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And welcome Brenda.
If you are genuine newbie, don't worry. I know he doesn't actually have any bolas. Though I can't guarantee a lack of tea-towels.
If you are a trolly thing in another of its guises - keep it funny this time, eh?
Azacaya wrote (see)
Runnerman - do they hold both arms out in front of them and make uh-uh noises? If so, it is a zombie town. Maybe you should consider moving.
Right we need to get a posse together.
Does anyone have a 4x4 preferably with bull bars on the front? I can sort some cloned number plates.
I reckon we pick a relatively low-key rural event and just `accidently` clip a few likely candidates, straggling at the back, who WE know started off far quicker than they had any right to and are merely obstructing those who chose a sensible pace. `Accidents` happen.
Im all for zapping people! Did a 5km recently and right at the end when i was giving it all i had left to get over the finish line this guy who had walked the entire thing suddenly overtook me and sprinted for the finish given the appearance that he had beaten me, he got a huge cheer and i looked like a complete loser even though i had ran plenty of it (will admit to walking parts, it was a difficult course and i was ill) and he had just walked it all!!
oh and to add another one...all the incosiderate b*stards in the Aberdeen RFL last week who walked right from the start of the runners bit, even though the organisers had been extrememly clear with big flags and tannoys that there would be a seperate start for runners and walkers! Thanks to them it took me over 9mins just to get to the first km marker!
I finished The PICNIC marathon on 20 June 2009 (reputed to be the Hardest Marathon In Britain) and I am not ashamed to say I did have to walk in that race... because:
A) There were 20 or so hills amounting to 6,503ft of climb in 27 miles!
There were 20 or so hills with 6,510ft of fall - it was a half marathon out and back course. TWICE!
C) After the 1st ascent which was nearly half a mile long (and 400ft of climb) we had to plunge down 270 steps to the lowest part of the course to cross the river, once over a bridge and once over the stepping stones.
D) Then we had to get back up the steps... by whatever means possible - NOBODY RAN UP THE STEPS not even the winner who was 3 HOURS faster than the last finisher!
E) Gasping for breath we continued uphill to a height marker / viewpoint up on the side of Box Hill, this was still inside the first 1.5 miles... Only loonatics / superheros would dare run this with 24 miles to go!
F) Next was a fast but tricky section, running/scrambling downhill (approx 200ft acording to my GARMIN) along a single file track, through a gate and over a stile before..
G) another grimacing climb! This time 325ft up the infamous CHUTE, so named by me and adopted officially by the race director, because of it's wateslide appearance save for the fact there were tree roots. logs, boulders, leaves and deep ruts to negotiate... That was only 2.5 miles of a marathon distance covered...
H) A pleasent trot through the forrest (and a half mile out and back cock up due to no sign post indicating right) led to a 250ft descent through a field full of buffalo sized cows (true!) but what goes down in this race has to go back up...
I) and we did - 225ft!
J) Next followed a glorious 425ft descent, about a mile long along a gravel road - now we are at 5.5miles.
OMG Andy, I can't believe you walked!
It sounds very erm, scenic. Have you entered next year's yet?
Here is the course profile / data from my Garmin and MotionBased.com -
Why not disqualify walkers.
In the words of a famous tennis player. "You can not be serious."
DONT BE A TW* T ALL YOUR LIFE
kwilter...waddling less wrote (see)
OMG Andy, I can't believe you walked! It sounds very erm, scenic. Have you entered next year's yet?
It sounds very erm, scenic. Have you entered next year's yet?
I`m not saying you shouldn`t walk but:-
A) YOU OUGHT TO THEN DROP OUT.
2) If there are `20 or so hills`, pace yourself.
c) If there are `20 or so hills`, there`s a lot of DOWNhills aswell and they`re well easy.
iv) Steps? I live in a 3 storey house so I practise every day. Easy.
6) `Cows` ? So long as they weren`t part of the race, don`t worry, unless you are David Blunkett.
K) At least there was no snow.
12) More of the same.
~@) Bewrae of 4x4`s and always give way to traffic.
the egyptian toe wrote (see)
I`m not saying you shouldn`t walk but:-A) YOU OUGHT TO THEN DROP OUT.2) If there are `20 or so hills`, pace yourself.c) If there are `20 or so hills`, there`s a lot of DOWNhills aswell and they`re well easy.
How would a dropout get back to the start if they weren't allowed to walk? I know - RUN!
I did pace myself - I finished with 45mins to spare after going off course (because there was no route sign) and finished within the time limit! I did want to finish in style and ride a buffalo down to the river, that would have raised a few eyebrows!
The downhills were easy, easier than the uphills even though my quads were on fire and my kneecaps were trying to force themselves out of my skin. Apart from that it was all a peice of piss.
I bet I could count on 1 finger the amount of people that wouldn't have walked in that race...
Has anyone else done this MAD MAD race?
If I had a tazar gun I would zap all the people who paid and didn't turn up...
and those who gave up half way round. Mind you it gave the rest of us more room to stagger around!
Not all Sloths are 100% daft
errr hang on
You mean the thread isn't serious? I'm on the wrong forum then obviously. Last weekend I had to walk for ten paces on a nasty uphill part of my training run. I finally pulled myself together and caught up with my running partners. When they were sure there was nobody looking they beat the living crap out of me for being such a loser. And quite right too.
Why, if I'd had some of ET's bolas I would have taken myself out there and then.
Lara - Ignore them. I'm not the fastest of runners so i'm just going to protect myself at every race i do from now on. I'm just going to spit at all the marshals as a precautionary measure!
AND...... when i marshal at events......... I'll 'ave all their names and numbers ready....