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Outlaw 2012 race reports
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Post-Race
As I got there I instantly asked for a medical team and explained that my day was over, that I was falling asleep, that I was very dizzy, very cold, and feeling very sick. The very attractive paramedic lady put me on the ground and wrapped me in a foil blanket, but as attractive as she was I really disliked her when she tried forcing energy gels down me. Ten minutes later and I was being walked over to the ambulance. Now, I have lived in the south for nearly 2 years, but showed my true Northern personality traits as I was getting into the ambulance “Oi Dad… two pound coin down there!” – There was no coin. We were in the ambulance for a few minutes before setting off, and it was now that I started vomiting. A real horrible watery black vomit and it hurt a lot. We drove backwards along the run course meaning competitors had to run around the ambulance – sorry guys. One of these competitors was Slag who I tried to wave to in my state of pity whilst lying on a stretcher. I woke from my lesser state of consciousness when the paramedic described me as a mid-thirties male over the radio – “Oi, take ten years of that, I know I don’t look great but I’m 24!
I got into the medical tent and could not stop shivering. I was still vomiting every few minutes which was causing me a great deal of pain, and after a short period of time a needle was put in my arm and a saline drip attached. The next 2 hours was spent drifting in and out of consciousness while my poor family sat at the end of the bed. After about 2 hours and the drip had finished going into my system I was told to stand up slowly and they would soon sign me out. Sit up… feeling ok, stand up… not so great. I sat back down and vomited again, not a great sign. Back to lying down whilst wrapped in another foil blanket.
An hour later and I was feeling much better, I hadn’t been sick for a while, and was starting to get very hungry. I went into the food tent and managed to consume a lasagne. I then made the decision to stay at HPP for the night rather than go to my dad’s. I realised that if I stayed I could hopefully make the best of a bad situation and try to enjoy myself. A big hug from Seren and Lee the Pea and I instantly felt a million times better. I then spent the rest of the evening down by the finish giving support to all of the final finishers. I managed to consume a beer but that came back up pretty shortly afterwards, so spent the rest of the evening drinking water. It was such a great atmosphere and I was very happy that I stayed, watching and cheering every competitor for the last 4 hours. Afterwards I headed back to the campsite and went for a shower, and unfortunately it was not long before my entire lasagne as well as everything else I had consumed that day came back up. This was another of those moments when I really questioned my love for this sport, sat in a campsite shower, trying to kick the contents of my stomach down the drain and feeling sorry for myself.
I really enjoyed the pirate awards party the day afterwards. I managed to have a beer but then realised soon after I did not feel so great. I bought a meal but as soon as it arrived I realised there was no way it was going down. I ended up running to the toilet to be sick a few times but fortunately this was only precautionary and never led to anything. One of the best moments of the day was when a pirate friend’s son said he had been inspired to do an Ironman one day, despite having no current athletic ability or interest. So called pirate has said since that this was because of the great support and atmosphere within the pirates. No doubt this is true, but I think he underestimates the power of his son seeing his dad achieve something that 99.99% of people wou
A lot of people said how well I was taking it, what had happened and all of the banter I was getting because of it. How could I not smile, I still had a great weekend even if things did not go my way. I have realised that if I put a good race together I could actually get a rather good time. It was an amazing experience racing with so many pirates and I cannot wait for the next time. It was only about 20 minutes after leaving the medical tent that I had changed from thinking never again to what was next. I do not know if I will race Ironman next year, I am very aware that it is the Olympic Distance world champs in London and it would be great to think I could maybe qualify with a lot of hard work. If this is not the case, then I definitely have a score to settle with the Outlaw. I am only 24 years old, and perhaps too young and immature to race Ironman, but I will definitely be back!
