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Got in contact with my first boyfriend on Facebook about 6 months ago.

Next Saturday we are going out for dinner. Time lapse between last meeting is 25 years.

So have you/would you meet up, or should the door on the past be firmly closed, or is leaving it ajar just more fun?



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Comments

  • Wouldn't meet up for dinner with an old ex (have to be old ex, I've been married 18 years), but I'd do coffee.

    Recently "found" one of my bridesmaids on there though through my old college site, so like the ability to re-find old friends. We lost touch when she moved to Spain, then France, then back to the UK

  • I don't see the harm in it if you're both unattached and going into this with no expectations.  However, if either of you are attached then I'd be thinking coffee rather than dinner.

    I did much the same recently, meeting up with an ex who I'd not seen for 12 years.  image

    Funny the people who find you on FB, one of the girls who used to bully me on the school bus put in a friend request.  Having not seen her for 30 years I think I can happily live for the next 30 without her.

  • Whats Facebook?
  • Don't know. Depends what you're meeting up for. To catch up, possibly. From your post it's possible to read that you're expecting more than a chat about old times, maybe see if there's any heat in the embers. In which case I'd be in the "no way, Jose" brigade.

    I suppose it might make a difference why you broke up at the time, whether it was circunstances rather than the relationship had run its course. But I think you'd be a fool to get your hopes up.

    I did see a chap I made a right fool of myself over while at school, just in passing. He was gawjus then, but had really run to seed, and all I could think was "phew, what a lucky escape".

  • Nothing wrong with it if you are both currently unattached. Indeed, there are studies which suggest that relationships between "first loves" who get back together later in life, are often successful.

    However, if either of you is attached, I'd suggest not even coffee. Not even emailing. I am biased, because I talk to people where things have gone wrong, but I am amazed how high a proportion of marriage breakups now seem to start with "getting in contact with an ex" on facebook or email. It's a lose/lose scenario - you either don't hit it off this time, or you do. Just my opinion.


  • We live a couple of hours away from each other, and I am heading down that way for a marathon. He is travelling about an hour in the car to meet up. Thought coffee would have been over a bit quick considering the effort he is making to get there. Dinner is on me. No expectations, apart from a good catch up and a laugh.

    Helen - Hoping he doesn't think that it is me that has run to seed!
  • ew, not coffee. Coffee snogs are horrid. Oh...
  • MuttleyMuttley ✭✭✭
    FB is an ex of yours? Does Petal know?
  • No great secret

    1976 got dumped by my first great love

    27 years later contacted that first great love via friends reunited

    now been married for 6 years

  • FB and KK?

    OMG.

    But what Mike said - I read something somewhere - probably on the internet so it Must Be True - that x% of breakups start on social networking.

    Not sure about the % of new relationships.

    Facebook is cited in 1 out of every 5 divorces in the United States, according to the Loyola University Health System. Furthermore, 81 percent of the country’s top divorce attorneys say they have seen an increase in the number of cases using social networking evidence during the past five years, according to a recent survey by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers (AAML). Last but not least, Facebook is the unrivaled leader for online divorce evidence with 66 percent citing it as the primary source, the AAML said.

  • hope to ...... wrote (see)
    Got in contact with my first boyfriend on Facebook about 6 months ago. Next Saturday we are going out for dinner. Time lapse between last meeting is 25 years. So have you/would you meet up, or should the door on the past be firmly closed, or is leaving it ajar just more fun?
    NO WAY!!!! All my exs are ex for very good reason..... image
  • My ex contacted me yesterday on facebook with a friend request, the same ex who after a year of living together told me she didn't really want to be with me but bought the house as a business opportunity, then asked me if I would invest in her brothers company. I'm married now and plan to stay that way so I ignored the request.


  • Interesting replies, and I fully appreciate the arguments against meeting up. However, we were kids when we were dating. Spanning the precious years of 15 - 18 year olds. I am now 43!

    The opportunity to meet up and discuss our school days, and what everyone is doing now is something I don't want to miss out on.

