Mental illness and running

11920222425203

Comments

  • That is not lazy by 'eck...what sort of cake?

    SOLB...forms are tricksy...I don't like them. I have paid in my cheque from the French contingent although because it's in euros it won't actually be in my account til next week. Pah.

    I *may* have had a small accident. I *may* have been walking in town and got sucked into the White Stuff shop where I *might* have bought a gorgeous top and a pair of 3/4 length equally gorgeous trousers. I repeat, *may*.

     

  • *wolf whistles at duck*



    I like clean kitchens image my kitchen now has a freezer and a cooker, only took me 5 months .... the fridge has decided its on its last legs now though, it was donated to me when I moved in so no idea how old it is. Have my fingers crossed it'll hang on in there indefinitely though. *shakes empty purse* I'm filling up sandwich bags with water to put in the new freezer, apparently its more inefficient to have an empty freezer and I only have a loaf of bread and some soup in it at the moment (its ok the freezer isn't hungry)
  • image thank you SOLB...My gran used to stuff her freezer with newspapers...I used to think she was mad. Turns out there was a valid reason!

  • Maybe not, I didn't bother to research it. Love the idea of the freezer enjoying the crossword though image

    I just made the mistake of looking in the mirror, I look horribly tired and ill. Had weird unconnected images and scenes mixed in with nightmares last night but that doesn't account for looking and feeling quite this horrible. I've looked better after weeks of insomnia ... rubbish broken mind infecting everything else. On the plus side if I look this dreadful at the ATOS assessment I'll stand more of a chance of avoiding the job centre until I'm well enough to work without arguing with invisible people in the middle of the office!
  • I'm sure you don't look as bad as you think SOLB. You're probably doing what we all do sometimes which is noticed our worst bits and ignoring our best! (Good job on getting cleaned for the OT, that's a win)

    I'm enjoying the list Mima, they're a good way organising your day. That's probably why I don't do them!

    Sometimes you fall into a shop and money flies out of your pocket and there's nothing you can do about it. image

  • I did that too. I only went into the shoe shop cos Moo wanted to say hello to the cat...
  • Very wise Mr Beno



    Ha ha by 'eck, mission accomplished then ... Moo did get to see the kitty after all, in fact I'd say you over achieved!!
  • I have not yet packed. Hmm. Or eaten dinner. Or decided what to have for dinner. Or moved off the sofa. This is not good progress.

    by 'eck - I used to do that too image

    SOLB - bet you look fine...like Ben-o said we only see the bad bits in ourselves. Bet you looked beautiful.

    Ben-o is wise. Very wise.

  • B*LLOCKS I need to go to SOLBsis' hen do and a Jubilee picnic this weekend .... will be weak and fainty for hen do if I don't eat and its awkward if I don't eat at the picnic cos you can bring your own food and Mummy SOLB is so pleased cos OCD girl usually can't eat at events with them image I made a deal with myself that I'd bring it to an end after 10 days cos I don't want it to get out of control... don't wanna break the fast then start again after the weekend, I don't like square one and it'll only be day 8 on Sat. I'm worried that it'll go on longer if I start again. Don't wanna get into a horrible cycle, thought if I set a shortish goal then I might be able to do it and move on. The 10 days need to be continuous if I break Sat and Sun I'll have to start over on Monday image

    Rubbish stupid solb image
  • Mr P I can't answer PM's on my phone and my computer is poorly image you are very welcome to ask why, I don't write stuff that I won't discuss.

    I'm fasting because it makes me feel calmer, it feels horrible for the first 3 days then so much better afterwards, the world just doesn't get to you the same way. I talked to the therapist about in on Monday so it won't go unchecked, it's not as bad as it sounds - though I'm a bit more concerned if I stop and start again image

    It's complicated and nawty, I can't run if I'm not eating and its not especially good for me + there's a chance I don't stay in control (hence bringing it up with the therapist) but it just seemed so much better than carrying on losing the plot.
  • SOLB - you are neither rubbish nor stupid. You are doing what you can to regain some control and you know it won't go on too long because you have made a plan. Would having another chat with your therapist help, maybe they can try and work a solution out with you...don't want you being fainty lovely. I'm not going to say just start again or just end it, I know it's not that simple - but maybe someone who knows you (i.e. therapist) can help? ((SOLB))

  • Thanks ducky, I'm not seeing the therapist for 2 weeks cos next Monday is a bank holiday. Could go to the docs if I was worried but it isn't physically dangerous enough for them to be concerned until 2-3 weeks in and I wasn't planning on being nawty for that long.

