Ooo how odd, I posted a proper post yesterday and it's written an old one instead!!
I do have great news. I talked to Vicky about feeling like we are about done with the art psychotherapy and how I just feel different and I feel more grounded and connected. I know I haven't got complete control over the alters and other stuff but I feel like I know how to fix it by myself now. Vicky agreed we are having a CPA review next week to workout how many session we need to have left and to finalise a discharge plan. I am so thrilled. It's only been a year and has changed so, so much. The weird thing was I didn't really feel it working then all of us sudden everything just started clicking into place. It just feels right that we should end thereapy now
I will still see Sally for the OCD therapy and she is still my CPN and I will still be on the anti-psychotics (the last episode wasn't very long ago) and the anti depressants for the foreseeable future but I feel like I have the tools to try to cope. Not to be magically better and never have any problems but to understand what's happening and find a way forward.
I am so happy I want to have a celebration after my last therapy session, cos it's been 6 years since I was last able to walk all by myself like this (that time only lasted 3 months but it was because I wasn't really ready I just wanted to be ready)
If I am wrong and I can't cope I'll just have to contact Vicky and I can see her again; either just to get through a shortterm problem or to work through the stuff we haven't done yet but I feel I can now manage.
Hello Mima, How lovely to hear from you, I was thinking of you yesterday and hoping you were OK ... I *may* have asked SCaz if you were OK
Thrilled the stress levels are now reducing.
I agree 8 months always sounds like forever but the therapy will appear before you know it. It'd be nice if waiting lists weren't so long but they are much better than they used to be and it does at least give you time to work out what you need and see if there's anything you can do to help yourself in the meantime.
Good luck for the first counselling session. Glad you are being supported.
Ha ha ha to our Bear parading around the shops in just his shoes!!
Moo and I are having cuddles because he is poorly. For those of you who lurk and perhaps wonder if I am an overanxious mother, sadly not. Winter is poorly season. This time it is a cold that we are trying to keep as just a cold. Last year he needed 6 courses of antibiotics and 3 stays in hospital to get him thru winter. So my anxiety levels are rising because he has already had an ear infection and a bad, 4 week long, bout of diarrhoea
Just been out for a bike ride having put my shoes on again (cue weird image) - it's raining which I didn't realise but my knee seems okay for cycling if a bit sore. I'll try one more slightly longer bike ride and then try going to the gym for a swim
That looks gorgeous SOLB I'm so pleased you like it, it's perfect on your slim fingers. Hi By 'Eck...I'm ok thanks! Managed to successfully and spectacularly mangle a finger with my husband's chopper but other than that all's well x
It's amazing isn't it, Sossidge is obscenely talented.
I'm not doing brilliantly on the OCD work re: food again today, not sure how to keep myself focused, I've not done any exercise for almost two weeks now, cos I felt sick and tired (nightmares and nausea I think) I wonder if that'll help or not.
I am supposed to be trying to focus on making real meals with an emphasis on noticing whether I like it or not cos I usually don't care about food and just eat stuff that has the right mix of carbs and protein etc it's all quite dry and I wouldn't dare serve it to anyone else!
Honestly I think a big part of the problem at the moment is that I feel really fat and have a massive urge to stop eating. I feel bloated, guilty and massive every time I eat anything. I know that not eating is a stupid idea and I'm not giving in to it but it's making eating harder aside from the OCD. It's like it's in my best interests to let the OCD win.
I feel so fat I don't even want to shower in case I look down and suddenly have a ginormous fat stomach. It's been a bit of a problem for a about a week. I don't think it'll get out of hand and I'm not desperately worried, it's more uncomfortable that massively problematic but I thought I should be honest with you all
Comments
I wondered why I was getting stared at
I did, I got nanas and pineapple and doughnuts and sossidges
Sounds like we have some thread good news to celebrate
*starts making sausage rolls and hanging up bunting*
Ooo how odd, I posted a proper post yesterday and it's written an old one instead!!
