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No idea if this has been posted before, but I found it funny. Although after reading this I do wonder if Cake married me just for my nutrition knowledge...
Dating a triathlete
I am an outdoors type of person
Really means: I train in any type of weather. If it's raining, snowing, 90 degrees w/100 percent humidity, or winds gusting at 30 mph. I don't want to hear any complaints because I will still train in it and you're just a big wuss for complaining about it.
I enjoy riding my bike
Really means: with or w/o aero bars, alone or in a peleton, I don't care. If you can't do a spur of the moment 30 miler then you're not my type. I will let you draft, but if you can't hang and I drop you - I will see you later. I am a capable mechanic, but don't expect me to change your flats or tune your bike. You need to learn that on your own.
I enjoy jogging
Really means: Let's run hills until we puke. I have just as many shoes as you only mine are better because they are functional and all look the same.
I enjoy quiet walks on the beach
Really means: Walks on the beach warming up into an 8 mile run and then plunging myself in the ocean for a 2 miler. If you get in my way you're going to find out what mass start is and let me assure you that you don't want to find out.
I enjoy sharing quiet moments together
Really means: It's taper time. Just back off because I am strategizing and in a pissy mood because I am worried about my "A" race and can't workout.