Ironman Lanzarote 2013 (3rd weekend in May?)



  • Of course it is SA .... I am all class you know  image

  • image Yes we know you are


  • Funkin......managed to read all of your race report now............what an amazing last 5k.....brilliant and so well written as always......and i love the piccies that go with it image


  • Great reading, Funkin - and great racing - awesome!

  • Fantastic report Funkin, and brilliant photos.  To have felt you could have kept on riding after 112 miles in Lanza is quite something. Very well done, what an inspiration!

  • Really enjoyed reading that Funkin, like all the stats, sub 11 hr, amazing image

  • Brilliant read Funkin, epic race report, well done


  • Great read Funkin!!

    Has everyone filled in the on-line feed back form stating how much we all enjoyed the Red Bull??  image

  • ExtravaLanza 2013 – Normal Limits do not Apply

    Back in 2007 I spectated the Burger Boys at Lanza ‘Vote Barlos’!!   I said  I would never do it.

    It was a little strange driving myself up to Birmingham on my own for the flight, I was up nice and early to avoid any traffic and managed to check in the bike & case both of which were overweight .. !! Soon found the Pingus and Foggy so my collie like instinct was satisfied at having someone to herd in the right direction.

    Flight passed with nothing to report apart from a few feral children who were lucky to escape with just one of my looks, we landed at Arecife which was a little overcast and not quite as balmy as expected.

    Fast forwards a few days of beer and relaxing and general faffage and it was racking time already, many a time I forgot the race was on a Saturday!  Me and the Mousey roommate were superbly organised and checked and double checked an array of items, must haves and nice to haves before walking the short trip to Transition and racking which passed again quite smoothly!  Quick bite to eat at the restaurant of choice before going back for a chill and remarkably for me a sleep!  Sleeping the night before an IM is unheard of for me and it was nice to feel relaxed for once and to grab a couple of hours before the P20 and forcing contact lenses in.

    The Swim

    My IM swims have not usually gone to plan and I tend to suffer with breathing/panic issues although I appear to be a reasonable swimmer on paper!  We had planned to start towards the back and I had planned to keep as far right (a left handed course) as I could to avoid any potential problems.  It took several minutes to cross the line once the gun went and we were off ... that water was a tad chilly and I could see why some were pulled with hypothermia.  Thoughts of Sue telling me of stingrays the day before and sightings of whales in the bay a few days previous were quickly banished, not something you need to think about when dressed like a seal  J

    The swim was very busy for the most part but I did manage to find clear water just off the coast of Northern Africa which is where I found myself for the most part. On several occasions I found my breathing just starting to increase and for once was able to recognise and keep it in check, I imagined just blowing in to a big blue paper bag and got it under control again .. the water was so clear it really was lovely! Got to the last buoy before the beach exit and it got quite crowded again and this is the one time where I had to stop and get my breathing back again, the fact that this is where I encountered most people and interruptions has to be key .. Swim time of 1.24 which is not what I hoped for time wise but it was the best swim I have had in relation to anxiety that I am pleased and I have something to work on to get up to the 1.10 that I know I am capable of.  

  • The Bike

    The course is notorious. We had driven to La Santa for registration on the Wednesday and it didn’t look too bad by car!  To get out of the swim in the pouring rain was not on the plan but at least we had trained for the UKesque weather that was being thrown at us, I was cursing Bassy for convincing me to buy a nice pair of slick tyres for race day!

