Are your family, friends, colleagues supportive of your running?

Although I try to talk to my family about my running and triathlon training, it tends to fall on deaf ears. My mum simply becomes anxious that I am 'doing too much'.  My sister says I am obsessed with exercise. They cannot see the difference between keeping to a training schedule and over-exercising. They cannot seem to understand that I do these activities because I enjoy them! 

And yet both my mum and sister are overweight - my sister in particular smokes, eats unhealthily, does no exercise whatsoever and then has a pop at me!  I've just come back from spending a week at my mums in Stroud and was horrified by their over-reliance on taxis for very short distances.

So its really difficult to share my enthusiasms with them although my Mum will support me by sponsoring me for charity events.

It gets a bit lonely sometimes as I feel I am now the oddball in the familyimage.

I am interested in training for an Ironman but I don't even think I could tell my mum this.........I think it would send her to an early grave! 

What are your families like?  Or your work colleagues for that matter?

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Comments

  • a mix of p*ss taking and admiration from my friends and family, the p*ss taking tends to be from the fat unfit people,  the admiration from the people who try to look after themselves! in conclusion i put the negative stuff down to jealousy.!!

     i run for me anyway, not bothered what others think about it!image all the best with your ironman training-go for it!

  • ladyfe wrote (see)

    And yet both my mum and sister are overweight - my sister in particular smokes, eats unhealthily, does no exercise whatsoever and then has a pop at me! 


    ... and there's your answer.  It's perhaps some sense of self-preservation on her part, turning the table on you rather than taking a good look at herself.

    Find local people to train with and get your support from them. image

  • As Nam says there is probably an underlying sense of resentment/envy from your sister in the fact that she looks at herself she would see that you're not the one who is doing anything wrong. She doesn't like it so rather than try and make an effort herself, it is easier to try and drag you down....

    I'm fortunate, my family accept that I run. My work colleagues also accept that it's part of my life. In fact I go running with one of the guys in the office and a few others are fitness orientated, so we're always discussing various topics of exercise, nutrition, sport, etc. There is one guy in the office who is envious of the miles I put in, but he's not nasty with it. I think he wishes he could do it hmself but just doesn't have the discipline to get out there.

  • Ladyfe - I think we're related!  Shall we meet up on Jeremy Kyle? image

    My family drink, smoke, eat fry ups and hold a full conversation while pouring salt on their already salted fish and chips.

    They simply don't "get it".....image

    Mr LB's family are very proud of us and come to support us in local races if they can. They don't run either, but they show a whole lot more interest and I know they're very proud.

    I only started running because I wanted to see what all the fuss was about. Now it's me doing the marathons and Mr LB is cheering on the sidelines!image

  • SunluvvaSunluvva ✭✭✭

    My hubby is kind of wierd.  He dosen't really give me any support and rarely comes to races with me, apart from marathons as I insist on a lift home.   He shakes his head and tuts etc when I say I'm going to do  x miles today, and sort of ignores me when I leave details of an off road route with him,.  His only hobby is boozing and he eats a really unhealthy diet too.   But he is extremely proud of my achievements and boasts to his mates about his wife being a marathon runner (i've only done 5).

    With friends it's a mixture of p*ss taking and encouragement.

  • My friends fall into two categories...

    Those who have NO idea why I do it (or why anybody would want to) - and those who are runners themselves and understand the fueling, the injuries and the training. Without the latter, I think I might have gone stark raving bonkers by now. It's always good to know that people understand where you're coming from.

  • LB - my friends are like those as well, although there are more that don't understand why I do it than do!  I can cope with lack of understanding...its the underlying resentment I find hard to fathom

    Having said that....nearly everyone at work assumes I will just get up and run the London Marathon every year and always appear surprised in April when I say I didn't do it!  ( I did it in 2006 and ever since have been known as the one who runs marathons!)

    My daughter ( who is now 19) is actually quite proud of me. However she does pat me on the head in gentle fashion if I talk too much about running. image.And she does use it to her advantage....often suggesting that I go out for a LONG run (when she wants the house to herself methinks...image)

  • My office is pretty good.  image  I got 3 colleagues into running and within 8 weeks two of them wiped the floor with my pathetic 10k and Half Mara PBs... image  I am really pleased for them honest... imageimage

    My boss sometimes bugs me.  I'm not ill more than the average person in our team but if I ever have a cold with me she always brings up the training and am I "overdoing it" etc.  But generally she's ok. 

