Mick n Phil's daily blog

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  • 9:05pm, Monday 14th January 2008 comment on this entry | edit | delete Another hectic day !
    it's been a rather hectic day today, but having said that Mondays for some perculiarly strange reason always are !

    Though this Monday is the monday of the month when all medication and incontinent wear is ordered, and there is a lot of it, to order and later in week to receive and check off very carefully,

    Then today, i had housing officers come to give me news of advanced disability housing adaption needs, which again was a bit of a shock to my system... my wife is nearly packed to go to hospital

    Phillip's been to Disabled day centre, he's laughing as always, he's had a normal day pretty much for him, but he's happy and content, he's now fast oh in bed

    As for me, today just was'nt helped by my sleepless night last night, but i just carry on and keep things in positive perspective that's all

    i cannot wait this Sunday's race now, we are due at Folkesworth 15, then straight to Coventry hospital

    well folkes ... happy evening and happy running to you all !!
  • Mick

    I am glad to have found this, as I don't do Fetch. This thread is your thread. Use it how you will. If life has been mundane, say so. If the most exciting thing in the day was toast, that's fine. We are here and will listen. We aim to support you any way we can. You are our mate. You are free to let on just as much as you wish, you have ultimate control.

    Are the visitors here voyeurs? Peeping Toms? I don't know, windows are for looking through in 2 directions.

    For me, being a Nosey Parker is about trying to be a good neighbour. Mick you are a proud man, and there's nothing wrong with that, but if there's anything that we can do to help or assist? Don't ask, but hint. We'll pull round.

  • Well put Blisters, I'll second that. I do love Fetch but have to admit I can't get into the forum like I love RW!!!

  • 1:14pm, Tuesday 15th January 2008 comment on this entry | edit | delete could simply cry
    Hi all
    i do hope you are all ok, and your training is well, it's nice when you have been training, regardless of how it's gone, just as long as you've done it

    I've been to and fro work, letter box distribution , door to door since 6 am, i have finished now, Phillip's at day centre,
    My wife, she's lying down most of today, completely exhausted, she'll probably go to evening college tonight for 2 hours, mainly just to see people , it's a class of adults, who all have learning problems, who all have problems in life, some are disabled, but they feel safe in this class together ...

    Me, well, i'm just clinging tearfully on, i really so badly want to just scream, and sream, and scream, i ache mentally, i feel in utter despair,
    the only things i have on a day like this ... are my health, my fitness, and my dignity

    i know tomorrow etc will bring another day, it's at a time like this, when i know i have my running, and that diary of races planned, what 50 of them for 2008, that keeps my raging insanity at bay

    i did sleep much better last night i admit, but the last thing i want is to go back on sleeping tablets,

    i do sometimes wonder if there is a way out of all this, running is a controller, but there's sadly NO cure

    i go for days and days feeling real good, then all of a sudden , it does'nt always take much, i just go into this deep deep , state of depression

  • ((mick)) have a scream into a cushion if you want.  or give a cushion a good thump!

    i have found with my depression i can go for weeks having great days and then it can only take one minor comment from someone that sends me down for days.

    i hope mrs mick gets on ok at the hospital.  i look forward to seeing you and phil at a race sometime this year.

  • 8:15pm, Tuesday 15th January 2008 comment on this entry | edit | delete a little better
    How de all you fabulas supporting people you

    i feel much better tonight thanks to all of you..i've been feeling quite stressed

    Not much to report really, well, there is , but i really just don't feel like reporting much

    so, i'll survive to see another day

    i do often wonder just how i made it this far in life !!!!

    it's fun listening to all of you
  • Hi Mick i have only entered 1 race so far a local 5 miler but i am really looking forward to the run.Also raising a bit for heart charity, Keep on running.
  • 10:30pm, Tuesday 15th January 2008 comment on this entry | edit | delete I'm in charge & PROUD
    I have to say it myself, i suppose

    My question has always been to myself....

    just how the hell have i pulled me and my family through all this strife

    we have come one way or another through everything that a lot of people have thrown at us

    PLUS, i've managed proudly and successfully, to push Phillip in all weathers around 25 tough Full marathons, and 159 half marathons, and many other races , and some of them have been the toughest that there are....where the HILLS have been HILLS

    if i can get me and Phil through the hottest and coldest 26.2 mile hilly races , then why should i look down on myself ahh !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    so, i don't think i'm ready to give in quite yet, i've never moaned when a race has gone wrong, or the going has got tough, when it's been a 2 or 3 lapper, and i could have easily have pulled out, or just sunk to my knees

    I should feel damned PROUD of myself ... I'm touching almost 50 years of age
  • And you don't look a day over (insert own number here).

