Things you want to say but can't

JT141

With regards to Tit for Tat theory, if you get your boobs out at a car boot sale you can negotiate substantial discounts.

RicF

Needless to say I can afford not to go scavenging at car boot sales.

Ynnec

It seems Mr Wolfe has a humour bypass.

Direct Line do not approve.

JT141

My local tattooist accepts small garden birds as payment.

JT141

No more puns. Years ago I read a US article on game theory and prisoners dilemma which went into great depth on a specific episode of UK game show Goldenballs. The final Split or Steal went on for some time and involved a studio break (it was heavily edited down for broadcast). Anyway, here's what happened - https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=S0qjK3TWZE8

JT141

I find it hard to know when to stop writing banananas.

RicF

The Wolfe was (can do) character in Pulp Fiction, brought back to life a couple of decades later by Direct Line. 

Don't know about that JT.

But I am amused by the skit in the film Bananas where Woody Allen buys porn.
I'd link to it, but haven't mastered that bit of tech.

Ynnec

RicF said:

The Wolfe was (can do) character in Pulp Fiction, brought back to life a couple of decades later by Direct Line. 

Everyone over the age of 35-40 (I'm 46) knows that.

JT141

Fine footballer he may be but Harry Kane still looks like Rodney Trotter fucked an Easter Island statue.

RicF

It's gone a bit quiet around here. I wonder why?

JT141

It appears England fan celebrations have slipped into "full wanker" mode.

RicF

I agree with you there JT.



Once this lot get a few too many drinks down them. No guessing what they'll get up to.

Simon Coombes 2

Yes. that very small percentage of me not being arsed about England winning the world cup is getting bigger. Suppose with my team, Bournemouth, being in the PL..I've seen it all already. England winning the WC will be small fry..

CotswoldRunner

You are an idiot and a coward. Your opinion is asked constantly on important decisions and you never offer anything useful, ever. You leave the responsibility to everyone else and then you start sniping and moaning once the decision is made and it's too late to change anything. It's quite pathetic to witness.

JT141

CotswoldRunner said:

You are an idiot and a coward. Your opinion is asked constantly on important decisions and you never offer anything useful, ever. You leave the responsibility to everyone else and then you start sniping and moaning once the decision is made and it's too late to change anything. It's quite pathetic to witness.

This is pretty much every political figure that supported Brexit.

Guarddog

You have overseen the worst performance I can recall. You have heaped misery upon misery on countless number of people who ask you to do one simple thing. It's not just that you're a complete waste of space, there are things I would scrape off of my shoe that have more ability to do your job than you do.

And then I see you hand the winner's trophy out at the British Grand Prix and figure you probably didn't get there by train. 

skotty

Guarddog said:

You have overseen the worst performance I can recall. You have heaped misery upon misery on countless number of people who ask you to do one simple thing. It's not just that you're a complete waste of space, there are things I would scrape off of my shoe that have more ability to do your job than you do.

And surprisingly during a major championship finals the target here is not the England manager. 

Guarddog

skotty said:

Guarddog said:

You have overseen the worst performance I can recall. You have heaped misery upon misery on countless number of people who ask you to do one simple thing. It's not just that you're a complete waste of space, there are things I would scrape off of my shoe that have more ability to do your job than you do.

And surprisingly during a major championship finals the target here is not the England manager. 

"My sweet Nord"

JT141

England fans are like the divorcee whose wife walked out years ago, but every time the doorbell goes they still think it might be her. It's not coming home. It's never coming home. It does not live here.

RicF

Sounds like 'Rocks in the Ocean' by Al Stewart, JT.

JT141

It is of course mock peevish pessimism because I really want England to win and/or my ex-wife to come back.

JT141

Tennis is boring.

Ynnec

ahmed11 said:

you guys are moron

Anyone for irony?

JT141

To be fair the convo is bullshit and we are moron.

senidM

I think if I was going to post gratuitous insults to other people on this thread implying they might not be as intelligent as myself I would at least attempt to use correct grammar.

I think it should have been

"This conversation is bullshit, you guys are moronic"

Which, as JT41 points out is perfectly fair comment, but perhaps put by someone slightly more moronic that those he purports to criticize?

JT141

A friend of mine used to say on such occasions, "someone's left the stupid tap running".

They're dead now sadly. Ironically enough from drowning.

Not really.

JT141

senidM said:

...perhaps put by someone slightly more moronic that those he purports to criticise...

Oh fuck you senidM 

JT141

^
Does this come across alright? I've got a virus at the moment and on top of ripping my lungs and sinuses to shreds I have symptoms of lost tone when trying to be playful and humorous rather than offensive, and excessive over-explaining of myself.

senidM

Well, not really, but if anyone takes offence on a forum like this, should they be here? And I kind of miss Screama, did RicF really get him/her/wotever barred?

JT141

Sorry. I threw some emojis in but it didn't help.
Scream's not banned. I guess just exceeded his/her patience and is having a sabbatical.

Speaking of offence I was reading about Piers Morgan's run in with someone who called him a cunt. That he took to social media to complain about this event demonstrates the civility of the British public as I'd assumed "cunt" would be permanent background noise for him whenever he stepped out the house.