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Don't give up yet, and even if Salisbury is too soon, there'll be other races
Oh Solb, what a pain in the neck. I hope you get your breathing probs sorted soon, sounds like its really holding you back. But what Bear says. ^^^^^
Well I've had my meeting and it was mixed. They said there is no evidence for the complaints I've put forward and that my colleague had a totally different version (I don't know what that is counter it which seems unfair). A lot of the incidents she apparently couldn't remember (how convenient). The worse thing is that it was put down to my health causing me to react to people inappropriately which made then scared to talk to me. I don't believe that for a minute and even if some of that is true, swearing at me and putting up offensive pictures doesn't become right. But its given the culprits an easy get out clause.
That's so unfair Soupy you have every right to feel angry.
What will happen now? Can you stay working with the nice colleagues or do you have to go back
Soupy I'm gutted for you, so much for being honest about your health probs!!
On the positive side, I think the managers have had a tough time for not dealing with things and there have been a number of really good reccommendations been made. Its been agreed that I can't go back to work with that colleague and the work has to be split so that we never have to meet or communicate in any way. If that can't be done then I will be redeployed to another department. They are also making recommendations that the Trust's sickness policy be amended to include management of mental health issues and it was acknowledged that there is insufficient understanding. It was specifically mentioned that the current sickness policy is in its present form is totally inappropriate to managing mental health conditions. Occupational Health have been told to give clearer advice to managers too and avoid the simple "fit for work" or "not fit" but to look at a scale in between. Managers have been told to deal with complaints promptly and to document things with copies given to the parties concerned so there is clarity. And I am to have regular 1:1 meetings with my manager to deal with difficulties early before they get big.
I could appeal against the investigation side, but the recommendations are good so there is little point really. I have another meeting soon with the HR director to plan the next step.
Onwards and upwards. I feel a bit tearful and emotional now but I'm pleased that positive things are coming out of it.
Cross post solb. It submitted before I'd finished.
Evening all. Bit of a mixed day for me today. Lunch with work colleague day today so that made it a bit more challenging - still don't feel up to raising that issue with her. She knows about my depression but I really don't feel she has any understanding of it at all.
Made it to the gym tonight but really wasn't impressed. Treadmills are set up so you're staring right at a blank wall with awful music blaring out over a really poor sound system that played havoc with my tinnitus. I lasted 10 minutes then left. By 'eck you were saying something about a gym that does day passes - which one is that?
SOLB - sad to hear your run didn't work out. Don't give up on the 10k too soon, but you obviously need to get on top of the asthma problem. Would you even consider it if you thought you could run most of it with occasional walking breaks? If so, I think it's worth going for.
Bigs hugs for Soupy - ((((Soupy)))). Just hope things work out OK for you from now on as that's the important thing.
Soupy, I'm really proud of how you have handled that. Many people would have seen it as a failure because you didn't get the outcome that you wanted, but you are right that there are a lot of positives to be taken from it.Its a sorry state of affairs, but people still need a lot of educating about mental health issues. It sounds like you have managed to negotiate some changes that will help you as well as anyone else who finds themselves in a similar situation. You are a very strong individual, even if you don't feel it at the moment.
Thanks everyone. You lot are wonderful.
Yes I do feel supported by my new colleagues and I've already asked to stay if I can. I just think that if someone else complains about being bullied by the same person then they might actually be listened to now. I hope the new policies are followed through because at the moment they are just recommendations and I'll be watching them closely. I might even ask if some fellow sufferers can have an input.
grrrrr - I keep writing stuff then it crashes when I submit and I lose it. Got to go but see you later.
I'm off out early too. Gonna walk into walk to get my exercise and avoid getting snowed in in the car.
Good plan LR.
Difficult day for me today. I've just had to take Mr Soupy to hospital for planned day surgery. Its only a very minor procedure but he insisted on giving me instruction on what to do with the building works in case he doesn't come back. I hope this doesn't bring his own big black dog back.
I'm still smarting from the suggestion at work that my health was the cause of the problems rather than the other way round and I'm still feeling quite tearful this moring. I'm going to go through some CBT stuff and phone the help line if I'm still struggling. I know I have to move on from this for my own health and I'm trying to feel proud of forcing much needed change.
