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It can lend to massive mis-understandings through pop's. Personally I never let a female friend walk home late at night because old fashioned in someways and would be very upset if something ever happened to then on the way home. This has at times been misunderstond.
Luckily I can run quick.
People do like to be liked Pop.
I remember a few years ago a lady at work had a bit of a crush on me. She was a bit of an oddball and not someone I would fancy, but pleasant enough. I remember telling a friend and was a bit jokey about it (being a bit of an arse truth be told) and he said it was still nice that someone looks at you like that. He was right and since then if anyone shows an interest, regardless of who they are, I take it as a compliment even if I don't reciprocate the feelings.
Nam wrote (see)
A girl at the gym fell for me once... I still thought it was flattering...
maybe she thought you were Dave?
*runs off very fast*
I am forever falling foul of the mistaking friendliness for something more, especially in work related situations. My industry is fairly male dominated, and I go to a lot of meetings & conferences where women are very much in the minority. Now I'm a outgoing and friendly sort of soul and I've lost count of the number of times where I've suddenly realised that this is being construed as a lot more by the bloke I am chatting to. I am sure I am not flirting, I'm just being me.
It is a little bit flattering but it's a bit tiresome too as it's work stuff and I would never get involved with anyone work or even industry related.
Shame I don't seem to have the same sort of effect on men in non-work situations
Badly Drawn Bloke wrote (see)
I'm not looking for a father figure - I prefer younger men.
Yeah me too BDB. (Except when they get a bit stalky, which has happened on a couple of occasions.)
Tickled Pink wrote (see)
I think it's sad when people have to adjust their behaviour just because others think they are flirting. If I'm a bit flirty, I usually don't actually mean anything by it. It's just part of getting along and enjoying someone's company to me.
Of course you need to safeguard yourself, but if someone else turns into an arse because of the way you behave, that's their problem IMHO.
Yeah I agree with you (again!) BDB. Flirty/cheeky behaviour is sometimes in order, fun and right for the occasion. I just feel a bit vulnerable sometimes because I'm a woman, so I have to watch things don't go to far in terms of being misunderstood (like you say safeguard yourself).
... and yes it's their problem if they decide to get sulty/stroppy/arsey. I don't think people should have to muffle their personalities.
Actually, I have come a cropper too so now I'm a bit more aware and turn it down if needs be.
What can we say Cake? We're obviously just too darn irresistible.
@ Min. Wonder how he explained you away .... the cad!
Flirting is tricky, because I always wonder if someone is just generally flirty by nature, and is only being friendly, or whether they're generally flirting because they quite like me. Although i'm usually very optimistic in life (apart from the odd stressful day!), i'm much more of a pessimist when it comes to this sort of thing, and tend to err on the side of assuming a guy is just being friendly. Usually when there is a genuine spark, it is easier to recognise what's happening, and things take their course.
I wonder though if I just over think things, because guaranteed if i'm out and about and not even thinking about blokes for one second, and just chatting & being friendly, that's when i'm likely to actually meet someone and something will happen!!! Though i hasten to add, this hasn't happened for aaaages *sighs*
TP, have you rustled up Javier yet?!?! *drums fingers on table*
Interesting point about not muffling personalities...
I recently realised that what I actually find really really attractive is someone who is just comfortable in their own skin and doesn't pretend to be anything that he isn't, someone who doesn't 'put on a personality' and when you scratch the surface you find out it's all a load of rubbish...
Over the years there is something about "the great pretenders" that has really grown to irritate me and it's a trait I really can't stand.
However, the calm confidence that comes from someone who is just true to himself is really sexy.
popsider wrote (see)
I'm sure they are Lee - maybe more likely to be if they got the impression you liked them. People like being liked don't they. It makes someone seem more attractive you think they find you attractive. I think that's why some people get a lot of unwanted attention - they inadvertantly give off signals they fancy the person they are talking to when they are just being friendly - unfortunately not a problem I've ever had to face.
I'm sure they are Lee - maybe more likely to be if they got the impression you liked them. People like being liked don't they.
It makes someone seem more attractive you think they find you attractive. I think that's why some people get a lot of unwanted attention - they inadvertantly give off signals they fancy the person they are talking to when they are just being friendly - unfortunately not a problem I've ever had to face.
Merrylegs wrote (see)
ps why cant I get it to copy and paste properly ??