Howdy, Stranger!
Categories
The materials in this website are in no way intended to replace the professional medical care, advice, diagnosis or treatment of a doctor, qualified personal trainer, therapist, dietitian or nutritionist Runners's World, Part of the Hearst UK well-being network © Copyright 2017
Comments
Aw fab report, well done Madlot!
Great report too Joddly, and how fantastic to win your age group and come 4th female overall!!!! I'll need to wait until i'm about 93 until i've a hope of an AG win, hahaha. Well done
Blimey Kanga, you're up late?
Nice reports guys. Making me feel all excited for the rest of us in a few weeks time.
Brilliant reports everyone.
I will never be able to look at body glide in the same way again and STIL, if you don't write for a living, you should seriously consider it. Really enjoyed the reports and I'm humbled by your fantastic performances.
Madlot wrote (see)
Madlot, if it was you and the pirate kids at White Post pub then you gave me goosebumps and a boost -
Many many thanks!
WTF??
Great report mate, next year sub 12 then?..
I like me baths mate
Sub 12? nah, I'm retiring 
That was me and mine David and believe me you weren't the only one. Magic moment!
A pirate with a proper coach! Whatever next?
OK, race report. Registered Friday, meeting the Colourins in the process, then spent the rest of the day packing and re-packing transition bags, checking my bike for the umpteenth time etc. After the briefing on Saturday it was a relief to get rid of them all to stop all that faffing.
I slept fairly well the night before, which is unusual for me, but it was an early start anyway, checking everything again in transition. Bumped into HC, OC and others before the start, had a good chat, visited the portaloos a few times (a recurring theme as it turned out) until someone suggested we might like to make our way into the water. Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time, so I got myself in position between bays 2 & 3 and waited for the off.
The swim should have been OK, straight up & down the lake, and after getting punched in the head early on (still sore now) I seemed to be going fine. Mostly in a straight line, passed a few on the return leg, only to get out in 1:25, a good 5 minutes slower than hoped for.
T1 was probably the only part of the race organisation that could have been improved, IMO. Too many bags in too little space. Over 6 minutes, including a pit stop, just shocking really. Anway, helmet on, shoes on, onto the bike and off we go.
The outward leg to the loop and the first loop went well, eating & drinking OK. 2nd lap not so good - starting with a stomach cramp that made eating a real effort, and a bar end shifter that worked loose so changing gear was a bit of a problem. Probably didn't slow me much, but annoying just the same. I caught Melifera on that 2nd loop and after she's checked I wasn't lapping her (as if!!) we traded places for the rest of the bike leg - she'd come past on the long drags and disappear off, and I'd catch her again on the uphill sections. She obviously has far better pace judgement than I do.
The wind was starting to pick up on the 2nd & 3rd loops, and it was getting to be hard going. Support lived up to expectations, the pirate feedstation an obvious highlight but in some of the towns too. The final leg back to transition was into a nasty headwind and I only saw two others at that point, one bloke who sat on my wheel after the draftbusters had gone past and Mel as she cam flying past for the final time. Into T2 in 5:25, on a par with my Roth bike leg (which was a bit shorter) but given the wind quite happy with that.
T2 was a IM PB for me, sub 3 minutes including a pit stop, not too shabby.
The run was steady without ever threatening to be anything special. The multi-lap course meant there were always plenty of others about, but coming to the first mile marker at the far end of the lake that said 25 miles was a real reminder of just how far there was to go. I stuck to water & gels as the coke wasn't properly flat (I tried it once and wondered which end was going to belch first...) and focussed on getting from one feed station to the next, waving at pirates coming the other way.
My pre-race target of 10 hours was unlikely from the point I got out of the water and definitely disappeared during the bike leg, so the run was really about enjoying it as best I could and not having any major blow-ups. The only moment of disappointment was reaching the lake for the final time, with the finish across the other side and the PA calling the winner of my age group. What might have been, eh?
Oddly that final lap of the lake I felt pretty good, a real contrast to Roth a year ago. The propspect of heading left into the chute instead of carrying on was a real motivator, and the support in the stands was great, especially the pirate contingent who'd made it back from the feedstation. Crossing the line though whatever had kept me going on that final lap just disappeared and I just sat there, not wanting to move. I had a massage just so I could lie down for a bit and it must have been a good hour before I made it back out into the stands to cheer on the others.
