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Ah, should have guessed. Surely that tends to be the case when you're having to deal with an eating disorder. A bit like telling me off for not being as happy as I should be.
Evening. Love the tumbleweeds.
by'eck, does Alice know about your eating disorder? Sorry if thats a stupid question but can't remember if you said earlier.
I've been a very naughty dragon but only in my head and I feel rather liberated by it. I had a sudden thought about throwing a custard pie in the face of the past colleague who pushes all my wrong buttons. And that thought made me grin so much that I imagined I had loads of custard pies. I pied the other person in my old office who bullied me as well, then I saved 2 big pies for the senior manager who told me to just wait for my tablets to take effect. I put a virtual pie in his face and a second down his trousers then blew a raspberry on my way out. Oh how I wish I could do it for real.
Oooh custard pie therapy - sounds like fun
If anyone pressed my buttons it was my old boss at work - I think I'll pie her!
See the psyche for the first time in ages because they cocked up the appointments tomorrow. Not sure what I'm going to say
Oh Soup Dragon this has made me laugh. I often imagine punching people I don't like. Like a proper man punch, right in the face. In fact, I figure I might do it one day...girls punching guys is sometimes acceptable (I've decided...)
By'eck - you're right, she was almost certainly trying to get you to see how you have to keep trying. It's a battle but you really have to just keep going, no matter how hard it gets.Also, I've always been more open to friends, or on things such as this. It's the main reason I've not been to counselling and really don't want to go. I went once, a long time ago, and just lied. It's like back to when I had an eating disorder, I just lied. Knowing someone was evaluating me meant I wanted to give the 'right' answers...so I would just make things up and say I was fine. It's really odd, and when things have been bad all my friends have told me to go talk to someone....but I really just can't. I sit there and make things up and pretend things are completely fine. I know the signs they are looking for and just make sure I don't say anything that might elude to them...
Oooh! research job has come up with one of my favourite uni lecturers - seriously tempted to apply, just feeling a bit wibbly about taking on a full time job at the moment
It's a big step to take Bear but would be great for you if you could get it. How long is since you were working full time?
Bear - thats a tough decision. No harm in applying so long as you don't get too let down if it doesn't go well. Good luck whatever you decide.
Another good day for me. Had my hair cut (twirls) and feeling quite energetic. I do believe I'm well and truly on the road to recovery.
Yay, great news there Soupy. I had a 'wrong end of Friday' morning followed by a better afternoon.
I pretty much finished off my old pair of trail running shoes on the night orienteering event on the Common last night. I have never encounted it so waterlogged and muddy. Made it rather hard going.
Well done by 'eck.
Good effort there, by 'eck.
The night orienteering is on areas that I'm very familiar with so I don't find it too difficult - navigation wise anyway. Dragging myself over muddy ground is another matter. I really could do with a better head torch though as a couple of times I ran straight past a control without seeing it. I would say it does require a good level of skill with a compass as accuracy is all the more important in the dark.
Off out with friends tomorrow. Another beer trip to Nottingham this time. It's not like me to do that 2 weeks running but it's just how it fell. Diet starts next week - again!
It's about fifteen months since I last worked full time. I know the peep I'd be working with from uni and I've heloed out with her research before. We get on great but in some ways that's a worry as she's more likely to ask about my time in my recent job and I don't want to have to lie
You don't have to lie Bear. Its perfectly acceptable to say you had long term health problems which are now resolved and you want this new post to be a positive new start that you feel well enough to do. You don't have to say any more than that and your honesty and openess may well go in your favour. I'd say go for it, it sounds ideal for you. You could always ask for a build up in hours as a reasonable adjustment under the Equality Act but I'd wait until you are offered the job before going in to those so sorts of discussions unless they specifically ask at interview, which I doubt. If you are the right person for the job they should accommodate you and you are starting off with nothin to hide. . On the application form, it may ask if you consider yourself disabled and I would tick yes. Mental health is covered under the Act.
Had a bad day yesterday and a sleepless night generally worrying about ridiculous scenarios that will probably never happen. I eventually got out for a run this morning and feel so much better for doing it.
Anyone else getting out there today?
Well done on the run ct. I dusted the cobwebs off "Damien the scarey road bike" and done an 18 mile ride.
Nice one. Think I might try hooking up with a local tri club for a bike ride tomorrow. I've not joined them before but reckon I might give it a go.
Hi. How is everyone?
Been a bit of difficult weekend for me. I finally just about seem to be getting going now. Could do with a weekend to recover from my weekend. Was supposed to be at an orienteering event this morning. As I had a later start time than everyone else I was going to make my own way there rather than share transport. Not suprisingly that became a no show - but it was definitely the right thing to do. I wouldn't have enjoyed it today.
Six miles sounds pretty good - but it certainly is a shame to have to stop when things are going so well. I had the same problem at the night orienteering. I didn't have time to recharge my batteries (in either sense of the term!) and my light was starting to fade towards the end. At least got myself orgainsed for this week with batteries already in the charger now.
Had an amazing birthday weekend with the bf. Finally found someone who completely understands me and accepts me and all my problems...yet typically has to be long distance. Such a pain.Hope everyone is well. By'eck well done on the eating. You asked how I dealt with it...well, it was slightly forced on me by my mum, and I hated seeing what effect me not eatining was having on her. But it took a long long time. I also went travelling for a while which helped so much and just got me out of the environment I was in. Change really helped me which probably really isn't an easy solution! But it's all about small steps. I think once you realise just what effect its having not on just yoruself but on those you love.....that's when it hits home. And having people to talk to openly and honestly also helps hugely.
I've had a phone call with a very special person today. I'm so proud of her
Otherwise it has been a mixed weekend. I've had fun and laughter with swimming buddies, but I also had a near death experience in the car that has affected me greatly. I was literally inches from hitting a stationary car at over 60mph on a very crowded motorway. I honestly don't now how I avoided it and how I am still alive and unscathed.
I'm guessing that's someone who doesn't normally do phone calls in which case that's great to hear.
Glad you pulled through OK but I can imagine that's left you pretty shaken and must have made it difficult to continue with your journey.
rwtw - great to hear things are well with you.
Just getting into don't want to go to bed mode cos if I do it will be Monday morning when I wake up.