You want to run, while we are on holiday? Do you have too!!

Actually yes i do. I am going away for ten days soon, to Somerset, on a campground, with some of the most lovely hills and roads to run down. But this being a family holiday, my partner, my 7 yr old. I shouldn't be selfish, so should just not run. But.. we are going away for ten days..and ten days without running, when i have a race on the 19th, a week after i get back, and the fact i will miss running in general, so what do you do?

My solution was / is, to get up at first light, and be back no later than 7.30. I mean, they will both be asleep, so whats the problem.. Actually my partner was very unhappy about this, giving the line, 'you care more about running than us'...

Am i just being selfish here, or do i have just cause i wonder...

Comments

  • Curly45Curly45 ✭✭✭

    If you enjoy running and it sounds like you do, then part of relaxing involves running.

    Holidays are made for relaxing.

    It is your holiday too. Go running.

    Surely it will be nice for her to have a lie in and you have breakfast already made post run for all of you image

  • PhilPubPhilPub ✭✭✭

    Yeah, get some bacon and eggs on the go shortly after your shower, job done.  And make sure there's no sweaty running kit lying around, and don't talk about running.  Stealth holiday running...

  • E mmyE mmy ✭✭✭

    I agree with the others - just make sure that you're back for breakfast or could you take your son with you? Maybe he could cycle on his bike and you could run so that your wife can relax by the pool or alternatively have some "me" time.

  • if you put off spending time with your family for running her point may well hold some value, but if you're back from your run before they even wake, i really can not see why that is a problem, 

  • Ghostrider wrote (see)

    My solution was / is, to get up at first light, and be back no later than 7.30. I mean, they will both be asleep, so whats the problem.. Actually my partner was very unhappy about this, giving the line, 'you care more about running than us'...

    Am i just being selfish here, or do i have just cause i wonder...

    If you will be back before they are even awake, I think this is more about control than anything else.

    Wake her up at the time you'd plan to go running the first morning, and ask her what joint activity she would like to do instead (nudge, nudge).

  • Life is about compromise and I suspect that running is quite a big part in your life. If you can't give it up for 10 days then I personally think that's pretty selfish of you and don't blame your partner for being upset. Plus a rest sometimes helps

  • I suspect asking a bunch of people on a forum for runners may not give you the most balanced perspective on thisimage



    I get a similar reaction from my wife and kids, and I try and adopt a similar approach. I also go one step further and promise that every hour I spend running while we're away is "matched" by an hour where my wife get her "me" time and she can do whatever she wants, either with me and the kids, or completely on her own....



    Equally though, it's a very good question to ask yourself every now and then..... Do you care more about running than about those closest to you? Do your actions back this up?



    Sometimes mine don't, and I (in the long-run - no pun intended) appreciate it when this is pointed out to me.
  • I agree with young pup that the forum might be biased..............i think you have to look as running as just part of the relationship..........

    if you run early and she is still upset then i think that running is probably just part of the problem so you should talk..........she must feel neglected  or threatened or feel that she doesn't have equivalent me time or something....................otherwise why would you running a few times a week early bother her....................

  • DUMP HER



    Ooops sorry. I thought this was mumsnet for a moment.



    It's all about compromise though isn't it. Does your partner have any thing that would particularly like to do.Are you the sort of bloke who refuses to be left alone with with his own child?
  • I agree with the above 2 posts, although my initial reaction was yes go running!

    Actually my partner was very unhappy about this, giving the line, 'you care more about running than us'... This sentence says alot though, perhaps she's coping with you out running a lot at home but really feels holiday should be holiday which means no running! Or does it mean more than that.......Perhaps a compromise and proper conversation about it would be beneficial?

    Having said that I'm also biased as I generally run on holiday - proper races that I enter beforehand. So, I've run in Amsterdam; Lisbon; Scotland etc, and my other half is very supportive and enjoys seeing the cities etc (plus our children are grown up).  BUT he also has a hobby that means he is out 2 evenings per week between October and March......

    Good luck image

     

  • Go Running and say yes it is more important than you image

    In all honesty I go running whilst on holiday, im off down the road for a week away and I will run every day without fail. I'll be up and home before the Mrs is even awake and thats always been my routine so shes cool with it. I have to say that if she knew how much it meant to you she would let you do it?

    Plus I live in Somerset and its the best place to go running and it would be a shame to miss out

  • Try  and explain it's alot better than propping up the Clubhouse Bar on the Campsite like many men do (without their Wife's / Kids).

     

  • ha ha.. some interesting comments on here. Well i will be running while in Somerset, but just every couple of days for an hour very early on, but like all sports, they can take over your life. Mine is in moderation, and it has always been a tricky subject, but to be fair, she has stood in the pouring rain to watch me come over the finishing line, and i am not one of the lads, so never out boozing every night.