Good to meet up with HH, Ditchy, Aitch, LS, StB, CD, Mon & others. Well done to all & thanks to the supporters, top notch stuff as ever.
Well this is it folks. The moment of truth – months of effort have come down to this one performance, and I can’t help but admit to myself that I’m crippled with fear. It’s race report time!
Saturday
I arrived at HPP just after midday and, on the advice of Bookie, drove around the campsite on the lookout for lots of Pirate flags. It was to later be established that the pirate flags were in the hands of Barlos, and so I drove around in vain feeling silly for a good half an hour. Just as I thought “Sod it, I’ll pitch then find the pirate goodness, I happened upon Little Sister and Monique, who quickly made me feel welcome and so I pitched up next to them. By this time it was clear that if everything was done succinctly, Mon and I could make the 3pm race briefing and rack our bikes in one daring manoeuvre. Cue possibly the greatest contrast in triathlon history – my beginner’s nerves and general headless chicken impression, coupled with Mon’s laissez faire experience. I believe I quote when I say “Is it a single loop on the bike?!” - I would later find myself wishing that this was the case.
We stuck our gear in the transition bags and racked our bikes, before making a move towards the briefing – briefly meeting Bookie and Cake, who bestowed me with a bottle for the bike and a hug of epic proportions.
SE’s Award #1: Best Greeting goes to…. Cake!
The briefing itself might have been good, but we found ourselves outside as it was so full (and I found myself distracted by the unfolding of the Tour de France on twitter). Nevertheless, any nerves I had about what was to come were somewhat subdued by Mon’s nonchalance, for which I am truly grateful.
Anyhoo… Off we went in the car for breakfast supplies, beer and food. After a nice pub tea we found ourselves settled down amongst a good circle of pirates and conversation flowed. I had another beer to help me get some sleep, and people started to go their separate ways for kip.
Agreed with Mon to be up and ready to head over for 4:45, to give us enough time to sort everything out – I had to put my bottles in T1 and some gels in my T1 bag.
Pirates Rock
5 a.m.
I definitely set my alarm for 4:30. I know I did. But when Mon knocked on my car window at 5, I had to check it again to see I hadn’t lifted the little wheel thing to turn it on. Mistake number 1. Despite the calming influences around me, I couldn’t help but revert to panic mode. Rush, rush, rush. Get back on schedule. Wolf down a cereal bar, half a pint of apple juice and we’re away. As we reach T1 I realise with horror that in my rush I’ve forgotten the gels I was going to put in T1. And my only water bottle to last me until the first bottle station (and that Cakey was so kind to give me). By this point it was far too late to run back to get them. I try to fill my apple juice bottle with water, only to find it doesn’t fit the bottle cage.
“Mon… what am I gonna do?!” *petrified face*
“Don’t panic. Take my torq. You’ll be alright, this was your last mistake of the day, you’ll be fine”
At this point I think it should be becoming clear just how much this wonderful woman did for my race day. I could quite easily have gone wrong on so many counts on Saturday, and especially on Sunday morning. It perhaps epitomises just what’s so good about the pirate ethos that Mon was willing to give away some of her nutrition at a moment’s notice to help out someone she’d barely met a day ago. As others have already said, this pirate mentality is so, so special, and I’m really proud to be even a tiny part of it.
SE’s Award #2: Mother-for-the-Day goes to… Monique!
The Swim
3… 2… 1… Nothing. Don’t swim. Just wait. Give yourself a minute, and let the STI’s and the CD’s have their little scrap. Right it’s getting clearer, swim. And swim. I had planned on taking it easy in the swim, and saving as much energy as I could for the bike, where the cut-off was my main concern. Having swum a considerable amount in the past, the distance didn’t worry me as much as that on wheels, and if I could get round saving as much energy as possible, then I would leave myself in the best possible shape to crack the bike. 250m, I got a right old kick in the chops. As I sit here now, I can poke my tongue into the hole in my lip. Though I look like I’m gurning if I do, so I’ll probably stop. The pain isn’t as sharp as I expected though, and I’m glad I’m in water that still feels cold as I think about it numbing the area. Onwards.
Although navigation is easy, I find myself looking up to sight often. It is perhaps a trick of the mind, or maybe the light, but I can’t help but think there are a lot of people in front of me. Maybe I’m not going out hard enough. It would be awful embarrassing to save it all on the swim and miss the cutoff. So I swim the second half a bit harder. As I reach the exit ramp I see the clock at 1:14 and think “What the hell?!” This can’t be right – but assuming it is, then it’s good news. I tell myself repeatedly to focus on the fact that I’m feeling good, not that I think I’ve gone too fast. Stripper time, and T1.
