should I live alone?

Hi everyone, I’m in need of some opinions….

I’m moving out of my flat soon as there’s been a long list of problems that the agency haven’t fixed. Building work has also started next door so there’s crashing and banging all day long. Basically enough is enough.

I’m trying to decide if I should go for another house share or live by myself. So far, I’ve lived in some great house shares, some hideous ones, small ones, big ones and ones in between.

I like the idea of having a whole flat to myself and being a bit self indulgent. But I’m also worried about the cost of paying for everything by my self; the electricity, gas, broadband, the whole lot. Plus, there’s the boredom and loneliness. I’m fine spending a week on my own if my flatmate goes on holiday but could I handle it for 6 months?! Plus I’m single too. Is this the first step to being an anti social old spinster?!

Should I try something new or go for another house share that could open up a whole new group of friends to me. And let’s face it, we all need friends!

Views, opinions and experiences most welcome.

Thanks,
L.

Comments

  • Do it do it do it do it.

    I think everyone should live on their own at least once in their lifetime. 

    Get an idea from a friend in a flat how much it all costs and get your bills set up to pay a set amount every month so you're not hit with a huge gas bill in the winter, for example. 

    Re bored and lonely... You'll probably make more effort to see friends if you don't have ready made company at home, so actually it's a good thing. I think I was more sociable as a result. 

    Living on my own (was also single) was a great experience. You can do what you want, when you want. Be as messy/tidy as you want, and generally please yourself. You learn lots about yourself and for me, because I learnt to like myself and do things for me, I ended up getting together with my now hubby image

    Be warned though, you may never want to share again having had your own space...

  • I shared a flat many, many years ago. and I'd rather live in a broom cupboard than do that again.

    I have friends.  I see them when I want to, not because I have to 'cos we share a kitchen.

    I can doss on the sofa in my underwear (or naked) without fear of putting anyone off their dinner.

    Those annoying habits that people have - flicking channels on the tv, putting the radio on when you want quiet, leaving stuff all over the place, chattering inanely about Eastenders, Big Brother, or X Factor?  They don't happen when you live by yourself image

    I live on my own, and have done for nearly seven years. I would only live with someone I love now (and that does not include my family!)

  • Nut up - don't be so daft re the old spinster thing image - being on your own gives you massive independance and you don't need to deal with housemates and their mess/noise/ etc etc. I love living on my own and certainly don't see it as a trip down spinster lane but grown up lane.

    You need to work out if you can afford it first or your question is a non starter, it can be a bit of a squeeze at first but you soon adapt.

    Can have people over when i like, i too make more of an effort to get out and do other things but also cherish shutting the door on the world and sinking into the bath with my music on and no one to disturb! Oooh I love it!

  • If you work out the finances and find that it's feasible then go for it.   It's not something I have ever done myself as I met my hubby when we were 17 and bought out first flat together at 19........when the house is full of kids and their friends, I would so love to live on my own!image

    I'm not sure I would have wanted to house share and put up with those annoying habits that some folk have..........it's bad enough putting up with the bad habits of those you love.

  • Yes, I love living on my own, for all the reasons Pink mentions.

    I love my own space and love the fact I can come and go as I please (with only the dog to answer to).

    I wouldn't say I'm that gregarious, but am very sociable and have plenty of friends, both local and around the country.... I have a terrific social life when I want it and solitude when I don't. My social circle has changed quite significantly since I've lived alone... many of my once single friends have now settled down so I don't see them quite as often as I used to, but plenty of new friends have come into my life over the last few years and the fact that I live alone hasn't hindered that process.... in fact I'm more likely to push myself to go out and socialise than if I had ready-made company at home.

    I'm happily single, and I think living alone has given me vastly more independence and the realisation that I can be happy in that situation... I don't necessarily need a relationship to be happy.

    ... actually I could have posted this in the "relationships" thread !

    X-post with everyone above, but I think we're all saying the same thing, finances permitting. image

  • Age and Income were the two factors that made my mind up to get my own place. In my 3 houseshares I'd enjoyed the companionship and sharing the burden of household chores and costs, but there came a point where I just felt too old for that 'lifestyle' (I was 32image). Fortunately my income and savings had reached the level where I could just about scrape together the deposit for a mortgage on a one bedroom flat. Getting my own place really made me feel like a proper grown-up with the independence and responsibilities that it brings.  Took a bit of getting used to living alone, but if anything it gave me more of an incentive to get out and about and do stuff, meet people, seek out old pals etc.

    Good luck with whetever you decideimage

    Edit: Watched back-to-back episodes of Men Behaving Badly last night. Ahhh the memories of a blokey houseshareimage

  • Oh, and you NEVER have to wait with your legs crossed while someone else finishes their bath image

    And no-one 'borrows' your food/CDs/clothes.

    No-one wakes you up by crashing around coming home late/getting up early.

    You can have loud sex without embarrassement image

  • If you can afford it, live alone....
  • Living alone, I think of all the friends I've known...
  • Thanks everyone! Think my mind has kinda been made up but I wanted some reassurance. I can't wait to have a whole place all to myself. No more jostling for space in the fridge, getting passive aggressive over who's turn it is to take out the bins, exactly who borrowed the organic eggs and replaced them with crappy god knows what.

    I've lived with literally every type of person; men, women, gay, straight, black, Brazilian, Spanish, Welsh, muslim, vegetarian, a dog, fish, hamsters, the whole bloody lot! I think at the grand old age of 26, it's time to have a go on my own.

    Got my eye on two places at the moment and left messages for the landlords. Hopefully, they'll call me back soon. Fingers crossed!
  • Been on my own since divorce (well, technically, the off-spring are with me, so not sure if that counts. . .image) but I couldn't imagine going back to living with someone else. 