  • Nam - thats it........every illness like a cold or flu is always down to us 'overdoing it'!  Even though the rest of the non-running work force also succumb to the same bugs .Well done about your work colleagues btw......at work I have done a little bit of running around the field with some colleagues but so far they still think I'm the next Paula Radcliffe! image. I'm still trying to plug it at work however image

  • My mother's favourite comment is  "Is that wise?" image meaning that she doesn't think that I should be doing it.  With the added, unspoken comment "at your age" image

    My ex' favourite comment is "I did the GNR"  Only he forgets to add, "once, 30 years ago."  Doubt if he could run a bath now although he subscribes to all the men's fitness magsimage and faffs around in a gym - allegedlyimage

    My  off-spring are great. image No 2 Child gets out the spatula (a la Run, Fat Boy, Run) and whacks me on the bum whenever I go out - according to him, he's helping with my trainingimageimage  No matter what I'm doing though, he always says "Good luck" (aahh, sweet). image   No 1 Child thinks I'm mad, but in a nice "proud of mum" way.

    Due to injury, my running will probably be limited to 10k distances, so I was toying with the idea of (thinking about!) moving to tri's instead.  When they'd all picked themselves up from the floor, where they'd fallen, laughing..................

    TBH, doesn't matter to me what they think, whatever I do, I do for myselfimageimage

  • I get the odd parental comment of  'you better watch youre not overdoing it' or ' youre looking tired, just be careful', but I suppose that just showing concern.

  • My youngest once got into an argument with Kerry Katona's eldest daughter over tidying up after a kids session in the gym. When she was met with "my daddy's a popstar" Miss LB retorted " and my daddy's a marathon runner!"image

    She was only four at the time, but I like the sense of pride! (and the idea that marathons trump Westlife)image

    I have noticed on here though that some folk have to justify their running to their employees and if they're off ill, then their bosses will blame it on their training, or they have to make excuses for when they want time off (say for an IM / marathon abroad)image 

    I was mistakenly under the impression that what you choose to do in your own time should be your own business...image

  • LIVERBIRD wrote (see)

    I have noticed on here though that some folk have to justify their running to their employees and if they're off ill, then their bosses will blame it on their training, or they have to make excuses for when they want time off (say for an IM / marathon abroad)image 

    I was mistakenly under the impression that what you choose to do in your own time should be your own business...image

    I don't think that it's just running/sport where you have to justify/make excuses about taking time off. If your boss doesn't 'get' your hobby/interest they will always find it difficult  to understand why you would want to take time off or spend lots of money to persue it.

    Also, it is your own business what you do in your spare time except when it impacts your work.  If, for example, you break your ankle during a race, is it any different to breaking your ankle because you were drunk?  

  • Gertie (IM not a girl!!) wrote (see)
    Also, it is your own business what you do in your spare time except when it impacts your work.  If, for example, you break your ankle during a race, is it any different to breaking your ankle because you were drunk?  


    I don't think you can draw a comparison between injuring yourself whilst drunk and injuring yourself whilst running? Running can hardly be classed as an extreme sport on a par with say, ice climbing on Everest. Drinking to excess is obviously self destructive whereas running isn't really - unless you deliberately run under a bus. Besides, I could break my ankle falling over my Dyson whilst hoovering - would that be my fault? No. Not unless I was pissed up at the time! image

    Back to the original point of the thread. My kids fall somewhere between being amused and embarrased about my levels of training. The eldest in particular is always horrified if i go for a run around the village where her mates might be hanging out. I bring shame on her apparently. I asked whether she would rather have a fat arsed mum who sits on the sofa with twenty Bensons and a bottle of vino every night. For some reason, yes was the answer! image The younger two don't really care what i do as long as I cook dinner first... My parents have no idea what i get up to, but they have sponsored me  for bike rides in the past, so I guess they are supportive. My friends think i'm mental, but admire my efforts and i have encouraged at least one colleague to join the gym. But i don't care - i do it for myself and to keep busy in the wake of a relationship meltdown. Far better to go for a run, than sit and obsess an ex!

  • angelic wrote (see)
     But i don't care - i do it for myself and to keep busy in the wake of a relationship meltdown. Far better to go for a run, than sit and obsess an ex!


    It's what got me through an extremely stressful divorce and the day that I finally (after 2 years) got the papers through, I did my first and fastest 10k. 

    Still trying to catch up with it (let alone beat itimage)

  • angelic wrote (see)

    I don't think you can draw a comparison between injuring yourself whilst drunk and injuring yourself whilst running? Running can hardly be classed as an extreme sport on a par with say, ice climbing on Everest. Drinking to excess is obviously self destructive whereas running isn't really - unless you deliberately run under a bus. Besides, I could break my ankle falling over my Dyson whilst hoovering - would that be my fault? No. Not unless I was pissed up at the time! image

    I'm sure if your boss was a tee total couch potato they could.