Swim: 1:14:15
T1
There’s not a lot to say about T1 other than I made a total arse of it. I hadn’t prepped everything in the morning because I was rushing, and my sunglasses didn’t even have their lenses in. Hung my bag back up instead of carrying it with me and had to run back to get it. General confusion that I think can only be blamed on inexperience and lack of preparation.
T1: 10:39
The Bike
Into the bike racks, and thanks to sagely advice I knew exactly where I was and was off and pedalling quite quickly. Tried to stay out of the big ring for the first few miles as I didn’t want to fill the legs with lactic. Soon spotted my first pirate in STIL. At long last Slow and Slower were together. I like to think of us as the new Dumb and Dumber, but I can’t see it being successful. He was cheery to greet me, but conversation soon turned to just how much he would like to lose some ballast. He powered off in search of a portaloo and I stuck to the game plan. As we reached Oxton Hill I saw him again, and teased him with a standing up, “truffle shuffle”. In my mind I was channelling Contador. In reality I must have looked far from that! To the Pirate Feed Station next, and boy was I glad to see them. Jettisoning Mon’s bottle, I quickly smashed a bottle of water out of somebodies hands. Too fast. Schmunks was quick to react and made sure I got the next bottle. Thank you so much for this, I had a little crisis of confidence there, but got through it eventually.
SE’s Award #3: Feed Station Hero: Everyone at the Pirate Station, but if Schmunks wants to collect the trophy, I won’t be going past at about 20mph this time – lesson learned!
Without the gels I had planned to put in my back pocket, I found myself in a bit of a quandary – I had done all my training on gels and water, and yet it seemed that I wouldn’t be able to get enough gels from the feed stations due to my terrible bike skills. Plan B formed in my head – Get your fluids and sugar from the High5 and carry a gel or two and a bit of water to regulate yourself either way.
From there on out it was a steady push around the first loop until I was surprised to find I came through 40 miles a lot earlier than anticipated. I knew I had pushed hard to try and make sure I was fast enough, but I appeared to be averaging about 18mph. As my Garmin 305 battery is slowly dying, all I had to go on was my Forerunner 50 and guesswork for mileage.
As the laps went on and the wind picked up, my speed decreased, and I’ve always told myself I’m a carp cyclist in the wind. Seeing my parents at the end of each loop cheered me up no end though, and my Mr Motivator cut-out had been mounted to a wooden post to cheer me on! Each lap became… Get to the pirates, enjoy the downhill, get to mum and dad. On the route home I was really suffering, clearly paying for what had so far been a pretty fast bike section (especially given my expectations!). I was well and truly in the hurtbox until I passed my friend and he caught me up to shout some motivation from his car. I was back in the game and nearly off the bike.
A few killer speedbumps, a little dusty trail, and I was back. Against all expectations, I’d averaged above 15 mph. Not just by a little, I’d made 17.31 mph. How the hell this happened, I don’t know. But I’m putting a lot of it down to the power of the black and yellow.
Bike: 6:28:10
T2
By now my mood was hitting a massive high, and I didn’t want to change anything. Shoes were a necessity, and I decided I’d look silly running in my helmet, but everything else was untouched for a reasonable T2 time.
T2: 3:03
Run
So the first necessary change was losing the arm warmers. Into the pocket they went. As I could now take gels more easily I tried to revert to plan A. Bad move. The stomach was suffering, the energy faded away, and I started to run-walk very soon. What started as 5-1 running had rapidly become 2-3 and I was beginning to lose faith. I’d pushed it too hard on the bike, and I was going to finish, but it wasn’t to be pretty. Stupid idiot. I had lots of support, from pirates galore (by this point though my brain was a bit too frazzled to respond with much more than a grin/grimace), family and friends. But I was really suffering. And then came Madlot.
Madlot needs singling out here. I actually can’t remember who caught who, but I presume he must have caught me because I can’t have been moving quickly. At first, we exchanged the same niceties as with every fleeting conversation, and whilst they perk you up a little, this bloke wasn’t going to stop there. I haven’t had lengthy conversation with him before, but he felt like an old friend when he said “We’re going to finish this f***er. And we’re gonna run.” Well I said I’d run with him for as far as I could. And what happened was a revelation; by breaking rhythm less I felt better. I switched from gels to water and flat coke, and only walked the aid stations. The sun was beating down, but we kept stride for several miles. And during those miles I did a complete U-turn, I wasn’t going to have to walk. I could run. I was going to finish, and finish well. This resulted in an embarrassing amount of grinning. I believe scientists are looking for a new term to summarise just how happy I felt, so if anybody has any ideas please contribute them.
