• Mrs SAMrs SA ✭✭✭

    FOUND   One Raleigh foot pump.  Any takers?

  • Ah yes that would be mine.
  • Great race reports, here's my effort. I'll keep it as brief as possible.

    Friday 18th May, "Razor what time do you want picking up in the morning?"

    " I give you a bell later and let you know" okay nice one.

    7pm..... No call .... 8pm .... No call, thinking to myself, oh maybe he's not going, bad leg and all.

    Any excuse for me not to do it. 9pm phone rings. "Des pick me up at 8 and don't be late, wanna get there in plenty of time check out the course and sort yourself out.. Have you got everything? " yes coach"

    "Good should be a nice little tester for you".

    "Ya looking forward to it".

    Truth is I wasn't looking forward to it, this ironman lark wasn't even my idea, I was only doing it to support razor. The lengths some people will go to, dislocated ankle and broken leg. If I didn't know better, I might start believing in conspiracy theory's.

    Any how, slightly sleepless night. But up early Saturday morning, dropped my other half at Piccadilly train station. This was the only time I ever wished I was going to a cake exhibition.

    Got to Razors bang on eight, he was sat in the window waiting for me, theres no getting out off this now. Off to sunny Macc.

    Arrives at Mr and Mrs SA's around 8.45 greeted with much love and enthusiasm from total strangers. Immediately made to feel like family, fantastic couple. Short time later fellow pirates arrived, we all got sorted and then had a nice ride down to the leisure centre. Had a chat with bburn plodder as she reports. Loved the thoughts of the Ribble Valley and surrounding area, she will know what I mean. Met cake outside the pool, real nice chap.

    Down at the leisure centre I was thinking I ain't gonna enjoy this public swimming, loads of kids and old folks queuing up to get it. I had visions of a scene from cocoon in my head.

    Big up to the two guys who had driven up from Essex to be with us on Saturday. Two top geezers, manned T1 and gave us great support all day. Cheers geezers.

    Swim, got in behind Mrs SA and bburn time on my watch 10.13 and a bit, set off at my usual pace. Felt good, all six of us stole a lane that I think was reserved for Saturday morning Swimming lessons. I managed to count up to or around 14 then lost it, I asked bburn plodder how many lengths we had done. After that I just relied on Mrs SA, I don't remember passing her or her passing me, so I figured I'll get out after her. Hoping that she had counted correctly, I got out an rushed towards the locker room. time 10.50. Happy with that.

    I spent 20p on a locker and then couldn't remember my number, I was frantically trying every lock. Must have looked like a demented contestant on a Japanese game show. After the sixth attempt bingo, I was just about to whip my trunks down when by chance I looked behind me. There stood two young girls around 12 years old looking at some idiot trying to get a bloody folded towel out of a locker no bigger than a post box.

    Thank goodness I hadn't dropped my trollies, I then calmly got my bike clothes out off the locker and found the gents changing area. The only thing I wanted to do was dry my arse properly, I was determined not to end up with an arse like a chimpanzee on heat.

    To many wet rides with Razor during the winter, couldn't face an other painful ride.

    Got out to T1 just behind Mrs SA, was chuffed really cause I didn't know the way back to the start of the cycle course.

    Bike. Set off in a comfortable mode looking out for the signs SA had posted the evening before. Found my way around no problems, after about four laps I too started to see the different landmarks on the way round. The empty toy box, the strange black rubber object. The page 3 girl in the bushes, un like bburn plodder I had a good look then looked forward to seeing her on every lap. <i
  • During about the 3rd or 4th lap I began to have bike malfunction, the gears were slipping. It was the noise that drove me mad more than anything, I stopped at the feed station expecting one of the pit crew to fix me in around 8.5 seconds. Just blank looks, it's never like that on the tele.

    I cracked on and after a few mins got off to try and sort it myself, to be honest I may as well just have popped the hood on a racing car ( clueless ) I just tried to tighten the rear cable. I then rode the rest of the distance on the top cog. The laps did feel shorter the more you did. Great support from the feed station, Grandpa SA. Wounded I missed the chips Grandma SA served up have way round, I would have defo stopped half way round for those bad boys.

