Mental illness and running



  • *oogles shoes*

    poor kitties


    just went to get the washing in, walked past creepy neighbour who gave me an exceptionally sulky glare but didn't speak image

    (Didn't do it on purpose, thought the coast was clear)

    YAY don't care if he feels angry or hard done by so long as he leaves me alone!!
  • How was it with SOLBsis and the mini's today?
  • That's quite a cool idea, a bit like exposure therapy with an OCD twist! How do you cope when the lamp post is on the left now though *head explodes*

    I don't feel like I make 'the rules' but I appreciate that that's illogical and I must on some level.

    I've done some of them since childhood, can't imagine what it'd be like without them, must be amazing (though the house would be messier!) The therapist says when the internal stuff is less out of control OCD gets easier to fight with exposure.

    It's weird the OCD isn't the worst of my mental health problems but it causes the most disruption to my day to day life. The only time its ever lost its power was when I was in the middle of all the homeless stuff, I had a couple of 'breakdowns' and for a few days after each the OCD was almost gone ... cos its a coping strategy and I'd stopped coping apparently.

    Glad you got through it kk image
  • You could make a list of the things you would love to do that you can't at the moment because of the ocd/fasting and for each rule you manage to adjust you could celebrate by doing somethin positive. Sometimes it's hard to see how to get there but it's often easier to do it in little steps. Perhaps, by adding a bit of squash to the water, or sucking a boiled sweet for 30 seconds. Does that make sense
  • Hey by 'eck, was wonderful to see the minis, we watered the flowers (and a thirsty brick) had a strawberries and Ribena break, choose stickers and did some races image

    Was lovely to see solbsis too but she kept going on about feeling like something was wrong and I felt (irrationally) irritated and sad. She said it was just a twin feeling but I wondered whether she'd seen my posts here (probably just a bit paranoid) I like having a space where I'm really honest so decided it was worth the risk. Hate it when the family worry though. I feel sad that they are concerned when they needn't be and oppressed by the scrutiny. I've raised with the therapist and worrying them doesn't achieve anything, just makes everyone frustrated and miserable.
  • My Mum is only happy if she has something to worry about. (I exaggerate a bit)

  • Yes it does by eck, I'm not worried by the fast at all its very temporary and more conscious; just coping in a nawty way rather than stuck with it

    Proper OCDwise I'd love to be able to eat whatever I wanted (cos the 'safe food list is very annoying) and to be able to eat out.

    Would be fab if I wasn't freaked out by touching things other people have touched (doors, light switches and even the art stuff at therapy) doesn't matter as much in the winter cos gloved and sleeves are allowed!

    I don't mind the stupid tapping and stuff so much.

    Would be cool if I didn't spend so much time cleaning but its quite a comfortable calming feeling rather than the fear and anxiety in the others
  • Hey Big D

    Bless her image

    Problem is my family would freak out about not eating cos I almost died when it got out of control a few years ago. They'd be intrusively worried (prob want me sectioned) and its not necessary, isn't like that and I've flagged it with my treatment team from day 2, its just not as bad but they cant be expected to believe that.
  • Been a horrible evening full of guilt, shame and general rubbishness.

    Would hope tomorrow would be better but I'm meeting the OT in the morning to do horrible ATOS form; find it really hard confronting all the bad things in such concentration. I have to talk about stuff I haven't even discussed with the therapist yet. Just hate it.

    Going to see my Dad and Spotty in the afternoon don't wanna go cos I'll feel pressured to stay longer.

    Tired and grumpy; can you tell? *spreads some cheerful dust about*

    Off to change the water filter and get to bed. Hope you have a good night all xxx
  • Oh SOLB, why have you ended up feeling shame? It sounds likes you've had a good day in a number of ways.

    Have a hug. *hug*

  • SOLB, big huge hugs to you. Would you like a bottle of water? It's fresh from the shop. I also have some brownies fresh from the oven if anyone is interested.
  • I love brownies!

  • Today got proper pants.
  • What happened By Eck?