SE’s Award #4: Hero of the Day – Cometh the hour, Cometh the Madlot. Cheers buddy!
Final lap, and as we passed through the busy end of the lake for the penultimate time, my support pushed me on and on, and I found a spring in my step. God knows how, in 5 years of running I’ve never had a bloody spring in my step. But as we started the final out and back, Monique flew past looking super strong. Madlot was clearly pushing his legs to the limit, and after running with him for a few minutes, I wished him all the best and pushed on. I wanted to catch Mon. I must have run the out leg so damn fast, I was 5m behind her at the far aid station. But try as I might, I couldn’t close the gap. She’s just too damn good. I started to pay for my audacity, and got cramps in my legs. My toes (which I had a problem with after London) hurt like hell. Still there were pirates everywhere and high fives were exchanged, I passed Cornish Digger looking good. By this point my brain was too fried to identify people, so I’m sorry if people just got a generic “Go on Pirate!” but you all looked absolutely stellar out there. Three miles to go and I realised I was looking at sub 12:30. Just one lap of the lake and I was there. A walk through the final aid station was permitted. Then I would run it in. Two steps from crossing the finish line and I was stopped by a shout.
It was only my Dad. With a pint of ice cold lager. Never have I been happier to see that man in all my life. And as for the beer…
Crossing the line, pint in hand, was one of the greatest moments of my life. I’m not generally an emotional guy, but I couldn’t help but be a melting pot of joy, pride, relief, and love (mainly for the beer). I did it. I didn’t do it alone – so thank you to everyone on this good ship, and I look forward to many more adventures beneath the skull and crossbones (if I haven’t outstayed my welcome!).
Thank you one and alla man after my own heart - I did that at Outlaw last year....
well done!
OK here goes, sorry but it’s a long one
Having really enjoyed the Outlaw last year, it was decided that Mrs SA would do it this year and that was all going well until I got one of Funkin’s pictures of me and Jordy crossing the finish line blown up to A0 size and hung up on Jordy’s bedroom wall, every time I went upstairs I saw this picture (which for those that know me is my facebook profile pic)
We had talked about both being able to do IM together at some point, but realized that this would be impossible with someone having to look after Jordy, there just wasn’t enough time available for us both to train, work and have some family time together.
As the months went by Mrs SA started to train getting a good base fitness, I did nothing apart from continue to see this picture, after a while of constant looking at this picture we had hanging up I blurted out that “I want to do it again.”
I came up with a hair brained training plan that allowed Mrs SA to train, me to train and to have some family time (sleep, who needs that and its over rated), got the buy in from Mrs SA (blind trust is a wonderful thing).
Training was going really well and I was confident that I could better last years time of 14:10 especially as I had quit my 20 a day habit. I was swimming better and faster, biking was stronger and faster, running was well, erm, about the same.
July came about all to quick and finished work on the Wednesday and started get stuff ready, set of early Saturday for the drive across to Notthingham, registered, got the bikes out the car and reassembled them, off to racking when met Flat Footed, Madlot, Jordly, AJH. Got stopped by an elderly couple out for a bike ride round the lake asking if they could borrow a bike pump, we must have kind faces. Eventually got racked after having to go back to the car because I had forgotten to put the number stickers on the bikes or helmets, school boy error that one.
Then off to the hotel 10 minutes away, booked in and go to Asda to stock up on breakfast for tomorrow morning.
Had our usual pre race meal the night before Steak and chips with a couple of pints.
Settled down and tried to get some sleep at 8:30, (thank dog for black out curtains).
Fell asleep straight away but woke up some 3 hours latter with a dark sense of foreboding and a lot of negative thoughts, which is unlike me, struggled to get back to sleep.
Alarm went off at 3, shower, try and eat the ham, cheese and pickle baguette, toilet time.
Got to Holme Pierpoint at about 4 down to the bikes, bottles on, bento box filled up, faff about a bit with the bike computer. Meet STIL, found some quiet space upstairs and managed to try and focus while Mrs SA made countless trips to the bathroom.
