Mental illness and running

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  • Good evening - painting done for the evening so a shower is now in order
  • Yep indeedy, twins have to be good at sharing!

    Ooo congrats Bricki - sounds like you've been really productive today.



    I am going to re-attempt swimming now. I'm hoping not to burst into tears and run away like a total pillock today!
  • Good luck sweetie image

  • 4 lengths, feel totally awful now and I suspect I'll be in the shower for ages but wow! I had to wear a paper wrist band, I'm being a sentimental idiot and keeping it image

    xxx
  • Woohoo image

     

    Why did you have to wear a wristband?

  • Well done, SOLB.  You may feel awful but it's really impressive that you tried again and suceeded so soon after an unsuccesful attempt.  Happy birthday for you and SOLBsis tomorrow.  Great to hear that you've got good news going today.  Hopefully will help make it good one tomorrow.

    I've been out this evening seeing The Damned.  Was in two minds about whether it was the right thing to do after a day at work.  I often need some 'me' time before facing another day but I'd promised a friend I'd be going.  Turned out OK..  When I see a band and they come on, I often think - this is going to be at least an hour and a half - how am i going to get through it - but whilst I didn't feel brilliant I at least felt I was OK to get through it.

  • I don't know bear, so they know you've paid to swim I think. I still have it on, I might date it image



    That's brilliant Lr, having struggled so much with being with people last week what you achieved tonight is brilliant. So so glad it wasn't as bad as feared! wow that took some courage



    I'm off to bed now, night night all x
  • SOLB thats a great effort - very proud of you!

    Well done LR - small steps and all that.

    i went to a friends little ones christening on sunday and found it to be very difficult. i still feel uncomfortable around even my friends and the fact it was a load of kids when we are having such a terrible time of trying to have one hurts even more. i actually think im a magnet for kids as well as a lot of the younger ones seemed to want me to play with them a lot which i dont mind but is extremely tough to do.

  • Bricki - I know what you mean.  I find it really difficult with kids.  On an occasion like that I try not to have anything to do with them if I can for fear that they will latch on to me and I can't cope.

    Anyway - supposed to be going to work.  Don't want to.  Oh well, got to be done.

  • Happy buffday SOLB image

  • Managed to get to the run tonight and I ran well.  The anti-d's seem to work to some extent - like with doing OK when out last night and running tonight when, even though I don't feel too well myself, the legs just seem to work well regardless.  In other ways I don't seem to do so well - concentration at work is a problem - but then it is still relatively early days.

    Been doing some thinking - main reason I've not been concentrating as I should!  I've got two months until I see my GP again.  I find the thought of having to enter further into the world of mental health care pretty and opening up to total strangers face to face pretty terrifying - but if it's got to be done I'll have to do it.  It occurred to me though that I ought to use that time to identify any ways I can take positive action in the meantime.  Being open about things on this forum has made me think I really ought to be open to others too.  There are three areas here.  Family - I have strong reservations here - for reasons I might go into another time.  Work - similarly I am concerned that this might not be a good idea with the work environment I am in.  That leaves friends.  In this respect I am very fortunate in having plenty of friends through various activities but with only one or two exceptions I have kept my problems to myself.  One exception was when I 'came out' to one friend in the orienteering club who expressed concern when I wasn't taking part as I wasn't well.  I received such a supportive response and I'm sure that most others would be similarly supportive if only they knew.  So this is phase 1 of the plan.  I think I might have a chat with the friend I already 'came out' to as to how to go about it.  I think I'll probably go for an e-mail again.  I do believe in face to face conversation but sometimes I don't always express myself best, particularly if I'm nervous - and with an e-mail I can be sure I'm saying what I want.

    I know this may sound a bit of contradiction in terms of being more open - but I am considering amending my hastily thought of ID name.  I have made what could have been the big mistake of accessing the forum pages from my work PC.  Won't be doing that again.  Will let you know if I do.

    All of this has come about through me taking time to read past postings on this forum.  So thanks to SOLB for setting this up and being such an inspiration, and everyone else who is being so supportive.

  • I amended my name after everyone abbreviated it anyway. wasn't a problem at all, let us know we're still talking to our Lr and we'll all be pretty happy. 