Thank You’s
There really are too many to mention. I was reliant on a lot of people at the start of the weekend to bring me equipment and to look after it when I had no tent to keep it in. Thank you to all those people. A big thank you to Cake, Lee the Pee and Seren for their hugging ability… it really is impossible to stay sad after a hug from any of these guys! Thank you to Dan who has always said just how fast I could be if I actually worked hard for once, I finally believe you now mate. I may have lost a bottle of whisky but you deserve it for such a great race! Finally a massive thank you to everyone who checked that I was ok on the day. I really wasn’t, I put myself in a place that I have never been before and a place that I never want to go to. For anybody else who was in the same situation but without the Pirate support it could have been much worse, but with so many people checking on me it was a lot better. Thank you guys.
Right I think I'm done with writing mine, word count is 3188!! I need to proof read it then I'll post it!
I also need to read the reports that have gone before! A couple of wet days would be helpful in this respect!
But as it's bed time, Night all!!
Nice work, and am now wondering what the f*ck I have let myself in for
It took me 4 years to get Meldy down to 1 pint the night before !
Great report truly mate!
A well written and absorbing report GB. You probably learned more in that race than you would in ten others. I was immediately behind you as you staggered into the feed station to tell them you didn't feel so good, and it wasn't a moment too soon.
The ribbing you have taken has been good natured but relentless. It shows the mark of you in the way you have responded and kept your humour.
If you're going down it might as well be in flames and memorable. Yours was both.
Fantastic report GB! Like all good reads had me laughing and crying intermittently!!
Your build up wasn't ideal with your ankle going and pre race nutrition very suspect! Oh, the folly of youth! I'm sure you'd have 'hit' on the buxom masseuse if you'd been given the opportunity!
Even with a drip coming out of your arm!
AS VT'd says, you will have learnt a lot. Take that knowledge onto your next one! I'll enjoy watching you race it! Being at the pointy end, yours was a race, mine was more of an 'event'!!
An Oly distance will be brilliant for you!
Good report GB. I remember you passing me on the bike and meeting you briefly in the food tent. You had, it seemed, ecovered a bit by then, but obviously not totally.
I thought I had a bad day but your report puts it in perspective!!I It also shows how good you can be on the right day with the right, injury free training.
Great honest report there GB. Cheers for sharing it with us all.
Hahahahahahaha!!! If he ever puts his cycling shoes up for sale on the PSOF website, DON'T BUY THEM!!!!
What, they smell of digestive biscuits?
Hehehehe. I remember when we used to go visit my Grandma in the nursing home, and the entrance hall always smelled of digestive biscuits. Made me sad
I'd rather go to Digitas
I've worn GB's bike shoes.
Brilliant report Golden Boots, lovely account of the day. Have you thought you could earn good money for the report on some of these *specialist* websites
Clearly you have a lot of talent, im sure next time youll storm round.
Great report GB - talent tempered with the "folly (and stamina) of youth"
On the day you get it all right with the right build up you will be spectacular
and I look forward to hearing about it even if I don't get to see it
EEK!
Podds!!!! I can't believe I missed you in the pub on the Monday. I saw you chatting to someone while I was chatting to someone else, and I planned to come over and says congrats and hear how you were, but then you'd gone
So i was sorry i didn't get to have a proper chat and say WELL DONE! 
So pleased for you. Loved cheering you in down the finishing chute. Where is your report though?! Need to get writing!!! 
xxx
great reports still coming in...........
GB...........if i hadn't overindulged i would have spotted you earlier and sent you packing...............
it shows what a cracking time you can get in the future when training and racing go to plan.......................
Hold on....helix wetsuit, blue achilles tape, swim finish in 1:19. I think " Achilles-boy" may just have been me. Glad to have been of assistance.
GB That last sentence has got to be a joke right!
Great reports everyone. Loving reading them
That's because he's available for just a tenner, ladies. Granted he won't finish thejob and he'll p*ss himself, but you get what you pay for.
Top report GB. You can certainly take a ribbing, and with the lessons you've learnt, you'll smash it next year
Specialist in "wet work" required??
Has all the makings of a slightly dodgy topshelf film, we just need to find the paramedic and masseuse.
We could call it golden jugs