never thought I'd be a victim

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Comments

  • Agree with a lot of that. Unless a phrase is shown in context then it doesn't mean anything. I think Muttley's advice is more helpful than the "lets nail the bastard" rants.
  • @Mimaduck - how was the meeting today?

    @Muttley - thats a good bit of advice for others in that situation. Would there be any experiences when you wouldnt recommend that action?

  • Thinking of you today mima.

  • The worst advice on this thread was that if you feel you are being bullied, then you are. That's good for tea and sympathy but dangerous otherwise.

    If you play that card at work you will very quickly be regarded as the office princess.

  • Dreamtwister/Lardarse/Yifter/whatever you're calling yourself this week could you possibly feck off and troll somewhere else?   If you have a problem with what I wrote then please send me one of your trademark unpleasant PMs.  I'm big enough and ugly enough to not be bothered by it, but leave Mima alone, she's having a rough time and doesn't need this.

    Hope it went okay today Mima

  • evening all.

    Meeting was ok - I sort of knew how it would go - most of what I wanted to say was taken out of context and I had to (for the sake of keeping my job and the peace) swallow it and just accept what he was saying. The one good thing is he is no longer my line manager and I report to someone else.

    Muttley - I have no intention of being the "office princess" and I am far from it - but when everything I do (and I've done it properly) is critised, when I'm told in front of the entire office that "you haven't a clue what you're talking about" and "if its too hard for you I'll get xxx to do it (the administrator)" combined with verbally threatening me and getting extremely pissy when I refused to go for a drink after work...all of that amounts to at the least unpleasant behaviour/unnecessary picking on.

    However - I have a message from an agency who have found my CV and they think my skill set matches a role they want to fill - calling them back tomorrow and we'll see what happens.

  • Hash wrote (see)

    Dreamtwister/Lardarse/Yifter/whatever you're calling yourself this week could you possibly feck off and troll somewhere else?   If you have a problem with what I wrote then please send me one of your trademark unpleasant PMs.  I'm big enough and ugly enough to not be bothered by it, but leave Mima alone, she's having a rough time and doesn't need this.

    Hope it went okay today Mima

    Well said mate....

    Mima...some of those phrases sound a bit like what i have at work..but my boss says them in banter. Yours sounds a step beyond that though. So stay strong, and don't let someone force you out...

    i'll drop you a mail of something that's happening at my work, that i can't post here...now that's a dodgy position, but may give you hope you're not as badly off!


     

  • Mima you really have my sympathy, I stuck a job for a year and a half when to be honest I should have walked after 3 months.  if your face doesnt' fit, for whatever reason (and in my case, the manager was on an ego trip and wanted to surround himself with women he could flirt with and men who cowtailed to him and told him how fab he was), and the manager is unprofessional then it's a horrible environment.  I walked out when I couldn't take anymore and it had taken a huge toll on my mental  health.

    I hope a new line manager will change things for you

  • bosses who bully workers  should be banned from been bosses for life   they have no respect for anyone but them selfs

  • I know what you mean kk...and I do see the point other people have made. I cannot begin to fathom what he is thinking, or why he felt the need to say what he has said.

    I'm not about to back down from what I've said, he was/is bullying me, he changed when I refused to go for a drink with him and I know that I'm good at what I do.

    Hopefully the meeting today will resolve some points and I can get on with my job - without any issues.

  • I think Twister has made anough good points to warrant being heard. But if Hash or anyone else doesn't like it then use the ignore features. I also think MimaDuck is big enough to take care of herself on this Forum and doesn't need the big brother/get in your pants protection.
  • Dreamtwister - I'm fascinated - why sign up for this forum when your profile is so totally devoid of any details about your running activities/preferences and you only post on contentious issues - usually non running related  I am sure that your intentions are totally honourable in showing the rest of us the error of our ways, but your approach does tend to give ammunition to those who accuse you of trolling - however misguided they might be.

    (BTW - I think ignore member one of the worst features introduced on this site)

  • Thanks for sticking up for me Bear B., Hash etc - means alot that I have at the very least a virtual support network.

    Nick - I've never ever had issues like this - possibly why I found it so hard to deal with and why it made me quite so upset and angry.

    Things have eased off now I have a new line manager - and there may be bigger changes ahead but for now, I'm very glad to have a bit of breathing space.

    Dreamtwister & Sussex Runner - thanks for your contributions. I am able to "take care of myself" but it's also nice to have someone looking out for me when I'm just that little bit more fragile than normal. And yes, I was a victim. And also having a tough time. But thanks to the nice people on here, it makes it a bit easier to get my head round.

  • All the best mimaduck image.

  • Mimaduck, glad to hear things are getting better. Bullies are just sad sad people who carry on every aspect of their life in that way. Dont listen to them. Sounds like he thinks he is great at everything he does and only he can do things. You know you are good at what you do. Be happy you are a better person than them and stay strong. Never let them beat you. xx

  • Shall I get the ducking stool ready Barry?
  • I must admit I don't care whether someone runs 1-3 times a week or whatever. I'm here to hear what people have to say not stalk them. Can't we just agree to disagree that people might just come on here and have different ideas of what forums are about.



    The contentious issues are only interesting if there are people who are interested in re-assessing their own opinion aswell as giving their own. I'd like to think my own opinion is not set in stone. My initial reaction to this thread is to support the OP in this but the reaction of the ducking stool mob is not so much shocking as just plain dumb.
  • SR - I don't think there was a lynch mob mentality - just advice to mimaduck on what to do and some good wishes for what she clearly found a distressing experience.  As you seemed to have changed your opinion based on other people's reaction then that seems to indicate a desire to be contrary rather than balanced.

    Dreamtwister, if it looks like a troll, smells like a troll and posts like a troll......

  • But I don't agree on the definition on a Troll being someone who has a different opinion to every one else. If we were iun Nazi Germany in 1936 would the troll be the one who didn't want to gas the Jews? Ooooops just evoked Godwin's law!!
  • SR - I wasn't accusing you of being a troll - just irrational.

  • Fair enough - I never said what was going on. I never expected sympathy but I've come to speak to several people on here regularly and have been offered sound advice previously.

    I refused to go for a drink with the boss and after that things changed. Snide comments, calling me while I was on site (when I had stuff to do on site) to come back to the office for no reason, putting me down in front of the office, trying to make out that I'm incompetent (I'm not) by implying I've messed stuff up (I hadn't), culminating in threatening me by saying "you don't want to make an enemy out of me".

    small things but even small things build up quickly. Yes - things have eased off now I have a new line manager - I've never said they hadn't. I am not a drama queen - I just don't like being made to feel threatening and vulnerable.

  • I am indeed - we'll see what happens though.

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