    I think as Foggy aptly said, if you want to know what the course is like then you need to do the race, for those that know me I am not the bravest of cyclists and being thrown around by the wind for near on 9 hours was most certainly a test of my comfort zone!!  We headed off out towards Yaiza and El Golfo still in the rain and there was a fairly sharp right hand turn which seemed like turning into a brick wall. This was in the first hour, I was cycling up a very slight upflat at about 10mph and the negative thoughts were there already, I cant do this for 112 miles.  This passed as most thoughts do during the day and IM is a mental game but I hadn’t expected to be playing it quite so early on in the day.  My thoughts were quickly taken away more than likely by a huge gust of wind which deposited me somewhere near El Golfo and a spectacular coast line which was to be the case for most of the day, I didn’t find the lava fields and the internal views that inspiring but the views  out along the coast were spectacular. There are not that many pure evil hills, they are all long long drags and many times I was just telling myself to ‘let the course come to you’

    ‘Pop up Schmunks’ appeared at some point on a hill .. telling me I was nearly at the top, I was, I was also at the bottom of another one J   After reading Funkins report it would appear this was the case for about 14 miles, you see I really have no idea of what was round the corner!  I prefer not knowing too much as ignorance is indeed bliss!  Famara/Teguise/Mirador ... my god!  Climb after climb after climb ..  ‘just let the climb come to you’  I think Mouse and I had the same thoughts when we reached the restaurant at the top called ‘Mirador View’ or something and thinking we were at the top only to turn the corner and watch the road disappearing up and up and up!!  I was playing cat and mouse with a few people on the climbs and I think I actually saw a bloke that was at Regensberg as his name was ‘Uwe’ and I thought ‘hello Uwe’ was hilarious at that stage, I will say at this point I was grinning like a Cheshire Cat for the most part of the bike course most of it was through delirium I think, previous conversations of peeing on the bike were irrelevant as I nearly wet myself on several occasions during the day due to sheer terror!  I have never had so many HR spikes in one day !! My sense of humour left me at one stage when I had big pain in my left foot .. not sure what it was but after wiggling toes for a good few miles putting pressure through them on one particular hill was too much and I actually decided that I neeed to walk, this I think was in Haria and allowed Mousey to pass me, I am a bit pissed off with walking but I think at that stage it was wise. (I do remember a conversation with Rosey, he mentioned a parrot at the side of the road I thought, it turned out to be a Toucan but I couldn’t remember if it was the beginning or the end of hell, no matter, it turned out to be both!) Back on at the top of the hill and continued with the toe wiggling which helped a little. 

    Something about an IM bike course that renders any mental arithmetic as rocket science and although this is a very generous cut off in terms of bike and swim there were times when I thought that a 10 hour bike was likely and was trying to work o

  • The Run

    Into T2 for a ‘quick’ change and out for a cool down run.  Having been injured for the majority of the year with a suspected retro calcaneal bursitis I have done limited running and have built up from nothing in January.  Walk/Run is my preferred option for IM and has served me well in recent years.  Mouse was not far behind me and soon overtook me on the way out to the Airport, I wont dwell on the run, its nothing you haven’t heard before !!    A few highlights, of course the wonderful pirate supporters, seeing pirates on the run course, my friend Sue who popped up everywhere to run/walk with me.  Seeing Barlos in the distance and hearing ‘Alan Alan Alan’ over the top of an Airbus 321 taking off made me laugh!!   I expected the run to be slow, my foot behaved itself, I did not expect to be floored by a few blisters!!  I am sure the sandy course was a contributing factor and they are painful little buggers!!  Having been a bit of a muppet with my Garmin and pressed stop/start rather than lap I wasn’t too sure where I was at but I needn’t have worried as it died after about 14 hours anyway!!   I can usually pace myself to within a cats whisker of a cut off so not overly concerned and it gives everyone else something to worry about!  I think I perhaps could have pushed more on the run but I didnt want to risk more injury so I was a bit conservative.  The finish line came ... I had decided on a flag finish but didn’t let anyone know in time!!  It wouldn’t have mattered as the photographer didn’t snap until I was well over the line anyway!  Time 16.45.  I had completed the race I said I would never do.


