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DJ/entertainer in village hall OR a bouncy castle.
25 to 30 kids was the normal protocol in Reception year. I think that was the dearest one. Further years will necessitate reducing numbers as the kids get more adventurous and will have seen all the local entertainers.
The local hall idea is good, because the cost equates to having the carpets cleaned. Believe me, red jelly stains take 12 months to come out of the carpet, even being cleaned professionally twice.
Pro DJ / Entertainer = worth the cash. Having tried to keep a class full of e-fuelled kids under a semblence of control it's worth the petrol money. All they want to do at that age is act like drunken morons (or is that the wrong way round). When they are 6 then you can do Proper Party Games for a select number of actual friends.
We always make the cakes and decorate them. One for the kids (they never, ever, ever, eat it) and one for the parents who can't let little Joanne out of their sights. Vic sponge with buttercream/jam for kids, sickly icing top. And for the parents a gooey chocolate one.
Party bags: The little b'stds expect a party bag. Play it canny. Build your own. Buy multiple packs of things- plain napkins, balloons, shiny pencils, scribble pads, furry marketing gimmicks, soapy bubbles, erasers, chocolate buttons, sugar lolly sticks. Most goes in the bin. After a while you'll collect a load of rubbish in a drawer for sending back to other people's.
My favourite parties have been those since the age of 5, when a bit of order was restored, due to reduced numbers. eg
-at home, trad party games for 8. A rare treat for the kidlets used to the type of party we've discussed.
-er- now eldest is 12- they went swimming and I prepared pizzas at home. Then they danced.
-talk again, as my smallest is 8 in 10 days time.
But I've got 2 girls.
DoT you just expressed exactly what my first thought was...
Basically I think you're expected to fork out masses to make her look popular to other parents, when your lad but be equally happy with something much less extravagant. And I think the blackmail of "pay this much or don't bother turning up" quite frankly stinks!
AS others have said. only you can know what is going to be best in your situation
But I think doing something nice with him when you are together is a lovely idea - whether thats just him, him and sister, him and sister and one or 2 friends - doing something he will enjoy - whether thats games and a picnic in the park, or a trip to the cinema or whatever. Kids remember things like that.
One of the best games?
Pin the tail on the donkey.
I painted a donkey on a large piece of card, cut out a tail from fabric and stole a pin from the notice board.
That donkey is still going strong.
I took my lad to the SVR when he was 4 - he was beside himself with excitement - it were great.
And I saw a giraffe - a real one!
Yes I know JB - went for a double day out last year with the kids. Steam trains in the morning - packed lunch overlooking the river, then back to Kidermisnster and straight to the Safari park for a half day ticket (gets you in free for a full day within the next 12 months.)
Only trouble is I've lost the "repeat" ticket for the safari park!
That many kids?
Team games.
Line up two teams.
Kid 1 gets a sausage balloon, held between knees. Turns and passes to next kid without touching it, who has to take it between the knees. Etc down the line. Last kid hops to front while still holding it twixt knees. (Variants available for 16 year olds when group is mixed).
Good one. Do2
Don't forget to prompt him with some pet suggestions.
Oo I did a double post - what's goin on?
Anyroad parties which are based around keeping up with the Joneses are way too stressful and a bit superficial. He'd be much better off with his 3 best mates down the swimming pool then cook up a pizza with some pop and a good dvd.
Refresh error JB
Blisters - not sure if there are any races on in May, but do you think the suggestion of "watching daddy run another race" would go down well???
Sorry to hear about the demands being placed on you DoT, does sound mighty unfair.
I've done all sorts from home parties to local sports centres gym parties (£50 for 24 kids: 1 hrs supervised gym play and 1hr room, you provide the food - v good value) finally sold out to local 'playgym' type place, but that is £8 a head round here, minimum 10 I think. Didn't invite all of reception this year to littlest party and he's still got loads of friends, not getting invited to many parties though. Daughter was 7 this year and took a few best friends to the cinema. Recently another little girl who is supposed to be her friend, but wasn't one of the 'best friends' who came to the cinema made a big point of handing out invites in the playground before school to all the other girls in the class except my daughter. I used to get upset by it, but now I've learned I've just got to do what's right for my kids and let them invite their friends (although with reception that does change from day to day!!).
Birthdays do get expensive though, I think the cinema trip (once adding in me & Mr DG and 2 brothers), with pop corn, McDonalds etc) cost nearly as much as a proper party!
DG
Kids can be cruel eh? Does make me wonder how much of it they "learn" from their parents though.
Daughter was 7 this year and took a few best friends to the cinema. Recently another little girl who is supposed to be her friend, but wasn't one of the 'best friends' who came to the cinema made a big point of handing out invites in the playground before school to all the other girls in the class except my daughter.
Jesus... you got to ask yourself where they learn such manipulative behaviour from and why it wasn't discouraged by the parent???
After that its more like three or four pals and a trip to cinema or something.
DoT it does seem like emotional blackmail saying you can't come unless you pay half and yet your views aren't taken into consideration. And like others have said a bouncy castle and a disco is quiet extravagant. I had a just bouncy castle in a hall for my son's 4th and it kept them entertained for 2 hours, admittedly there were games too.
If your ex really won't listen to your thoughts about this and you decide not to go, I think your idea about doing something special for him on his actual birthday is a good one. And I'm sure that whatever you do together with him he'll love it. He won't be that interested in you at the party anyway, not with friends, cake and pressie's competing for attention.
I agree with kk.
You really don't need to spend much at all. All they need is a cake, candles, nibble food, balloons and some games. Sorted. They are plenty of web sites that will give you ideas of things you can make for virtually nothing that will keep the kids fed and entertained for an hour or so...
I do think you need to invite the whole class though. They may not all come, but children of that age can get upset if some kids are invited and others are left out.
Another option is to have a joint party with another child who has a birthday close to the same day. We are doing this for my daughter who will be 6 in May. Total cost will be about £85 for 18 children. I think that is quite reasonable.
31 children in a primary school class..??? No way...!? That is awful...