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Things you want to say but can't
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LOL Mrs TP - my brother only tries it on when he is desperate and he has borrowed so much of friends he dared try them - he still knows he is onto a loser though
As for the job the second part of the assessment should have been this weekend and at a specific event - i will ask for feedback next week since it was a job that I know I would have enjoyed and been really good at so I need to make sure the next time one comes up I give that impression at interview
Dear clients and colleagues of Korea.
I can truly say i have enjoyed flying halfway round the world, away from home and family, to be worked like a fucking dog for the last 10 days. I particularly appreciate the fact that I have dragged your arses out of the shit and not had a word of thanks or support beyond, "just do it - by tomorrow".
So, my parting message to you is fuck off, I won't be back - get another fucking mug to abuse.
Twats.
Goldbeetle - you didn't get away it.
We clock it and "store it up" to use against you at a later date.
Dear Liverbird,
Please stop divulging our game plan to members of the opposite sex.
Az
x
Dear Furniture Shops (yes, all of them),
Instead of offering me coffee, cookies and delivery within a week, I suggest that you start stocking products that I would be interested in buying. That way you are more likely to make a sale and earn some commission as well as making me a happy customer that will come back again.
stop charging so much for tickets; it is a bloody disgrace that you expect us to pay so much.
You suck.
Unkind regards,
Pea
Teenage girls.. being pregnant so young is not cool, its just stupid. You're too young to be having sex anyway and obviously too stupid to be responsible for a baby as otherwise you wouldn't have got pregnant. You're just going to be a crap parent, be a burden on your family and yet you will still demand your 'rights' to a council house. You stupid little bitch. Grow up.
Men in general.. stop trying to shag the teenage girl.. just go and buy some Kleenex and sort yourself out. If no one shags her until she is old enough and sensible then she won't get pregnant. You sick perve.
Dear people (and companies) who withhold or block their phone number so it doesn't show up on a phone...
No.. I'm not going to answer the phone.. phoning me 50 times still won't make me pick up. Why the fuck should I answer the phone..? If you feel the need to withhold your number, I can feel the need to not pick up.. or listen to voice-mail. You are not important. You just think you are. Stop being so precious.
Dear Albert
My company's phone system withholds our numbers on outgoing calls. There's nothing I personally can do about it. Feel free not to answer, but don't draw conclusions about my personality.
Dear Retailers,
Its September. Its a LONG time until Christmas. Stop fucking telling me order now before Christmas etc.. just go and take decorations, cards and wrapping off the shelves and wait. You spoil the whole thing. You ram the commercialism down our throats so much that by the time it really is Christmas I'm sick of it.
Thank you.
Good point. I have edited accordingly.
Dear bloke dry humping me on the dance floor.
You're batting above your average. But full marks for trying.
Dear stupid people who live just down the road from me.. you know the house.. the one that still has the white St.George flag hanging underneath the front bedroom window and an abandoned car in the front garden.. it is good to see that you have at least started to maintain the windows on your house but can I suggest that they should be painted white or left as natural wood and not painted that shite colour blue that matches your front door, gutters and garage door. Thank you.
Ughhhh.....
LOL!
He was young enough to be my son too Corrie!
There is a house near me with painted Dunlop Green Flash green...not too near fortunately.
Dude what the hell were you thinking?
I can borderline tolerate 10 minutes after a meal, but even then its pretty ugly.
Please stop, hearing slurps and slunches non stop all day is f++king irritating.
Dear debt collecting people
What makes you think I will respond to your 20th letter when I have ignored your previous 30. What makes you think I will give out personal information in answer to 'security' questions when you don't identify yourself first - even if you did I would just tell you to fuck off. Why do you expect people to take threats of legal action seriously when ignoring the previous 10 such threats resulted in a 'hey limited time 70% discount offer' letter. If you are desperate enought to offer that much discount you know you are on a sticky wickett. Why haven't you cottened on the idea that the world in general is much more switched on to your lies and so tough shite your profits are going to go downand spotty sixteen year olds who man your phones won't be having sunny holidays next year. How can you sleep at night when some of your spotty teenagers have bullied and scared the old and depressed into paying back more than they can afford, sopmetimes for debts that aren't even theirs because you don't do your tracing properly - no matter what the debt is for food comes first
note - the current debt I am being chased for was settled By the creditor 12 mnonths ago when the bastards had to pay me more PPi back than I owed - I am happy to let the wankers waste their time for now
Time the government sorted the sordid industry out
Dear Boss
If you leave me alone to get on with it, I might get it finished for your spurious deadline. If you keep arranging meetings to discuss (again) how it is progressing, I won't have enough time to do it and no, I can't work overtime to get it finished as a result.
When you promise a customer something on Monday, does it even occur to you who has to do the work, how long it might take or whether they have the time to do this. It's not a big deal to actually ring the department and speak to the minions to confirm whether it's possible first so they don't get it in the neck from the customer when they can't deliver.