Outlaw 2012 race reports



  • Pingu............you were lucky you were not at IMW forgetting your chip..............kiln opark was a hell of a lot longer to run b ack to.......ask Mr Zimage


    spongecake and Capt Jack............what a wonderful way to make a friendshipimageimage

  • This years Outlaw journey began for me in 2010 when I finished the race after damaging my leg exiting the swim and struggling around the rest of the course. Although I'd finished in 14:40 ish I felt the race had beaten me and although I only intended to do one IM distance race the seed had planted that I should return to run the race proper. So I took a year gap and broke the news to my long suffering wife and kids that I wanted to enter in 2012. They reluctantly agreed and training began in December. All was going well until the end of April when my achilles started to play up and I ended up not running for 6-7 weeks. Managed to get my run up to 10 miles before the taper began but I knew it was going to be touch and go if I could make the run distance. So here is what happened..............

  • 50 Shades of Vomit by FF

    Started at the front of pen three for the swim and settled in nicely to my stroke wanted a 1.15 even though i had gone quicker in training, managed to swim about 80 yards passed the marker image. Choppy on the way back but felt strong.

    Swim 1.18 Grade C

    T1 - 6.12 again happy with the way this went. Grade C+

    Managed to drop and my sun gigs on way to bike and the lense popped out but hey, first 40 miles of bike were fine and felt good, then my stomach started gurgling and i knew i felt sick, on top of this the fact that i had only used my newish bike for a total of one hour having only got it a week before meant it was not set up right.

    My back hurt, the lack of aero bars cost me and I started to lose the mental battle with myself, stopped three times to throw up and soon realised that anything that went in would re-appear soon. Great to see the pirate feed station and gave myself a little mental slap and re-focused. Had the pleasure of watching Saffers give me a cornering masterclass on her tri bars before getting a second wind and heading home (in the shit weather) to be welcomed by Petal and FB into T2

    Bike 6.35 Grade C

    T2 - 4.28 - and this included throwing up again, Grade B

    Run - Managed to stick to my strategy well, run between the feed stations and walk the 100m in and out of them. Problem was i couln't keep anything in me, i knew i was burning energy i could not replace and finally at mile 21 the petrol light came on and i suffered those last five miles. In 26 miles i threw up 16 times. That wind at the end almost finished me and at least i ran the final strecth passed the crowd and down the chute.

    Run 5.07 Grade E

    Overall 13.11.17 Grade D -

    I have never been sick before in a race and can only conclude the duck shit, dead fish filled pond we swam in did not agree with me.

    A few thank you's, I don't mean to forget anyone but i have to thank a few in particular. The feedstation team you were ace, Aitch, your smile helped on every lap, Hairier Half, i loved your abuse it strangley motivated me more!,The SA family you lot are one in a million, BtS love the tablet. But the biggest thanks goes to the Pirate's as a whole.....three weeks ago i didn't even know if i could race after my bikes were nicked but the offers to lend me bikes were amazing, some people have never even met me and offered. The fact we can win the ladies comp and place highly in other AG and still have people coming in near 17 hours and no-one is treated any differently (except Gladys) is what makes this a special group. Proud to know you all and proud to wear the black and yella'

    Role on 2013

  • pain is temporary wrote (see)

    How do you copy and post so that it is actually readable???


    kittenkat wrote (see)

    And also I saw a post by a rookie (who I met and liked) saying that the half next year was available for those not up to the distance (or similar). I'm sure he wasn't thinking about the other interpretation of that.

    Which is a reflection of how this forum posts generically as though greater distance, at any speed or lack of it is the ultimate prize.

    Which it can be, don't get me wrong. But I've been trying to say that shorter faster is harder to PB in... etc.. and hurts more! Ok, well maybe not, but a different kind of hurt.

    image it was me....

    and what i should have said or at least had meant to, is that the option of a half will allow greater particpation rates and options for people to get involved and feel the comradarie who otherwise might not OR do what I had the priviledge of doing this year and become a part of a relay team whatever the distance, it was an awesome experience.

    what it should have not have indicated as KK quite rightly points out is that not being up for it is a lessor thing! I would like to do the whole thing next year, but being a rookie and having just begun in the endurance game I also so know how far the journey will be and right now I want to believe, but equally I will be honest with myself once I have trained in anger.

