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By Eck - well done. It's a huge thing to come out and say that, and just by doing so you are well on your way to recovery. I couldn't tell dr's either (I have a bit of a compulsion to lie over tricky situations) but nevertheless managed to get on the road to recovery. It can be done esp with the support of those around you.Having one of those nights. Feel useless and a waste of space. Visiting my bf (long distance relationship) and have cried pretty much all evening over stupid passing comments. To others it just sounds stupid, but whe he's cooking and i'm in the way...well I get upset and feel useless. And this makes me think that I'm just useless and a waste of space in general. And then I start crying. And then any other small thing will set me off (he said he was behind on his work with me coming to visit...this makes my mind translate this as 'your stopping me from working and are wasting my time and i don't want you here'. Stupid but I can't help but get upset. Sorry, bit of a vent. Just helps to write things down.
rwtw - you are not stupid at all. Sorry you are crying though. You have recognised that those thoughts are not helpful which is a good start. Can you try and flip them round at all? Its nice that you are in the way of him cooking, it shows he cares that he wants to prepare dinner or whatever for you. He puts you ahead of his work too.
Bricki - how are you? What happened to your blog?
Bricki - in case it's an issue, your previous blog was still there last time I looked.
RWTW - I think at time things can just get too much whatever happens. Just hope your boyfriend understands.
I'm calling it a night now. Really tired tonight.
Night all. xx
I hope everyone is raring to get into another week! (Or at least hasn't got that dreading feeling)
Well done By Eck for being brave. I'm pleased for you and I hope it helps. You've almost inspired me to be brave (Emphasis on the almost, haha!).
Hello RWTW, from having been a bf who's busy...it's hard because in some respects you have loads of work to do but want to spend all your time with your partner, and you only remember you have loads of work to do on Sunday night! Long distance relationships are really hard, but worth it in the end,
Peace and love y'all!
I agree that long distance relationships can work. I lived 180 miles from Mr Soup when we first met and we've now been married for almost 26 years. Don't give up rwtw.
Thank you for all these nice words. We had a lot of talks last night(he worries he causes me to be down, I worry I make him annoyed....) and talked about the distanc, and we're going to keep a going. It's going to get even futher apart and so will be tough, but hearing of people having successful long distance relationships makes it seem worth it. When the only bad thing is the distance, seems stupid to give it up.
Also. By'eck...well done. It's a really tough road but you are eating and that's good. I found that I would try and eat lots of healthy stuff. I could justify eating things that were good for me, and just tried to eat a lot of them. That made me comfortable with eating a 'normal' amount. And then, after a good run, 'treat' yourself. Nothing too big as will make you feel guilty...but start small. You'll know you've worked it off and so it won't have an effect.
Ooh - I think I could manage a run with the incentive of spotty dog for company. As it is, hoping a succesful return to the running club tomorrow night. I desparately need it as I think I forgot to pay my membership subs to the Prodcutive Day Club. The one thing I have got to show for my day off is a new pair of trail shoes from the local running shop. Bit of an effort there - drove straight past the car park first time and had to convince myself I could do it before driving back again.
RWTW - good to hear it's all worked out for you.
LR - well done on getting the shoes. That'll be a great incentive to get out on the trails! And thanks. It's not worked out really, I think we've just agreed although it'll be tough, it'll be worth it
Could we have a meeting of the Productive Day Club please? I've got loads of fiddly bits of paperwork to do that I've been putting off and they are now urgent. The ironin is piling up and I haven't done a bike ride apart from commute to work in weeks. I've kept telling myself lazy days are good for me.
Spotty run - lucky Solb.
I'd love your motivation, thanks by'eck. You can keep the green nasal caterpillars though.
Fist admin task done. 5 more to do.
Credit card paid off in full.
Car insurance sorted.
edit - stupid double post deleted
Great news by 'eck
Another fun night at improv - unfortunately it leaves me pooped the next day
Pleased to hear about Moo. Long may it continue.
Well done on the improv Bear. You really seem to enjoy it.
LR - any more achery planned? You lot are tempting me to pick up my painting hobby again, or find a new challenge to have a go at (or both).
Most of my fidly little jobs done so thats a success for the Productive club. I've put in an offer to settle my tribunal claim against my employer too so fingers crossed. Acas is now on the case. I'm not asking for money, just for a less stressful and more understanding work place and for the investigation recommendations to be implemented. I've heard nothing since the last meeting and still don't know where I'll be working at the end of February which is a bit unsettling.
Better day for me after really struggling for the last 3 days. More productive day at work as well. Don't want to tempt fate but I think I'm good for a running club run tonight.
Soupy - the archery was a one off and was last year's new sport challenge. Got to think of one for 2013 now. Good to hear you've also had a productive day. Hope your chickens are a bit happier with life now it's turned a bit warmer.
Doctor's appointment tomorrow morning to report on progress or lack of and see where we go from here.
Lots of good news seems to be around tonight. Must be the snow melting Quick question...do any of you have a particular person who triggers you? I only ask as an ex of mine is one of the biggest triggers I have. And to add to it he also suffers from depression so knows exactly how much he hurts me. Most of my worst times have been because of him. He's very much out of my life right now but I still find myself thinking about him, and as soon as that happens I enter a cycle of bad thought, especially due to events that happened and makes me think I'm an awful person (long story short...he has a gf and i knew her, but we went on a group uni holiday and drunkenly got together quite a lot. felt terrible about it but really was not in a good place at the time so have no idea why i really did it. she later asks, i tell her the truth thinking thats the right thing to do, he denies everything to everyone and makes me out to be a 'pysco bitch'). So whenever I find myself thinking of him I question if I'm a good person or not. That's not a quick question in the slightest...apologies!
rwthw - I know exactly what you mean and yes, I do have people who trigger. One is my work colleague who I complained about. I had to phone my therapist a number of times because I just couldn't find an alternative way of thinking about her and part of me didn't want to. I wanted to justify my thoughts that she is a real bitch. I still think she's a real nasty bitch but I'm a lot better away from her. and those thoughts may mellow in time. The thing is, that even if what I was thinking is true I was totally over-reacting to it. For instance she hid some christmas chocolates from me which was pathetic and selfish, but to me it was akin to assault. I wouldn't have reacted like that with anyone else. My therapist said it was about deep seated beliefs about myself and her. I'm still working through some of it so that it doesn't happen again and I can avoid things getting to that level.
Caveat - she is bitch though.
Oh thank you. It's reassuring to know other have a trigger. Yeah...even though he's out of my life, I have bumped into him in the past / seen pictures of a friend with him and got so angry and worked up about it.
Yes, I would say I have a trigger - but it's one of those things I'm a bit wary of discussing too openly on here. Maybe some more PMs on this at some point.
Run achieved so that should be at least 5 miles towards this weeks total.
Don;t think I reported my total for last week - I can only offer one walk to work and one aborted run totalling 8 miles.
My dad is my trigger.