    Cambridge PHAB Club (Physical Disabled and Able Bodied)

    Hester Adrian Centre, 23 Sedgwick Street, Cambridgeshire, CB1 3AJ

    Telephone: 01223 240163

    image I'm truly amazed .. I've lived here 23 years .. been plaguing my docs, the hospital, physios and my occupational therapists for just such a place for 10 years or more .. and not once has anyone so much as mentioned these folks .. they aren't in my local disability 90 page booklet of societies etc that help the disabled, aged etc  ..  even the local council Access forum hasn't heard of them .. they must be one of the best kept secrets of all time ..

     Thank you so very much .. I shall check them out in the New Year image

  • Welcome Patootie and good luck with the changes you are making. The forum is great, lost of friendly people to give advice and support and just have fun with! Warning: may be addictiveimage
  • lots evenimage
  • If you want to you will

    Its that simple

    Plenty of advice and encouragement on here

    Good luck


  • I know it may not seem much .. but today I went out .. admittedly on my disability scooter .. but nonetheless that is a lot more 'action' than just sitting in a chair staring at my computer screen ..

     The village centre is only 1/4 mile away .. but this morning as it was such a lovely morning .. I suddenly felt inspired and drove to the next village a mile away to post my letter .. so I've had a 'miles worth' of fresh air .. a 'miles worth' of using my upper body to balance on the scooter and all the way back I did nice deep breathing exercises to get my blood nicely oxygenated ... and as much as I could shuffled my feet up and down as if walking ..

     As I say .. it may not mean much to most of you .. but for me that was a 'major' workout .. and it felt GOOD ... but now I am exhausted image

     If anyone is in the slightest interested there is a list of the 63 most common Fibromyalgia Syndrome Symptoms listed here  .... generally we get a selection of 1 to 6-7 of the symptoms on any day .. you never know which symptom/s you will wake up with .. and for how long you'll have it .. but you can be sure it will be something ...


  • Good for you

    keep it up patootie

  • Go for it, and when it gets tough... and it will... re-read your messages of support and let them drive you forward, we're all rooting for you!

    Good luck

  • hey patootie keep it up.  i used to run in the fens and got to love it.  being able to see forever.  was a bit daunting at first, "christ, i've got to run down this stright road that i can't even see to the end of, but once you get used to it, it's very liberating.

     most of all,  enjoy what you're doing.  90% of the population can't do what you do FULL STOP, ie resolve to get some exercise, and get off the sofa.  add to that the problems you have to overcome, and you're doing great.

  • They say the even the longest journey begins with a single step............... you 've just taken your first (and biggest ) step.  That's a huge achievement, so feel proud you've started on your journey.  Whatever you believe you can do, you will.
  • image What a wonderful bunch of folks I've found ... image
  • RW at its best

    dont go away


  • debbodebbo ✭✭✭
    Patootie - my sister has fibromyalgia too, and she reckons that running really helps her pain.  Hopefully it'll be the same for you?
  • That's great news Patootie!

    As YvonneM says, every journey begins with a single step image

Sign In or Register to comment.