Howdy, Stranger!
Categories
Options
Your partner's running support
The materials in this website are in no way intended to replace the professional medical care, advice, diagnosis or treatment of a doctor, qualified personal trainer, therapist, dietitian or nutritionist Runners's World, Part of the Hearst UK well-being network © Copyright 2017
Comments
When the kids are in bed, she watches soap operas and crap TV. I go running and come on here. She doesn't make me do what she wants and vice versa.
She also runs 3 times a week for a bit of keep fit so might understand a bit why I run. She knows I have an obsessive personality and it is better geared towards knocking 5 sec off my 10k pb than drinking or gambling.
" Well he's not been down the club much recently, has he"?
Mine's a fair weather cyclist and every April takes his bike down the shop for a new everything, then spends the summer doing loads of cycling and getting incredibly fit. Then come the autumn, he puts it away and does very little for 6 months. I can't believe he's willing to lose his fitness like that! he's reasonably tolerant/supportive of my running, having been an obsessive climber (he's a lot older than I am) he can see I need to do these things now while I can.
Thinking about it, I reckon it's the social side of my running he struggles with; part of the enjoyment I get from running is seeing friends, meeting people etc and have a wide circle of running acqaintances, whereas he nearly always cycles on his own, not member of a club etc. But this is just part of our different personalities.
It still seems to be less culturally acceptable for women to spend time doing sport (especially at weekends when we should be at home with our families, going to an evening aerobics class is OK!) whereas lots of men can bugger off to football, cricket etc every weekend for months on end without comment.
Yet another way that running enhances my life.
So far so good re husband thanks LauraL! Early days though
He doesn't generally go to my races, but has gone to FLM both times I ran and also we took a weekend away for the Great West Run, which was nice.
I feel sorry for those of you whose partners don't provide support. It seems to me that you need to discover exactly why they don't provide this support and that there may be a factor beyond the "I don't understand why you want to do that" that maybe they are too embarressed to reveal.
I just wish I could interest him into coming with me. He used to be a really good X-country runner through orienteering, but now he's got a long hours desk job and no motivation so I can't get him out to pound the pavement with me (no easy X-country stuff near the front door doesn't help)
Can't afford to get him a bike, and with the local pool costing £3.10 per swim that's a bit much too. I need to find him a cheap exercise that he'll enjoy without feeling that he's competing with me. He said that if one of us gets a pay rise this year he might join my gym, but I think we'll have to wait till November for that.
Oh well.
I'm going out for my first run in two weeks tonight cos my foot feels better. I had pulled something in it and now it seems OK. First test run tonight - although it'll be hot and i don't expect I'll go very far!
He point blank refused to cycle along side me as 'I damaged his street cred' So when he was working I ran. When he put his back out and could not work he made sure it was dammed hard for me to run. I used to run in my lunch hour (Occasionally I still do those Deoderant wipes are a bit of a god send. Saves killing eveyone with eau de sweat on an afternoon). In the end his attitude got me down. I was lucky we did not have children (They would ruin his street cred too!). It got to a point where it was the ultimatum running or me. No choice really. Sorry Lardy you had to go.
I am not saying its right for you, My other half is training for his first GNR and he is doing great. His favorite sport is playing golf. I point blank refused to go near the golf course until last year. I thought it would be full of Rupert bear look alikes shouting 'fore' and swinging clubs. It was actually a lovely walk. Pushing and pulling his clubs around the course had me sweating and breathless by the 18th hole. (I am even learning the gargon).
I have learned that its a little bit of give and take. I spend as much time as possible with him on a weekend when we are both off together which is 3 weekends in 7. We train together as much as possible at the moment. He is even talking about keeping it up after the GNR. Which 4 years ago he was a 20+ a day and as much beer as he could swill before he fell over type man. I have not reformed him that much. He still loves his beer but not as much. He had to say goodbye to fags as I am asthmatic and ciggie smoke sets me off wheezing.
My freind runs. She has 3 kids. She takes one out on their bike each time she runs. She says they enjoy it it gets them some exercise and she feels a bit safer being out with someone. The youngest who is 7 can do a fair pace on his bike to keep up with her. One run I could not keep up with either of them. She feels it is unfair to leave her Hubby with all the kids 3-4 times a week. But she needs that something to keep her head above water.
I would not give up my running again unless through injury. I can't afford the gym as We have bought our first house. I told him that from day one. Running is the one way I can get my head round things and I would not give it up.
I started 'runnning' (very slow plodding) at the beginning of April in preparation for the Capital Radio 10k Feetbeat, after losing a stone and a half of excess flab since January. Mr T also entered the run but refused to train with me as I was too slow. I followed the run/walk programme for 6 weeks and on the day was quite pleased to finish in 73 minutes 14 secs(just 1 minute and 2 secs behind Mr T who ran on his own because I would 'slow him down')
Since then, the bug really bit and I'm still plodding 3 times a week - did a 5k R4L on Sunday and am doing the Bluewater 10k July 10th.....unfortunately, Mr T will not run with me at all now and his idea of supporting me is just not to moan too much!
I'm sad that he won't join me but I think it's because he quite liked it when we were both 'cuddly' couch potatoes and now he's got to face the fact that I'm slimmer and getting fitter.
I wish I could encourage him but I think it's something he has to do for himself. I try and make sure that my plodding doesn't get in the way of us spending time together so he doesn't feel neglected. Life's one big compromise sometimes, but it's worth it. :-)
Sorry - long ramble, no help to anyone but made me feel better! Thanks
Anyway she is usually happy for me to disappear for 1/2 a Sunday to do races, and ususally has a good lunch awaiting my return. I don't expect her to come to events and hang around for ages waiting for me to re-appear.
During the winter/spring she happily provides breakfasts for hords of runners training for FLM or other events.
She listens to my tales of races (which must really be quite boring) and even arranges for me to go off running with my friends.
I'm even allowed to do mountain marathons with a female partner.
Just occasionaly she says she would like a non-running weekend, and to be honest who can blame her, so we have a weekend doing what she wants.
Just brill. LU Mrs.MTDRF
I tried to take her running once, but she's just not cut out for it. However, she can sprint like the wind and drink far more than me.
10 year anniversary coming up in 2 weeks - better get thinking of a present fast. Perhaps a Timex GPS.....
My reply:"I was running before you came along and I'll be running after you've gone"
She's gone, I'm still running. Nuff said
Best of luck finding a more tolerant mate
Maybe thats what is up with me:))
I tend to run during the day if I get home from work early before picking the kids up from school/childminders but never in the evenings. My work is pretty flexible so I can manage at least 2 runs a week this way.
However I want to run better and be able to go further than at present [10K max]and I am aware that unless I run more and further it'll remain a pipe-dream. Looks like I'll have to accept more cross training on the bike at the weekends.
Like the suggestion of running while the kids cycle beside.
I want to get him to admit his real reason for his dislike of running/runners, I've my suspisions, but I want to get him to admit it too.
Good excuse to have more pies though :-)