The object to your left



  • It's my phone/fax - I wonder how much damage I could dowith that? image
  • Oh dear!  Beyond the extreme left of the computer screen the next solid object is a wall.  A good temporary defence maybe but harldy a weapon.  If the finger was pointing 30 degrees downwards, that would be the phone.  Presumably all lines of communication would be down by the time the shit really hit the fan, so no use for that and not really heavy enough to clobber a zombie effectively. 

    That basically leaves the option of rotating the laptop 20 degrees so that the finger's pointing to my rucksack, which contains my  running gear.  I guess I could strangle the zombies to death with my chest strap, or just put my trainers on and run. 

    So yeah, I'll go with running shoes.

  • a frigging plant leaf?? what bleeding use is that going to be against the dark forces....

    "come at me with a banana"
  • A book about the history of finance. Maybe I could bore them to death?
    Next to that is a Warhammer rule book (NOT mine!)
    That'll definitely bore them to death!

  • A can of flyspray.

    Not even the good stuff (now banned) that used to drop the blighters instantaneously, but the new 'mildly irritate them til they die of old age' rubbish that you get nowadays...

  • I like this thread image

    To my immediate left is... a banana. Actually, two bananas. Marvellous image

  • The arm of the sofa and a physio band, so I could tie them down and run away image
  • A desk tidy with assorted pens and pencils, couple of rubber bands and some paper clips.

    hmmmm I guess I could fire pencils at them image

  • An apple and a pile of asbestos reports? image
  • You could lure them into an unsafe building with teh apple, then wait for them to die of asbestosis?
  • A Paperchase pen pot decorated with various cutesie li'l figures, filled with ...[counts]...14 variously coloured, metallic and glittery gel pens.

    I guess I could bore them to death with my explanation of why I prefer to fill my notebooks with rainbow thoughts, and sign my name in pretty colours rather than in grown up blue or black.

    Failing that, I could draw them a picture of their multicoloured demise...

    (tis this one, if you're interested...)
  • Remote control

    I will zap 'em with the red blinky light.....


  • A paper tray. I can bore them to re-death...
  • I've formulated a plan for my bananas:

    1. Freeze the bananas and use them as missiles, aiming for the head.

    2. Peel bananas and leave said peel for the zombies to slip on, thus giving me time to run away.

    3. Use bananas to lure a troupe of monkeys, who I can train to protect me.

  • Seems most of us have similar things to the left.

    I have a phone, 2 rolls of packing tape, a tiny stapler, a desk tidy with assorted coloured pens and pencils; pair of scissors; ruler; and a torch. There is also a pair of speakers.

    So, I'll play loud music at them, whilst they're slightly confused by that I shall blind them with the torch then set about tying them up with the packing tape and for good measure, staple their feet to the floor and slap them with the ruler.

    Then I will run away screaming....

  • Can I use a bit of artistic licence please?  The paper shredder is to my right but it's definitely got the best gore-factor as a weapon. 

    This has got all the makings of a sequel to Shaun of the Dead, but set in a stationery suppliers office and co-written Simon Pegg, Ricky Jervais and Steve Merchant.  Can I be Gareth?

  • I'm screwed. It's either a Skype headset, an empty Evian bottle, or an empty Coke can.
  • I wonder if we could pool resources? image
  • If I could choose the right instead of the left, then I have a stack of empty DVDs. I could use those like Odd Job and throw them, thereby chopping off the heads and arms of the marauding non-deads.
  • A brown envelope marked 'Bernard' containing some £££££
  • To my left is a wall. On the wall, although not in direct line with the computer is an electric heater. Resting on the heater is a set of hair straighteners. I'm not sure whether I can burn the zombies? If that doesn't work I might still have time to die with my hair looking good image
  • Crash Hamster wrote (see)
    You could lure them into an unsafe building with teh apple, then wait for them to die of asbestosis?

    Do Zombies use their lungs?Sarah...?

    I could just hide under my desk and sustain myself with my apple until they go away?

  • Um. A tupperware container filled with dry Cheerios.


  • My lab book. I can batter them to death with that image

    Or bore them, depending on how mean I am feeling.

  • To my left I have a teaplate with a half eaten eccles cake on it... leathal.

  • Did just have the colleague I mentioned on the vent thread yesterday. She who sent a fax instead of walking up a flight of stairs. I don't think she'll be much good as a weapon of choice, though she moves so infrequently she may prove to be a useful wall image
  • Perfect LN - Zombie Fodder - we need some of that! image
  • My in's very full so could do some damage if I hit someone around the head with it image
  • Oooooh oooooh ooooh I have a desk fan... I could take the front cover off, thus exposing the blades and if I switch it onto full power could probably not do very much damage as now that I look at it... they're plastic blades... Ooooh I could take somebody's eye out with flying plastic shards once I've attacked/cooled down the 1st zombie... Hah, I have a plan... image
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