Friday Madness

   1. Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
   2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."
   3.  There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
   4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
   5. And when God, who created the entire universe with all of its glories, decides to deliver a message to humanity, He WILL NOT use, as His messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle.
   6. You should not confuse your career with your life.
   7. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.
   8. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy.
   9. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
  10. Never lick a steak knife.
  11. Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie.
  12. The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.
  13. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
  14. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
  15. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age 11.
  16. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
  17. The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them.
  18. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.
  19. At least your friends love you.


  • 15. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age 11.

    I disagree - my Squeeze and I make a big deal about each other's birthdays.  I like birthdays much more than I like Christmas image

  • I must admit I disagreed with that one too!

    I have a whole festival planned for the whole WEEK of my birthday

  • Good list PO.  A few points:

    I am a terrible dancer, you will never get me dancing.

    I am a capable but average driver in my mind.

    I detest rudeness to restaurant serving staff

  • 20. Seventy miles per hour on a motorway is a speed limit, not a speed aim.
  • Rickster, I've used a similar phrase many times: it's a speed limit, not a target.
  • I'm constantly amazed by the number of people who think it is the minimum limt!
  • Or the people that say that they drive at 40mph through a 30mph limit, so that they don't hold the flow of traffic up. How can they be holding traffic up by driving at 30, when that's the limit?
  • CP a couple of months ago we were coming home along what passes for a main road round here. It was hissing down, and Rattler felt safe driving at 40-45mph. We were being passed constantly as if we were parked, and by "works vans" tto not just the usual knob in a car!
  • They overtake in a dangerous place nearly causing an accident, then you still catch them up at the next set of traffic lights.

    All that stupid risk for nothing.

  • oiyouoiyou ✭✭✭
    Please re-read number 7 image
  • image especially on here!
  • RW that is.
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