    It's infectious and an IM may be the ultimate prize for me.... but it won't be for all and what I did learn on relfection, is that at both my first triathlon a few weeks back (which was a sprint BTW which I did in pirate colours) and as part of relay team this weekend (where I did the marathon) is that you can be a pirate regardless of distance or discipline, wear the colours have a laugh and get involved

    I haven't gone long, I hope to do so one day but i'm already a pirate!

    Thanks to everyone, supporters, new pirates, old pirates, pirate widows, friends of pirates, I truly and genuinely had one of the best experiences of my life, it was only my second marathon but I will probably hold it more dear in the memory chest than my first, both were emotional, I wept on the final straight,such was the pride in the pirates and my achievement

    It was an honour to race and become one of you

    P.S. If I do an IM next year, one of you will need a bucket and lots of kleenex!


  • 'except for Gladys'


  • Delayed report.

    My first IM was Outlaw 2011 which was a fab day and nearly everything went right. The only wibble was having a punctured bike when checking on the morning f the day and having to replace the tube. I had a great day and finished 13hrs 1minute. That 1minute bugged me for months so I had to enter again


    Saturday. After registration racked bike and in final preartion pumped tyres only to break valve.  So again a wibble before the start, but could this just be a good portent of things to com. Replace tube and bought a new one from registration tent(gold plated I think going by cost of it.


    Lined up at start next to flowerpower and felt really relaxed. I hate swimming. I find it the most boring thing ever and am always glad when its finished. But I prctisedd relaxing by getting some breathing underwater st the start before the off, and was confident it would be OK.  The start was fine and apart from fretting as I kept hitting people on the legs, feet and bum, thinking they would get upset, I got into a nice rythym quiite quickly.

    Now those of you who know me will see that I wear specs. Without them I am a bit like a headless chicken. At the start I could not see the end of the lake. Anyway after about half way up the lake my calf cramped really badly, I was in the middle of the lack and panicking. I couldn't swim. I couldn't uncramp my leg, I need to get to the side(I could see that), So thats where I headed for.

  • Arrived Saturday with Azattack and pitched up in the Pirate stronghold. Chatted with Meface and Cake and crew plus a few others, Great atmosphere on the campsite.


    Water stank like Sh*t and was glad to be on my way. Had somehow managed to mislay my new goggle so only had my old leaky ones but managed to sort them out after about 10 mins. Found the new ones in the bottom of the car when I got home on Monday! Swim felt OK if a bit more choppy on the way back but not too bad. On the return leg was swimming next to someone who was crouched down and walking. tried to shout "swim you cheating B***ard" at him but only succeeded in swallowing water so left him to it

    Out of the water in 1:19 slower than last time but only by a few mins and felt OK

    T1 was steady for me and was soon out on the bike

    Bike training this year has not been as good as previous years so was expecting to average 16-17mph but the first loop saw me at 19-20mph and feeling good. The Pirate feed station was the best by far and raised my spirits no end but then soon after we turned in to the wind and the speed started to fall. Struggled from that point and apart from the second visit to the Pirate feed station found the rest of the bike tough. Saw TST on the roundabout with her very welcome smile. Chatted with a few Pirates along the way. Nearly knocked Muffin top off her bike as we both made a rush for the bananas at one feed station (Sorry again). Saw a couple of Pirates in dire straits at the side of the road which I guess must have been Capn Jack and Spongecake, Was glad to get back to HPP but had seen my 6:15 bike finish evaporate to 6:50.

    T2 New socks, off with the bike gear, on with the run shoes and out of the tent.


