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Heather Mills Mccartney
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Hello I do not know much about the Mills-Mccartney case but I wanted to say something about this. I am a soon to be ex wife of a rich man. I had my own career before, first in charge of a four star hotel in Oslo, then as a commercial archivist, but I moved country twice to follow him in his business ventures, I left my own well paid job, and, with the hours he was 'working' it was difficult for me to work. I gave him full support for over 10 years. I have always been faithful to our marriage and he had 'another lady' for 7 years. Not every wife of a rich man is a hopless bimbo. I am working at the moment because I like working but this does not mean that my ex-husband can escape his reponsibilities regards his daughters.
What do you consider those responsibiliites to be, Mabelle?
Do you think that the responsibilities of a father would different if he earned only a modest salary?
Take the children out of the equation.
You are earning £20k a year, OH is earning £1 mil.
You have done noting to help him achive that wage earning. You split up, do you expect to be kept on £500k a year after? or even 200k? Some call it winning the lotto.
I ask because Ms Mills seemed to think that £500,000 year was needed for holidays (presumably for her and their daughter), and £30,000 for a nanny.
That seems excessive to me - and given that Ms Mills has claimed she cannot work any more due to the bad press she's had, why does she need a nanny, for instance?
Is there an assumption that once you've enjoyed a certain lifestyle you (and your children) should be able to continue living at that level at someone else's expense?
What would the wives of rich men do if their businesses went bust and there was no more money?
I just can't get my head around being reliant on someone else for everything!
sorry wilkie that was for Try.
The point I was trying to make is that some of us really had big loss of earnings to support our husband's successful ventures and that needs to be taken into account.
Mills lied about her property, her bank balance and god knows what else to persuade the judge that she was immensely rich before the wedding. But with no papers to back that up. She's a deluded loony !
I think I'd be very reluctant to give up my independence, even if I married a rich man (which is rather unlikely!)
Call me a cynical old baggage, but very few marriages last (I speak from experience), and you should be prepared to take care of yourself, and any dependents you may have, in the event it all goes wrong.
If you bought an expensive racehorse that needed food, stabling and training...... and you're committed for life....on divorce you'd both remain responsible for any costs encurred ? So it should be with children except it's more complex because both parents don't get same access to those children. If it were the horse and one partner prevented the other having access they wouldn't be expected to pay ?
I agree that some women remove themselves from financial responsibility on marriage/when having a family and what's more some men WISH them to...... the courts should address this issue (pre nups or contracts) rather than assuming we're all dependent and helpless
It's surely unhelpful to couples and children to focus on financial wranglings rather than on moving on?
I have been married, twice. Both times I've sorted myself out and moved on with my life without expecting financial support from my ex-husbands (or they from me!).
I agree, Mrs P, that having children should be a lifelong commitment for both parents, but what should be and what actually happens are often two different things, and one should be prepared for that.
Divorce aside, what are you going to do if one party gets run over by a bus and the life insurance premiums haven't been paid? You've got to be able to take care of yourself.
For me... is really difficult to move on when I have left my much loved job, left my much loved country and spent over 10 years supporting someone else's career and you have nothing to show for it.... I did it for love and going back I would do it again, but it does hurt. At present I have a well paid job and a new boyfriend so I am definitely on the up, but the feeling of having been squeezed dry is still there.
To give you a bit of background, my husband left me for the first time when our first child was less than 1 year old. At the time i was so out of it that I moved back to my parents' im Poland. The idea of divorcing did not even enter my head then. i am catholic and marriage is for life for me. It took me another affair (his), 8 years and taking up running to find the confidence to divorce.
There isn't only one truth and we all have our sufferings. I have done my best and do not have a solution that fits all. And to come back to the Mills affair we do not really know what has been going through that marriage. It is often the case though that it is women that are demonised when actually we are the weakest members of society.
life insurance premiums haven't been paid?
Nah we will screw you on the non-disclosure!
<FSA that was a joke, we pay more than 98%of death claims straight away>
Thanks, Mabelle, I am very happy now.
I've never been financially dependent as an adult, and just can't imagine doing so. I wouldn't like the idea that someone else might have some right to criticize what I spent money on! If I earn it, I can spend it how I like!
We all make choices in life, and have to live with the consequences. If you choose to become dependent on someone else's income, you'd better start saving a bit from the housekeeping each month
Cynical? Moi??
There isn't only one truth and we all have our sufferings. I have done my best and do not have a solution that fits all. And to come back to the Mills affair we do not really know what has been going through that marriage. It is often the case though that it is women that are demonised when actually we are the weakest members of society.
this was the point i was trying to discuss in my original post mabelle. the other was, does heather mills' reaction to all this end up potraying all women in bad light? most of the time i thinkwomen going through a divorce have a strong claim but it only takes one and all women become demonised.
my wife had to endure all kinds of psychological torture during her marriage and unbelievable financial constraints e.g. being given £1 a day to get lunch for her and her young son when he went out to work., among others. when she finally plucked up[ the courage to leave him, he made sure the judge saw him as an impoverished male with gold digging ex. he managed to get the minimum payment for their 3 kids and left the court smirking at her. even now he takes great pleasure out of it and actually deducts money from the maintenance payments if he has to pay for the kids to do anything
I reckon we put an end to this thread.
How much of a boost to her already over inflated ego would it be for her to know that she was stirring up so much discussion about her - good or bad.
I personally couldn't care less whether she had £24 million or lived in a shoe.
I'd rather hear about inspirational people who actually matter.
McCartney is a Beatle, and for that he gets a free pass for life with me. Whatever he does or has done, I don`t care.
She, on the other hand can go directly to hell, without passing Go and wthout collecting £200.
Ok, so on that last bit she gets 15 mill.
Dan - well we sort of have moved to talk about our own experience with divorce rather than just the ms Mills case.
Travis - yes, yes, yes. So very often women are left with anything and I think we should support and understand instead of demonising or come out with forum snippets.
Ms Mills gives women and divorce a bad name but hers is a rare case.