Wandered down to the change tents where we bumped into Dr M, Melli, FF again, Slowengineer and Monique, Mrs SA still making trips back and forth the toilet. Wetsuit on, down to the start, into the water, slowest pen, meet Colourin and Happychap in the water, 3minutes to go shout went up.
The hooter went and this is were it all went wrong, you are meant to swim out of the pen and head up slowly make your way over to the left hand side, this is not the pirate way for me, I somehow managed to swim out of the pen then make a 90 degree left turn, I thought it was strange when I noticed everyone swimming in a different direction to me, I then started scraping my hands along the bottom, this caused me to look up just in time for me to swimming straight to the edge of the lake. I set off again but this time in a right hand diagonal direction that had a canoeist waving for me to get back in line, I can’t quite understand what happened but I just couldn’t swim in a straight line, so zigzagged all the way up, got to the turn around and set off back, strange that all the way up I was with other swimmers but on the way back no one, couldn’t quite decide if as I was by myself that I was either in the lead or last, thought it must have been the latter as I could see the leaders already off on their bikes, either they had a great swim or I’m having a mare, decided that it must be me having a mare as I seemed to have got my own private canoe escort back to the finish.
Finally staggered out of the water in 1:37 which was terrible as last year did 1:29 and this year wanted 1:25 still any way wetsuit off and into transition.
I am still trying to get my head round what happened in T1 as I got my change bag sat down and did nothing I just sat there thinking I don’t want to do this any more.
Gave myself a bit of a talking too and eventually got my bike stuff on and headed out, perked up a bit when I saw that Mrs SA’s bike had already gone, good she is doing well.
The first 10 miles of the bike I hated as it took every thing I had to stop myself turning round and riding back.
Seeing the first pirate marshal really helped, I think it was Colourin’s other half Marcus and he gave me a great pirate shout, after that I settled down a bit, past the pirate feed station which was great. Eventually caught up with Mrs SA at 35 miles, checked she was OK and cracked on, past the pirate feed station for the second time I said “that hill is a leg breaker” to which I got a chorus of “HTFU” cheers guys, really enjoyed the downhill past the feed station and into Southwell the crowd support was really good on all the laps. On the last lap the hill at Oxton bank became quite tough and I almost had to get off and walk but just in time I saw one of our signs “It’s not a knitting club” that really spurred me on “I’m a pirate and I don’t quit” the guy behind me wasn’t and did. Past the feed station for the last time, enjoyed the long downhill again, the wind had really picked up now and half the lap was spent grinding away trying to make some progress, finished the last of the lap and then had the drag back to Holme Pierpoint, I found the road condition terrible and had a sore bottom.
Eventually got to the bike finish and done 7:13 for the bike which once again was worse than last year (6:57) but just the run left. Set off on the run and just like last year my core temperature went through the roof, I seriously considered going to sit down in the lake I felt that hot. I knew at this point it was all about survival and I’ll take the finish, a finish is a finish in my book and I will take that with the pirate point thank you very much, my thoughts at this time once again turned to how Mrs SA was going on, and then on the other side of the lake I could this person waving like a manic at me, “Fucking Brilliant” I shouted Mrs SA was off the bike and only about 1 mile behind me, this was a massive relief for me as I knew that the bike was what she was most worried about, right there and then I knew we would both finish.
At the run turn around I knew that I only had a few minutes until I would be giving Mrs SA a massive hug, I think that was the fastest I ran all day. We decided that we finish together and we would wait for each other at the 20 mile point. I got there first but then got bored waiting so ran back to Mrs SA, we then did the last 6 miles together.
Now for anyone that was there last year and saw my finish with Jordy well this year for me anyway more than matched that because not only did I have my special son with me I also had my soul mate, my best friend, my wife, that was so special to me.
Over the finish and was a 2 time iron distance finisher.
Just after the finish there was another pirate, who did something so special for us, that as long as I race I will always wear the infamous black and yellow, thanks to my brother in arms CAKE you know what you did.
Into the food tent to try and get something to eat, when Jaffa wondered over had a chat.
Words can not decide the emotions I went through that day, buy I went from the worst of days to the best of days.
I love being a pirate, you guys truly do rock the world.
You lot are making it sound far too easy
Fab, fab, fab reports. Very inspirational all of them.
Loving the Slow and Slower double-act.
Many congratulations to all finishers - and well done to all the feed station volunteers.