    Now the only relationship that I can contemplate is one where we both live separately, see each other from time to time, but do not spend all the time in each other's company.

    GFI - living on your own is everything it's cracked up to be - and betterimage.

  • I agree with all of the above, but be warned, living alone is addictive!  You can get very protective of your space! You find yourself inviting a friend over for dinner on a Saturday, tell them they can spend the night, enjoy a bottle of wine etc. Sunday morning you wake up and all you want is for them to leave so you can get back to your comfortable Sunday routine - dressing gown, paper, crap telly, big breakfast.
  • I moved out of my (very close) family home when I was 21, and bought my own flat. There I lived, alone and very happily, until I got married at 27. I was never lonely, but I was always independent.
    Do it.
  • Another vote for getting your own place from me. Living on your own is brilliant.

    As for finances, get another current account with your bank and put x amount of money in there each month for bills and set up all your direct debits. Then whatever's left in the other account is yours to spend as you wish and you don't have to worry about it. 

  • I shared various houses for a period of about 12 years!!  Anything from living in a massive house with 8 others in London to sharing with just 2 mates as postgrads in Cardiff or living with a boyfriend.  I bought my own house in 2002.  Like Jj said I've never been lonely and always independent.

    For me the key thing is choice...  I am not forced to put up with anything that isn't my own doing.  I have complete control over my living environment.  My mess is mine alone and when I clean it up is up to me.  Nobody eats my food...  If I forget to buy bog roll it's my fault etc.

    I can imagine living with a partner again, but I can't imagine ever going back to sharing with friends or strangers.

  • cathyw wrote (see)

    As for finances, get another current account with your bank and put x amount of money in there each month for bills and set up all your direct debits. Then whatever's left in the other account is yours to spend as you wish and you don't have to worry about it. 

    I do exactly the same. Factor in some money each month for car services etc and you're set for the year with hopefully no nasty surprises.

    Good luck finding a place.

  • Speak of finances, also take into accoun how much you need to outlay to get set up. All those little bits, even just the essentials can add up but look out for the bargains.
  • Or ask around at work and friends.  It's amazing how much of those little bits people are replacing and are happy to pass on their still useable stuff to a good home.

    I practically kitted out my first flat from other people's cast offs which did service until I could gradually replace them with what I really wanted. 

    Another vote for living on your own.  Having done flat shares at and post-Uni then living with the former Mr Pink, I've lived more or less alone for the last 18 years.  There's nothing better than being able to have your own space/mess/clutter ... whatever you want.  image

  • I lived on my own for ten years and it was great. As for being lonely I seem to remember a thread where people said how many forumites had visited/stayed at their house and my list was verrryyy long! You can invite people round when you like and there's only the cat to answer to. Mind you, make sure the cat is fairly independent too and doesn't mind the occasional time when you 'forget' to go home image
  • i've been thinking about moving of home and living by myself (similar situation to LP84) and these comments are quite reassuring! image

     Still nervous about the prospect of living on my own though.... (got to find somewhere to live first though)

  • Oh my GOD! The excitement is reaching breaking point! My first choice slap bang in the middle of Chorlton has gone before I could even view. Going to a viewing tonight and I'm so excited I could burst!!

    I know this is what I want and even if I sign the contract this week, it's gonna be 4 weeks before I can leave my current flat.
  • LP84 wrote (see)
    Oh my GOD! The excitement is reaching breaking point! My first choice slap bang in the middle of Chorlton has gone before I could even view.

    That's a shame, but there will be othersimage

    LP84 wrote (see)
     Going to a viewing tonight and I'm so excited I could burst!! I know this is what I want and even if I sign the contract this week, it's gonna be 4 weeks before I can leave my current flat.

    Right, with the Mrs Sensible hat on here, hope you do like it, but make sure you vote with your head and not your heart - if you have any doubts, get a second viewing and take someone else with you.  If it's not quite right, then don't worry, there'll be something better soon.

    Anyhoo, hope it lives up to expectations - can't wait to hear the newsimage.

  • Joining the party late - but I'm another vote for living alone image image

    Done it a couple of times in my life and loved it - Mr F gets homesick for Shropshire quite a lot, so I "encourage" him to go back and visit regularly = a night or two of being on my own, bliss! image

    And BTW, you're just round the corner from me, figuratively speaking, if you mean Chorlton, Manchester - cycle through it every day to get to work.

    Good luck image
  • Living alone is brilliant.  When I split with my ex I lived on my lonesome for a good while, and I found myself more active and more sociable than I'd ever been before.  You tend to make more of an effort to get out and about.

    I also loved lazing about watching Skysports with my cock and balls hanging out whenever I pleased.  (Actually, I did that when I was with her anyway, so scrub that part).

  • I am a mad cat lady, I live alone with my cat

    I am a miserable old cow and I like it  image


















    Then again no one else wants to live in an old house with no heating and round pin plug sockets and a resident tiger
  • Do you really have round pin plugs?  We had them when I was a kid....... and you know how old I am.
  • Yep, they are still in the house although some have been changed over to them modern ones  image
  • Ahhh buggarations! Just got back from the viewing and was a tad disappointed. The flat was a fraction musty smelling and it was a bit old fashioned. The kitchen and bathroom were so cramped it was unbelievable. Plus I don't 'do' carpets. The living room and bedroom was huuuuge but the rest of the flat was pretty average.

    NEXT!

    PS. Does 'studio' flat mean you're gonna wake up in bed looking over at the kitchen bin and fridge? Is there literally no bedROOM?
  • yes thats what a studio is LP84, i live in one myself.

    i usually wake up with a view of a massive boiler  (unless the missus is away) 

  • You might get a separate kitchen in a studio flat but you'll be sleeping in the sitting room.
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