    I don't know about your inner drivers Mick, but I'm a project focussed person. I think that a lot of runners are. There is some longer range target, be it FLM, Draycote, Abingdon, or whatever, and a build up to get there. Each week is then comprised of little steps along the way. My wife has her own targets, mostly focussed upon spending money. Again, little steps make up the big pathway.

    Do you have a long range goal at the moment?

  • 9:31am, Wednesday 16th January 2008 comment on this entry | edit | delete ok - ish
    Hi gang

    I'm a bit better today

    i'm going to have a quiet day , i ain't doing hardly a thing

    hopfully wife will go to hospital later
  • you should feel proud of yourself mick.  and phil and mrs mick (who i hope gets her hospital bed today.)
  • MadameOMadameO ✭✭✭

    Hey Mick, inspiring reading from you as always. Hugs for you, Philip and Mrs. Mick (((o)))

    RW - When are you gonna do an article on these guys???

  • 1:18pm, Wednesday 16th January 2008 comment on this entry | edit | delete What gimmick in 2008 FLM
    i do wonder this year just what gimmick will be in FLM 2008

    last year it was the Boulder being pulled

    they could so easily let me and Phil at back take part

    it would be the greatest 50th birthday possible

    but it's like FLM chief said " There are as worthy than us if not more worthy ", so, just what do i have to do to be that more worthy

    they have DESTROYED us and our dream
  • a resounding BOOOOO from tweety to mr david bedford.

    big hugs to you mick (& phil & mrs mick)

    i thought of you last night; my beloved luton town football club lost to liverpool last night but they live to fight another day.  luton mara 06 was where i met you and phil.  a memorable day

  • FLM
    Not everyone i grant that...

    but if you ask MOST runners joggers etc.. even people outside the running world, they would just LOVE to run the FLM ... for people that want to experience it.. it's the BIGGEST carnival in the world

    ALL, ( well nearly all ) can apply, albeit it has to go by ballot, but they can apply .. so at least they do have a chance , where as ...

    Phillip no matter how many times he wants to, he need never try and apply .. for without myself ( Dad ), or some one like's of me

    people and i say myself ..GOOD LUCK to them, we wish them well, they get a place in London marathon, some have NO idea what so ever, about running, about the distance, and what it takes to be ready to skillfully comfortably manage it, and then week after week after it be on the start line of other races...

    we are not on start lines once a year , even twice a year, we get about 43 weeks a year to compete, and in that time we can notch up 55 races, we have dedicated our lives to it all

    regardless of weather, course profile, meaning hills what ever, regardless of travel, we have sacrifised everything for our treasured sport

    But the very people who should have stood by us, have LET US DOWN,

    FLM chief's , they know us, they know our capability,

    Everyone or most people in life have a dream .. this was our dream ,

    THIS WAS OUR DREAM

    Me being GUTTED, just is NOT the word

    i 'm afraid, we are back to this time of year ...FLM nears

    Mick n Phil will not be part of it

    unless of course i decide early on the day to go and jump in at the back, UNLIKE hundreds, maybe thousands, will need all their preperation to see them through , i could decide at the click of my finger

    if i WAS to do that, and they boldy decided to try and pull me out, well, it could be the biggest mistake of their lives

    people ask me, in life with things , just how far i'm prepared to go.. .well, i'll tell you all shall i

    it may not mean a lot to some.. but as long as my Phillip is taken care of .. i would be preared to even risk all

    Running is our life ???????????
  • 1:58pm, Wednesday 16th January 2008 comment on this entry | edit | delete Free to speak ahh !
    Fetch and RW people say i'm free to pour out my soul and speak my feelings