    The strategy was to run between the aid stations then a bit of a walk to take on nutrition. Set off down the lake and felt great but didn't realise till I headed back down the lake that I'd had a following wind. It was hard work starting the run again but I realised if I didn't start running again I would have an excuse not to get going again later in the race. Loads of Pirates on the course made it great fun but definitely some grumpy ones. Plenty of shouts and waves from the Pirate supporters around the course and they seemed to be everywhere. High fived Azattack a couple of times. Declined Cakes offer of a swig of the black stuff on the second lap. Traded places with Slimshady a few times and managed to sing him a little song as I passed him again on the final lap.Why does the last 200m seem so easy. Finished up the chute to loads of roars from the crowd and to look at my finishing photo it looks like I won the race. Finished in 5:00.

    TOTAL 13:25

    Satisfied and course tamed (on my terms at least). Only down side of the day was I missed out on the busty masseur image but I may well have embarrassed myself if she had picked me out of the queue.

    Great weekend. Definitely one to remember but I've promised the wife no more long course for me.

    Well done to all the Pirates you really made the event whether competing or supporting. Next year I may be back again as a supporter or even a relay team.

  • Pre race .. Well With the change of job and other bits n pieces going on at home training had been a bit sparse in the couple of months pre outlaw, as had any real effort to prep the bike and kit for race day.  Consequently on Friday i was still faffing about trying to improve the wheel bearing situation (hub is knackered but new balls and lots of grease sufficed for now) get the gears to engage properly, replace the broken computer, fit an extra bottle cage, adjust cleats and then get all my kit packed. Seemed to be taking a ridiculous amount of equipment with me, good job i had decided not to camp or id have never been ready in time.

    Nice quiet night at the hotel on Friday then off to HPP to register on Sat, Pirates everywhere and great to see some familiar faces. Stood in the wrong queue for a bit until Budha set me right.   In the right queue now and the 666 comments begin image.  Much disapointment from those either side of me in the queue when i got a buff (not a euphamism) and they didnt image

    Chat to more pirates and lunch with VT'd. Pingu, Mr Z and FF ..Then sat through what seemed an extrodinarily long race briefing.. Racked the bike and bags. Then back to Hotel for an early dinner with the Flat Footed posse.

    The usual no sleep situation and gave up on even trying by about 2am opting instead to start the pre race prep .. Imodiums by 4 and on to brekky

    Drove Flat footed , Sore Shins , and an interloper from east essex triimage to the start and went to do final checks and load nutrition to the bike. Put some air in the front , all ok , the back  PSSSSSSSSSSK  valve blows out .. sod it !! (teach me to be a tight arse buying decathon 3 tubes for a pound or whaterver they were) . So tube changed , run back to the car (possibly the longest continuous stretch of running i managed all day) to get another spare.

  • Swim:  As the pen 1 swimmers were taking a while to get in the water those of us already commited to the slower pens were finally given the OK to enter from the jettys. Challenge being to find a section relatively clear of goose sh!t (medium sized dogs would have been proud to produce turds the size of some of those). 1000 swimmers stirring up several inches of sediment kicked up a lovely stink. Water quite warm for the time of day (cant think why) hooter goes and we are off.  Bit of a biffing for the first 100m then relatively clear going. I grew to hate the distance markers at the side, a constant reminder that you hadnt swam nearly as far as you had thought. The buoys marking the row lanes where a useful aid to reduce my usual zig zaging though.  round the first turn and you started to see the effect of the wind as you got blown off course a bit for the second turn buoy. Harder going on the return leg but out of the water for a 1:36 which is about what i had expected.

    T1: With the precision of a Japanese whaling fleet the helpers had my wetsuit off me in no time. Bit of a faff changing the lenses in the riding glasses,otherwise no problems. Out to the bike ... not to chalenging to find and making a dogs dinner of getting cleats engaged (this the result of me sodding about with them on Fri and Sat and moving them forward a bit .. bad call).

