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Playground Rhymes
The Hoose-Goer
✭✭✭
in Clubhouse
Did a thread on this years ago but would like to do it again
what are your favourite skool Rhymes.
one of mine was based on an ad.
"trebor mints are a minty bit stronger
stick 'em up your arse and they last a bit longer"
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Comments
Down at Fraggle Rock, Catch a Fraggle by the cock,
Swing it in the air,
Catch it by the pubic hair.
If he asks for more,
Trap his bollocks in the door,
If he's still not dead,
Put a gun up to his head.
Down at Fraggle Rock,
Down at Fraggle Rock.
thats the one well done rickster will be singing that to myself all day today may even carry on through my run tonight to get me through the last few miles!!!
there was one about albert only had one ball im not good at remembering the whole rhyme just the best bits!
Hitler's only got one ball,
It's in the Albert Hall,
His mother, the dirty bugger,
Cut it off when he was small.
(Sung to the tune of Colonel Bogey.)
In 1976......
The Queen pulled down her knicks.
She licked her bum
And said "yum yum"
It's nicer than Weetabix
Milk, milk
Lemonade
Round the corner
Chocolate's made
I lost me arm in the army
I lost me leg in the navy
I lost me dick in a butchers shop
and found it in me gravy
In 1946
the king was chopping sticks
he missed the block and hit his cock
in 1946
I all the whores in crimson draws came walking down the strand
Do you suppose the walrus said that we could raise a stand
i doubt it said the carpenter but wouldn't it be grand
and all the while the dirty sod was cumming in his hand
when you were only sweet 16 you had a little quim
you stood before the looking glass and put one finger in
but now that you're old and grey and losing all you charm
i can fit 5 fingers in and half my fucking arm
I remember a slighly different version of the hitler/colonel bogey one
Hitler's only got one ball,
It's hanging in the Albert Hall,
His mother, the dirty bugger,
Cut it off when he was small
she hung upon the christmas tree
the wind blew it out to see
all the fishes, got out their dishes
and had bollocks and scallops for tea!
Buffalo Billy had a ten foot willy
so he showed it to the woman next door
she thought it was a snake
and hit is with a rake
and now its only four foot four
I've got another variation on the balls one, that ends like ......
And poor old Goeballs (sp?) had no balls at all!
Can you tie 'em in a knot?
Can you tie 'em in a bow?
Do you get a funny feeling
When your bollocks hit the ceiling
do you get a funny feeling if your balls hang low
While shepeards wash their socks by night
all watching itv
the angel of the lord came down
and turned it over to bbc
(Sung to the tune of While Shepeards Watch Their Flocks By Night.)
We 3 kings of orient are
one in a taxi one in a car
one on a scooter pipping his hooter
smoking a big cigar
oh, star of wonder, star of light
sitting on a box of dynamite
light the fuse and then you'll see
the quickest way to the cemetary
Eeny meeny miney mo
Catcha ???? by its toe
If it squeals let it go
Eeny meeny miney mo
That would be a teensy bit politically incorrect these days. I was gonna put that one, but thought I would have got lynched for it.
No pun intended.
Jack be nimble
Jack be quick
Jack jump over a candle stick
silly boy you should've jumped higher
goodness gracious great balls of fire
Most things are non pc these days!
Postman pat postman pat
reversed his van and squashed his cat
all the guts went flying
Postman pat's crying
pat says i think i'll have him for my tea
This was the first one that sprang to mind. Though we started with "Uncle Billy......"
Mariah Mariah she done it on the fire
But the fire was to hot so she done in on a pot
The pot was to round so she done it on the ground
The ground was to flat so she done it on the cat
and off ran the cat witha done it on its back.
Not really sure what that's all about mind!
He's Popye the sailor man
He lives in a caravan
There's a hole in the middle
Where he goes to piddle
He's Popeye the sailor man
Boop Boop
i remeber that one!!! i think there were a few popeye ones
Rain rain go away
Come again on washing day
I'm Popeye the sailor man
I live in a caravan
I live with me granny
I suck on her fanny
I'm Popeye the sailor man
Toot toot