Mental illness and running



  • I don't post often but I just want to say how proud I am of SOLB today and how privileged I am to be her best friend.

    Big hugs to all of you xx
  • ?????? New Post ??????

    The Dark and The Light

    Day 23

    Uncle Buck
  • Just realised I'm orienteering Saturday morning so, much as I like to support a VRC run I think I ought to rest tomorrow.  If you want to lend me your pom-poms SOLB I'll cheer you on.  You'd best keep the crop top and mini skirt though.  Although if I did go for that, that would make you run - away - very quickly. image

  • Ha ha I think you'd run if I wore a crop top and mini skirt too but the post made me laugh. *passes the VRC pom-poms*

    Aww by eck must be frustrating not being able to run especially as you had such a frustrating and difficult day too.

    Sossidge, thank you for the post and your support over the last few days and especially today when I was scared I couldn't do it image

    I'm tired but feel too bound to the midnight rule to try to fight today
  • *Practices with pom poms*  VRC - GO!!!

    I'm in comfy on sofa mode at the moment and if I go to bed and fall asleep next thing I know it will be time to get up and go to work.  Oh well, it's a Friday. 


  • SOLB you've fought an incredible battle today honey. Now go easy on yourself, you're doing completely the right thing, you must be completely exhausted.

    Night night all, take care and hurrah for Fridays, LR!
  • Likewise - SOLB - whatever you've had to face today - well done you. 

    Got make that move.  Night all.

  • image night night all x

  • Morning, I had the engineer out to look at the faulty heater again. I told him that the damp guy had been out and condemned it. Received a stern look from the engineer who said 'I won't be able to condemn it.' He took the cover off. Saw that the heater was riddled with his own work and condemned it image

    I'm cold and tired but there's lots to do today so the big caffetiere is out - coffee anyone?
  • Coffee, lovely thanks. Hope you get your heating sorted. 

    VRC member reporting in as mission accomplished. 3 mile plod. image


  • Ooo *awards gold star* 
    I am waiting for (washing machine) Wilbur mark III so can't go out yet but I promise to bimble out once Wilbur III is here. 

  • Yay new piccies image


    I have already got one of things sorted for today and I've only been up half an hour.  I think I need a Virtual Wake-up Call from the thread!

  • oooo hooray - loving yours Soupy image 

    Wilbur III has arrived. I now have no excuses had better get out and do something productive 

    What time would you like the nationwide wake up yell? 

  • 8am please SOLB image

  • Didn't you get a new washing machine not that long ago?

  • Is that like the actual phone call you made to me at 6:30 this morning Bear? image

  • Oops sorry - I can only think that I somehow managed to do it as I switched my alarm off image

  • No problem, I was about to leave for work so it didn't wake me up.  But I did think that some emergency must have happened as you wouldn't normally phone, especially that early

  • It's part of the same washing machine saga. My first lovely one broke, the repair man couldn't fix it but recommended a charity that refurbish dumped ones. I used them for Wilbur (who was named to stop me hating him cos he was so grubby looking) but it turned out Wilbur had a fault when he arrived so I arranged an exchange ...slowly cos they were incapable of understanding the I can't talk on the phone bit. That exchanged machine was faulty on arrival and so was the next one. I was grumpy and got a refund and now we are up to Wilbur III (Wilbur, Wilbur I and Wilbur II all being useless) but I got Wilbur III from somewhere else so hopefully that's it now. 

    Oops poor worried SCaz  

  • OK here's the explanation I've just written for SCaz - I don't know how much makes sense it's not very easy to explain. 

    I've not done anything bad for once!
    I still feel really well so didn't notice that in the last three weeks or so all of my warning signs bar two have been triggered. I have got really socially paranoid, sort of projecting self loathing onto my interpretations of other people's view of me. I thought that was it but yesterday I realised my eating has gone wrong, I have been too scared to go to bed and loads of other little ones and the major one I hadn't been out since I got back from the NYE party - I had convinced myself I was just being lazy but I wasn't I was really, really scared and clinically paranoid. I realised on the very last day that I'd have had any chance to change it. It's a bit difficult to explain it's like I cross a point of no return and from that point will power and bravery and stuff just aren't enough. I was very genuinely on the edge of another 3 or 4 months being stuck indoors and I didn't realise it. I didn't know if I could make myself go outside yesterday but I knew it was my last chance before I got so bad I needed intervention.
    So really all that happened yesterday was that I went for a run; but actually what happened yesterday is that I won the battle for my next three or four months. It would have been the worst episode I've had for about 18 months in some respects (possibly excluding the bridge) had the paranoia developed any more but I've bought myself a couple of weeks worth of reprieve (so long as I go out every day etc) which gives me enough time to talk to Sally and up the anti psychotics temporarily.
    I still think it's very weird I really, really don't think I'm ill. I don't feel ill at all but my warning signs, including those that usually only occur in very serious episodes are all here and I can feel that my perception isn't quite right but not how it's wrong.
    It really is OK now, I have to stay focussed and be careful but it's not an emergency but oh my god it so nearly was. It was only a chance remark someone made about going to the supermarket that suddenly made me see all the other warning signs in the first place.
    Hmm actually having explained it now I might copy this onto the thread. I wasn't trying to be cryptic but it's difficult to give enough background to make sense especially as part of it relies on the my knowledge of what has happened before both when I have and have not been successful at going out at that stage.


  • SOLB it's a real victory that you spotted the warning signs and managed to head them off image image

  • I've had an exciting idea!  I've found an improvisation course.  I just have a hunch it'll help me.


    I thought I'd got beyond this but I've noticed lately I'm sometimes overthinking stuff that I say, so maybe it'll help to just go with stuff.  I remember when I was teaching thinking that I was at my best when stuff just flowed.


    I'm a bit wibbly about it too so the Virtual Cheerleading squad would be most welcome.


    First night is Monday image

  • SOLB - well done. That is amazing and thanks for sharing. I can really relate to warning signs even though you feel well and its so easy to ignore them so that is a very good lesson for me to take on. Thank you. 

    Pom poms on turbo charge for Bear

    Ear plugs for Caz tonight image

  • I have runned a mile image

  • There's a new king of mash potato...
  • Wahey!!! Well dons bear

    I was struggling to motivate myself after taking my mum and miss by eck to Winchester today. I was planning on it just being me and my daughter but my mum has hit a depressive episode and wanted to come. It was nice, but a bit tiring.

    I read Solb's post, and your support of her and it gave me the encouragement to reassess my "3 things" list.
  • Sorry, I don't understand that joke bricki
  • ~~~ New Post ~~~

    The Dark and The Light

    Day 24

    The Dark Passenger
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