Thanks Solb and yes, that what I keep telling myself - they don't want to leave themselves vulnerable especially as a tribunal claim is already sitting there pending the outcome of this. I also think that had they looked deep enough to find the evidence they say is lacking (it is there, including the offensive picture) then they would have to discipline her and perhaps even dismiss which would give them another headache that they don't want to face. I will drop the tribunal claim once my redeployment has been confirmed, but not before.
Hope everyone else is doing well. Snowing quite hard here so I hope I can get to pick Mr Soup up this afternoon.
Oh and I did an 800m swim last night. I sat dangling my legs in the pool for ages working up the motivation to get in (with my googles on which must have looked very odd) but glad I did it.
Any news from Bricki?
Glad you made it into the water Soupy
I am wondering whether it'd be too mad to get my trail shoes on and have another go at a run. My asthma is often easier in the rain than in the dry conditions maybe snow is the same.
I have the plumber here - I am not coping as well with having tradesman here as I was - finding it really really tough having them in my house. I feel really threatened even though I know it's fine and they will be gone soon.
I want to make a snowman too!
I 'accidentally' left this on Creepy neighbours chair
I'm having trouble with getting a colleague to do some work. its only a small job that will take 5 minutes, but he just won't do it. I attempted to ask a different colleague whether I was handling him the wrong way and if there was a better way of getting him on board and she snapped at me saying that she wan't about to bitch about him as she liked him.
For some reason I really took that comment to heart. I don't bitch about people. I try to understand them so that I can relate to whythey are like they are. It's still smarting now.
Also, so had spend the previous 30 min bitching about people herself, so I'm not sure why she took the approach she did with me.
Oh, Caz so sorry to hear that. Its sounds so reminiscent of how my office problems started. Asking for constructive advice certainly isn't bitching and I've never heard you be critical of anyone - ever. Is there someone higher up you can talk to?
It is my job to chase up outstanding actions. I've even offered to help him do the work, but he says that I'm not able to help. Its two months overdue now and I just want it off the list. it will be better for both of us if I don't have to keep pestering him
That's not good Caz. I can only say try not to let it spoil your off-work time. Is it something which you may be held accountable for by people higher up? If so, in those situations I'm always keen to log what actions I've taken and when to act as defence if it's ever needed.
Nice one with the snowman SOLB.
Decent end to the week. Things get complicated with walking to work in my outdoor clothing. I had work clothes left at the office to change into - apart from a shirt, so had to nip out to M+S to buy one. The brisk walk home through the snow was fun - not too deep here but a nice fresh covering to walk on. Seems to have had a bit of a black cloud clearing effect. Could be onto something there - I often find running difficult but walking I'm fine with and a brisk walk can seem to have a slight anti-depression effect. It's an alternative to keep in mind when I'm not up to running.
Talking of work colleagues, I'd like to PM several of you regarding a work colleague that I'm concerned about just to get your views. Don't think it's really fair to go into the person's details too publicly. Might not be tonight though. Off to get shopping before the snow's too deep.
I'm happy to receive PM's. I was going to PM you about Legends, but you have messaging blocked.
The work issue is fine. I won't get into trouble over it. Its a point of pride with me that I get on with people in a work environment, and learn how to get the best out of them. It frustrates me that I can't seem to work with this person. In my previous job, the department had a bad reputation when I started. Everybody thought we were jobs worth and unhelpful. I turned that around while I was there.
You will turn this place around too Caz. It sounds quite hurtful for you but of course it says more about them than you. I hate conflict and I'm hopeless at resolving it so Im not the person to advise you. Wise Solb might have some useful words, she normally does.
Glad your walk to work went well LR. Sounds like a good habit to get into.
Didn't realise that Caz. Just changed the setting so it should be OK to PM now.
Plan for tomorrow is to get out to the nature park for a run on the fresh show. If motivation is a problem - the self-bribe of hot chocolate and home made cake in the cafe afterwards should hopefully do the trick.