Things you want to say but can't

Nessie

["Struggling to grasp basic concepts"?]

JT141

You want to stick a chicken in a duck in a turkey? You fucking maniac.

[Deleted User]

I really don't give a shit about the boyfriend of the daughter of an ex-US President. Call yourself a journalist? You're just a gossip.

RicF

On reflection, I shouldn't have said your dog was doing it's job when it attacked me for no reason at all. Instead; should it happen again, I'll quietly go back into the depths of the woods, select a suitable weapon, and return and smash that heap of shit over the head with it.
And if you object, I'll weigh up my chances of detection and then decide if you get the same.
That's what happens when you interfere with a psychopath minding his own business.

JT141

To the cyclist on the shared path last night with no lights and on his phone (already four corners for anyone playing "twat on a bike" bingo) who nearly rode into me and then had a temper tantrum and challenged me to a fight, I hope you bump into Ric deep in the woods one day.

RicF

JT141 said:

To the cyclist on the shared path last night with no lights and on his phone (already four corners for anyone playing "twat on a bike" bingo) who nearly rode into me and then had a temper tantrum and challenged me to a fight, I hope you bump into Ric deep in the woods one day.

I have a spade there already and waiting. 
Another won't make any difference.

senidM

FFS, a minor royal getting engaged to some american divorcee is not 15 minute+ of headline news!!!!!!!

Surely to whatever deity might exist this is not NEWS, there must be something thats happened in the world thats a bit more important.

I despair

[Deleted User]

senidM said:

FFS, a minor royal getting engaged to some american divorcee is not 15 minute+ of headline news!!!!!!!

Surely to whatever deity might exist this is not NEWS, there must be something thats happened in the world thats a bit more important.

I despair

I share your despair. Poverty, ecological destruction, disease resistant antibiotics, terrorism.... Oh hang on a minute hold the front page, spoilt rich kid and b-list actress are getting married.

RicF

I over heard something about a birth. Is she already pregnant?

JT141

RicF said:

Someone on another thread reckons that I am a 'cock'.

Was reading through the Brexit thread and happened on an old post calling me a boring, self indulgent hack who'd kiss his own stupid inflated head if he could. Never noticed that at the time. I've had a rough day and now I'm being harassed from 2016. But yes, right on the mouth.

Little Nell

JT141 said:

Was reading through the Brexit thread and happened on an old post calling me a boring, self indulgent hack who'd kiss his own stupid inflated head if he could. Never noticed that at the time. I've had a rough day and now I'm being harassed from 2016. But yes, right on the mouth.

If it helps JT - I've got a weird "school-girl" crush on you based on your perspicacity, erudition and huge wit!

HazelnutCH

Unlurks! 

Hey! Hands off LN - he's mine!

No - I do like reading JT's posts as well - they often brighten up my day..

Cheerful Dave

Little Nell said:

JT141 said:

Was reading through the Brexit thread and happened on an old post calling me a boring, self indulgent hack who'd kiss his own stupid inflated head if he could. Never noticed that at the time. I've had a rough day and now I'm being harassed from 2016. But yes, right on the mouth.

If it helps JT - I've got a weird "school-girl" crush on you based on your perspicacity, erudition and huge wit!

I don't know about a crush but his huge erudition is much admired.

Nessie

JT141

Well, this is more awkward than being called a c*nt.

[Deleted User]

You're a policeman and you're asking me for "Discount for cash?" I don't think a copper should be encouraging the crime of tax evasion.

JT141

When a problem arises that is going to be a pain in the arse to fix, incessant hysterical babble and asking pointless questions about which you neither understand nor care and that lead to no solutions is not a help. Please piss off and have your inane tantrum somewhere else while I sort it out.

Screamapillar

If I find you've bought me a bunch of shit I don't want instead of stuff from my wish list I swear it's going straight to the charity shop without passing "go". One of you actually does it every fucking year and it's going to start being reciprocated if it happens again.

Screamapillar

So when your colleague is asked to follow things up and doesn't nothing happens. I'm wondering why this seems to have come as a surprise to you but it's helpful that you can now see why we think he's a lazy scrote.

Madbee

If you want me to know something or do something, talk to me. If you want someone else to
know something or do something, tell them. I'm not a fecking pigeon.

Screamapillar

Dear racist "customer",

We don't care that you don't want to shop with us. In fact our opinion is that you should fuck off and die.

Sincerely yours

The team.

Peter Everitt

What is it with young teenage lads who feel the need to cycle in groups doing wheelies down the middle of the road? If you fall off, which is a distinct possibility, don't go blaming responsible road users if you get squished.

JT141

There's no sadder sight than an underpaid overworked supermarket cashier in a flashing jumper and reindeer antlers.

Dustin

Yes it's snowing, I can see that.
So facebook friends (6 so far this morning), I do not need "It's snowing" updates. 
Strange as it clearly is to you, snow frequently falls in winter. I eagerly await "sun is shining" posts in June.

[Deleted User]

Star Wars: The Last Jedi... How did Disney manage to make possibly the worst Star Wars movie ever? Plot holes big enough to drive the Death Star through, virtually every alien in it just there for comedy value and chunks of scenes from Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi cut and pasted badly into a totally unrealistic timeline.

RicF

Disney knows it's audience Mr Worry. It's designed that film around the principle that those supposedly watching it are in fact spending most of the time playing with their phones. 

RicF

Hold the front page New Zealand style.


Yes!
It really was the front page of the New Zealand's national paper.

JT141

Stop putting your kids on the phone. I don't want to spend time struggling to get coherent perfunctory conversation out of them before they wander off. Considering they're children of the smartphone age they're fucking hopeless at talking into the things.

Little Nell

Urrgghhhh - I don't know what's happened to you, you're impossible to talk to these days! I'm trying to ask you to pass on a message to my little brother and mid-way through you suddenly say you can see the the neighbours are going out and she's got a hat on... WTF!?

JT141

In his T-Rex show Chris Packham described 10mph as "the speed of a jogging human". Jogging? If I were traveling at sub6min/miles and someone called me a jogger I'd slap them in the face. Rather than super predator let's describe the T-Rex as a little bit bitey.