    Lap 9 Razor shouts out three to go, I was chuffed looked down at my watch instantly knew I hadn't done 9. Just ignored it and gritted my teeth through that lap. 3 to go now, those last three seemed to last for ages.

    I pushed on to see the boobs in the bush, I can be so childish sometimes, but hey boobs are boobs wherever they are.

    T2 SA greeted me with that massive smile of his and instructed me where the dismount line was. He took my bike and I rushed to his garage for T2, I changed into long socks took off my bike top. I then calmly reached into my bag and out came the pirate tri top.

    This was the first time I had pulled this garment over my head to wear it in combat. I had an overwhelming feeling of pride at that moment, SA kindly allowed me to use his loo. I had the biggest pee, I can remember thinking come on the clocks running.

    Run, out of SA's turning right up the street, short baby strides, my back was hurting. I knew it would hurt but thought keep going, I thought I was running very slow to begin with. Right thigh started to hurt, no cramp but felt similar, again told myself, " come n it's gonna hurt, keep going" which I did. The right leg eased off then the left leg started exactly the same.

    Ran through that and was just taking on water, on my first leg of the run I unfortunately took a wrong turn. SA came after me in his scooby do and put me straight.

    As I was running I ran past a group of about 8 or 9 youths aged between 13 and 16 all camped outside the local precinct of about three or four shops. One being the local off licence. As I'm running towards the group I'm thinking have I grown an extra head or something? Every kid was looking at me, as I got about 6 feet from them the biggest one stepped forward onto the pavement in front off me.

    I'm thinking, come on I'm not having a 16 year old nicking my iPod, I'm six foot tall weigh 15 stone. This boy has got some balls.

    I'm just deciding in my head my next move, the kid steps right in my path, my heart beats even faster. " hear mate will you go the shop for us".

    PMSL in my head, "no mate I'm sorry" I didn't bother to stop and introduce myself or give him a job description. Made me chuckle and lifted my spirits a bit.

    Two feed stations on the run, SA's mum and dads and SA's, great support at both venues. Top, top people. I was running with stitch for long periods, not something I was used to. The flat coke and malt loaf wasn't mixing well inside, so this slowed me down a bit. Last turn into SA,s street was great, superb feeling thinking thank goodness I've finished.

    Looking up the street I could see the group notice me, I could see the black flag being unravelled across the road. Applause by all lifted me again and I found a bit more to finish. 6hrs 55mins.

    Well happy with that, razor greeted me with a big grin on his face and a well deserved man hug. It was tuff, it seemed to go much quicker than the seven hours I was out there.

    I did have all the usual negative thoughts about having to do that distance again
  • I did have all the usual negative thoughts about having to do that distance again to become an ironman distance triathlete. However with that group of people around us in Nottingham there's no way I ain't gonna give that bad boy my best effort.

    Big thanks first to Razor..... Massive support and my inspiration , love that bloke to bits. Gutted he won't get the chance to do the outlaw this year, I know he will be there 2013.

    Mr and mrs SA, grandma and grandpa SA, the two great geezers, up the hammers. Moving along, cake, bburn plodder and Jordan. forgive me if I've missed anyone. Sorry it wasn't brief after all. Great day out look forward to any more, thanks guys. Xxxxx
  • Well, Im not going to write a race report, others can say it much more eloquently, funnily and comprehensively but one thing I will say is that I learned a lot of stuff this last weekend. 

    People have said about mr/mrs SA's hospitality, which was second to none, all i can say is, if its possible, get your arse down there next year and you WILL be made extremely welcome, you WILL have a laugh and i know you will look back at that weekend in years to come with the best of memories.

    Others have commented on Marshallinis ability to make a cheetah look like a sloth, and truely, he does have some speed but the thing that impressed me from this weekend though is the determination of some people. I really hope he wont be too embarassed but Slagiatt was the star of Sunday. By his own admission he aint the fastest atheletes but he is so commited to finishing no matter what i think that deserves some kudos.

