How to tell your friends and family that you are going to run a 100 miler!

It can certainly be a problem. 

How did/will you go about it?



  • Just tell them the following..."I am just going outside and may be some time." image

  • RicFRicF ✭✭✭
    Easy you say 'Hey guys, remember how you keep saying I have no common sense, well I'm going to prove to you once and for all, that you're right!'
  • I've booked time off work for my 1st in November but haven't told anyone yet - so any tips would be good. It's my long suffering girlfriend that will bear the brunt!
  • It is not easy, and much depends upon the attitude of the girlfriend/family member. 

    The most effective play that I have found, is to explain to them (sometimes using examples) that running injuries, even at this level, are far less serious than those routinely sustained in rugby or football, and heal more quickly. 

    My mum and dad are actually very understanding, and suport my ultra running ambitions.  The people who raise the strongest objections are actually friends of my own age, often including the people I used to get into trouble with!

  • I wouldn't be concerned about injuries - its the fact that I'm out almost every night of the week training while my family are left at home!
  • I haven't signed up for a 100er yet, but I have found the best strategy for multi-days, ultras etc, is drip-drip-drip.  So I might say 'I'm getting used to running maras, perhaps I might try a 50k', 'I recovered quicker than I expected from the 50k, maybe I'll try a 50-miler', 'a multi-day event would be good training for my 50 miler' and so forth. 

    I notice I am the first woman to post here, so perhaps I am giving some key female strategies away, but the above also works for renovations, holidays, clothes, etc.image 

  • The above should, of course, be followed by 'I've found XYZ event, which would be perfect for me' and any objections should be met with 'but I TOLD you I was thinking about this, WEREN'T YOU  LISTENING?'

  • I'm doing the sdw 100. My wife doesn't really care either way as long as I don't talk about it too often and as long as I don't spend too much money on equipment. However, my mum and dad think its "stupid" and refuse to talk about it.
  • I have struggled to get my beloved to support / share my relatively new found interest in running (obsession is much more likely to be the word she would use), so decided on a kill or cure attempt and entered the TR24 as a solo runner and appointed aforementioned wife as crew chief.  Which will cover a couple of firsts; MRS S's first time camping and first time watching me run anything more than 10k. I am hopeful that the atmosphere will do the job and pave the way to a more tolerant attitude toward my past time of choice ..... i'll let you know how I get on!

    I think there was a piece on another thread that suggested friends and family are v.impressed with you running the odd marathon start talking ultras and you simply get put in the total head case category.


  • Rosemary- I do that all the time! It works really well doesn't it?! image
  • ive not done a 100miler (yet) but like some others, im used to negative responses preceding the ultras I have done so i don't go into specifics, if at all. i just say 'ive got a race that day'.


  • So far it seems that the girls are better at this than the boys!

  • Pick exactly the right moment to tell partner - need to tread very carefully. Its not the event itself that is the problem, its the training runs that causes the problems.

    Definitely don't talk about too much - if at all. Also useful if you pick a race with an obscure name (to outsiders) like UTMB, WS, WHW etc. Don't include the distance - say the distance depends on the route chosen or whatever!

  • Hi Morticia, yes, it definitely doesimage.

    Alastair, I think in general people don't grasp why you might want to run a marathon or longer for fun or the sense of achievement.  As you say, the first marathon you run, people are really interested, but if you do them regularly, you get filed in a place saying 'does not compute', particularly if you are not running for charity.  I almost feel compelled to fund raise for NDW50, because people think they should give me money to run that distance!

    I am lucky that my husband has now re-discovered his love of marathon running. He has felt for the last few years that he did not have the time to train, but he is following Furman 3-days scheduled (we go to the gym before work two days a week) and flourishing on it.  I am coaxing  him into doing more events and he has six marathons lined up this year!

  • It,s not the event , it,s the time taken for the training runs that cause the problems for me. There is no avoiding the hours you need to spend on the trail training. Luckily my other half run,s (but not ultras). As for the rest of my fiends and work mates many of them are runners. Its surprising how many over 50,s are into serious exercise. There is an attitude out there of thats a long way do you think I could do it? 

  • Training runs - I try to do my week day runs whilst the family are asleep to minimise impact. Weekend long runs I am hopeful I convince my wife and daughter to tag along on their bikes for at least part of the run. Not sure how I will feel about the company as I do relish the solitude of the LSR. Need to get her indoors a new shove iron first, a job for today perhaps.
  • I find that if I am irritating enough at home my family are happy for me to go out training for hours image Also! Explaining a 100 mile event while they are watching the football or a film or whatever is a good way to illicit a 'er... yeah whatever you like' response. And then you follow it up with the rosemary thing. Its easy for us women imageimage
  • 'im indoors is not worried by my training and time away - it gives him quality time with the cat image.