    All I'm saying is that what is an acceptable and enjoyable lifestyle to us might not be looked at in the same way by other people. 

  • LIVERBIRD wrote (see)

    My youngest once got into an argument with Kerry Katona's eldest daughter over tidying up after a kids session in the gym. When she was met with "my daddy's a popstar" Miss LB retorted " and my daddy's a marathon runner!"image

    She was only four at the time, but I like the sense of pride! (and the idea that marathons trump Westlife)image


    LOL!!!!  image  It sure as feck trumps Ms Katona!!!

    http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_9cgC1zM7dEM/R-zRiJ73M3I/AAAAAAAAo9A/z19mGcIzzKk/s400/kerry.jpg

    image


  • http://images.mirror.co.uk/upl/m4/jul2009/3/4/kerry-katona-pic-sm-xposure-508912922.jpg

    Nothing like a bit of post-run relaxation.....................image

  • I'm lucky in that all my family are supportive and come to many events to cheer me on.

    Most of my friends admire what I do but its not always been so. A few years back certain friends including my ex used to make the usual comments I was obsessed and l be knackered when I'm older. Time has gone by and I'm still fit now as then and they who are now over weight with high blood pressure etc, ask for my advice on health and fitness issues.

    My family and friends can now see how I have benefited from running and some are are inspired to try it for them selves. My advice is to keep at it and over the next few years your family and friends will be with you image

  • eery how much that looks like my sister!  image

  • Ladyfe,

    I think you are awesome and well done you for continuing to invest in yourself.  Happiness and fitness are internal controls, i.e. YOU are the only one who can acheive them and you are doing this just fine and dandy.

    I have found that those who are quick to slag me off for running are actually jealous and envious that I get off my arse and do it!  I hear the usual excuses like "oh, I never have the time" or "I'm too old/fat/unfit" and I simply state if I can do it, anyone can.  I have two kids - 9 & 3 - I also work full-time, have a lovely husband who works abroad and a house to run.  I MAKE the time - that is my responsibility and within my control.  Yes, its challenging, but its worth it as I see it as an investment in my health (physical, mental and emotional) and it also demonstrates to my kids that a healthy lifestyle - and my commitment to it - is important.

    Good on you!  You will get LOTS of support right here - this forum is bloody marvellous!  And I am mega impressed re; the Ironman - go for it, I say!  I really look forward to hearing how you get on!

    I am lucky that my husband is supportive and I have actually roped him into running now - he is doing the Loch Ness 10k with me in October!  My mum is very encouraging but I do get some stick from my inlaws, but generally they are okay.

    I laughed at the Kerry Katona chat - she is vile!

  • I'm the only one in my family who does an appreciable amount of exercise on a regular basis, and have done since I was a child, but my husband is very supportive of it.  Exercise is something totally alien to my mother-in-law, who is disapproving of the amount of exercise I do as she thinks it's bad for you (she's smokes, is overweight and has cardiovascular disease). I have a lot of friends and work mates who do the same sports as me (running and mountain biking) so it's good to have people to do these things with.
  • CJBA wrote (see)
    angelic wrote (see)
     But i don't care - i do it for myself and to keep busy in the wake of a relationship meltdown. Far better to go for a run, than sit and obsess an ex!


    It's what got me through an extremely stressful divorce and the day that I finally (after 2 years) got the papers through, I did my first and fastest 10k. 

    Still trying to catch up with it (let alone beat itimage)


    Good on you!! image Amazing how motivational something so crap can be. I still have the misfortune to occasionally see my ex at the gym I use. I always swim further and faster when he shows up. Usually whilst thinking of horrible fates that might befall him on his way home. image

    Gertie - my boss is a total couch potato and yes, he fails to get why I do anything I do. Whenever I have a sniffle, he tells me it was my own fault for cycling to work in skimpy clothing image, or running in the rain. I just take no notice. He's a sweetie really. Plus he is always happy to sponsor me if I ask.

  • I've been threatened with violecne if I start another sentence that includes the word "run..."

    This is both at work and at home.....
  • I did the  Inverness  half in March, my third half marathon. The  weather was awful and i  was running alone  so did  find  it a struggle, finished in 2.15which for me wasn't to bad.  Made  myhusband and 2 wee  girls  cum &  watch me finish and  when i crossed the line  knackered and freezing  he said to me '  blimey i wondered what had happened to you as there  was some  right states in before  you 9(mmeaning people that did not  look fit), bloody cheek, could have throttled  him but didn't have the energy!!  Have gladly told  all  my  family what he said  to  try and embarrass him!