    I have had three children. The chances of him looking at me as anything other than an old friend are remote. Anyway I am doing the Brighton Marathon the following morning, and I am sure I have read somewhere that sex then would effect my performance!!!!
  • We were 16 when we were first an item...............................

    27 years is a long time, We said we were only catching up on "old times".. yeah look where that ended up image

  • hope to ...... wrote (see)
     Anyway I am doing the Brighton Marathon the following morning, and I am sure I have read somewhere that sex then would effect my performance!!!!
    LOL Ht....  Good luck with both encounters! 
  • hope to ...... wrote (see)
    Interesting replies, and I fully appreciate the arguments against meeting up. However, we were kids when we were dating. Spanning the precious years of 15 - 18 year olds. I am now 43! The opportunity to meet up and discuss our school days, and what everyone is doing now is something I don't want to miss out on. I have had three children. The chances of him looking at me as anything other than an old friend are remote. Anyway I am doing the Brighton Marathon the following morning, and I am sure I have read somewhere that sex then would effect my performance!!!!


    I'm 43 with 3 children and had a childhood sweetheart from 15-18 yrds old..............image

    if you are both single then no harm..........if you are in a relationship then beware.........your first love can bring up memories of a much more simplier part of your life when you were young and free and the world was yours for the taking.no responsibilities.............at this age you have so many other people needing part of you that it could be easy to think you want that younger you for a few minutes

  • Dave The Ex- Spartan wrote (see)

    No great secret

    1976 got dumped by my first great love

    27 years later contacted that first great love via friends reunited

    now been married for 6 years

    I never knew that DTeS.  What a lovely story!
  • I wouldn't. Can't think of a single reason to, and as for catching up on what old school friends have been doing - if none of you have kept in touch for all those years why would you be interested now?
  • I have to confess there is at least one ex I would be curious about meeting up with if the opportunity arose.  People change over the years so there is no reason to think that that it would ever be the same as it was is there? 

    The others I would not be interested in seeing again can't explain the difference its just the way it is

  • me and KK?? nah - not enough in the top bollocks stakes for my liking.... image
  • fat buddha wrote (see)
    me and KK?? nah - not enough in the top bollocks stakes for my liking.... image


    She could be your flat mate FB  image

    I would like to know what happened to one of mine ???
    Just to see hopefully the same thing happened to her head that she did with mine and she has been close to jumping over a bridge image

  • NessieNessie ✭✭✭

    I'd kind of like to know what happened to a couple of mine - because they were so "superior" and I wonder why they are not now ruling the country/multi-millionaires/famous in some field.  Another was hell-bent on self destruction, and I wonder if he made anything of himself.  But I'd not want contact with them, just a fly-on-the wall look at where I might have been if my life had taken a different course.

    I was contacted by one ex via Friends Reunited years ago - married with loads of kids and a "if you are ever down this way" kind of open but not serious invitation.  TBH, I'd probably look him up if I was ever going to be in that area, but only because there is definitely no unfinished business for either of us.



  • There are ex's and then ex's. This one was special, and I messed it up. That said, people are your ex's for a reason and life moves on.

    I was really close to him, and would just love an evening of finding out how his life went after we separated. Sure he did just fine, he still has a wonderful sense of humour. It was probably mine that turned to crap!

    Relax all those that think I am going to jump him. I have booked into a very unromantic, middle of the road, twin bedroomed hotel.

    Good job this meeting is not happening in October when I run Liverpool. As I have the Hilton booked then!!
  • Get a hat Cilla

    I remember saying all the way up the motorway "It will be nice just to see how she turned out"..........

    and I remember driving back down the motorway saying *Oh feck, Oh feck Oh feck"

  • In a word... No.

    In several words: NO WAY JOSE.

  • Dave - Lol
  • hope to ...... wrote (see)
    Dave - Lol
    The wife of 23 years who got dumped for an old flame, still hasn't laughed about it
  • Nobody else would have me.image

  • I bet she hasn't!
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