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Whats the biggest whopping lie someone has told you...
in Clubhouse
I've had some liars tell me some whoppers in my time but the one which springs to mind is a friend of ours who is of a thespian bent (wayheyy!!) who told us that he knew Cliff Richard and the secret to his thinness was that he actually had a colostomy bag!! 
and could only eat one tiny meal a day- now the thing is that he did know some actual celebrities (a very thin model of the sixties comes to mind - I've seen letters she and her hubby sent to him) so this lent the story a certain ring of truth - but seriously!! LIES!!
You?
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My dad told me that my mam had cooked our pet rabbit. The same day he had rabbit pie they'd actually given the rabbit away to some friends of theirs, because they got sick of asking me and my sis to clean out the hutch.
I didn't find out the truth till much much later
He does have a kind of quirky sense of humour
My grandad told me that he was a cowboy and that the horse brasses he had hanging on the wall were from his horse. I believed him for years, and many many years later when my granma died I got the brasses and they now hang by my fireplace - I think of him in Clint Eastwood getup every time I see them.
Every time my sister and I get together, we stage for the benefit of Muttley Jnr an argument about who went out to the shed more often to get coal for the steam-driven television when we were kids.
He pretends not to believe us but we can see he's not sure ...
There is no Santa and the Easter Bunny doesn't exist either. My Mum told me these whoppers when I was three, the things you have kids believe.
Oh and all the usual relationship stuff - she's just a friend, I was passed out on her sofa, we're moving in different directions, of course there's no one else.
I love you.
Now get em off....
Aaah.... fairies!
I told my kids that the fairies who make Christmas presents live in the foodcourt at Cheshire Oaks and the doors you can see in the air (that lead to nowhere) were where they slept at night and when the clock strikes midnight, the doors fly open and the fairies come out for food!
They are still not sure if its true, but they told all their friends for YEARS!
I loved the whole Santa thing when I was wee, and it has been so lovely watching my nieces get ridiculously excited about him coming
I would love to contribute to this discussion - but I am seriously concerned that death might hamper my ambitions to run a sub 4 hr marathon.
Oh - just remembered this one (political so I may survive):
Good luck their's no money left!!!
Oops - sorry that wasn't a lie, that was the only bloody truth anyone from the labour party ever told. The lie came in the 13 years leading up to it.
No I am not bitter (spot the fib there).
In the starting pen.
'It's a flat course'
Biggest lie:
The ring was a present from my mother and I wear it on my wedding ring finger because it had been her father's wedding ring...
b**tard....
... followed by the even better (from same man)..... it's my friends baby. I'm just looking after her for him...
I am older and wiser now.
When I was a little girl, my Dad did the thing where you can make your own phone ring (remember that? What number did we dial?) and then contrived for me to answer the phone while he was on another extension and he pretended he was Rod Stewart and we sang 'Sailing' together. I was probably late teens before I clocked that one.
He also told me that when you weren't very well if you spat phlegm down the toilet it was good for the sewage system??? I think I was mid 20s on that one.
There are probably more, I basically believed everything my Daddy told me.
I had a long term relationship with a man who lied about his age and told me the day before his 37th birthday that it was actually his 40th and he cried.
My ex told me that the beach at Eastbourne was no longer stony because they'd shipped over a load of sand from the Isle of Wight. When I went down and saw the stony, beach, I was very disappointed, but couldn't react because then he's have known that i'd believed him!
Lol Torque!!! Only the numpties (i.e. Blair & his cronies) were daft enough to believe that
*wonders what filth is on GP's link as work firewall is banning it
"
"Yes, love, I have paid the council tax, the rent, the phone bill and the cable TV bill. This month, and every other month we've been living together. And yes, I will get a job and stop sponging off you/the state soon. Oh, and no I didn't spend the money your parents gave us for a washing machine on porn and chatlines. "
*breathes*
And repeat:
I'm well rid of him now
I'm well rid of him now
I'm well rid of him now
Phew!
Edit: for about half a year I did believe him. I was young, naive and very ill at the time. But then Telewest (and others) started ringing me up "about my arrears" (everything was in my name because - guess what - matey had such a poor credit record) and I suddenly realised the extent to which I was being ripped off...
All in the distant past now.
When I was wee I used to believe that if you made a funny face outside, and the wind changed direction and blew past, your face would stick in that pose! Even though it never happened of course, I still had this vague fear, and even now that thought pops into my head if I feel a strong wind on my face!!! That must be the best thing about being a parent, filling your kids' heads with nonsense and having a chuckle about it!
Two people I can instantly think of. One was an ex and one an ex female friend.
The ex had a huge inferiority complex which had developed into some sort of ‘pigs might fly’ syndrome where virtually every aspect of life had become huuuugely exaggerated in an attempt to make himself interesting or create an impression of success in various area of life. Harmless overall but gets irritating.
The ex female friend must have had proper Munchhausens or something. She would make up proper ‘cry wolf’ crisis situations where she would claim to be very very ill for example and would lap up all the attention of the people who were falling over backwards to assist. The cream was when she claimed her boyfriend was beating her up and I lent her heaps of money to be able to move out and get her own place etc, just to find it was all a load of shit and she used the money to buy various luxury items etc. I made her pay me back and never spoke to her again.