  • Ride: With feet finally attached to the pedals made excellent progress on the wind assisted first mile, after that it all went a bit wrong really. Started getting  back pains quite early on when ever i got on the aerobars (need a propper bike fit i think) and with my ever so slightly less that aerodynamic physique the headwind was making the ride a pretty miserable experience. I turned off the miles on the computer as it was just too depressing to see .. figured it was better to just keep turning the wheels and hope for someone to turn  the wind off. Was pleased to find that the navigation to the start of loop 1 was infinately easier than it had been described in the race briefing , and I didnt even realise we were on Oxton until that last little bit  (which i'll admit i granny ringed) rest of loop one not so bad at all really. On past the cricket match ,great support there, and onto loop 2 with the prospect of pirates ahead  . "Its not a knitting club" .. that sign had to have put a smile on everyones face, love it, Pirate feed station was as we had expected second to none, awesome job all of you, out onto the second half of loop 2 , laughing out loud at the "bike sale 3pm", did my good deed for the day (i didnt realy deserve to be 666 obviously) stopping to give one of my spare tubes to someone on his third puncture of the day (either very unlucky or very bad at refitting tyres) (and yes im afraid it was one of my shite decathlon ones) then onto the miserable windy A46 section for the first time. That bit between FS 4 and FS 5 just seemed to take forever.. ave speed plumetting.  Back into Pirate central again and onto the last bit of the loops and that godammned A46 bit, even slower than the first go .. wind stronger?, legs weaker for sure . Puncture bloke spins past me again.  Heading back to HPP past the very excellent and cheery Tiger again (who we now know to be TST ) at the roundabout. Collected my drafter around about there who admired my ample backside for the last few miles and through the mountain bike section into HPP.
    Much slower than i had hoped , much harder than i had expected image

    T2: considerred losing the compression T but wasnt sure the monaco could cope without it so left it on. Forgot the sun cream , didnt take my cap (not used to starting a run in daylight), otherwise it went swimingly well .. 10 minutes to put on a knee wrap and a pair of trainers have no idea at all what took me so long.

  • Run (lol well i'll call it that if you dont mind) . The usual post bike numb feet and had already decided id walk to first feed to get the feeling back. I also had a re-occurance of the left eye probs that i had on SA's diy half recently and am now convinced its a hydration issue as it started to clear up after i started getting more fluid on (lesson for next time). First full loop was not fun .. feet were really painful (the earlier painkillers had however sorted the back by now so that was nice), i was regretting my decision not to go into work and get my other running shoes instead taking the new set (same model just unbroken) Nonetheless shuffled along.. walked a lot, but was trying to pick landmarks to run from and to to make up a little time. Seemed like every third person you saw was a pirate so lots of exchanging words of encouragement and then yaaaarghing at supporters. Not good waving at GB going past in the ambulance (good to see you were back on the beer a couple of hours later though lol) Great support from the pirate massive near the finish shute and on the bank near the band point, and the Assasin led mexican wave each lap was a real lift thanks Q, Jordy Jo et al. Great support from Cake and co out on the river bank section too but at the same time gutted that the day didnt pan out for you mate. 

    Having had comments all day about the race number and seeing that the lincoln tri FS had devil horns it seemed like a good idea to blag some for the finish (in hindsight it probably seemed much funnier to me than anyone else but hey ho) . Anyhoo, finished with a run time that was slower than my epically slow performance in IMW last year but a still a new pb overall so i'll look on the positive side.

    Flat Footed ready with the post run beer... cheers mate image

     A bloody marvelous weekend though.. it hurt yes, but still smiling . learnt a lot from the day and have 2 months to do something about it before Wales . Loving being a pirate .. you guys are ace.  Kudos to all of you competing and supporting.

    Lessons for me..
    -dont wait til the day you travel to fix the damn bike
    -dont buy cheap tubes
    -dont run in new trainers or tri shorts
    -drink more (not in a GB way .. i mean water)
    -remember that the big yellow thing in the sky that pops out from time to time will burn   you if you spend 6 and a bit hours wandering about without a cap and sun cream
    -train a bit bloody harder .... and then train a bit harder still

    Massive thanks to all the feedstaion teams, helpers and marshals who make it possible for us to go out and indulge our mid life crisis'is .  