    I'll give you all an idea of how it would go, how my physical stamina , and mental stamina lies ahh

    my body and mind is so transfixed and trained and keyed to what we do

    there are runners joggers out there, who just love doing what they do, just like we do

    Unless of course anything unforseen, like sickness or unwell, fair enough

    BUT, if FLM chiefs, contacted a lot of people say just 48 hours for example before hand, and said , can you get here to run the marathon, .. what would be thier reply i wonder... yes, i 'm ready / no, i'm sorry it's just not on now, too short notice ??

    it's not 13 miles it's 26.2, it could be HOT, a thirsty mental games marathon job

    if they contacted us, 48 just hours before, with the BIG question, we'd be there and kick arse i can tell you

    I have a big decision to make shortly

    HOW FAR WILL I GO ??
  • Who gets to race with Phil if you're serving time for belting someone, Mick?
  • No one Stump

    it's that simple

    i won't be around one day to fend for him !!

     I'll be passed on far to long to worry about any of this

     i know a lot of people won't agree with me, i live with that !

  • 2:12pm, Wednesday 16th January 2008 comment on this entry | edit | delete my actions
    i really do hope that you all will always see me as caring old man Mick,
    as l love my family so very dearly

    as people outside of my life, i NEVER bother in any way !!

    i just hope you never see my other side, as it would be sad to think

    well " i thought we knew Mick " , i would never have thought he could be like that !

    as i'm afraid, if they push me, you may just see it !

    fascinating ahh !!!!!

    I'll give you an idea of what local Authority idiots i deal with shall i ....

    i phoned this moring, ( for a friend ) to the local specialist Adult disabilty team and asked.. who please deals with RADAR keys now-a-days

    there reply was, " what's a radar key " ?

    it's a special key that lets you into to disabled public toilets etc
    1
  • 7:23pm, Wednesday 16th January 2008 comment on this entry | edit | delete please excuse me !
    i do hope you'll excuse my rant and rave earlier

    i have been feeling hot, bothered and angry today

    and i just do not see why because the way Phillip is that we always have to accept 2nd best
  • Micknphil

    Finally met you at Bedford.

    If there were lots of micknphils at FLM all running together......

    but only one of them was real. the rest were decoys.....

    now that would be fab, I'd give up a place for that. Maybe the real McCoy would get to finish.

    Tis a bit Rum, I must admit, it's not like you are first timers..... 

  • 11:51am, Thursday 17th January 2008 comment on this entry | edit | delete ok
    Today...

    Ok so far !!!!!!
  • 11:24am, Friday 18th January 2008 comment on this entry | edit | delete Good up to now
    Today is pretty good up to now, I slept solid, which is unusual considering my wife's away

    I'm pottering really, i've been to work and i'll be just doing bits of shopping later, getting ready for Phillip to arrive home at about 4 pm

    soon as he comes home, i'm resting, switching myself off to worky jobs,

    hoping you are all ok
  • 5:15pm, Friday 18th January 2008 comment on this entry | edit | delete Could really go into depth
    hi all,

    i could really if i wanted to go into depth with my blogs, deep into my my life's history, deep into the visions of how we overcome disability and mental health

    but i do suspect that to be fair to all of you, that it would bore you all

    or, would it, i mean lets face it, many of you run for charities don't you ahh ..

    And many of the charity users live just like us , and these are some of the people that your money fund raised money goes to help

  • SlugstaSlugsta ✭✭✭

    Hi Mick, have only just seen your thread. Was thinking just recently that we'd not heard from you for a while. I'm afraid I don't do 'fetch' so it's great to be able to catch up with your exploits on RW. Use this thread as you like - those who matter understand, and those who don't understand don't matter.

    Sounds as if things have been particularly rough for you again recently. Blisters is right, you know - if there's anything practical that any of us can do to help, then just drop a hint and we'll be there fo you.

    I just don't know what it will take to get DB to see sense. When he says there are people 'more worthy', he's talking through his backside, there just might be someone out there who deserves this as much as you, but I'm sure there's no-one who deserves it more. We can only keep making a noise in the hope that eventually someone will have to listen.

