Sunday joke

beebsbeebs ✭✭✭
What do you call a woman with a pint on her head playing snooker?

Beatrix Potter

(beer-tricks potter ) in case like me it took a while to understand


  • Yeah thanks for that :)
  • beebsbeebs ✭✭✭
    Caz i'm sorry but in my defence its still raining, the washing is still wet on the line, hubby is on the way to Cork, kids are all busy and i'm bored.
  • MuttleyMuttley ✭✭✭
    Boo! Get off!
  • beebsbeebs ✭✭✭
    Muttley o.k it was bad but it came off the back of a bag of wotsits
  • Oh anyone got any christmas cracker jokes, or lollypop ones? (Do they still do jokes on lollysticks?)
  • beebsbeebs ✭✭✭
    No but here is another wotsits joke
    What do you call a rich bear?
    Winnie the pools !
  • Taxi for Dr Cathy!
  • Titter!
  • Taxi or white coat?
  • beebsbeebs ✭✭✭
    Hey don't dis me i'm a practioner over at Dr Nics i've got my own consulting rooms complete with fluffy towels
  • I just went out to buy a jar of HP sauce, but they told me it would cost 6p a month for the next two years...

    (sorry - just had to share that little one with you - it took me ages to get it)
  • beebsbeebs ✭✭✭
    good one chaos
  • WardiWardi ✭✭✭
    Two budgies sitting on a perch.

    One says to the other 'can you smell fish?'
  • beebsbeebs ✭✭✭
    Wardi i don't unerstand
  • Two fish in a tank

    One turns to the other

    "How do you drive this thing ?"
  • beebsbeebs ✭✭✭
    I don't understanfd these jokes

  • A perch is a type of fish DC
  • beebsbeebs ✭✭✭
    Oggy thank you

  • No problem DC

    Two fishes swimming along, one hits a wall and cries "Dam!"
  • A ghost walks into a bar and says "A double whisky please."
    The bar tender replies "Sorry, we don't serve spirits."

    Ha, Ha, Ha, groan...........
  • beebsbeebs ✭✭✭
    i understood both of those thanks just keep them simple
  • Two tramps walking down a country lane

    One spies a rabbit in the road

    The other one says "are you giong to eat that?"

    "Dont be disgusting!" replies his mate

    So the tramp wolfs the bunny down skin and all and is the violently sick

    The other tramp rushes over and scoops up the mess and eats it in one

    "What're you doing " Says the second tramp" you said it was disgusting!!"

    "Yeah but I didnt want it cold" replies his bud
  • MuttleyMuttley ✭✭✭
    Two ducks flying over Belfast. One says to the other: "Quaaack!"

    The other says: "Oi'm goin' as quaaack as I can!"
  • This bloke walks in to a bar.

  • Paddy and Mick go to the Forestry Commission for jobs. Paddy walks out of the office and says to Mick that there's no point in applying as there are only two of them.

    Mick looks puzzled.

    Paddy says he's just seen the advert "Tree fellers required".
  • beebsbeebs ✭✭✭
    Excellent keep going
  • The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow. I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".

    Classic stolen from another thread
  • MuttleyMuttley ✭✭✭
    Paddy applies for a job on a building site. The foreman says, "Now look Paddy, I've got to check you know what's what round here. So tell me - what's the difference between a joist and a girder?"

    Paddy ponders for a while, and replies: "Ah yes, now, Joist, he's the fella who wrote Ulysses, and I think it was Girder who wrote Faust ..."
  • beebsbeebs ✭✭✭
    oh i'm feeling happier by the minute
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