    I think a lot of people, reading on here, have faced similar dilemmas, but i think only runners truly understand other runners. To run 13 miles in the freezing wind, and mud, and rain, climbing countless hills, and facing injury at any moment, its not for everyone, but unless you have really entered its spirit, then to non-runners it will always be something of a crazy place.

  • My solution, for what it's worth, is either up early before they get up or if we've been out for the day on holiday and if it's a sensible distance away I'll run back to the campsite or get dropped off say 10 miles away with an OS map and make my own way back down lanes and bridleways. We get a family day out, I get a run and everyone's a winner.

  • Nessie73Nessie73 ✭✭✭

    I usually do fit in a run or two if we're away in this country, but hubby isn't always hugely impressed.  As the others have said, the pay off is that I'll look after the kids while he goes for a bike ride or just has a lie in one day. But sometimes he doesn't like it- he doesn't really *get* that running is part of my enjoyment whilst away- and I'm not sure it's worth making a big deal out of it.  He'd never stop me from doing anything but equally does it matter if you go without a run for ten days?  Last year we went to Greece for a week and I didn't run cos I thought he wouldn't be too pleased and will do same this year in Turkey.  It's the only full week a year I get off and I'm sure it's good for me to do sod all, eat crap and drink beer all week image

  • What stands out for me is the OP's wife doesn't want him to run even if it's done before she wakes up in the morning.

    Why would you object to that?  It's not taking up time he would/could/should be with her and the children.

     

  • maybe its just a jokey.you care more about running tahn us...ratehr than a hysterical one.........

    i know that i wouldn't stop my hubby doing things he enjoyed the same as he wouldn't stop me...as long as there was a balance and that the child care particulars were sorted out...........

  • Wilkie - my wife used to moan about me doing my Sunday long run really early in the morning, and in her case the issue was that my getting up early wakes her up, sometimes disturbs the kids, definitely means waking up the dog, and generally increases the chance that she won't get quite as long a lie in. We've now agreed that some of my long runs are done later on a Saturday afternoon in order to preserve the Sunday morning lie-in....



    In the OP's case, if they are on holiday and camping, I would have thought the same possible reasons to object apply?
  • I go running when we're on holiday, I'd go do-lally-tap if I didn't!!  image

    I tend to get up early & go and then a couple of times I'll get dropped on the Camal trail and do a longish run. Hubbie can play a bit of a face, but tbh I ignore him image

    He does go off for walks and I make sure there's always plenty of beer so it's normally ok !!image

    and I couldn't possibly miss out on running along a beach or coastal path I mean I live close to Birmingham for God's sake !! image

  • I don't mind being woken up early - and then getting to go back to sleep. 

    In enhances the enjoyment, in fact, knowing that I can just go back to sleep for another hour or two!

    I guess maybe I'm more tolerant - if my OH wants to do something at the weekend or on holiday which doesn't entirely suit me, I just remind myself that it's his weekend/holiday too.

    I know he doesn't mind if I want to go off and do something for an hour ot two that he doesn't want to do.

  • Who's to say she's being intolerant?  Presumably the OP works full time.  It may be that his wife owrks either full or part time, or she may be a stay at home mum.  Either way, its reasonable to assume that, given his pastime, she takes on the bulk of the childcare and quite possibly household duties too.  As a mother I can see where the wife has an argument, in that the likelihood of waking the entire caravan whilst preparing for/coming back from a run is significantly higher than in the family home, therefore potentially not only ruining any chance of lie ins (not everyone can be quite as magnificently selfless as Wilkie) through the holiday, but also resulting in the wife being left to deal with child/dressing/breakfast/genreal child related early morning grouchiness until he comes back from his run - his solo time that he can grab any time he wants - feeling all fresh and relaxed.  Add to that the fact that holidays are supposed to be family time - time together as a family.  Has there been an offer forthcoming from the OP to let his wife stay in bed a bit longer while he takes the child out for the morning, swimming for instance?  Or maybe breakfast so that mum doesn't have to do it and can have a bit of time to herself?

    That aside, I agree that a running forum is a very biased place to ask such a question.  Its also a plce where you will get a predominently one sided answer.  Why not pop over to a mum's forum somewhere and get the other side of the argument?  Or....and here's a novel idea.....talk directly to your wife in a mature way to try to find out exactly what the issue is.  image

  • I dont think you are being unreasonable unless you're planning on being out 3 hours every day.

    She should want you to go running and you should want to make sure she has time to do what she wants to do, alone or together. Simples.

     

  • "Magnicently selfless" image

    Must let my OH know that. 

    I don't think it's anything like magnificently selfless, it's just give and take. 

     

  • Holiday is no reason to not run,got up early when we went away last year,but was a but wobbly from the drinking the night before..still went out
  • What would she rather you being doing while she is sleeping?

    What does she think of you running when shes awake and not on holiday?

     

     

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