    I probably won't pass out duck, I didn't last time even when my BP hit 63/38 (that one wasn't short, back to back fasts followed by 30 days on just water - hence the fear of losing control) Will probably be fine, maybe I'll end early and just leave it alone, will try to work towards accepting that as an option, would be preferable
  • Mr PuffyMr Puffy ✭✭✭

    Is it acceptable to eat the same thing all the time? If you had a bowl of porridge each morning- or perhps even an instant pot - you could avoid the faint? or do you need to have eaten nothing?

    I would be less than your friend if I claimed to understand, but I can't help trying!

  • Now that sounds like a very sensible decision SOLB. I'll be thinking of you heaps, hen parties scare the doodah out of me!

    Hope you manage to have a lovely time - and remember, you are rather fab xx

  • SOLB, what exactly are you taking in with your fasts? Can you try milkshakes or something similar. It is horrible when you feel the only control you have is over your food intake. I did something similar in hospital cos Moo had also been admitted to the children's ward and the staff up there were not being very supportive. No-one noticed I was skipping meals and only drinking water until I passed out...
  • Has to be just water, am missing tea the most!

    Thanks for being supportive you guys, I know its stupid just can't control it just yet.

    I'm a very lucky solb to have you guys in my life xxxx
  • Poor by eck, I'm so glad that bit is behind you - must have been such a difficult time (((by 'eck)))
  • Could you compromise by mixing in some of the rehydration powers you get from the chemist. That will help your salt balance which in turn will help your brain feel a little bit happier.
  • SOLB, it seems like you are punishing yourself by not eating and then punishing yourself (blaming yourself) for doing that. Is there something that is good for you (or at least not bad) but helps you feel in control? Could you eat and then run (maintaining the feeling of being in control but not doing it excessively)?

  • I don't think so by eck, will pick some up anyway just in case... I tried to push it to fruit tea today and couldn't. Not such a problem if it has to break over the weekend anyway, just won't stand up too quickly! Hope I leave it alone then though I'd be surprised if I do ... may run Sunday night to remind me what I'm giving up if I start over!

    its not dangerous really just not very useful
  • X-post Ben-o. I think my best bet is to leave it alone til sat morning then hope I don't feel overwhelmed by the urge to start again on Monday ... think its better already if I want to stop it cos I didn't before image
  • That is good about wanted to stop SOLB. You say it's not dangerous but it's not healthy and it worries me. I understand that you need to do it, I just wish there was a healthier and kinder way to feel in control and not overwhelmed.

  • It'll be ok Ben-o, I feel much better now and the main trigger has gone so might all resolve at the weekend, plus I get to go bobsleighing which will be fun image
  • Bobsleighing sounds cool!

    I'm glad you're feeling better, I'll still worry though (and that's ok).

  • Ok honey. Will look forward to reporting that I've stopped being a bananahead soon image

    Have been reading half a yellow sun, fab book but it gives me nightmares got some of the stuff Roald Dahl wrote for grownups out of the library - gonna settle down and read that instead tonight. Night everyone xxx
  • Morning everyone. Not sure 6.10 really is morning, but my son thinks so therefore I am awake and trying to function.

    SOLB, how are you feeling this morning?

    Mr puffy, I am dreadfully sorry. I forgot to say hello to you.

    Hi Mimaduck, how did your meeting go?

    Ben-o, morning! How are you?
  • Morning Moo, morning by 'eck

    Feeling OK thanks darling, gonna see solbsis and the minis this morning image

    How are you darling? Are the new shoes settling in their new home ok or do you think they might be a bit lonely and need more new shoes as company?

    Xxx
  • I am feeling proud of myself, I've just posted a note through creepy neighbours door that goes something like this:



    blah blah please stop moving the water butt cos the drainpipe is incomplete causing mould blah blah

    "I also want to remind you that I have politely asked you not to talk to me. It makes me ill and means that I feel I can't go outside if you are likely to be there. I know you don't mean to do any harm but it does harm. If you need to communicate with me please leave a note"

    If he ignores this note too then I feel within my rights to reply "don't talk to me" every time he speaks at me. not gonna be cornered and afraid of him anymore he can just f*** off!!

  • Well done SOLB.

    The cats don't like this weather. They keep trying to use the same cool places to sleep and end up having an argument. They can't even be bothered to do that properly.

    Shoes are so comfy.Mr by 'eck did have a little squeak when I showed him and told him how much they cost. Far cheaper than his tho!
Sign In or Register to comment.