    I didnt go up to Macclesfield to demostrate my atheletic prowess, which is a good job because next to the Marshallini I would look pedestrian, I went with the intent of a good training venture and put a few names to faces. However i did have one personal victory, in the pool, and clocked a time of 38:26 for the 76 laps which is a damn sight quicker than i anticipated. The first bike lap i did was with Colourin, nice and gentle so i got the jist of the course and then I did a couple of quick laps  and found out how tiring constant undulations are, i normally train on the Vitruvian/ Dambuster route so have 3 major up hills and loads of flat to recover. So my bike split was just over 3 hours. On the run I shirked a bit, ran with Nobby and had a bio break on lap 1, stopped and had a chat with mrs sa on lap 2, went round with Colourin on lap 3 and round with the big man on lap 4, every lap felt different but as equally leg dulling. My run time is a bit (a lot ) skewed, If i didnt stop and chat and wait for people to run round with i would have clocked 1:45 but my offical time was 2:10, I finished with Mr SA in around 6:20 I think i heard him say but who cares about time when your having fun, and it was fun, every minute. 

    and yes, it was 12 laps to get your 55 miles, if you only did 11 you have to go back next week and do the extra oneimage 

    So, would I do it again, of course i would, next year I'll bring the sausages image

  • and Melds - the hair will return for the Outlaw image


  • I think i must have made the distance up on the cycle with my de tour which gave myself and colourins bf a guided tour of macc after i made a silly error turning right before the feedstation and some how ending up on the run route.We oassed the leisure centre and finally found our way back to the cycle route. A guided tour of macclesfield led by myself with colourins bf following.Theres a lesson to be learnt.If you want to go the right way dont follow me image

    .This was again demonstrated on the run as i missed the right turn after the feedstation at grandpa SA's (who i must say was outstanding in his support and blatant lies saying i was the first runner past,it made me feel good) and i ran down past a row of shops.It was only after this i remembered SA stating if you pass the shops you've ran too far. Somehow navigated my way back to SA's house and started lap 2 fuelling with some jelly babies before Jordy had them allimage.Lap 2 i sighted SA and followed him to the right turn id previously missed so i knew where i was going
  • Mrs SAMrs SA ✭✭✭

    Great race reports peeps image    Mine will be up later.   Went out on the bike this morning.   The boobs are still there!!  image

  • "The Macclesfield Boobs" are fast becoming a famous local landmarkimageimage.

    If it's any consolation Bobby Nobby, I visited the shops on the run too. I had no excuse, it was on lap 3!!!! I'd gone the right route twice already, but for some reason I decided to have a "moment" and head off the wrong way. It slowly dawned on me that I didn't remember these shops from the previousl laps, so I did a U turn and ran back to the turning. Not a long way, but I was cursing myself for running any further than I absolutely had too.

    I have no idea how many laps I did on the bike, lost count after about 3, but my garmin measured the course at 55.89 miles, so that's good enough for meimage

    Great race reports guys imageimage 

  • Doner Kebab wrote (see)


    and yes, it was 12 laps to get your 55 miles, if you only did 11 you have to go back next week and do the extra oneimage 

    So, would I do it again, of course i would, next year I'll bring the sausages image

    imageimage Oh heck that's one mystery solved might have to pop back over the hills in a few weeks and do this again. image

  • Not a race report as such, just my ramblings about the weekend


    So way back in December last year when I ideally posted up on the forum about our DIY Half IM I fully expected it to be lost very quickly and maybe just maybe 1 or 2 would venture over for it, well the response was amazing and very quickly we needed a list of who was interested, but then slowly one by one they all started to drop out so we seemed to be left with 4 on the Saturday and just me on the Sunday, but then about 2 weeks before hand more people joined up.

     Got the Friday off work, and proceeded to drive round the bike and run courses putting up signs, Friday night weathers was heavy rain with high winds and then had to drive around again Saturday morning making sure the signs where still up and putting them the right way round.

     Saturday morning, Razor and Horse turn up followed by Slagiatt and Slag’s mate Tony (they were doing it on Sunday but set off from Essex at 4/5 o’clock Saturday morning to get here early to help out on the Saturday, top blokes), next BBurn Plodder, then Moving Along and then a text from Cake that he had gone straight to the leisure centre plus with Mrs SA that made 5


  • Showed them on Google Street view a couple of nasty left hand bends and then set off for the leisure centre.