  • Had to take my son to hospital cos he keeps falling over. He probably needs an mri to check for tumours
  • Wow, that's pants. I'm sorry. Have they given you a date? How are you feeling/coping about it?

  • We go back a week on Tuesday to see if he's improved. He's got antibiotics to take until then in case it just happens to be some infection they can't find. If he isn't better I think they are going to take him in for the mri.

    How are we doing? Not sure. It's a mix of being really calm cos we've been through so much with him, but worried cos none of the options are brilliant.
  • I'm surprised you can be calm at all, I'd be really anxious. The medical staff don't seem to be panicking or rushing about, which is a good sign. What does your son make of it all?

  • He's only 2 but he knows all the staff really well so likes going there.
  • Cool. I spent some time in hospital when I was little and you get used to it really quickly. I dread to think how stressful it must have been for my poor parents though!

  • He spent his first and second birthdays in hospital...
  • We are gonna have to help you to plan a brilliant 3rd birthday party for brave special Moo image

    How is Moo has the falling over lessoned? *wraps Moo up in bubble wrap, then wraps the cat to make Moo laugh* How are you feeling by 'eck? As Ben-o said its reassuring that the medical types aren't rushing about in a panic but must still be very worrying for you and Mr by eck

    Fanx for the water by eck, I drank some fruit tea yesterday. Pleased with that but a little concerned as I'll need to break the fast somehow tomorrow and don't feel quite there, will manage though. Have done some thinking and figured it out more, its cos I've been feeling dirty and disgusting and contaminated and the stupid voices kept saying 'she's dirty and disgusting etc' so I thought just pure, clean water might help ... dunno why 10 days is the minimum but it makes sense to me now in a stupid makes no sense sort of way! Shame I'm not seeing the psychologist til a week Monday to wiggle a plan out with her but at least I have a place to start now.

    I had a good day yest the form makes grim reading but we have skipped the worst section to do next time and the OT was lovely. Ended up having a really nice afternoon with Dad and the spotty one! Dad was on good form and spotty and I played and played til neither of us could run anymore we ended up in a big spotty snoozy heap. We went for a walk and played hurling ourselves in the very long grass, we were silly huggy spies (though our position may have been given away by our frequent rolling about giggling breaks!)

    Got loads to do but the sleep fairy has deserted me the last few days, gonna have to overcome the CBAs.

    Really hope young Moo is OK

  • Falling over hasn't improved. He's at nursery today and I joined him for the teddy bears pircnic. He is wanting to run around like the others but spends most of his time with his face on the ground. I'm pumping him with antibiotics and hoping he will develop and ear infection or chickenpox or something!

    Spotty dog must be grateful to have such a good playmate. Some forms are nasty and when you have to put the info down it can get really depressing.
  • image *crosses fingers for ear infection* poor little darling. Must be horrible to watch too (((by eck and moo)))

    I'm spotty dogs favourite person and he's my favourite spotty thing. I get the most enthusiastic welcomes ever. Some Dalmatians can smile, Ollie is one of the grinning ones. It's so lovely (and looks creepy) as he comes bounding up grinning.
  • Corr blimey I am seriously grumpy. PMT + food and sleep deprivation makes for a seriously mean solb ... better get a grip before solbsis' hen do or they'll end up shoving me down the slope without the sledge!!
  • Poor grumpy SOLB. *hug*

  • Yup, think you need to be a bit understanding of how your body is feeling SOLB. I went to the gym today to put together my programme. Lots of weights and core work. Yuck!
  • Aww you two are way too nice. Mean grumpy solbs don't get hugs! I went shopping today, bought lots of fruit and veg, I'm wondering if I can convince myself that's as clean as water (if I can feel I've cleansed rotting, bad inside solb already it could)...worth a shot image

    Ooo I quite like core stuff but don't really get on with free weights. I think I like them and think they are more interesting than resistance machines but then I get really anxious that I'm doing it all wrong.

    Glad you have a programme sorted, sounds positive image
  • The people at my gym are really good.

    Could you make a smoothie thing with your fruit/veg? That's really good for physical cleansing, or make a veg soup
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