Carlsberg don't do marathons...

Just thought it might be fun to see if we can come up with a perfick marathon.

Mine would have a wicking T-shirt (that FITS) made by Prada, and a medal made by Tiffany.

A bottle of Stella and a bag of chips would await me at the finish line. I would have my medal handed to me by Gethin Jones in a loin cloth and it would be flat as a pancake, I would win (obviously) and there would be £1000 prize money and a damehood.

How about YOU?image

Comments

  • LIVERBIRD wrote (see)

    Just thought it might be fun to see if we can come up with a perfick marathon.

    Mine would have a wicking T-shirt (that FITS) made by Prada, and a medal made by Tiffany.A bottle of Stella and a bag of chips would await me at the finish line. I would have my medal handed to me by Gethin Jones in a loin cloth and it would be flat as a pancake, I would win (obviously) and there would be £1000 prize money and a damehood.How about YOU?image
    i don't think Carlsberg would like that suggestion.
  • Good point!

    Carlsberg can be in the goody bag. Stella's nicer and this is MY marathon remember?

  • I think the option of a segway when you get tired would be nice.

    Showers & massages on the course.

    Being made to feel like a princess/first class athlete when you cross the finish line even if it's taken you 15 hours to complete.

  • Post race full body massage by 'fit' scantily clad female.

    And chauffeur driven home

  • Well Carlsberg's not my preferred tipple but it's more than adequate for washing down a curry so as long as the post-race free nosh-up included ("probably") the best curry I've ever eaten, I'm sure we could wangle that into the sponsorship deal.  That would be after the post-race massage by Audrey Tautou, of course.
  • Ewww not lager!!!! image

    Nice bottle of Rioja would be my preference in the goody bag... image

    As I haven't actually run a marathon yet, my starting aim for my perfect marathon would be one where I didn't get injured during the taper period and have to withdraw... image

    But if it really were perfect then of course I'd win, not you, LB! image

  • And a personalised, engraved medal that looks even more like a Jim'll Fix It badge than the old (Flora) London Marathon medal. That would be ace.
  • Mine would have Paula Radcliffe as my pacer (we could have a nice chat on the way round). There would be enough undulations and one big hill  to make it interesting and it would go around a beautiful bay withthe tide almost full in.

    The medal would be gold (solid!) but terribly terribly tasteful - a suitable reward for sailing  powerfully yet gracefully up every hill. My toes would remain un-banged and I'd be so well massaged and stretched afterwards that I'd be running again by the end of the week!

    By the end my face would NOT be bright red nor would I be covered in sweaty bits, and I'd get to use every one of the Lush bath, shower, hair, massage and moisturising products in the goody bag ALL IN ONE SESSION! Oh, and the generous helpings of Green and Black chocolate and Bumbleberry smoothies.

    Bring it on!

  • Medal presented by a choice of Jake Gyllenhaal, Professor Brian Cox, Jarvis Cocker or Alexander Skarsgard, or all of them together.
  • ... and Orlando Bloom to personally remove the time chip from my running shoe..... after passing the finish line and running through the winner tape...

    ... and a shower cubicle to myself to freshen up a little before dinner accompanied by family who think I am the fastest runner and most admirable woman in the world...

  • Nell McAndrew would be my pacer and the course would take in some of the best scenery in the UK.
  • Alcohol would be the last thing on my mind, an ice cold diet coke would be my tipple of choice!
  • M.ister W wrote (see)
    Nell McAndrew would be my pacer and the course would take in some of the best scenery in the UK.
    Like you'd even NOTICE with Nell McAndrew's arse in front of you! image
  • LIVERBIRD wrote (see)
    M.ister W wrote (see)
    Nell McAndrew would be my pacer and the course would take in some of the best scenery in the UK.
    Like you'd even NOTICE with Nell McAndrew's arse in front of you! imageMaybe that's what he's talking about when he says "scenery"...
  • The Grizzly stretched into marathon distance with Ewan McGregor available to scrub my back in the shower afterwards.
  • and a race photo where I look skinny and not red facesimage

    and orlando bllom and jonny depp at the finish line to see to my every needimage

    screw the medal image

  • Don't you mean you'd screw Orlando Bloom & Jonny Depp? image

    I'd like my perfect marathon to be at the coast, somewhere warm, preferably on a travellator.  Post race massage from a scantily clad Colin Eggelsfield would do me nicely.  image

  • Parklife wrote (see)
    The Grizzly stretched into marathon distance with Ewan McGregor available to scrub my back in the shower afterwards.

    I would go for that other than the shared shower afterwards part. Just a nice pub and some nice food. image

    Park you know there are quite a few off orad marathons out there. Worth a thought chuck.

  • The temperature would drop as soon as it starts and even though it's bright sunshine there would be a constant, cool, hazily light drizzle.

    Running alongside me at my pace would be Einstein, Jesse Owens, David Lloyd-George, and a slightly younger Elle MacPherson.  The pace, though incredibly quick, would be conversational.

    The medal would be pinned on to my lapel by the Queen.  Prince Philip would make a cracking comment about the various Kenyans and Ethiopians trailing in behind me.

    The goody bag wouldn't have a voucher for soup in it.  It would have my other baggage accompanying it.  The helicopter home would have the masseuse, the curry and the champers.

  • Cake wrote (see)
    Parklife wrote (see)
    The Grizzly stretched into marathon distance with Ewan McGregor available to scrub my back in the shower afterwards.

    I would go for that other than the shared shower afterwards part. Just a nice pub and some nice food. image

    Parky you know there are quite a few off road marathons out there. Worth a thought chuck.

    I did Beachy last year which was nearly as enjoyable as the Grizzly TBH, except you don't get the added extras like a good t-shirt; nice shakes and cakes, piper, music, buddhist shrine etc.
  • image I didn't get any cake this year. image
  • There was the honeybuns cake-type thing Cakeybake image Although I don't know if you atw it.
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