    Meanwhile, ((( )) for you, Phil and Dawn.

    xxx

  • Hi Slugs

    So many thanks for your kindness

    But just to say.. FLM chiefs, they don't bother me you know, just cos i don't always do or do straight away what i threaten to do

    London is a fair way from me, and i have far more important things in life to concentrate my mind on than those people

    all i do say is really,

    If i decide on the day to attempt jumping in, and they attempt to stop me

    then so be it at their own risk  ... i don't back off lightly

    my wife often says to me.. Mick you talk lots of hot air etc, but NO action ...but i have to be pushed far enought to act, .... if it were 20 years ago , when i was almost 30, then it may have been different, but i think i've mellowed a little

    i took on Warwickshire County Council SSD, in 2002, and gave them what for in County hall's public county meeting

    That was essential to win our help , but this is just sport, it ain't the end of the world

    if a boiling hot hilly or fezzing cold hilly marathon don't frighten me , then well ????

    Now, if FLM was the ONLY marathon out there, or the only race in the year ..WOW, things would be different, believe me

    i have a lot on my mind, not just now ,but at most times, and i really have to prioritise things

    But i AM greatly inspired by all of you

  • 10:28am, Saturday 19th January 2008 comment on this entry | edit | delete just another day
    The big debate for me now, do i go 80 miles as was originally planned to do the tough 2 lap Folkesworth 15

    or stay here in Stratford and run our local Not the roman 9.. 12k.. i'd probably do two laps, one before hand as last year in 1.15, and one with race ,1.12
    least it'll make things much easier for afterwards

    to be honest i DON't feel like the drive !!
  • Hi Micknphil, not had the pleasure before but can I just say that I love this thread. It's a wondeful tonic - makes me realise how inconsequential my stresses are, what is important in life, and what courage and strength really is.

    I can't believe FLM - I can understand that there are other important people - but I can't understand how they can't support someone who PUTS BACK into the running community as much as you do. I'm sure there will be some 2bit 'celebrity' given a place whose only doing it to try and get some exposure. image

    Maybe i'll be priviliged enough to meet you guys one day. Anyway - hope you have a good day - and enjoy whatever you race you choose.

  • Simon

    thanks kindly

    i've re-  structured my life, it really works well and suits me, i don't do just any old thing anymore , i have to just sit or stand back for a moment or a while and just think or contemplate what i'm doing or about to do 

    from the inner depths of mental suicide, i feel as much as possible most days at the top of my ladder, i use my own mental structure of discipline,

    my basic  thing is when i have a real bad day is simply stay away from people, don't go to supermarket or were i could bump into crowds

    i'm not bored, i'm happily busy ,i keep myself proudly in fine shape, a disciplined shape i could of only of dreamed of some years ago, when my Phillip was so ill

    And lets face it... NO- ONE makes us do all this keep fit do they, we do it as we choose to do it, they are the ones out there missing out on supreme physical and mental stamina

    Question and point is.. i have it , do they ?? i find it very simple keeping my body finely tuned, and i don't now-a-days find much time to train in the week either, it's look at diary months ahead, just pick our races, book them and think nothing more about them until the starter gun goes off

    what was so difficult at one point in 1999 was when

    in the end, even my dear old mum turned against me, before she died, but i'd gone past caring by then, she never forgave me for showing my oldest son the door cos he was into heroin and crime, as she knew i had zero tolerance on the subject, i said to him you could live here with simple basic house rules , or go out there and possible die on the street, the choice is yours .. he's now 32 in 4 weeks time, with 2 children ....

    he's made his mother life hell 

    my concern and my duty was my wife and my son, and it remains that to this very day

    some people  may think,i'm sad, cruel, what ever, they  are all entitled to their  opinion, i can live with what people think, as matter of fact i just don't give a toss much,  but i have to carry what - ever 24. 7 . 365...

    My sons illness and disability , and my wife's detiorating health has changed my whole life

    i was for many years a broken man, how the hell in those days before taking Phillip with me, i could still pick a Hm and run in around 1.25 - 30 on little training i don't know,

    well, i did'nt know then, i do know now !!

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