OH keeps trying to stop me

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Comments

  • Sounds to me like he's stuck in a rut - I mean what kind of person spends every evening on an internet forum !!
  • Dave The Ex- Spartan wrote (see)
    Divorce him and marry a runner


    Dave, there arnt enough good looking male runners out there . for us girls to divorce our husbands and get new'running hubbysimage

    mathschick, i had a similar thing whn i first started running. OH was already running and i think he thought i was joking whn i said i wanted to. he got the hump and said he wasnt doing it anymore .image i think he thought i was trying to take his hobby away from him or something. then i explained i didnt actually WANT to run with him, i was quite happy to go it alone

    we now take it in turns to have our 'run time slot' to fit in with daily life and childcare. like you i get up at crack of dawn now the nights are dark and go whilst miss llb and OH are asleep. today i was out at 7:30am for 20miles and back..then its his turn. i think there is always a slight thing with the male ego about not wanting wife/GF to be better/faster etc but he has accepted i run furthr than he can now and encourages me . so it can work out mathschick. just tell him you are doing your thing and he does hisimage

  • Emmy_bug wrote (see)

    Now i'm training for london he's laughing at the aches and chafing pains saying "he doesnt want me to get hurt" "this really doesnt sound like it's doing me any good"..... and i'm like you - the more negative he is - the more determined I become.

    emmy , i am the same. a year ago mr llb said he didnt think id run a HM. well, thats like a red rag to a bull with me. although i am doing this as a personal challenge ..there was that....' ok, watch this and eat ny dust' attitude from me. by March i was doing13miles at weekends, did 2 HMs and now am approaching a marathon and doing a 50 mile ultra in August......yeah, maybe i took my'watch this space' a little too far imagelol
  • thank for all the support and advice! Must say, I am looking forward to going back to work and getting the routine back, now, OH has been off for most of the time that I have and I am started to feel cooped up and trapped now!

    popsider wrote (see)
    Sounds to me like he's stuck in a rut - I mean what kind of person spends every evening on an internet forum !!

    lol!

  • mathschick, they DO come around to the idea...honest. mr llb did have to eat humble pie when i beat his HM time.....they dont mean to be oppressive, and im sure he is just worried about you over the long term, injuries  etcimage it'll all come good.

  • loulabell wrote (see)
    Emmy_bug wrote (see)
    Now i'm training for london he's laughing at the aches and chafing pains saying "he doesnt want me to get hurt" "this really doesnt sound like it's doing me any good"..... and i'm like you - the more negative he is - the more determined I become.
    emmy , i am the same. a year ago mr llb said he didnt think id run a HM. well, thats like a red rag to a bull with me. although i am doing this as a personal challenge ..there was that....' ok, watch this and eat ny dust' attitude from me. by March i was doing13miles at weekends, did 2 HMs and now am approaching a marathon and doing a 50 mile ultra in August......yeah, maybe i took my'watch this space' a little too far imagelol

    Thanks for the words of reassurance Loulabell. I'm the exact same. Running London has been a dream of mine for years now and it's "the" race that I want to do and by heck will I run it! image

  • "there arnt enough good looking male runners out there . for us girls to divorce our husbands and get new'running hubbys"

    Oh I dunno laydeez, seek and ye shall find and all that ...<wiggles bum, preens>
  • loulabell wrote (see)

     I dunno, I managed to find a new woman..... (and her guide dog is a great help when out running image
    Dave The Ex- Spartan wrote (see)
    Divorce him and marry a runner


    Dave, there arnt enough good looking male runners out there . for us girls to divorce our husbands and get new'running hubbysimage

  • well we have had a chat today about what being supportive means! hopefully things will get a bit better....
  • I hope things get better Mathschick image
  • You said he used to play football, but now does nothing?I'd guess he feels even if he wanted to get back into it, he might find it difficult to?

    Either way, I'd say it sounds like its 50/50 between jealously of losing time with you, and jealousy of you doing something and him feeling like he can't.

