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violence in senior school
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Nice one Stevie G. ¦oD
Have to agree with PhilPub, I wasn't sure whether or not Squeakz was trolling with that lengthy and rather extreme reaction!
Hmm, difficult call BDB, yes a lesson about being careful who you mouth off to... but do you always want to be afraid to speak up for yourself, to look down avoid eye contact, and not answer back to a leary loud mouth?
The afternoon of the incident my son said to me something along the lines of.. "well I've learnt my lesson, don't stick up for my mates".
He also learnt that a punch in the face is painful and shocking, but that he still put the aggressor on his arse and he feels good about that. Which is fine. But we did have a conversation about how it would have then been wrong if he'd kicked the lad while he was on the ground. Fair play you see!
True Miffi - it's a difficult balance.
It sounds to me though that you're being rational about it and talking so hopefully you'll strike that balance between you.
its always a difficult one that is even harder to decide in the heat of the moment........
your son took his legs away and so felt good...............the problem with all attacks.verbal, physical from all sides is that the unexpected can change things so easily..........
there was some thing brewing and building up with a number of kids there today.........
the other guy got a "lucky" punch that made the right contact with your son that obviously hurt and left a nasty mark...........
your son got a "lucky" strike that got the kid to the ground...............he landed on his bum......he could of lost his balance and feel back and knocked himself unconsious..................the same incident...a slightly different outcome and your son would be the one excluded and making the local papers even as the media could write it up which ever way they wanted to...............
my problem with violence in any form is that it can lead to something so much bigger...............
mostly things started and finished with the fight
dragging things on and on and on does not help
Personally the phrase "Jog on" is an embarrasing one for me.
I used it once...in some dark loud club at midnight years back, when some (as i thought) boozed up goon came over and shoved me. A little shove back and quick "jog on" was mouthed.
10mins later I saw the guy's CARER helping him.
Now it's arguable whether someone who needs a carer should be in a packed loud dark club at midnight, but I did feel a fool for a bit
Mentally handicapped not physically.
Not a great choice of venus to take a guy who clearly didn't have any idea what was going on, and wasn't in control of their actions...ie shoving peope and roaring in people's faces
"Jog on" as a thread of violence !? Not as far as I'm concerned either - I'm afraid you've got that wrong Squeakz.
Either way it sounds like the OPs son can take care of himself which is a good thing for him - it's unfortunate but as a young lad if you can put on a bit of a front it helps. Society accepts a certain amount of violence amongst kids that it doesn't accept amongst adults - if this guy did the same thing to the same people in 10 years time he'd end up in court and quite possibly in jail.
I'd take 'Jog on' as a way of saying clear off.
The fight seems to have been 6 of one and half a dozen from what's been said. Coming off worse doesn't make you the victim....
That said I think the school should have responded to the queries and I'd make an appointment to see the head if no info was forthcoming.
At Miss LB's school there IS no fist fighting. It's an all girl's school and fist fights simply don't happen. Girls tend to deal with issues more with their forked tongues in my (limited) experience but I can honestly say there have been no fights since she's been there. That doesn't mean bullying doesn't go on. I'm sure it does. Anyone who thinks you can't bully one just as successfully emotionally is probably kidding themselves.
And I used to BE a bully. I'm not proud of it. In fact I'm extremely ashamed of it. But there were reasons for that behaviour. Not excuses, just reasons. I can explain why but not everyone wants to hear it from the other viewpoint. There are always two sides to everything.
I keep forgetting its on. I don't watch telly as a rule but stumbled across this one because #3 teen was watching it a few weeks ago and was absolutely drawn in. I think its a fantastic representation of what teachers and pupils have to deal with in an average day in our schools, more so the urban ones. Mine are lucky enoug to attend a fairly decent, small rural school but I went to an inner city comp so recognise a lot of the personalities in that programme.
'Jog on' asking for trouble? A threat? The girls in the office will wet themselves laughing when I tell them that. Its randomism. An old saying (Sweeny or something wasn't it?) that has been re-hashed but today's generation as a vague dismissal or put down. I was told to 'jog on' by my colleague just last week after asking her a cheeky (derogatory) question and took it in good humour. I've told my own kids to 'jog on' when they've asked for a taxi run. Should I start ducking for cover from now on?
I (probably niavely) can't get over some of the over reactionary comments on this thread. Do people really actually live in cotton wool world? I think the OP handled the situation very sensibly and hope that all involved get the resolution they desire.
CD - I did a little straw poll tonight whilst on the touchline at a kids footy match. Not a SINGLE person thought "jog on" meant anything other than "bugger off" or similar.
I went to a school where people fought. The teachers would wade in within 30 seconds and we'd all be disappointed it was all over. We did the "FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT" chant and we made the fight circle with our baying bodies. I don't think things have changed too much - except that now maybe the teachers are shit scared of losing their careers if they act to stop the fracas.
Just an update
an email to head of year asking for info on what action school took went unanswered. I patiently gave her a week. A voice mail I left similarly received no response so this morning I emailed the deputy head and said I wanted a response before the school break for half term. 5 mins later he emailed his reply .Basically the other child was immediately removed from mainstream school and he says other interventions are in place for that child. Which is more or less what I knew. Leaves a slightly bad taste that I had to pursue the school to get this info.
Anyway it's over and done with now (hopefully).
Glad I'm not the only one happily believing jog on isn't a vile threat, that post really surprised me.
i afraid that kids know now a days there untouchable
Just out of interest miffi, why does it matter so much that the other child was punished? you said that you already knew what happened, so why the need to chase it up so much?
Incidentally, i never thought jog on meant anything other than something along the lines of p155 off, and that's certainly how it has been used whenever I've heard it.
toby.yes kids are untouchable nowadays that you can't physically beat them or sexually touch them without people taking umbridge...............
but there are other ways of dealing with it and hopefully putting in methods that help children understand why they do things............
whilst many might find it was better in the old days for the adult to beat the shoit out of the kid.........what did that teach the kid but the factb that those who arfe in charge are those who can hit hardest..........so confirming that they were right to hit smaller kids........
when these peopel leave school then they will still sort out their problems with violence until they get put in jail..........
if you can teach some of these children how to understand their emotions and also how then to deal with them appropriatley.........then you will keep them from spending ahlf of their life in and out of jail destroying many lives..........
yes it might not work for them all.but what have you lost.........nothing but a short term pleasure that the adult felt they were in charge......
a ggod teacher and system can work with out violence
I had no contact at all from the school after I was asked to take my son home due to the 'damage' to his face. I only heard the kid had been put in referral because that is what my son heard via the grapevine at school.
I felt the school should have contacted me so I knew what action they had taken. They didn't so I chased it up. would you not have done the same?
I think you have a right to know that an investigation had taken place and that action had been taken Miffi.............and as you hadn't heard then i think you were right to keep on asking...........
an investiagtion is important.............for all sets of parents.....because In some cases it can identify where all the children might have made mistakes and as a parent you will have the full facts so that you can discuss it in full with your child..............
even if its just to reassure you that your own child was not at fault...
..........because teenagers do not always tell their parents the full truth
I have had experience of being the parent on both sides of these matters