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Coming off SSRIs
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That's exactly the advice I was given last year by my GP when I was back in again for the happy pills. With me too it's family related, I'm at last seeing that it always has been and always will be. I can't change the way my mother and siblings relate and react to me, only the way in which I respond to them or let their behaviour affect me.
I've been benched recently with illness and haven't once heard from my sibs, but I'm a lot better at not letting it get to me than this time 12 months ago. And that's what's managed to help me keep my head above water this time instead of being churned up by their lack of contact.
One day I might even be able to tell them what I think!
For years I thought that it would just go away and that there was nothing wrong with me. I just kept it bottled up and about a year ago, I just flipped one day. I realised then just how I wasn't actually coping with anything and I was just throwing everything away, So I went and spoke to the Quack, got some counselling, happy pills and really pushed myself to run more often. I was running everyday and making sure I took plenty of time out to just relax and let the world go by.
I'm not ashamed of what happened and I'm not ashamed of the fact that I had to get counselling and I'm still on happy pills. I'd been trying to cope with it all for so long and I was getting nowhere, how else was I going to get anywhere. Even though I had, and still do have, an amazing wife that supports me and is always there for me something was missing and I didn't really know what. The tablets and running have managed to get my head to a sensible level at which I can think rationally and actually work out what I can do to help myself.
I've been through a massive range of tables and still feel that the ones I have aren't perfect for me, but I'm just having to cope with them as I've tried pretty much every type there is and these are the best ones.
The ones I am on now manage to keep the mood swings to a minimum, but the problem I have is that they are also a bit of a sedative to assist with my anxiety and insomnia which in turn is affecting my motivation to do anything! I've got a half-marathon and I'm really struggling to train right now... I'm also coming back from injury which makes it slightly worse, but hey, It's not the end of the world is it! Just got to think of the prizes and how good I feel after running 20km.
I'm having a bit of horrible day. Got PMS, a migraine, and still getting used to the fluoxetine tablets (only started 2 weeks ago), which is an unpleasant combination. I've got a horrible feeling of dread that i can't shake off. Have been at home all day with my son, my husband is away in the US on business. Also had some kids sitting in a tree just level with our garden fence ALL DAY, staring into the back of our house, which is giving me the creeps. I keep telling myself I'll feel better in a couple of days
True, but then sometimes getting depressed is a natural reaction to a situation you can't control or remove yourself from. You're dead right though - we treat the symptoms instead of the cause. A bit like painting over dry rot.
Bloody hell, LB, what you've been through.
Vicky it will get better, promise, hang in there. Knowing it's chemically induced doesn't make it any less real, though. Hope the anxiety fecks off soon, and the creepy kids with it.
Ready, aim, FIRE
Love that Jeepers
Not right though, is it? If we break a limb, we get it put in plaster. If we get some nasty bug, we go and get antibiotics. If we're depressed we pretend everything's fine and try to carry on regardless until it's a million times worse than it need be and we really have no option but to deal with it.
There's a really talented, qualified to the rooftops chartered building surveyor who Blouse calls on when he needs expert advice. He's also a lovely, down to earth bloke, and they have the odd beer together, but let's just say that otherwise we move in different social circles. His ghastly, coupley, dinner party friends are partners in the solicitors' practice where our mates are cannon fodder. When he had a breakdown a couple of years ago, none of his posh friends went anywhere near him, it was only Blouse who was on the phone twice a week talking to either him or his wife and letting him know he hadn't been forgotten. Now he's recovered, they still treat him as if there's *whisper* something we'd better not mention.
Thanks for your hugs Jeepers and KK.
Hash- that's so true about having to pretend everything's ok until it builds to a crisis. I had to take 3 days off work a couple of weeks ago because I couldn't go on, but apart from my manager, I only told 2 people what was really up with me.
But at times I find it nice to 'not' talk about. Not because I'm trying to hide what's going on but because there's more to me than just that.
Some people treat people differently because of the depression, though of course it could be any physical/mental illness. Colleague told her manager he'd had depression. Manager was different after that, not right but it's true. A friend treats me differently now too. I hate that. I really do.
Yup.
Okay, FB group being sorted, not by me. Vicky, Jeepers are you on FB? If so PM me your e-mail addresses/names and I'll make sure you get added
No, sorry I'm not on FB. I don't consider myself in the league of my niece who has over 2000 photos and vids of herself
.
That's ABSOLUTELY what I'm thinking! The other thing I thought (at the time) was "this sort of thing doesn't happen to people like ME"
Who the f**k did I think I was? Of course it does!
I told almost nobody. Even very close friends I shut out because they had enough on their plates as it was. The one person I DID tell (and who does lurk on here occasionally) had been through a trauma of her own the previous year and she was extremely helpful and supportive. She's a wonder woman with 3 kids, a husband, a job and makes us all look a bit crap but she snapped over work and had to let the cracks show. It's only when you let people see your vulnerable side that they can help you sometimes. I let her know what I was going through because I KNEW she'd been there and she would not judge or run away from me thinking "uuurrrghh - nutter"!
I just wish I'd had the courage at the time to publicly admit I was crumbling, but I didn't.
Hi
Not sure what to say posters ...so many chords being struck here and wish that I can offer advice but I'm not good at that - just a supportive shoulder if that helps
I have not been on medication in a long time, currently find I am bumbling along keeping busy and my OH bless him is bloody wonderful, we are truly a great team together without him - well I dread to think.......
Yes I've a lot of pent up grief but that is probably 'normal'. If it were not for lurking here then prob be on some bereavement forum and no way do i ever ever want to go there
The recent post on meditation made me chuckle, tried it and could not for the life of me stop myself getting agitated (mind wondering off again)
Take care
xx
My new trick is getting the giggles when you REALLY shouldn't.
I'm convinced its the happy pills.
I started a proper laughing fit just as we went into exam conditions for a food hygiene course a couple of weeks ago and really disrupted the start.
And I laughed my head off when a guy tripped over a pavement because he was texting on his iPhone and went flat on his arse.
He wasn't hurt. I nearly wet my knickers.
Laughter as they say is the best meedcine
Chin up Vicky Pea hope your day is a better one tomorrow
Glad to hear you had a better day yesterday Vicky
I had a very long period off work with depression some years ago. Every now and then I get a blip and can't cope for a couple of days - and I have to lie about why I'm off as my seniors see it as the start of another huge crisis if I so much as look glum. There is a stigma attached to depression / mental health issues even when you have proved yourself successful at dealing with it in the past.
Hash - I appreciate that 4 or 5 hours sleep is a luxury to you at present! I can remember so well when 2.5 hours a night in half hour stretches was the best I could hope for. I currently get about 4 hours undisturbed - it's bliss.
LB - gawd. ((((((((((()))))))))
Hope the weekend treats everyone well.
Limps xxx
Limps it sounds as if you're managing it very sensibly by taking a couple of days when you need it, sod the work colleagues who don't know bow to deal with it, their stiff upper lips are their own unhealthy problem! I find a good fake dose of cystitis does the trick too - another thing that sends them scuttling off with embarrassment!
MRF hi and welcome. Thank dog for the fab people in our lives.
Thanks Hash
Not a good one last night so will now kick my sorry self out for a lone long run in the mist and gloom
OH has had to work today
Never tried the cystitis excuse Hash. Knowing my luck that would be an affliction that everyone would want to discuss at length!
Hope your run has eased your mind MRF.
I have been out doing horse-chores since 7am. Exhausting but therapeutic!