I do have great news. I talked to Vicky about feeling like we are about done with the art psychotherapy and how I just feel different and I feel more grounded and connected. I know I haven't got complete control over the alters and other stuff but I feel like I know how to fix it by myself now. Vicky agreed we are having a CPA review next week to workout how many session we need to have left and to finalise a discharge plan. I am so thrilled. It's only been a year and has changed so, so much. The weird thing was I didn't really feel it working then all of us sudden everything just started clicking into place. It just feels right that we should end thereapy now
I will still see Sally for the OCD therapy and she is still my CPN and I will still be on the anti-psychotics (the last episode wasn't very long ago) and the anti depressants for the foreseeable future but I feel like I have the tools to try to cope. Not to be magically better and never have any problems but to understand what's happening and find a way forward.
I am so happy I want to have a celebration after my last therapy session, cos it's been 6 years since I was last able to walk all by myself like this (that time only lasted 3 months but it was because I wasn't really ready I just wanted to be ready)
If I am wrong and I can't cope I'll just have to contact Vicky and I can see her again; either just to get through a shortterm problem or to work through the stuff we haven't done yet but I feel I can now manage.
So thrilled
Hello Mima,
How lovely to hear from you, I was thinking of you yesterday and hoping you were OK ... I *may* have asked SCaz if you were OK
Thrilled the stress levels are now reducing.
I agree 8 months always sounds like forever but the therapy will appear before you know it. It'd be nice if waiting lists weren't so long but they are much better than they used to be and it does at least give you time to work out what you need and see if there's anything you can do to help yourself in the meantime.
Good luck for the first counselling session. Glad you are being supported.
Ha ha ha to our Bear parading around the shops in just his shoes!!
*does a happy dance with SOLB*
That's fabulous news sweetie
Moo and I are having cuddles because he is poorly. For those of you who lurk and perhaps wonder if I am an overanxious mother, sadly not. Winter is poorly season. This time it is a cold that we are trying to keep as just a cold. Last year he needed 6 courses of antibiotics and 3 stays in hospital to get him thru winter. So my anxiety levels are rising because he has already had an ear infection and a bad, 4 week long, bout of diarrhoea
Poor Moo - hope he heals quickly.
Just been out for a bike ride having put my shoes on again (cue weird image) - it's raining which I didn't realise but my knee seems okay for cycling if a bit sore. I'll try one more slightly longer bike ride and then try going to the gym for a swim
My to-do list didn't get very far today but the beds have been changed
Later in the week I think, don't want to overdo it
My to do list needs redoing since my computer auto-shut down and lost the old one
"make a to do list" ?
essentially yes
oooo that sounds yummy, yes please
SOSSIDGE!! I was just about to upload a picture of the beautiful ring you made (I emailed it to you already)
(it's only slightly upside down )
SOLBsis studying in the background!
Ooo I likey!
*waves to Sossidge*
It's amazing isn't it, Sossidge is obscenely talented.
I'm not doing brilliantly on the OCD work re: food again today, not sure how to keep myself focused, I've not done any exercise for almost two weeks now, cos I felt sick and tired (nightmares and nausea I think) I wonder if that'll help or not.
I am supposed to be trying to focus on making real meals with an emphasis on noticing whether I like it or not cos I usually don't care about food and just eat stuff that has the right mix of carbs and protein etc it's all quite dry and I wouldn't dare serve it to anyone else!
Honestly I think a big part of the problem at the moment is that I feel really fat and have a massive urge to stop eating. I feel bloated, guilty and massive every time I eat anything. I know that not eating is a stupid idea and I'm not giving in to it but it's making eating harder aside from the OCD. It's like it's in my best interests to let the OCD win.
I feel so fat I don't even want to shower in case I look down and suddenly have a ginormous fat stomach. It's been a bit of a problem for a about a week. I don't think it'll get out of hand and I'm not desperately worried, it's more uncomfortable that massively problematic but I thought I should be honest with you all