    I hope things work out for you, and you doesn't mean you have less time out running. The one advantage of long distance relationships is that my time out of work is mine alone, so I can't really relate, much, although the OH has only ever been to one of my races, which I did appreciate. However in general I don't see running as an activity we (have to) share.

  • My OH has always been at logger heads with me Mathschick since the moment i announced i was going to the gym, and in the past few years she has never watched me do one race, which i have found sad, but i think some of the races, it has been justified why she hasnt come, but there has to be give and take. I do odd hours with my shifts, so i am not out every evening with it, and often when i run, she is at work anyway.

    If she has stopped me at anytime, i think it is because i so easily lose weight, and when i am in intense training mode, i can look like quite thin, even though my BMI is normal, and my slimness, is actually muscle. Its the worse feeling, having to justify why your going out, why your doing it etc, and i have had more than one confrontation. Unless you are a runner, then you will never understand the mentality really but i sympathise.

    I normally tell my OH my running schedule a week in advance anyway. I never run in the evening, since i am a morning jogger. It has taken me two years though before she has understood my mentality, and although she wont be attending Sussex, Three Forts she might. In some ways, i like to be on my own when i do a race. I need to shut everything out, but just every once in a while, i think, actually, it would be nice you there.

    Well, look forward to seeing you and your Football OH at Sussex

  • A question to no one in particular on here.

    When you don't go out running or to the gym to appease your OH. What do you do? Sit and watch telly or play on the PC, or something else that could be done at any time of the day?


    The only one thats happy with this arrangement is your OH as he/she can see what your doing.

  • ghostrider - wish I lost weight easily!! Things seem to have settled down anyway.

    Nicko - as the vast majority of my running is done early morning, if I don't go running then I am still asleep. Mostly OH is totally unaware that I have got up and gone out! He sleeps right through me slipping out.

    He will be at sussex as we are all going down together, and unless I go off with the car he will have to come! I think there might be a kiddy fun run which my youngest might want to do which will give them something to do while they are waiting for me...

  • Haven't you dumped him yet ?

    (Beachy Head is in Sussex isn't it ?)

  • Dave The Ex- Spartan wrote (see)

    Haven't you dumped him yet ?

    (Beachy Head is in Sussex isn't it ?)
    lol
  • Oh Maths..just read the whole thread. Really REALLY hope it gets better and he sees how hard you are working and is really proud of you at the end of the Sussex half! Suddenly realised how bloody lucky I am to have a runner gf! Hope your injury niggles sod off and you have an awesome run.

    Thinking positive running/relationship thoughts for you xx

  • Maybe you should try pointing out that you spend so much time running, you don't have time to have an affair?
  • Kryten wrote (see)
    Maybe you should try pointing out that you spend so much time running, you don't have time to have an affair?
    But having seen the items on only requiring 3 minutes very hard excercise a couple of times a week, Perhaps she is using the excuse of a 4 hour run for something else ???? image
  • it is funny, when I did my teacher training a few years ago he was worried that I might run off with some other student teacher - he has never voiced any concerns about me running off with a runner or someone from the gym!

    oh, I think my genes would be the wrong ones for the 3 minutes exercise thing to work! Even doing all the running I do and I am not super fit!

  • Your husband really doesn't come across well in this thread.  He sounds like a jealous, insecure child.
  • Moraghan wrote (see)
    Your husband really doesn't come across well in this thread.  He sounds like a jealous, insecure child.
    yeah, sometimes that is how he acts!!! He does have some good points too.....
  • Ultra Ironwolf - that's a nice story. My OH isn't actually that controlling, just annoying at times. Although I kind of think I would find most people annoying after living with them for 12 years.

    Youngest son (aged 7) wants to do a family fun run together, but OH won't, which is quite sad that he wouldn't run/walk it with the kids.

  • mathschick wrote (see)

    oh, I think my genes would be the wrong ones for the 3 minutes exercise thing to work! Even doing all the running I do and I am not super fit!

    Yeah..... We know why you come back from 3 hours training sessions all hot and sweaty  !    image
  • Before or after the run give him oral pleasure and I can guarantee he will encourage you to run more.

  • Not hiring you as a coach
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