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Mental illness and running
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That is not lazy by 'eck...what sort of cake?
SOLB...forms are tricksy...I don't like them. I have paid in my cheque from the French contingent although because it's in euros it won't actually be in my account til next week. Pah.
I *may* have had a small accident. I *may* have been walking in town and got sucked into the White Stuff shop where I *might* have bought a gorgeous top and a pair of 3/4 length equally gorgeous trousers. I repeat, *may*.
I like clean kitchens
I just made the mistake of looking in the mirror, I look horribly tired and ill. Had weird unconnected images and scenes mixed in with nightmares last night but that doesn't account for looking and feeling quite this horrible. I've looked better after weeks of insomnia ... rubbish broken mind infecting everything else. On the plus side if I look this dreadful at the ATOS assessment I'll stand more of a chance of avoiding the job centre until I'm well enough to work without arguing with invisible people in the middle of the office!
I'm sure you don't look as bad as you think SOLB. You're probably doing what we all do sometimes which is noticed our worst bits and ignoring our best! (Good job on getting cleaned for the OT, that's a win)
I'm enjoying the list Mima, they're a good way organising your day. That's probably why I don't do them!
Sometimes you fall into a shop and money flies out of your pocket and there's nothing you can do about it.
Ha ha by 'eck, mission accomplished then ... Moo did get to see the kitty after all, in fact I'd say you over achieved!!
I have not yet packed. Hmm. Or eaten dinner. Or decided what to have for dinner. Or moved off the sofa. This is not good progress.
by 'eck - I used to do that too
SOLB - bet you look fine...like Ben-o said we only see the bad bits in ourselves. Bet you looked beautiful.
Ben-o is wise. Very wise.
Rubbish stupid solb
I'm fasting because it makes me feel calmer, it feels horrible for the first 3 days then so much better afterwards, the world just doesn't get to you the same way. I talked to the therapist about in on Monday so it won't go unchecked, it's not as bad as it sounds - though I'm a bit more concerned if I stop and start again
It's complicated and nawty, I can't run if I'm not eating and its not especially good for me + there's a chance I don't stay in control (hence bringing it up with the therapist) but it just seemed so much better than carrying on losing the plot.
SOLB - you are neither rubbish nor stupid. You are doing what you can to regain some control and you know it won't go on too long because you have made a plan. Would having another chat with your therapist help, maybe they can try and work a solution out with you...don't want you being fainty lovely. I'm not going to say just start again or just end it, I know it's not that simple - but maybe someone who knows you (i.e. therapist) can help? ((SOLB))
I probably won't pass out duck, I didn't last time even when my BP hit 63/38 (that one wasn't short, back to back fasts followed by 30 days on just water - hence the fear of losing control) Will probably be fine, maybe I'll end early and just leave it alone, will try to work towards accepting that as an option, would be preferable
Is it acceptable to eat the same thing all the time? If you had a bowl of porridge each morning- or perhps even an instant pot - you could avoid the faint? or do you need to have eaten nothing?
I would be less than your friend if I claimed to understand, but I can't help trying!
Now that sounds like a very sensible decision SOLB. I'll be thinking of you heaps, hen parties scare the doodah out of me!
Hope you manage to have a lovely time - and remember, you are rather fab xx
Thanks for being supportive you guys, I know its stupid just can't control it just yet.
I'm a very lucky solb to have you guys in my life xxxx
SOLB, it seems like you are punishing yourself by not eating and then punishing yourself (blaming yourself) for doing that. Is there something that is good for you (or at least not bad) but helps you feel in control? Could you eat and then run (maintaining the feeling of being in control but not doing it excessively)?
its not dangerous really just not very useful
That is good about wanted to stop SOLB. You say it's not dangerous but it's not healthy and it worries me. I understand that you need to do it, I just wish there was a healthier and kinder way to feel in control and not overwhelmed.
Bobsleighing sounds cool!
I'm glad you're feeling better, I'll still worry though (and that's ok).
Have been reading half a yellow sun, fab book but it gives me nightmares got some of the stuff Roald Dahl wrote for grownups out of the library - gonna settle down and read that instead tonight. Night everyone xxx
SOLB, how are you feeling this morning?
Mr puffy, I am dreadfully sorry. I forgot to say hello to you.
Hi Mimaduck, how did your meeting go?
Ben-o, morning! How are you?
Feeling OK thanks darling, gonna see solbsis and the minis this morning
How are you darling? Are the new shoes settling in their new home ok or do you think they might be a bit lonely and need more new shoes as company?
Xxx
blah blah please stop moving the water butt cos the drainpipe is incomplete causing mould blah blah
"I also want to remind you that I have politely asked you not to talk to me. It makes me ill and means that I feel I can't go outside if you are likely to be there. I know you don't mean to do any harm but it does harm. If you need to communicate with me please leave a note"
If he ignores this note too then I feel within my rights to reply "don't talk to me" every time he speaks at me. not gonna be cornered and afraid of him anymore he can just f*** off!!
The cats don't like this weather. They keep trying to use the same cool places to sleep and end up having an argument. They can't even be bothered to do that properly.
Shoes are so comfy.Mr by 'eck did have a little squeak when I showed him and told him how much they cost. Far cheaper than his tho!