    Re: kids you all know how much I adore SOLBsis's minis but I have only just started being their SOLB again after about 18 months of finding it really, really hard and only seeing them when I really needed to. It does get easier when you get better though you can't imagine it at the time. Suddenly you are just having fun and not struggling to keep the mask up any longer. 

    I imagine it must be much, much harder if you are trying to have a baby and have been unsuccessful. There are quite a few people on our thread, lurking and chatting who can identify so please don't feel like you are all alone. I think it's a particularly difficult subject to talk about but you will have people understanding even if they aren't in a position to publically offer their support at the moment

    Re 'coming out' with mental health problems. My fundraising page (written about 18 months ago now) which is linked in the first post if you're interested was my very first experience of talking about my mental health problems openly. No one at work or outside of my immediate family knew I was so ill and they certainly didn't know I hallucinated and stuff. It was an incredible experience for me. A few people ran away screaming (lost a few Facebook friends) but I gained far more respect, support and encouragement from the most unlikely people. I also heard so many other people say they felt they could talk about their own problems knowing I had. That said I did it knowing I was leaving the job. If that hadn't been the case I would probably have limited my disclosure to friends rather than all colleagues at first. 

    My life is completely different for being honest. I still love being able to answer 'how are you?' with the truth sometimes. The friends I have now are so so real and I'm much, much closer to them for having risked their rejection. I think if you are ready to talk to people then it can be wonderfully empowering but bear in mind that sometimes the person you thought would be most supportive might not be. 

    I am so happy that we all talk here image 

  • Oh and I've had a fantastic day today, just really, really enjoying feeling well imageand so cared about. 

    Tired now but I have lovely clean sheets to fall into image 

    Night all x

  • That's good to hear.  You deserve it.

  • Good Morning (particularly to LR and SOLB)

    Good luck LR it sounds like a plan and very similar to how ive had to approach things. i'm currently having to deal with my sister suffering some mental health issues, it seems its a family trait.

    decided i really need my front room back asap so last night i gave all the walls a 2nd coat of paint. i can tell im feeling good because i have no confidence with 'DIY' but ive ploughed on with these walls.

  • Good to hear you're being so productive.  Hope the back is coping OK though. DIY is not my thing either.  Painting I can manage but for have not done any decorating for a long time now due to the depression.  It would certainly be a sign of progress if I could manage to get some done next year sometime.  As you already said to me though - small steps.

     

  • Afternoon peeps, how is everyone?

  • Is everyone ignoring you Bear?  Didn't realise you were in that much trouble.

    Things are a bit strange at the moment.  Generally feel pretty rubbish but do just get the occasional good sign, such as feeling ok when out Monday night.  Likewise today when I found myself laughing and joking with someone on the phone at work that I wouldn't normally share a joke with.  Good signs I suppose and something to build on.

    Hows it with you?

  • I'm having a bit of a rough week, which is why I've been quiet. I am still here and lurking though.
    *waves* image  

  • Oops not ignoring our bear.

    I'm really tired think it might be meds zzzzzz
  • *gives Frodo a sleepy hug*

    Hope you are all ok x
  • Yay everyone's home image

     

    I'm not in much trouble tbh LR - been through some tough patches this last year and a half and recovering gradually - definitely on the up but some way to go yet.

     

    ((( Frodo )))

     

    I still feel unsure telling people about my MH issues - I do wonder whether I'd rather keep quiet.  It could be a bit tricky going back to my old job as my experience doesn't match up with the time I was employed there so questions may well be asked and I'd rather be straight with peeps

  • Just sad - we'll live. But hugs are ace. x

     

  • Hey - if everyone's about all at once.  Group hug?   ((((( Everyone )))))) - but particularly for Frodo!

    Bear - telling people is a difficult one.  I feel that there are people that I would like to know about and other who I really don't want to know.  There's just the danger that once it's out there - everyone will know.  I'm sure a lot of people have found a lot of benefit in being able to talk to others though.  If not though - we're hear for you.

    The 'trouble' I was referring to was being in trouble with Caz a few days ago.

    I do this at times - make random unexpected references and confuse people!

     

     

     

  • I am still ok, just lurking.
  • I knew what you were referring to image

    *joins group hug*
  • HI SOLB

    (((GROUP)))

    That's better.

  • Checks spelling of group.

    OK

    phew!

  • Still awake then SOLB.  I was thinking yesterday's birthday girl had got herself overtired and overexcited!

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