    ... and to everyone else who knows me

    I like this bit, the bit where I get to thank all my pirate chums, those who turn out in wind and rain and sun and support from sun up to beyond sun down, those who come out and train with me and make those winter rides that little more buoyant.  To Barlos for being a top training pal even when he cant be arsed J  To the fabulous Mousicles for being a top huffing roomie, to Holly and Mrs F and Schmunks and Happychap for some top supporting with all the black and yeller crew, to the lovely twitter ladies for the early bird training encouragement, for your friendship, concern and advice. 

    Its easy to dismiss the PSOF as a virtual and one dimensional group but within that pockets of gold develop in to real and lasting friendships that are priceless ....its nice, I might keep it  J


  • Funkin / Meldy

    Cracking reads. Congrats to you both. 

  • image....

    another great report Meldy.......image...........don't know how you managed to keep on the bike on teh downhills image


  • ^^ nice one Melds image

  • Enjoyed reading all these reports, as much as cheering you all on that day!

    I now have to admit to wanting to do this myself since seeing it live image

    Have a feeling I am going to need a lot of help, advice, encouragement and shouting at tho ...

  • Well done Funkin & Meldy! Good, thorough reports!

    Is it just me, or is there anyone else out there starting to think there might be a slight chance of coaxing a last IM out of old, knackered knees?!  These reports don't help dispel those thoughts! image

  • Great reports here people. Loved supporting you all, and love reading these reports.

    Mine is simple. I came, I supported, I drank, I shouted, I drank, I ate, I cheered, I drank, I danced, l went home.

    i was massively enthused by everyone and got my usual feeling that I wanted to be doing rather than supporting. We'll see.


  • Oh yes I forgot to include that following sleep I was last pirate standing in the bar afters  image

  • Leaning on your broomstick, no doubt!!

  • You know those knackered knees .... do you need a hand with amputation?  I have a rusty saw knocking about somewhere   image

  • debbodebbo ✭✭✭

    Fab report Melds. you're a star image

  • M..o.useM..o.use ✭✭✭

    I can't decide which is the best report, Funkin or Meldy. I think it's a tie. Fanastic reports both of you. Both reminding me of what an amazing time I had. It was a real pleasure racing with you. Thank you. 

  • debbo wrote (see)

    Fab report Melds. you're a star image


    no I'm a star..........she's something else image

  • It really really was an awesome race ... I dont think i did myself justice but I think I let myself off lightly with goal 'to finish'
    that sits ok at the moment as I shall set myself a tougher one at Nice .. that should keep Mr Rose quiet for a while !

  • I'm immensely proud of Melds being the last pirate standing. I think it was 1:30am.

    Not quite its good as my 4am finish the following night or the 3am the next...but she's getting better. image

  • Obviously I have learnt from the master  

    Its amazing what sleep can do  image

    me and Mouse sat up chatting til 3am I think, slept til 6am when she had peatnut butter on toast, slept again til about 9am, had a huuuuge fatboy breakfast and then I slept again until about 1.30pm and really had to struggle to get out of bed, at that point I think i could have slept forever and missed the party!!

  • M..o.useM..o.use ✭✭✭

    Don't do yourself down with the 'to finish' goal, Melds. I always have three goals and I knew within 2 hrs of that bike course that the first two goals were way out. I went to the 'to finish goal' too. That bike course really was something else. I am immensely proud of us all. Proud of Funkin's sub 11, proud of Raf for doing that for his first but I'm most proud of Pingu, you and I*. Women don't do Lanza. Funkin said there were only 131 female finishes. 131!!!! How amazing is that? Sod the time goal, we did well to make it round at all. 

    *and Min, who did it in a previous year. 

  • M..o.useM..o.use ✭✭✭

    I still have a lot to learn on the partying front though. 

  • I know exactly what you mean Mousey .. but I do think I let myself off the hook a bit too early on the run, that said I feel like I can pick it up this week and get back in to some easy sessions so thats not bad either
    Will get a bit more scientific this year I think and go for a time at Nice

  • Top report Melds image i can't believe only 131 women have completed Lanza!!!! Wow. You're part of a very select group now ladies, how fab!!

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