The object to your left

SuperCaz

I have a pile of race entry forms, race numbers and my calendar of events.

I could wear them down by entering them into every race going so that I could then finish them off with the calendar.

[Deleted User]

I have a Braun Oral-B Triumph Professional Care toothbrush.
At least they'll have clean teeth when they eat me.

[Deleted User]

I have a greyhound, Mr F with his book (Catch 22) and a kettle to my left.

Probably best to beat the zombie around the head with the book, then we can still use the kettle to make a restorative cup of tea. The greyhound will, more than likely, remain asleep through the whole episode

Lady Wot Jogs

I have a can of hairspray, which says " Firm hold for lasting control".