    Slagiatt and SMT kept watch over the bikes, while Jordy Razor and I went off to one of the left hand turns that really could do with a marshal on. Got a call from Slagiatt to confirm that the first 3 are on the bike. Waited at the marshal point for all 5 to come through and then went to the bike feed station. Really enjoyed the banter at the feed station (as well as the chips that my mum bought out to us) and gave everyone a big shout every time they went past, when Horse had done 9 laps, me and Jordy went home to get T2 ready and then counted everyone back in. I did try and DQ Mrs SA for riding over the dismount line can’t quite remember her comments back.

    Back to the feed station so Slagiatt and SMT could go to T2, everyone looked far too happy on the run, think I’ll have to make the bike harder!

    When everyone had had finished the run, Mrs SA did sausage butties for all, very nice, I really enjoyed supporting everyone and told Mrs SA that I would support tomorrow instead and she would have to do it again instead, can’t quite remember her comments back.

  •  And so to Sunday

     Doner Kebab turned up first, followed by Slagiatt and SMT after an eventful night in the hotel (told you, you have stopped at ours), then Bobby Nobby, Colourin and Colourin’s BF, and last to arrive Marshallini.

     Pre race briefing as Saturday, then whizzed Mrs SA and Jordy up to the pool, then back home to ride back to the pool with everyone else.

     Got into the pool with DK, Slagiatt and Marshallini in the same lane, Marshallini I have to say is a genetic freak, I’m sure he has gills and fins as he seemed to be passing me every length.

     I must have miss counted because DK and me are the same speed and neither of us passed each other but I got out 2 lengths before him, through the changing rooms, Marshallini having a full change and then out onto the bike, I could see Marshallini and Colourin’s BF in the distance and DK just behind me.


  • DK soon caught and passed me, I to noticed the Sun paper and the Macclesfield boobies.

    I had completed 4 laps when Marshallini came flying past me, I did check his bike afterwards but couldn’t find the engine he must have had fitted to it.

    Colourin caught me and we rode together for a lap or 2, then all of sudden I was on the last lap and heading for T2

    Change of shoes and cap on and out on the run, strange but 4 of us set off on the run at the same, Colourin’s BF who ran very quickly, DK and Bobby Nobby, I was easily the slowest and settled into my plod. Managed a full 3 laps before I had to have a little walk break and did the last lap with DK for company, then through to the finish with a time of around 6 hours 20 mins which I am very happy with.

    Big shout to Slagiatt who kept going for a finish, it would have been very easy to not do the last lap, well done fella.

  • Sausage Butties for everyone again.

    So reflections on the weekend

    I had one the most enjoyable weekends for a long long time.

    Jordy had an absolute ball meeting so many new faces

    How much did it cost me to put on?

    I recon £10 should cover it (2 lots of sausage butties, 2 bottles of coke, tea, coffee etc) plus 2 days off work

    I was asked by someone “why don’t you charge people for this”

    Because that’s the whole idea about doing a DIY Half IM

    Would I run it again?


    What would I change?

    The course stays as it is, but measure it; better signs especially on the run, more people to help out on the Sunday, Mrs SA, Jordy and my dad did it all.

    Thanks to all who made it what it was.


  • marshallinimarshallini ✭✭✭

    I must say I really enjoyed myself and was really happy with my performance on the day, but reading everyone's race reports makes me feel even better, I sound like some kind of elite athlete, Thanks everyoneimage

    The Silent Assassin wrote (see)
    What would I change?

    The course stays as it is, but measure it; better signs especially on the run, more people to help out on the Sunday, Mrs SA, Jordy and my dad did it all.

    The course stays and that's fair enough, but when I do it again I'll be cycling 12 laps and running this modified loop (x4).

    It shouldn't affect anyone else unless they are following me, but makes the distances closer to the standard and that's what I'd like for a Sub 5 time.

    And whatever day I race I'll help on the other.

    Thanks again Team SA image



  • Hi Marshallini


    When I mean the course stays, it would be 12 laps and I like the extra bit on the run to make it full distance


  •  I've just been re-reading this thread and came across this and need to clarify;

    Slag (as seen on tv) wrote (see)

     at the very moment Marshallini was about to pass at warp factor 5.. sorry fella .. well avoided. (the DNA mix now thought to contain some dolphin and some lance armstrong).

    Unlike Lance I was not taking banned substances.  (unless Soreen is illegal)



  • Yep, we've just banned it for you.image
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