  • I haven't done a 100 miler but can give tips on entering a 50 miler.  The most important thing is that the training is planned around your usual routine of the chores/commitments you have.  I still walk the dog for every session i am supposed to even if that is at the end of a 30 mile training run.  I still cook the meals when it is my turn, but on occasions make more & freeze it so you can have a quicker meal another time you are supposed to cook.  I have a condition imposed that I am not allowed to 'moan' about the training, after all if you are going to be negative about it why are you doing it.  Get up early at weekends to do training & as you build up you will still have all the energy to do all the stuff you would normally do on a Sat/Sun.  I am never back later than 11.30am on a weekend run so still have most the day with OH.  As for telling others i usually just play it down & say i will be doing a big run on that day & if they ask more i will say, if they ask why i just say why not & nothing else.  Most people are convinced when they see that i look healthy & happy & injury free.   

  • Personally I'm at the stage where I don't care what the present Mrs Rocker thinks or says.... hence it's not a problem LOL. My mother panics when I tell her i'm doing a half marathon, so introducing her to the concept of ultras this year has been interesting - but to be fair I tend not to listen to her anyway 'cos she's barmy image

  • Just tell the wife to grab my kit she's crewing againimage

  • I found when I mentioned to people that I was entered for a 100 mile race I might of well said it in Welsh as no one understood what I was talking about.

    For most people who do not run, a marathon is a silly question i.e I live in Bristol when I say to people running a marathon is like setting out now and running to Weston Super Mare they look at me as I am mad. Times that but by nearly four marathons and they can't comprehend what I just said, hence talking Welsh!!

    Anyhow I ran the TP100 and loved every minute of it even the hypothermia at the end !!

  • I've had people that flatly refused to believe me when I say I've run 100 miles in a day.

    Are you doing TP again next year Louismaxy? I'm tempted again. Might bump into you again! 

  • This is a tricky one for me, as it is not the concept of running a 100 miles that troubles my family. But they know how much training is going to be required and that is more of an issue! I am starting to try and adjust my training time so that I will run to work and run home etc as a way of increasing the number of miles that I run a week, without it impacting on family life.

    As for other people, I like discussing Ultras with like minded people online or at my running club. For non runners I liken Ultras to people that like to ramble and walk for long distances, accept that we prefer to jog image

  • It has been quite good fun seeing the reactions of fellow clubmates - as a predominantly road running club, with an emphasis on 10k to Marathon, it's quite good fun to describe a 40 mile run around Sherwood Forest for example, let alone 57 miles around the Peak District!

  • I am in this difficult situation now - i had my eyes on the TP100 for next year.  Runnng had been a contentious subject for just over a year now with my OH, before that it wasn't an issue for some reason.  I was running before I met him, I guess maybe i began to train a little harder and push myself a little more. 

    I've mentioned the TP100 a few times and the atmosphere suddenly goes very cold - he can't resent the training hours, as I fit them in around my daily commute (he works late anyway and he always come home to a clean house and dinner on the table). 

    He says his concern is that i never know when to stop - he wants to know when will i have enough?  Will I be able to stop at 100 miles or will i want to go further?  And I cant promise that I won't. 

    His lack of support has already made me feel obliged to cancel my Ironman effort for this year, and now the half ironman too.  Doing this without his support is miserable.

    He runs himself, although "only" 2-3 marathons a   year, and he's a better runner than me too - a sub 3 marathon is easy for him.  However i cant persuade him to try ultras, i think he sees them as dangerous and inviting injury - despite the fact ive actually been injury free for well over a year (*touches all wood available*). 

    I've just returned from a multi-day (2 days, 64 miles) and things were a little bit rocky on my return, i won first lady but he really wasn't interested. 

    I guess maybe he has a point, maybe i should set myself a limit? Enjoying this thread though, nice to hear from others in the same boat.

  • Katie - that's a sad and difficult position to be in, and one appreciate and understand...

    All I can say is - it's a lot easier to achieve your targets and dreams if you have support, someone who understands, who wants to stand behind you and push, or in front of you and pull...

    Only you know whether other parts of life make up for this - it sounds like running is a very large part of you, who you are, and who you want to be... if that's the case then you should feel like that part of you is as important as the rest of you.


    Oh, and congrats on your win yesterday!!!!

  • See you there hillheader want to break 24 hours the weather caught me out this year and will defo figure in trial shoes !
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