    PS I wasn't last  woohoo !!!!!!image

  • was that more that 200 words image

  • Great reading all the reports, I'm hoping to get mine sorted tomorrow.
  • Day three. Woke with the numbness felt only at dentists! Made our way (microbeman and doner kebab) to hpp for a fry up at 7:30. DK had tried MD's in town but the 4x4 was buggered to it was a non-starter!! Hope he made it back ok. Took in the surroundings before heading back in convoy again to Sheffield, driving part of the course... It felt long in the car!!!

    To finish, met some really fantastic people this weekend, the support was amazing. My pirate badge is now on my lab coat with honour - I salut you!

    Anybody know who was lighting the bloody fuses on Saturday night??
  • M...eldy wrote (see)

    'except for Gladys'


    You'll both wait....image

  • Loving the reports. Slag, you're made me chuckle image.  FF, vomiting 16 times in 26 miles after biking and puking!!!  Blimey that's some determination going on there. imageimage

    Gonna have to finish my report tomorrow....I am now up to the run section but I am going on abit.

  • So after around 30 yards cramp eased and I looked to see if I could see turn around point. With sun im My eyes I could see diddly, but set off again. Eventually after what to me seemed like an eternity I got there. Half was on the swim and I had my doubts about finishing, but the second half was OK. Just a long water slog, punched in nose, kicked in shoulder but I got there. 1,34, 4mins slower than last year and glad it was over.Calf was hurting but OK.

    T1. Uneventful, however Monacos are a right pain to get on and I am sure it took over a minute for this simple task.


    The Go Pirate shouts at the start really cheered me. My day was now starting. Got on the bike and it seemed so easy.Then I realised we had a tail wind,The calf hurt for about 30miles,the thigh started to twinge, my stomach felt like I had swallowed a lake. I pushed on knowing I could do this. I had promised my daughter I would finish which I reminded myself of after the first lap, on the way back towards HPP before diverting out for the southern loop. It would have sooo easy just to ride home at that point. The second lap with the wind, was just hard. My back hurt. Paracetomal . Gels, High5. nothing helped.r It was really just a whole ride of crap!!Then it rained! Then it finished and I was as T2.6 hrs53. 18minutes slowerthan 2011.

    T2. Hard to walk into transition. How could I walk out. But I did. Walk. My strategy had gone. It was walk run.The cheers were great but I was in a bad place.But I figured  still had over 8 hours. So I soldiered on. I felt at times that I was staggering all over the place, but kept moving forward. As the miles went the constant support from pirates lifted me. I ate at the food sations, mainly crisps and jaffa cakes and started to feel better. I thought of my promise to my daughter.Eventually I had 8mile to go and was catching someone I knew. A target. Keep going and I would get them. Then all of a sudden I was in front(they went to the loo!!) I only had 4 miles to go and I managed to run most if it. I passed 3 pirates on the home stretch(sorry don't know who but one sounded Irish)The finish was great. Soo much more satisfying than last year in a perverse sort of way. I had endured more, suffered more took 40minutes longer but I was happy

  • Overall 13.41.44. 3 days later my calf still hurts. I will not run for a short while. I will NOT swim for a long while.  Will I be back. My OH says please NO!!  I say never say never. 

    My thanks to all Pirates who cheered, shouted, bantered and kept me going. It really did make all the difference.  

  • HappychapHappychap ✭✭✭
    Great reports, keep them coming:0)
  • Tough day out Digger the wind would have put at. Least 30 mins on most mortals times good effort mate .

    Never say never a? Talk to Flowerpower shes organising 2014s outingimage
  • Hahahaha, i knew it RBM, you'll be sucked in again i'm sureimage

    Fab reports everyone, just shows what a tough day it is. Can't believe you vomited so much and managed to keep going FF :-O Eurghhhhh that lake sounds totally skanky!
  • And where is the Naked Lady planning for 2014 RBM..

    and yes Lea, the lake did smell a bit!!

