Mental illness and running



  • Woohoo - got some more teaching for next week image

  • Didn't go as we wanted at hospital so I am allowing my brain a break from fighting all the depression etc and giving it space to indulge in some coping mechanisms
  • That's impressive by eck, I've just suggested the very same thing in a FB message to you. Snap! 
    Lots of love darling, hang in there. Tonight is for doing whatever gets you through, you've been fighting so hard you must be exhausted.  

  • Great news, Bear. image

    Bigs hugs for Soupy (((Soupy))).

    Not as good a day for me but I lightened the load a bit by opting out of going out to lunch tomorrow.  We have a person leaving and I felt I ought to attend but it was really stressing me out.  The colleague has only been with us for a very short spell so I used the excuse that we needed office cover on the phones - valid because only one other person is covering. 

    Also had weekly lunch with work colleague today.  Use this as a way of bringing up the issue of how difficult I can find not having time to myself in the middle of the day but she just didn't seem to get it at all.  I do talk about my depression to her but it feels the same with that.  Just very frustrating.

  • Sorry to hear that, by 'eck.  Hope you can pull through.  Will be thinking of you.


  • oh ruddy hell by 'eck, what happened?

  • I was really sad this morning but pushed through and had a lovely day looking after minimini then took her home in time to collect mini from school - we all had cake and I've developed a phobia of ducks! Well not quite but they were rather enthusiastic!! 

  • So who farted on you? image

  • Minimini farted on my lap while we were reading stories in the library ... delightful!! 
    Mini gave herself a little haircut while she was at school today, I tried really, really hard not to laugh image  

  • image bless!


    ooh and I have booked onto an improvisation course with a public show at the end *wibble*

  • Failed attempt at running club run tonight.  Got more nervous the nearer I got and wimped out in the end.  Really frustrating after the problems with the weather. image

  • Oh that's great brave bear - I love how far you've come in the last few months, it's amazing! 

    Ahh LR someone wise once said to me that you can only work from now, You did your best, you've won over the anxiety a million times more than lost and you have a whole week to gather your strength and prepare for next week. 

    I have a meeting with the Richmond fellowship tomorrow - Sally must have sent the referral after I grumped at her last week image I'm hoping for a way to get back to studying and some active, energetic (but not people based) volunteer work image 

  • Thanks SOLB.  It's just always a real crash to go from having a chance to do something to then not have another chance for another few days, but I do need to bounce back from that before I can try to face it again.

    Great to hear about your day with minimini and news about the Richmond fellowship.  Hope the meeting goes well for you.

  • oooh that sounds fab Solb image


    that reminds me - they were supposed to be contacting me about volunteer work image

  • Want me to poke them for you Bear? 

    It takes real guts to keep trying something that's so difficult LR, don't estimate what an awesome achievement that is. Your drive and determination are pretty admirable - I know plenty of people that would have just thrown the towel in altogether. 

  • Yes please, and get minimini to fart at them too image

  • Right I m off to bed (I know I know stupid midnight rule) 
    I'll report in on the Richmond people tomorrow
    Night all, hope it's a restful one and the morning alarm doesn't arrive too soon!  

  • I don't think there's anything wrong with the midnight rule SOLB.  It's just if midnight becomes 1.00 am or 2.00 am or beyond that it's a problem. 

    My alarm didn't arrive too soon.  Got a more sensible nightime routine last night but don't seem to have been rewarded by feeling any better this morning.  Oh well. one day to go and then I've got three days off and stuff to look forward to this weekend.

  • Yay to the positive weekend, hopefully you'll feel better as the day marches on.

    The midnight rule isn't a problem in time but it belongs to a complicated ocd ritual that meant I couldn't go to bed before 0.00 or it'd cause disasters for my family and friends on their tomorrow. It was the first rule I intentionally broke in therapy and so I get frustrated when I haven't managed to challenge it.

    Off to see the Richmond people at 11. I dreamt I overslept and missed it. It seemed so real I got all confused this morning when the times didn't match up!
  • Eurgh for some reason I couldn't sleep until nearly 6am.


    Hope Richmond goes well Solb image

  • I still have no idea if they can help. A million forms filled in.. Apparently we don't discuss what I'm looking for and if they can help until next week!! 

  • That sounds rather odd - if they can't help that's a week wasted image

  • Nice to hear from you Bear, been a bit quiet a couple of days, or have I had you accidently on ignore?  This is the website I googled and hope its the right one!

    XFR bear that is the website, check the feedback out on Amazon, the book has helped many and you and anyone else here is welcome to a free pdf copy just email throught the site, I used a different name on here to the site for privacy reasons but that is my site yes

  • Ah okay thanks very much Paul - I did wonder if it was a privacy thing but couldn't be sure image

  • Big Burns night event tonight...meant to be fun and instead I'm dreading it. Would much rather curl up in bed...*sigh*

    Hope everyone is good and keeping warm. 

  • That's a shame, RWTW, I'm certainly glad I don't have to go anywhere tonight.  Reminds me that it's a year ago this week since a really excellent weekend away in Edinburgh with the orienteering club - one race around the city, the other on Arthur's Seat, a ceilidth in the evening - and even veggie haggis!

    Frustrating for you SOLB re Richmond.  Let's hope it proves worthwhile in the end.

    I'm feeling under more pressure at work.  My concentration hasn't been good this week and I'm just not getting things done.  Did do one good thing today though.  I'd opted out of going out to lunch with the others for a colleagues last day.  I felt that she could be trusted so I e-mailed to tell her it was due to my depression and anxiety issues that I wasn't going and I would have liked to really, whilst asking her not to tell anyone.  She responded supportingly, said she quite understood and wished me all the best. 

  • How did it go RWTW, hope it was one of those miraculous nights that just worked.

    Sorry you are struggling with concentration at work LR. That's always so frustrating, and difficult to keep reminding yourself that it's temporary and that you are doing your best.

    I'm impressed you told the truth about giving the meal a miss, that's really fantastic. Knowing when to back off is just as important as pushing through and much harder to do. Brilliant bit of self awareness and assertiveness there.

    I'm not too concerned re the silly delay with the Richmond fellowship, it is a bit silly but it gives me a week to get sorted out.

    My asthma is a bit better now but I'm too scared to run cos I feel convinced I cant do it.

    Tired now, gonna hit they hay the virus I thought I'd shaken off is still lingering I'm hoping to rest enough tonight it really goes this time!
  • Hope you find some words tomorrow quiet by eck xxxx
  • Do we need a bit of VRC teamwork to get you out there running again, SOLB?  Probably can't do tomorrow though as I'm out on a social.

    Hope by 'eck's coping OK and also Soupy's been quiet to today so hope you;re OK too.

    Just nodded off in front of the telly and am very bleary eyed so must get off properly now. 

  • I think so, I'm unreasonably scared and so convinced I can't make any progress. Really silly cos I know how much happier I am running

    Morning all, the kettle is on
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