    I am now training for loch ness marathon and i've warned him that 1. he must come and support me and 2. no smart comments at the finish!!

    My mum always says to me ' when are you going to get over this running thing' but really they are very proud when I do races, especially for charity.

    I have two girls, 3 and 4 and i think its really good  to show them that their mummy runs, does yoga and tries to eat healthy; ' mummy is that healthy food,  will it give us energy' !  I think i say that a lot to them!

    Also i say to my husband that 'food is fuel' and hee says  ' your reading to many of those running magazines'. A sure way to shut him up if he ever goes on about my running is to ask would he rather a fat and unfit wife?!!  Works  every time.

  • morvyporv wrote (see)

    I have two girls, 3 and 4 and i think its really good  to show them that their mummy runs, does yoga and tries to eat healthy; ' mummy is that healthy food,  will it give us energy' !  I think i say that a lot to them!

    My daughters have turned into the "food police" at school now! Youngest is especially judgmental about what her friend's parents pack into their lunchboxes. She has a point, as half of them contain 6 sausage rolls, a packet of Haribo and a can of coke, but she's 8 and I worry she might labour the point too hard. Some of her friends went home to their parents and asked for chopped cucumber and carrot sticks in their lunchboxes, much to their parents astonishment. If you want to encourage kids to eat healthily, there is no better way than peer pressure - but parents should always lead the way and too many of the parents round here still look like Ms Katona...image 

    I take the view now that I'm responsible only for the health of me and my family.

  • I am actually surprised at the amount of people on this thread who get so much disapproval from family/friends/work colleagues.

    How on earth can someone who makes an effort to stay fit get grief from anyone? I look at guys in the gym, (not in that way!), or when out running, who have a better physique than me, or who are running faster and I want to be like them. It spurs me on. It certainly doesn't make me want to criticise them...

  • I think someone made the point about parents just showing 'parental concern' and I guess thats probably right. I have to shield my mum from some of my training or racing dramas for instance as she would simply worry about me for ever more!  However I think criticism from siblings and friends and work colleagues is uncalled for.  My sister has been grumbling about her health and weight for years but won't do anything long term about it....except pop at me! 

    I don't think I have gone a day at work without somebody commenting on what I'm eating or what I look like. If I buy chocolate from the machine I get moaned at for 'being able to eat what you like without putting on weight blah blah'.  If I choose not to eat a cake thats being offered around ( although its rare for me to refuse food)  I get more comments..." oh you don't need to worry about your weight!"   I'm not worried about my weight for gawds sake...I just don't want a cake! Not hungry! etc etc It really does get on my t*ts sometimes.  I often end up just eating stuff to keep everyone else happy! 

  • For me it boils down to whether the friends / family do exercise themselves. If they do then they'll be positive, if they don't then they'll either (a) be uninterested or (b) possibly a bit jealous.

    At the end of the day it's a hobby so you can't expect everyone to be on your side with it. Some friends of mine are really into cars, mechanics, F1 etc and it bores me sh*tless, image so I can't expect them to be enthralled at my interests.

    At our local one of my friends was complaining about putting on weight since he'd stopped smoking, so he'd started again. He said, 'Every guy my age has a beer belly though' - I pointed out that Mr S didn't. His reply, 'Well you and him aren't exactly normal' image

    The anal attitude of some runners annoys me though - the failure to understand that physical activity is as beneficial as your structured LSR, and you don't need a [garmin, hrm, running club, splits, fancy kit, etc] to achieve it. A brisk long hilly walk with a dog will do it. The difference being you can't download data to bore people with later on.

  • I agree that some runners are just as anal as stamp collectors or train spotters.

    But I agree with those people who feel that the criticism mentioned feels like a criticism of them and their life style as opposed to a criticism of their hobby and THAT is the difference. 

    I mean personally I'm astonished at what some people put up with from their partners or families and it's only because peeps like LadyFe are too nice to turn around and tell her sister "YOU really DON'T need that piece of cake luv!  You barely fit through the door, look hideous, can't get up the stairs without puffing, are in line for diabetes and heart attacks - and don't come to me moaning when you're in hospital, and quite frankly are an appalling example to your children."

    I suppose you can't chose your family but you can chose your partner, and I wouldn't go out with anyone who has a huge beer gut, doesn't move, smokes 2 packs a day and spends his evenings down the pub and thinks darts is a sport.  But... maybe that's why I'm single... image

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