  • I would just add to my race report that somehow I managed a negative split on the run, albeit the run was 1 hour slower than my slowest standalone marathon, but a positive is a positive, if that sounds right!!

  • Cornish i was trying to wind naked flower iron power lady or whatever shes called up image deffo no IM or anything silly next year I want to do some cycle touring but 2024 is time to start ticking off my IM bucket list image

    Deffintely never to doubles and channel swims image
  • 0600 1st July found me stood up to my neck in diluted Duck poo with 1000 Outlaws waiting for the hooter sound, 1000 pairs of feet had done a wonderful job of stirring up the sediment on the bottom of the ditch that is Holme Pierrepont National water sports centre and the resulting smell was so pungent as to make the temperature of the water a mere inconvenience. 1 , 2 , 3 and were off in the usual frenzy of arms, legs, gouging, kicks and punches that is a mass start in Triathlon.

    Looking at the ditch the day before it had looked an awfully long way to the Orange marker at the turn point and so it proved to be and the smell of Duck poo was ever present, it was almost impossible to see the feet of the swimmer ahead through the green soup AKA water. Eventually I reached the turn and the long slog back to the other end of the ditch began, I wasn't swimming well and knew I was slow finally exiting the water in 1-30, the day could only get better. T1 took nearly 8 minutes as I attempted to weather proof this Dubai acclimatised body to the 12C air temperature, folks were sprinting out of transition with just a tri suit on, I had 3 layers, arm warmers, buff and beanie and was cold all day.

    The cycle was pretty uneventful, the Northern loop which we rode first had a fair bit of traffic and the only hill of note which was in all honesty more of a pimple than a hill. I was passing folks all the time and the sheer number of Pirates both racing and supporting was truly inspiring and a welcome reminder that no one looks good in Yellow and Black lycra. By the time we reached the Southern loop the wind had picked up and some of the sections were hard but in general I was feeling pretty good. The Pirate feed station was a total Aaaaaaaaaargh fest and a real boost. On the second lap as I passed yet another Pirate this one said I'm Grant better known to you lot as MrZ. We had a quick chat before I pushed on, it was about now that the horizontal rain started, lovely. A final 5K over a speed hump infested drive and back into T2 in 6 hours 5 minutes. I was happy enough with that given the wind and that I was frozen for 6 hours. Three minutes later I was wearing trainers and apparently a runner though I'm not sure my legs agreed.

    So just a marathon to run then, simples I've done over 40 of them before so what can go wrong? Straight out and around the lake / ditch, after 3 or 4 K mrZ came trotting by never to be caught again! I learnt at IM Austria last year that going out too hard was a recipe for disaster so I stayed in my ultra shuffle of around 6 min/K and shuffled on. The course was 4 laps of the ditch and 3 out and back legs to City hall along the Trent. The out and back legs were a great way top meet Pirates, though my supply of Go Pirates or Aaaargh was starting to run out. Unlike Austria I never stopped shuffling though it did get slower and eventually I entered the finish shoot in 4 - 38 my slowest ever marathon! Total time 12 hours 25 minutes and 31 seconds, 381st , almost identical to my IM Austria time.

    Another IM done and for me the last one, there are other challenges to face and as long as I do the training don't have any mechanical issues on the bike or get injured I know that I can pretty well trot them out at will. It also confirmed what I already knew I'm better at the shorter distances. It was a fun day made better by all the Pirates around the course, can't say I'm as impressed by the UK road surfaces or the UK summer!
  • Above was written for the 3-39 thread can't be bothered to change it. Am considering doing the Henley half next year just to get my quota of Aaaaaaarghs for 2013
  • some amazinh reports.....and the times are brilliant....................

    i didn't notice anty duxk poo or smell when i was in the water saturday.........i thought it was clear...........maybe the noseclip helped mask the smell for me.......

  • Maybe a 2000 feet stirring up the bottom before the start turned it into duck-poo soup!
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